swans, swans and more swans....

had a class for work on wednesday. it was mandatory and right in the middle of my day. as these things go it wasn't the worst class ever. some are just so silly. like pep talks, but pep talks are rarely effective when forced down an employees throat.
after the class i grabbed the pups and headed off to n bivouac for a little walk before i had to return to work for my 12 hour shift. figured to just get in 2-3 miles and saw these 4 swans off in the distance on the big ponds out there. of course, that meant i had to walk across several hundred feet of bog. if you've never walked on bog it's not the most stable substrate out there. it's very spongy. in the summer this would have been impossible as the mosquito's would have eaten us all.

i was delighted that these 4 swans decided to swim over to us. must have been curious of us. i, of course, loved the reflections and lighting as well.

one must always be ready to extend a walk when a photo op is presented. swans are always a grand photo op. i never bore of them.....they are just so graceful and beautiful. soon there will be no swans. the darkness comes earlier and earlier each day. hate seeing my days end earlier, but come december the reverse will again begin. does make one appreciate and take advantage of the light we are given each day. not sure i could live in the far north where the sun is gone for months. i enjoy getting out in the light we get. as it is we get down to maybe 5 hours of light per day...with dusk and dawn that seems appreciably less.

worked the peds floor the first night. we were all quite busy out there. got to work with margaurite, one of my favorite nurses. she's been nursing longer than i've been alive. without giving her age she is a good 10 years post retirement age. she totally rocks though. we always laugh when we work together. we have the same attitude on most all things. i'm always praying that i get many years with an intact mind. life is joy and i hope i don't lose any of the joy of this earth from dementia or the like. it's so devastating. of course, i'm sure some would say i have already lost my mind.

really, i'm greedy and hope to stay on this earth for many years to come as there is still so much for me to experience, learn and enjoy. each day is truely a gift and i am blessed. it's funny that some struggle to "think positive" and find something to be grateful for every day. people do exercises to write down what they are grateful for. my list seems endless...i don't know how so many people can feel such despair when surrounded by such beauty.

look at these birds...are they not a sight to behold. i'm sure they know how absolutely beautiful they are. probably don't interact with the mere geese, ducks and grebes, eh?

blossom seemed quite awestruck by the swans as well. she's pretty good around wildlife. rarely barks when seeing them on trails....now if she sees them from the house or car, that is a totally different thing. rio was also curious. felt bad dragging rio through the bog but the birds had to be photographed.

when i'm new at a job i tend to be quiet, which is amazing for me really. i suppose this means that i actually can control my mouth and just choose not to. please do not tell. hehe. anyway, i do stay in an observational mode. i want to people watch and get a feel for the personalities i'll be working with, who you can trust, who you can learn from, who to avoid. i've noticed other people come in rather loudly. i recall one travel nurse introduced herself to me like, "hi, my name is tammy, i know everything so if you have any questions feel free to ask me". we never did work well after that. i think the only time i've cried at work was after she had been horrible to me. she was always horrible to me. we'd work 12 hours and rarely utter a word to each other. (and this was in a 4 bed icu).

i remember a friend at the time gave me some kind words. she told me that if only one person will be your friend and everyone else hates you, well you probably have a personality issue, but if most people like you and just one person is hateful to you, well it's probably just that one persons issue.

sometimes first impressions are totally on, sometimes in time you can come to know a person and find they aren't as much like thier first impression came off. i have several friends who i didn't like when i first came to know them. it's always best to keep an open mind. i don't think as a new person to a unit it's a good idea to keep your opinions and comments to yourself for a bit, find out who your real allies are. i also tend to roll my eyes are people who are overly confident for thier exeriences. cockiness is never an attractive quality, nor is yammering on about how wonderful you are.

got a new bumper sticker for my yakima today. a quote i've loved for quite some time. i think my neice, claire, sent a birthday card to me a few years back with the quote on it. "well behaved women rarely make history". so true. another favorite quote that i'd like to get on a bumper sticker for the car is, "practice random acts of kindness and senseless beauty".

it took some will power to get me to the pool today. i did finally get in. stupidly, i went into the steam room first. it makes getting in the pool so much harder. freezing. i went in after my laps as well, as a reward. they close early weekends so i didn't get all my laps, but it felt good. free swim was just ending. i see those same lifeguards often and they looked wiped today. there were lots of kids in there today. they seemed to have thier hands full.

some sort of hawk feather. looked pretty there. i balanced on some bog matter and get a picture.

i slept until almost 2:30 this afternoon. i usually wake up earlier when i know i don't have to return to work but i must have been sleepy. i decided to head out to the coastal wildlife refuge. i haven't gone this time of year to the one area and i couldn't take the trail i was hoping. apparently it's very marshy and wet when not frozen. the place does have a wonderful sledding hill i'd like to test out this winter. in the end i walked with the dogs along the railroad tracks.

after we'd done that for maybe 3 miles we drove over to potters marsh so i could check out the swans hanging there. i climbed back over the tracks a few times for some landscape pictures. it just looked pretty.

funny all these people were out photographing the swans. they had huge cameras and lenses and didn't seem to look to see if there was anything else worth photographing. i don't have the big lenses and all that, but sometimes the best shots are missed if you sit and stare at just one aspect of your surroundings. you can see sleeping lady in the distance in the above shot.

love using railroad tracks in pictures. potters is along turnigan arm if you aren't familiar.

reflections and distant swans.

the plants are always fun anytime of year. thought these looked cool out there.

and as i walked along the highway by the marsh this guy popped out. never got a great shot of him, but always cool to get sightings of little otters or whatever he is.

more plant life out there.

back to swans. there were several pairs out there at potters. i'd guess at least 15 birds.

the trees south of town have a few more leaves than the ones near my house have.

i think the swans enjoy getting thier pictures taken. i had one swan in ketchikan who i swear loved his photo op and posed for me over and over again.

a few of them had pretty dirty mugs. they are filling up in preparation for thier long journey south.

old poem:

-

i watched as a star ran away,

he must have landed in russia,

or maybe africa,

for i never saw him touch down,

i just watched as he broke loose,

from his great galaxy.

sometime, i too, will run away,

far away from my suburban home,

maybe i'll run like he to russia or africa,

and i shall search and find that star,

i'll climb to a point,

hold tight,

and send him back to light the sky,

and sing the world a lullaby. '83

well i'd guess i did get away from my suburban home like that poem predicted. not to russia or africa, not yet anyway. still places i'd like to explore...russia, africa, austrailia, new zealand, antarctica...just to name a few.

well, here it is almost 2 am and i'm still goofing around, watching james herriot episodes and craving a chocolate shake.

okay, i think this above picture of swans in flight is my favorite of the day. came out quite nicely....luck and location....that is photography.

another fine shot of sleeping lady and below the inlet looking in.

and looking across to the kenai peninsula.

i think there are 8 swans in this picture. love the trees in the back

it's the season of constant political ads. so annoying. my friend had mentioned one that she found especially stupid, i saw it the other day. it really is dumb. the democratic candidate for senator is from southeast alaska. not much experience to brag about so instead he mentions something about his years as a fisherman and having norwegian fisherman swearing at him in norwegian and that if he can handle that he can handle anything. obviously not a direct quote. i tend to forget temperatures if i don't write them down immediatley. it's as stupid as the statement palin made about being able to see russia from here.

these last pictures are from the walk along the tracks. it was a pleasant walk. i was a bit anxious about the homeless dude. he was setting up down the tracks. it gets cold at night. he was already drunk, but pretty young. what a sad waste these young people who have already become lost to society it seems.

that area by the inlet is where i walk once the ground is frozen up and the walking easier.

there is a little trail that runs along side the tracks, i think it actually goes pretty far. i turned around as it was getting later and the bear scat was making me nervous too, though i had my bear spray and 2 large dogs.

loved the yellows above and that there are still some flowers out there making it.

i shall now follow these tracks to bed. must really work on the to do list. rei has a sale and i need a new puffy coat for winter.

goodnight all.

it's after midnight, do you know where your moose is???

always those precarious moments when walking the trails of alaska. i came upon a mother and her two calves. the calves were originally up the hillside and the mom on the other side of the trail. did the loop around beer can lake (campbell lake). didn't get much for pictures as they were mostly in the trees. did get this one nice shot of the male calf. he's quite handsome. the calves came down the hill to join thier mom and in the end, in the interest of time, i went up the hill to give them some space. of course, this meant me getting some devils club in my arse.

the pups love beer can lake. blossom did some swimming and dock diving after the walk. this is the two of them snuggled up together in the car. blossom sits up front and doesn't look too happy that rio is working her way into the space.

got my flu shot yesterday morning. my arm is raised, red and sore!! looks lovely. i thought swimming would help, but it's still just sore. wonder if it's the swine shot i believe they put in there. i asked for info and sharon went to get it, but then there was a patient in the emergency and all was getting a bit nuts, so i just went home since report was over. for years i never got the flu shots and i always had a horrible cold a few times each year. since getting the shots i've been cold free. hmm?? since i get sick for over a month when i get a cold bug, i'm happy to just skip it all. always controversy over the shots. i did skip the swine flu shot when it finally came out in like jan/feb. by that time i had quite literally taken care of the sickest swine flu patients in all of alaska it seems and so i felt that if i hadn't gotten it by that point i was safe. did fine. i just don't like getting shots, especially when my body reacts such as this. the last time i got the tetanus shot i could barely move my arm for a week it was so sore and swollen.

above rio enjoys the day. i got a late start, but no matter. tomorrow i'm back to work though and i have some ridiculous mandatory class to attend beforehand. 2 hours of wasted time, but at least i get paid for it. hospitals waste so much money on these silly training courses. it won't help me be a better nurse. in our quest for patient satisfaction we've gone all soft and fuzzy and forgotten the basics of what a hospital is here for. i'm all for family involvement, but we do need to keep in mind that for the most part they are in a fragile and emotional state. i think what they want is to assured we are doing all we can for thier loved one, and working hard to make them better. i think most people would rather just forget they were even in the hospital. in the end they are reminded by reams of mail telling them of the money they owe and quickly forget all the good care they recieved while they were sick. JAHCO has cost hospitals major bucks which has then been passed along to patients. many things are good ideas in the begining, but over time, they overstep and lose sight of what thier original goals were. the main thing i've noticed is that i have to constantly prove to JAHCO that i know the exact same thing i knew last year and therefore i've less opportunity to learn new things. so annoying. just speaking of JAHCO gets my blood boiling and my blood pressure up so i avoid it. that is the answer to anything stupid one must do in the hospital though, JAHCO.

it was a lovely day and one of the reasons i chose this trail in kincaid is this little view of denali when it shows up. who doesn't enjoy a view of the big mountain? so there she is.

swung by costco on my way back from the trail...yet another reason to choose that trail. i like to bunch stuff together so as not to use as much gas. jeff, my brother, called while i was in costco so fun to chat with him. also spoke to my sister. i'm sure i spent way too much as i was gabbing on the phone while shopping. did buy the latest season of bones that just came out.

blossom looks so cute in the leaves...

the candy is stocked. i like that show "the closer" and liked that she had a candy/snack drawer in her office so i now have one as well. i make my friends crazy as apparently when other people have a bag of chocolate in thier homes it doesn't last long. i have leftover candy from last christmas no doubt and i generally just take the aging candy to work. i find that in a hospital, all food will get consumed.

watched one of those real life emergency room shows while i got ready for work the other night. a young girl had accidently swallowed a large fork. apparently bulimics lose the ability to procure emesis with just thier finger over time and utilize longer and longer objects to induce vomiting. who knew?? very strange. i am not bulimic nor anorexic. i do recall being in a gym class and a girl sitting next to me was pointing out a girl a few rows down who had lost a great deal of weight during the summer. we had no idea what these disorders were at the time, but she described how this girl ate whatever she wanted and then simply vomited it all back up or used laxatives to shit out the calories. as i had, myself, gained what seemed like many pounds, this was pondered at length. i even went so far as to purchase laxatives. i really don't like vomiting. in the end in my simple mind i decided it was better to be a little chubby than to shit your pants accidently in junior high. the laxatives were never utilized.

in the end i'm pretty healthy i think, though in truth none of us can know what brews inside us. i see plenty of folks who were just fine one day and dead or nearly dead the next. the only guarantee in this life is that it will end, sooner or later. i'm all for later as long as i still have an intact mind and some independence.

new poem

-

she sat in the desert,

holding her child,

he was ill,

the medicine he needed,

not available in her village,

across the globe,

another child,

recieves medicine,

that child will live,

hers will not.

-

often at work i see patients who have limited hope of any sort of productive life due to the major medical issues they have. yet, we do everything possible for those kids. they are born here in america. we have the means to keep tiny, premie babies alive, to cure traumas and diseases. in the poorer regions of our planet these babies would simply die or be put out to beg and try and collect funds til they perish. i often think of the millions of dollars that i see spent on one life here in america when that money could save thousands of lives abroad. what i see though is one mother, one mother with a child who is sick of a preventable or curable disease who won't be able to help thier child. in my mind i see those mothers and their dying babies when i take care of patients here who are completely incapable of any sort of recovery and yet we keep doing more and more to keep them alive because being alive in our nation is enough. i often wonder what those dying babies would have possibly been able to contribute if they'd only been given a vaccine or some fluids or antibiotics. all the money i see spent on just one patient here that could have saved thousands elsewhere. is a life less of a life if it is born in another nation....or should that life be just as valued. i would hate to have to explain to some mother holding a dying baby why her baby will die while one in america will be given every medical advance even when that child will not ever recover or contribute.

dog walk monday!!!

my little amur is starting to show a bit more colour. looks pretty nice out there in the front lawn. maybe i won't have tree envy for long once my little maple comes into its own.

worked the last 4 nights and still managed to get out of bed in time for my monday walk. it was no easy task waking this morning. i think i slept for maybe 3.5 hours. we had 4 humans and 4 dogs today on the walk. it was a lovely fall day, blue skies abounded though oddly we kept getting rained on. above is tanya, lena and karen. karen hasn't done this long of a walk since her hip and shoulder surgery. she did great. i was very excited to have her out and about after all she's been through. of course, i was worried that the dogs would take her out. happily there were no tumbles.

work was fine enough all week. 2 nights in the adult icu and then 2 in peds icu. all in all quite a pleasant week. they tossed a nicu nurse at me for "orientation". i guess the censes is low down there and thier travelers get paid whether they work or not so they seem to come upstairs to orient. of course, the next night they floated up a nurse from there to take patients in peds and she was less than pleasant. she pulled out her contract which states that she doesn't take any patients over one year. considering how often the peds nurses float down there and help them out it seems odd that they are so difficult on the rare occasion peds requests help.

i returned home and took a nap post my monday walk. i had high expectations for accomplishing much. i did get the usual laundry, dishes and such done. swimming got missed,but i can still get 3 swims in this week. more fun to get off on the walk and drink a cup of joe, or hot cocoa as the case may be with friends. it was so nice outside we sat outside.

blossom spent a great deal of the walk violating her dog sister. very nice, eh? she has accidently been trained to hump rio in the hopes that in our haste to save rio we'll get her toy from the dog who has ran off with it and give it to blossom. one day we realized we'd just created a humping monster. so thus blossom is once again on the humping wall of shame. of course,looking at that face, i don't see any remorse what so ever.

indy managed to make it through the walk without getting into too much trouble. not many leaves left on the trees anymore. keep meaning to get out there and do yardwork again. still have a few beds that need cleaned out. the sun set sooner than i had planned for, winter is coming.

happy people and happy dogs...that is what the monday walk is all about. above is lena, below tanya and karen.

i'm the paparazzi of the trails. most of the snap shots get tossed out, but if you take enough pictures sooner or later, one will be a keeper or nearly so anyway.

above is tanya, below karen.

the day before i ended up meeting kelly and mandy out at university lake.

it was another beautiful day out there. great to get out there and enjoy.

i was begining to think the larch only changed thier colour every few years, but they have now begun to change, most dramatically.

hadn't seen kelly in ages again. she keeps busy,but it's always great to catch up with her. some friends you just always pick up like not a day has passed.

watching a bit of james herriot presently.

rio has been wearing her new coat....she wore it into the dip yesterday. it's not waterproof of course, but all things seem to dry eventually. she does enjoy a dip...at least until the lake freezes.

walking the dogs between shifts is always the best of stress relievers. they do bring out the best in ya.

another shot of the larch.

no rants today. i'm a bit slow minded. my list of stuff to do grows as i grow sleepier and sleepier.

saturday i did a loop of the bog.

i have been loving the grass colours.

definitly snow on that chucagh range.

saturday i headed to work and was graced with this lovely rainbow. sorry about the power cords, but i had limited time and ran myself late as it was. when i got to work i sat down in the icu as scheduled only to be told i was to head off to the peds icu...making me even more rushed. i always love a rainbow though.

one rainbow is great, but a double is even better.

well, that is all for me. hope all are enjoying life!!