grey collar worker

As it's nurses' week, I was thinking about how nurses aren't totally blue-collar workers but also not white-collar workers. That seems to put us in the category of grey-collar workers. Has anyone coined that phrase before?

We are expected to act like professionals but aren't necessarily treated as such. We clock in/out like fast food workers. I suppose many workers are in this no man's land.

I worked ER for my last stretch. still have avoided most of the CSU/ICU. much less stress that way. I suspect I just lost my edge at some point. Cutting back hours and working the float pool means I'm just not really there enough to stay confident. These photos are a combo of Hatcher's Pass, Gold Cord Lake hike and Gustavus trip. 

to catch up a bit from the last post. I did get called in for Jury duty. This keyboard bites. very sticky keys. sorry. Anyway, Jury Duty was a one-day affair as it turned out. went into the courtroom with a group, but they sent most of us away after much questioning. People, as a rule, have little patience for alcoholism. 

kittens. I recently finished up with another litter. Well, actually two litters and two moms. Very fun having them all here. The moms were so sweet and perfect. The kittens were a variety of colors. so cute. some extra toed kittens, orange, Siamese, grey and white, tab and white, two black and whites, and a calico and dilute calico. They were all brought in together. The moms were working together on the kittens. No clue which kitten went to whom; however, one mom did have extra toes, and two kittens did as well.

It was a bit messy with that many cats, but so fun.  They eventually met weight and headed back to the shelter. They are all in new homes.  Thankful to my friend GT and her daughter, as they sent a friend over to look at kittens. they eventually adopted two of them.  i met them at the shelter so they could directly adopt them. the other kittens took a few more days to find home. i returned and played with them as they looked scared.  i left toys in their cages and one on top of the cage to encourage potential adopters to interact and see how cute they were.

Did an overnight trip to a public use cabin with friends in April. Bore Tide Cabin.  It's in the Bird Creek Campground. close to Anchorage, great first trip out.  The weather not bad out that day. We still have not gotten over 60 degrees F., probably not over 60 since last September. We had a lovely cold winter.  

Also, found the conditions at Portage optimal and ended up grabbing a friend and heading out there. We take precautions, and I had brought two pairs of these spike things to help with self-rescue if that were to happen. The conditions were actually the best I've ever hiked out to the glacier in. I'm sure they deteriorated pretty quickly. Lakes still have ice now, but nothing stable, and the edges are open, so it feels safer with the dogs.

I did make the trek to Homer.  I stopped a lot. The weather was varied. roads good though, rain, snow, hail, but mostly wind. The tides were low, but the pools were murky. got pelted by hail and then the schools bused in loads of kids. I eventually just booked to the spit and tried to find stuff there. less wind on the one side. Not my best tide pooling, but still loved chilling in Homer and enjoying some beach time and beautiful sunsets. The drive to/from is always beautiful. did see a big grizzly on the river's edge near Coopers Landing.

We also made our next trip out to Tonsina Public Use Cabin. We caught a short water taxi out and back.  It was supposed to rain the entire time we were there, but we did get some beautiful breaks and sunshine at times. The tides also went out further than I expected so that was great for walking.

No bear sightings, but I did have a coyote run across the road on the drive home. saw a bear and her cub crossing the road a few miles from here, up Campbell Airstrip Road. I've chilled mostly at the dog park these past weeks. weather wet. Spring is a bit slow to arrive this year. Today was beautiful this morning. felt like a bit of spring.  

Below is where we stayed the first night in Gustavus.  cute little cabins

When friends leave Alaska, I get their old rain boots. I turn them into planters. So my friend AR is leaving, so I got her old Xtra Tuffs. off to Lowes to get some stuff to start some flowers. I bought a few plants just to get some boots planted. They always look so cute.

Another friend is also leaving. SJ worked with me in Ketchikan back in the '90s and then again here at Providence. The last several years, he's lived in Hawaii and flown back to AK monthly to work a stretch. We met up almost every month he worked up here for dinner. We have also done several kayak trips and other adventures with friends over the years.  All the best to him and his wife as they move towards total retirement. an amazing friend and mentor. He was like a big brother. My other friend is also loved and will be missed. I need to find a new board member to replace her, won't be easy.

She and her family are moving to Florida. 

so a bit of a sad week, losing two of my Alaskan friends.

inside the Gustavus cabin.

loads of huge bear breads or shelf fungi in Gustavus.  southeast. i do still want to plan a trip to Yakutat. will want to find a time in August maybe to enjoy mushroom time and a lower tide to enjoy that as well.

it was a treat to be in Gustavus in late August.  

whale skeleton

The only thing I have planned at this time is another run to Homer. may repeat that in August. enjoy low tides and wild flowers.  We shall see where the gas prices go. The idiots in our government! feels so hopeless at times. So many are still blindly following. clueless as to what is real and what is a crazy conspiracy. I had a co-worker the other day who, out of nowhere, started talking about Obama being in prison and that she hopes he gets the firing squad. I was working on the computer, not talking to her at all. So random and weird, this is what we are dealing with. people who aren't connected to reality at all. She's a nurse too! omg!I just walked away. crazy.

I did attend the "no kings" rally #3, so that is 2/3 for me, plus the two rallies while Putin was in town. Until we can get these idiots out of power, they are doing nothing but anything the orange idiot requests of them. He's so clearly incompetent and a havoc to the entire globe, but here we are. I'm the terrorist, though, because I am against fascism. It's hard to even believe how quickly this nation has been destroyed.  checks and balances only work if there are people in power who respect checks and balances. instead we have lunatic christian nationalists. the racism of the days of slavery were never vanquished and here we are, fighting old battles.

We had our Walrus Advocates of Round Island Sanctuary (WARIS) event. Not a packed house, but several folks came, and great support from REI and Fish and Game. I made the walrus cupcakes.

My life is settled and calmer. I've pulled back from family and pulled myself out of a group text. It wasn't bringing me peace. It's all about peace now to me. The one brother just seems to insert himself in there more than I am willing to accept. It's nothing offensive, just I have no interest in having him have that access to me. I do not need to know these details. 

The current politics is a factor as well.  It's really difficult to separate the things.  Most of them support this administration and what they are doing. I find what they are doing abhorrent. I really just can't look the other way as others support this or remain silent about it all. There are just too many attempts to cover up the pedophile reports, and too many distraction attempts.  Horrible things are happening in our names, and I will not stay silent or associate with those who support it. You have to draw a line in the sand. You can't just go around making sure people feel safe and comfortable in their views, especially when their views and those they support are causing death and suffering.

let the chips fall, so be it, right?

In the meantime, you do have to try to live as normally and peacefully as you can. You cannot allow these idiots to destroy every aspect of life.

barnacles and muscles. 

a life well lived is finding balance. 

I'm much more comfortable being me. I pay more attention to who wants to be in my life and how much they want to be in my life. People have other things happening in their lives. It's not always a personal affront. It is what it is. 

I also spend less time stressing about what is happening.  I can only do what I can do. At some point, things will find their way back to a new normal. What that new normal is, well, I'm hopeful it will be better than the old normal. better for more people. I feel like this is the last hurrah for these white supremacist, Christian nationalist fools. How many thousands of years can they keep predicting the return of Jesus?  thinking they will somehow rise to heaven while they joyously watch the suffering and death of others without repercussions? 

all they are really doing is destroying the religion they claim to follow. making a fool of the teachings of the man they claim to follow. they are behaving like cult members. not sure how we deprogram so many people? the fix has to come from the right in many ways.  they have to find shame and remorse. will they? 

The orange idiot has only moved me further and further away from Christianity.  Most of these churches feel like corporations that are just as greedy as the other corporations are. They probably help even fewer people in many cases, especially the evangelicals. 

It's all been exposed as a fraud. The child molesters seem to be predominantly born of this faith. Strange sexuality lurks in religions that force a certain life on everyone without any ability to bend. It just leads to secrecy and depravity.

I write less because I have less need to write. peace does that. I feel good in the place I am at. The boundaries I have set. 

Find your peace, find your people. Do what makes you happy. Speak out, do not give those who support this peace in that support. make sure they feel it. 

get out in nature. 

beautiful views from the plane.

this glacier looks like a whale tail.

Better crash. Maybe tomorrow will be another spring-like day. snowed on the Kenai this last weekend. 

grateful for A. all the stress and difficulties that moved me to where i am. it's not been easy, change rarely is, but i'm so happy to be on this side of history. B. the peace i have in my life. C. the friends and pets who lift me up and nature.
 

nearly a month and the hell continues

 

These are a mixture from late summer/fall. a trip to Glacier Bay/Gustavus. rain forest. forest covered in green. 

a beautiful new clan house. 

mushrooms,of course. That is fall. i enjoy all of it. angers me that the idiots in charge of our nation have now started a global war. We were all raised with sympathy for Israel. Sadly, their leadership has opted to take advantage of the decades of sympathy/empathy and instead have gathered money and support from leadership in this country and others, I suppose. Most of those in our Congress have taken money from them and now seem to be beholden to them. They finally found an idiot willing to charge into Iran. Their first acts were to kill the person in power in Iran (apparently no loss), but they also bombed a girls school. Over 150 young girls and teachers are dead. We are the terrorists, it turns out. 

The idiots in charge are, in many cases, Christian Nationalists.  They are attempting to usher in a holy war, to, I guess, convince Jesus to return. It's been over 2000 years, and still no return. ridiculousness, really, but here we are. They had a meeting with the military, where they claimed the pedophile at the top was anointed by God. Wish people would wake up to the absurdity of it all. Again, here we are, though. 

saw a comedian on TikTok. he was joking that if Jesus had returned, he's already locked up in a psych ward. That is a common psych issue, people claiming to be God or Jesus or some other religious figure. We had a patient the other week screaming that she was God. It's very common. In truth, any God I read about in the scriptures would not respond well to all these fools thinking they are going to get lifted to heaven to sit and watch people like me suffer and burn up. like some sort of entertainment. Quite frankly, that desire would, itself, be disqualifying for entry to heaven, I think. 

I keep doing my life and trying to distance myself from the hell of the news. a balance of staying somewhat informed without making anxiety soar. longer days and a nice snow pack have made for great walking these past weeks. ice hearts start to melt a bit in the long days, so I think those are done.

I enjoyed some of the Fur Rondy events. hit the native craft fair, the snow sculptures, and watched some of the dog sled sprint races. 

This past weekend I got up to see the ceremonial start of the Iditarod in town.  It was a heavy snow, but always magical. The winner is not in Nome yet. usually around next Tuesday. The same guy is in the lead as last year at the moment. His name is Jessie Holmes. He's on a reality TV show, I think. Close behind is Paige Drobny. i really hope she catches him.  we are long overdue for a woman to win.

3 women in top ten at the moment.

Some of these are walks around Anchorage, and others are from Gustavus.

The Iditarod added a wealthy white guy class, called the Expedition class. They pay a bunch of money to run the Iditarod non-competitively. They are not allowed to win the race and travel with a guide, a vet and crew. They are clamping and are fed, all on their dime. They can trade out dogs for fresh legs. They have their own planes out there. I was confused when I saw Jeff King at the Ceremonial start with a team. He's a guide, though.  They are taking their time. more like a party event, it seems it was when it started. That would be the way to do the thing for a wimp like me. More have climbed Everest than run the Iditarod, so, of course, it is a thing to do. They get a finisher's belt buckle. can't interfere with the actual race. Their cash flow increased the payout for the winner, and I believe, decreased the entry fee. One gave hundreds of thousands. So good for the overall run to Nome. They have lost sponsorship, and PETA has been on a mission.

The back of the pack has one of my favorites this year. I believe Jody Potts-Joseph is the first native female to run the Iditarod. She lives in Eagle, outside of Chicken. has 5 kids i think. Her one daughter rode the back sled going through Anchorage. She is a model, beautiful woman. The dogs were all decked out in handmade native coats. quite the sight.

I suppose I could have put Iditarod pictures in here. Sorry. 

Work continues. Hard to really think about retirement when the pedophile and pedophile protectors start wars. haven't looked at the retirement account. It will be depressing to watch all my money slip away. all because of this idiot and the absolute fools who triple trumped. 

I am managing my 2 shifts a week better. I believe they are trying to not put me in ICU/CSU. I have been getting my hours. peds, pcu, picu, holds ER and straight ER. Also, a few sitter gigs in there. Nobody ever gave me a minimum number of units I had to have listed. Nobody ever offered to cross-train me anywhere new. So for the moment, I'm just putting my head down and seeing how long I last and how long they last with me working less units.

For sure, the stress levels are down, not going to those more critical units. I walk away knowing I'm still capable but just done with it. Continue to peek to see if there is another job out there. Currently, I have a lot of control over my schedule and work the 2 shifts/week. Not sure I would get that anywhere else. Better the hell I know. I do not think I will last here until I turn 65. I do know I could figure it out if needed. I could book, take retirement. 

dinner/coffee/walks with friends over the past month. Also, a few hockey games. always fun. Our annual trip to Manitoba yurts was a bit of a bust. The road conditions were very questionable. ended up too stressful for me to risk it. we do have our Tonsina trip at the end of April. I'll have to look at a water taxi for us. I also booked a hotel for Homer in April for a low tide. 

I'm up for Jury duty at the end of March. Oh boy! My number is 10 so I suspect I will be called up. 

No new litters of kittens yet.  It's been a bit. Part of me fears I'm getting a reputation for being a kitten killer, and they don't want to risk kittens on me. Of course, we are always harder on ourselves than others are on us. I do want to try to make a little tip sheet for potential kitten fosters. My sweet friend N, mentioned that I wasn't given the tools, and I did the best I could. Better to see if I can give some tools to the future fosters. It would have been helpful. 

It is a strange balance.  Some people have kitten incubators, tube feed and give SQ fluids. I'm not sure how much is really expected of the average foster. My guess is that the Shelter is just grateful to have any foster that is willing to try their best. 

I do add equipment and skills. Just thought a list of basics may help the next fosters have a better chance of not suffering from the losses I have. I need to remind myself to focus on all the successes I've had. Kittens that are now in homes. have been reading a book written by a person who basically does this professionally at this point. She is currently, tube feeding a kitten with a cleft palate and did a lot of extra work on a hairless kitten that happened in a litter. that kitten eventually was euthanized over making it suffer more.

As a vet friend says, there isn't a shortage of kittens. I tend to believe it may be best to focus on kittens with the best chance of survival. people do love an underdog (or underkitten?). 

these are back in Gustavus.  I was excited to see the mushrooms. I wasn't as crazy about them when I lived in Southeast. silly me. 

bills paid for the month. For sure, money is tighter only working 2 shifts/week. Mentally, it was needed.

Little Abbyloni. She was the sole survivor in this litter. was able to get her and her mom to the shelter to find new homes. The mom was pretty anxious. Sometimes I feel like helping these Moms is the bigger deal. The mom was matted and hissed at me a bit.  takes extra care to help them see humans as possibilities. Care and lots of treats. 

Such a cutie.  I had two older litters without Moms to fatten up after this group. The tuxedo litter (or big bang) and then a litter around the holidays. suffered my worst loss on that one. I should have pushed harder sooner. lost sweet Poppers. 

Mentally, I think it was healthy that I could cry over these losses. Working in healthcare for decades, you tend to hold in that pain, and eventually it's internalized. You don't always deal with the losses. You just move on to the next thing. Years of this have probably negatively impacted me. 

So, being able to actually cry over these kitten losses was healthy. 

Missed the window on doing the Portage Lake walk. It was frozen, but not a walk to do alone. It was still frozen when I was out there the other week. big chunks of ice on the edges. uneven. suspect there was thin ice in bits. windy as well. Not worth the risk, though I did see a few folks out there.

This year was the longest I've seen that lake frozen.

Reading, playing games on my phone, I always find ways to stay entertained. My to-do list is always present. I get a few things checked off, but there is always more. Working less means fewer projects get completed. 

knowing our incompetent leaders may get us all killed any day means those projects feel less important. I live within 5 miles of a military base. They fire off a nuke, I'm zapped. Thank you, pedophile supporters.

Our paddle in Gustavus. always nice to be on the water. The only part that sucks is how much time you waste getting instructions.  For others, it's often their first paddle, though. I tend to just play dumb. If I'm asked directly, I will say how much experience I have. 

There were some cool mushrooms out there. Still would like to hit Chicken for fall, maybe Eagle. never been there. I'd also like to get to Yakutat. I have pondered many times a move to Canada. If I were younger, I would pull that trigger for sure.

I'm reminded of Chornobyl. There was a group of older women who refused to leave the area. They stayed and lived peacefully for decades. 

If you survive the blast, maybe you just live it out. 

This is the Fairweather range. only seen in fair weather, thus the name.

trails around the lodge

And trails back in Anchorage.

Another place I want to go is Yakutat. may just toss in a short trek there. I've only landed there on the way to other places.

We had perfect weather for a paddle that day. We just stayed in this bay.

Overall, the trip went well. I am grateful for my adventurous life. So many wait until they retire to do the fun stuff. i feel like i have been able to enjoy adventures throughout my life. 

Sadly, the worst people rise. Being power hungry and greedy can lead to some success. I doubt all that much happiness. added stresses. Having access to all that money is not always the blessing people believe it to be. It comes with added responsibilities. When you can just get what you want, i think some get bored. i mean, normal sex isn't enough, normal adventures not enough. They lose the ability to stop and smell the roses.  Paranoia kicks in. You can't always trust those around you.  They just want to get what they can from you. Most humans just would be happy with the basics, to not have debt weighing them down, to have a safe home, food. if you have loads of money, you better hope you have friends or family or both  who can keep you grounded and humble.

Suspect it just becomes competitive. so much access just causes it's own insanity. It's never enough. 

I've had more than many out there, fewer than many out there. Some of the happiest people out there are living simple lives. I've always believed we, as humans, haven't fully adapted to the new world we have created for ourselves. We were meant to spend the bulk of our time and energy seeking shelter, warmth, food, and water. Being without those tasks means we have to be in our heads more. We don't always do well when we free up our brains. Those who can't cope with the antics of a bored brain create havoc and chaos and wars. some cope by sharing their wealth. others prove they can't cope by destroying others lives in some hope of finding theirs.

grateful for A. winter, it really can be my favorite time of year. the peace, the silence. B. the balance in my life. C. though i often want more money, i'm happy i didn't have to live with some obscene amount of money. just seems way more stressful than it's worth.