another litter have all found homes since last i wrote

Had a few more trips to Homer. It's easy and beautiful there. Adjusted my schedule to hit some low tides. The trip after I last blogged, I was texted by animal control with another litter. I took in Amora and her 4 adorable kittens. dropped them back off when I was headed for the next trip to Homer. 

It's been a cooler year with rain or clouds often in the morning. Some clearing by evening. The wildflowers are popping out, and even the fireweed is starting to grow. The lupine and many other flowers are a bit behind schedule. 

The crew was so cute, and a few were especially snuggly. The mom immediately got diarrhea and vomiting. Got right on them, and the shelter staff even gave me instructions and supplies to do SQ fluids. Amora looked thin and was thin.   3 days of SQ fluids and she did start to perk up. A few kittens also got some fluids. Just tiny Clubbies was slightly underweight when I took them back, was headed to Homer again though. Clubbies got a home first, and the others soon followed. Amora, the mom, had to have her milk supply dry up so she could get spayed. She found a home within a few days, though. So sweet. Great to have success with these litters. You really get attached fast. Miss Clubbies and Bondii both wanted to eat solids from my lap for the longest time.

Named the kittens after a TV show in Australia I've been watching reels of. A reality show about the lifeguards at Bondi Beach.

Always love my Homer low tides. This last trip, we took a water taxi over to explore a new spot to beach comb.  Lots of seaweed but still fun to see new stuff and explore a bit. I was nervous about loading and unloading the dogs as the first boat did not have a front loader. We arrived at the beach, and they pulled out a ladder. Sunny jumped off the bow onto the beach. Ivy is a bit older and has bad knees. The owner of Mako's had joined us and he kindly got Ivy safely to ground. The return boat had a front loader, so we could just walk on.

Usually get 15,000-20,000 steps a day on these trips. 

Tomorrow I head to Valdez for a few nights. The little cabin i love at the KOA wasn't available, but we will stay in a big tent already set up that has cots. I've done that before. Not as good as the little cabin, but it's just 2 nights. The week after I will make another run to Homer for another low tide.  Maybe we will do the hike to the glacier or go to Seldovia to walk. we shall see. depends on tide times

Should do some bigger adventures, I think. So far this is working. it's all pretty. Fun to just get out and explore. 

Work, well, I'm always pondering when to retire.  The health insurance is my biggest concern. They put me in ICU again. When I asked the staffing people, they said I had been removed from the ICU list. They returned with putting me with step-down patients. The next night, CSU. The next week, back in ICU but now with "stable" patients. The thing with that is that if those step down or ICU patients become unstable, they will not trade out assignments. It's too difficult, as you'd have to move patients around in that unit. If I transfer out a step-down patient, I will be expected to take whatever ICU patient comes. In the meantime, the last time I worked there was in December, I think. It stresses me out to be guilted at 5-10 minutes before shift starts to take assignments i am no longer comfortable with. It feels like bullying at some level. The unit already has your name to come help, and now you are putting everyone in a terrible position at the last minute. It's not fair to me or to them. 

By morning, I had a tension headache with nausea. Called out. These units are literally making me ill. I wrote a note at like 3 am to the management team. Hoping this helps.

I wish ICU had not become a source of such stress, but I am hypervigilant when I am there. I do fine, but at what cost, really. At this time, the cost is mine and somewhat my coworkers, who have to support me more than they should. Do not wish to stay in ICU longer than i should and have to be made to leave. I've seen that happen. ICU is just not a place where you can be less than 100%, and I do not feel 100%. I simply do not work enough hours there to stay confident and skilled. No amount of healthstreams can make up for lack of time at the bedside

Having worked ICU for over 20 years, I do believe I've earned a break from it, and I also believe that I can still be an asset.  I may still just retire if I can find reasonable coverage. Sadly, this nation values its workers so little. Values all its people so little. the corruption and greed is so out of control. 

We just had 250 years this fourth. I did nothing to celebrate really. It was fireworks for 2 nights in a row until well after 1 in the morning. Ivy stayed close, but poor Sunny Boy was panting and clinging tightly to me. Last night he tried to fit himself in a small space. I got him back on the bed and under the covers to snuggle.  Nothing to celebrate in my mind. We are headed in a terrible direction. white supremacists gathered in DC to celebrate and protest. 

Bears are in the neighborhood. It was tipping trashcans and pooped in my front yard, brat! I'll put his poop at the top of my trash in the can. I tend to layer my trash. Anything that smells interesting to a bear gets layered under cat litter or yard clippings or dog poop. I also have a bungee cord that I release before they do their pick up. Hoping that bear leaves the garbage tomorrow. Trash bears are often killed. not a good habit. Saw one a week or so ago strolling down Tudor Rd.  

I need to do more packing. I've done so many trips over the years that I generally can toss stuff together fast. Texted Bill at the glacier. Haven't heard from him. may have to just call. Always love to stop there at the Matanuska Glacier to let the dogs play in the kettle ponds.

Lots of lawn mowing. Things grow crazy fast up here in the summers. I have many lazy feeling days, but I do get walks in. Try to head to different trails. Yesterday I headed to Powerline to explore the flowers.  Last month I checked out Barbara Falls in Eagle River and Thunderbird Falls. I kept hearing about Barbara falls but I finally located it and went to see it. will have to add it to the list of good spots.

Went to Potters Marsh yesterday as well. There is a pair of Sandhill Cranes that have a little baby there, called a colt. I did get lucky and caught a glimpse of it. Will have to look on the big camera. The swans also have 4 babies, called cygnets.

Rainbow with my flowers in boots. So cute.

The dogs do not actually care where we go.  Often we just go to Campbell Airstrip or the dog park at University Lake.  As long as we get out walking, I feel good. It's easy to get lazy. In the summer, friends tend to scatter. It can feel a bit lonely. Be lonely and do it anyway. feel uncomfortable and do it anyway.

You do get more used to not being invited, never fully used to it though. Feelings still get hurt at times. That is the trade off. In general, I'd say single life has worked out well for me. I suspect there are far more people who are surrounded by people who they feel lonely around. Having a spouse and/or kids is no guarantee that you won't feel lonely. 

As a kid i was surrounded by people and felt so alone. Its worse to feel overlooked. 

Sweet Amora.  

She got pretty thin and weak. It was getting tough for her to feed these little guys. So happy we were able to get her feeling better.

I turned 62 in May. There were no plans made, no cake. My Birthday often falls on/near the Memorial Day holiday so over the years it's eclipsed. Better this than Christmas, I'm sure, though. Spoke with people who called. It's just a strange thing, Birthdays. I have no idea how to deal with attention directed at me. Never really learned to embrace that. It just felt abnormal. A Birthday feels like some obligation. 

You really do want to be noticed, to get that attention, but you have no clue how to enjoy it. It just feels awkward. 

A few are starting to talk of planning vacations here next year. Until tickets are bought, I generally wait a bit. Alaska is one of those places people speak of going to, but when it gets closer, there are things that prevent it. We get enough patients in to see that health is not always a hindrance to travel plans. Come die in Alaska. It happens. You may as well leave the planet doing your dream trip rather than leaving it wishing you had tried to take that dream trip.

Everything is green. Missing my kitten time already. They tried, I think, but I have little trips planned in the summer. It was never my intention to give those up for kitten care. You have to set boundaries for yourself in life. All aspects. I really appreciate that the shelter doesn't try to guilt me into skipping trips. They have tried to work with me. 

Look at these sweet faces! 

They change so quickly; it's so fun to watch their skills improve. 

here is Clubbies hitting 1 pound. 

my cat is well over 1 pound. 

kittens are the best!

Work the next 3 weekends to get that Homer trip in. A bit of driving.  The roads seem to have been especially dangerous this summer. be careful out there.

Clubbies had extra toes. 

Saw this mom with her calf near Kincaid

In other news, the Element has moved to a new home. As much as I loved the car, it deserved to be given the love it needed. I'm not wealthy enough to keep up on the maintenance an old car needs, nor am I capable of doing the work myself. She is getting spruced up. It just didn't make sense to have her anymore. I think I understand my Dad selling his 1964 1/2 Ford Mustang more now. Probably in the same boat. How it works for me is you are either making a car payment, or you are spending money repairing an older car. I'd rather have a newer car that I can depend on. 

She was a great car and I hope she makes her new humans happy.

Chappo, really got into his feeds. 

Tamarama, Bondii and Clubbies.

i'm sure i missed stuff. that is the latest catch up.  grateful for A. these fast summers and all the changes week to week. B. another successful litter C. another fun trip coming up. i better run prep!
 

grey collar worker

As it's nurses' week, I was thinking about how nurses aren't totally blue-collar workers but also not white-collar workers. That seems to put us in the category of grey-collar workers. Has anyone coined that phrase before?

We are expected to act like professionals but aren't necessarily treated as such. We clock in/out like fast food workers. I suppose many workers are in this no man's land.

I worked ER for my last stretch. still have avoided most of the CSU/ICU. much less stress that way. I suspect I just lost my edge at some point. Cutting back hours and working the float pool means I'm just not really there enough to stay confident. These photos are a combo of Hatcher's Pass, Gold Cord Lake hike and Gustavus trip. 

to catch up a bit from the last post. I did get called in for Jury duty. This keyboard bites. very sticky keys. sorry. Anyway, Jury Duty was a one-day affair as it turned out. went into the courtroom with a group, but they sent most of us away after much questioning. People, as a rule, have little patience for alcoholism. 

kittens. I recently finished up with another litter. Well, actually two litters and two moms. Very fun having them all here. The moms were so sweet and perfect. The kittens were a variety of colors. so cute. some extra toed kittens, orange, Siamese, grey and white, tab and white, two black and whites, and a calico and dilute calico. They were all brought in together. The moms were working together on the kittens. No clue which kitten went to whom; however, one mom did have extra toes, and two kittens did as well.

It was a bit messy with that many cats, but so fun.  They eventually met weight and headed back to the shelter. They are all in new homes.  Thankful to my friend GT and her daughter, as they sent a friend over to look at kittens. they eventually adopted two of them.  i met them at the shelter so they could directly adopt them. the other kittens took a few more days to find home. i returned and played with them as they looked scared.  i left toys in their cages and one on top of the cage to encourage potential adopters to interact and see how cute they were.

Did an overnight trip to a public use cabin with friends in April. Bore Tide Cabin.  It's in the Bird Creek Campground. close to Anchorage, great first trip out.  The weather not bad out that day. We still have not gotten over 60 degrees F., probably not over 60 since last September. We had a lovely cold winter.  

Also, found the conditions at Portage optimal and ended up grabbing a friend and heading out there. We take precautions, and I had brought two pairs of these spike things to help with self-rescue if that were to happen. The conditions were actually the best I've ever hiked out to the glacier in. I'm sure they deteriorated pretty quickly. Lakes still have ice now, but nothing stable, and the edges are open, so it feels safer with the dogs.

I did make the trek to Homer.  I stopped a lot. The weather was varied. roads good though, rain, snow, hail, but mostly wind. The tides were low, but the pools were murky. got pelted by hail and then the schools bused in loads of kids. I eventually just booked to the spit and tried to find stuff there. less wind on the one side. Not my best tide pooling, but still loved chilling in Homer and enjoying some beach time and beautiful sunsets. The drive to/from is always beautiful. did see a big grizzly on the river's edge near Coopers Landing.

We also made our next trip out to Tonsina Public Use Cabin. We caught a short water taxi out and back.  It was supposed to rain the entire time we were there, but we did get some beautiful breaks and sunshine at times. The tides also went out further than I expected so that was great for walking.

No bear sightings, but I did have a coyote run across the road on the drive home. saw a bear and her cub crossing the road a few miles from here, up Campbell Airstrip Road. I've chilled mostly at the dog park these past weeks. weather wet. Spring is a bit slow to arrive this year. Today was beautiful this morning. felt like a bit of spring.  

Below is where we stayed the first night in Gustavus.  cute little cabins

When friends leave Alaska, I get their old rain boots. I turn them into planters. So my friend AR is leaving, so I got her old Xtra Tuffs. off to Lowes to get some stuff to start some flowers. I bought a few plants just to get some boots planted. They always look so cute.

Another friend is also leaving. SJ worked with me in Ketchikan back in the '90s and then again here at Providence. The last several years, he's lived in Hawaii and flown back to AK monthly to work a stretch. We met up almost every month he worked up here for dinner. We have also done several kayak trips and other adventures with friends over the years.  All the best to him and his wife as they move towards total retirement. an amazing friend and mentor. He was like a big brother. My other friend is also loved and will be missed. I need to find a new board member to replace her, won't be easy.

She and her family are moving to Florida. 

so a bit of a sad week, losing two of my Alaskan friends.

inside the Gustavus cabin.

loads of huge bear breads or shelf fungi in Gustavus.  southeast. i do still want to plan a trip to Yakutat. will want to find a time in August maybe to enjoy mushroom time and a lower tide to enjoy that as well.

it was a treat to be in Gustavus in late August.  

whale skeleton

The only thing I have planned at this time is another run to Homer. may repeat that in August. enjoy low tides and wild flowers.  We shall see where the gas prices go. The idiots in our government! feels so hopeless at times. So many are still blindly following. clueless as to what is real and what is a crazy conspiracy. I had a co-worker the other day who, out of nowhere, started talking about Obama being in prison and that she hopes he gets the firing squad. I was working on the computer, not talking to her at all. So random and weird, this is what we are dealing with. people who aren't connected to reality at all. She's a nurse too! omg!I just walked away. crazy.

I did attend the "no kings" rally #3, so that is 2/3 for me, plus the two rallies while Putin was in town. Until we can get these idiots out of power, they are doing nothing but anything the orange idiot requests of them. He's so clearly incompetent and a havoc to the entire globe, but here we are. I'm the terrorist, though, because I am against fascism. It's hard to even believe how quickly this nation has been destroyed.  checks and balances only work if there are people in power who respect checks and balances. instead we have lunatic christian nationalists. the racism of the days of slavery were never vanquished and here we are, fighting old battles.

We had our Walrus Advocates of Round Island Sanctuary (WARIS) event. Not a packed house, but several folks came, and great support from REI and Fish and Game. I made the walrus cupcakes.

My life is settled and calmer. I've pulled back from family and pulled myself out of a group text. It wasn't bringing me peace. It's all about peace now to me. The one brother just seems to insert himself in there more than I am willing to accept. It's nothing offensive, just I have no interest in having him have that access to me. I do not need to know these details. 

The current politics is a factor as well.  It's really difficult to separate the things.  Most of them support this administration and what they are doing. I find what they are doing abhorrent. I really just can't look the other way as others support this or remain silent about it all. There are just too many attempts to cover up the pedophile reports, and too many distraction attempts.  Horrible things are happening in our names, and I will not stay silent or associate with those who support it. You have to draw a line in the sand. You can't just go around making sure people feel safe and comfortable in their views, especially when their views and those they support are causing death and suffering.

let the chips fall, so be it, right?

In the meantime, you do have to try to live as normally and peacefully as you can. You cannot allow these idiots to destroy every aspect of life.

barnacles and muscles. 

a life well lived is finding balance. 

I'm much more comfortable being me. I pay more attention to who wants to be in my life and how much they want to be in my life. People have other things happening in their lives. It's not always a personal affront. It is what it is. 

I also spend less time stressing about what is happening.  I can only do what I can do. At some point, things will find their way back to a new normal. What that new normal is, well, I'm hopeful it will be better than the old normal. better for more people. I feel like this is the last hurrah for these white supremacist, Christian nationalist fools. How many thousands of years can they keep predicting the return of Jesus?  thinking they will somehow rise to heaven while they joyously watch the suffering and death of others without repercussions? 

all they are really doing is destroying the religion they claim to follow. making a fool of the teachings of the man they claim to follow. they are behaving like cult members. not sure how we deprogram so many people? the fix has to come from the right in many ways.  they have to find shame and remorse. will they? 

The orange idiot has only moved me further and further away from Christianity.  Most of these churches feel like corporations that are just as greedy as the other corporations are. They probably help even fewer people in many cases, especially the evangelicals. 

It's all been exposed as a fraud. The child molesters seem to be predominantly born of this faith. Strange sexuality lurks in religions that force a certain life on everyone without any ability to bend. It just leads to secrecy and depravity.

I write less because I have less need to write. peace does that. I feel good in the place I am at. The boundaries I have set. 

Find your peace, find your people. Do what makes you happy. Speak out, do not give those who support this peace in that support. make sure they feel it. 

get out in nature. 

beautiful views from the plane.

this glacier looks like a whale tail.

Better crash. Maybe tomorrow will be another spring-like day. snowed on the Kenai this last weekend. 

grateful for A. all the stress and difficulties that moved me to where i am. it's not been easy, change rarely is, but i'm so happy to be on this side of history. B. the peace i have in my life. C. the friends and pets who lift me up and nature.