winter has returned for the moment

 

it's snowing today and a little the last few days.  the good news is that the snow has now mostly bonded with the ice below making walking less scary. the dogs are good. did the airstrip yesterday and today just the dog park since I was meeting a Ketchikan friend for lunch. the dogs just want to get outside. they love their walks. I do miss them on occasion but not that often really.  their doggles arrived. we have a volcano that is predicted to blow ash in the next weeks to months. the ash can be like tiny shards of glass. hopefully, the wind is blowing away from Anchorage when Mt Spurr erupts. it's about 75 miles away. 

not cold enough to make ice hearts these days, yesterday I carried my heart shaped snowball maker though and put some little snow hearts out there. not as pretty. was at the dog park last week and someone recognized the dogs from posts with ice hearts on fb. one post went fairly viral. sadly, I had to leave the group and delete my posts since it appeared to be hacked. suddenly different names were showing up on a photo with Ivy and a heart. just my name was cut off. fb password changed as well. any hint of strangeness, change those passwords. 

sounds like Elonia and Krasnov have collected all our information and probably handed it over to Rus anyway. we are so far gone at this point. still fighting. according to the Simpsons they will all get theirs, sooner than later.  it's sad that we all grasp for whatever positive thing we can find. someone flipping coins or reading tarot cards...I'll take it. I need good news.  if someone were to, I'm not suggesting they do and I can't really condone it but if they did....wine would be drank and dancing would happen

my work run was ER and ICU. one patient, clearly right leaning started going off on science and scientists.  when he was at a lull in his rant, I just looked at him and said that everything in the hospital that was helping him was based on science and scientists. I then asked if there was anything else he needed and left the room. these folks are not always hateful people they are just stuck on a terrible track with no clue at times that they are the victims or horrible disinformation. still, enough real information has gotten to them that they have denied or called fake news that I don't believe they can ever really be let of the hook. you allow yourself to be taken down the path of a cult or of disinformation, because you want the truth to not be true and the lies to be truth. for many at the age they are it would be a massive devastation to discover they were fooled so easily and so completely.... what else in their lives might they have been fooled by. 

I started to work on a poem. I've always found poetry to be a great outlet.  felt it may be time to release the words again

you say you aren't racist, 

but you voted with the racists,

with the white supremacists, the KKK.

you say you are Christian, 

but you voted against the least of these,

voted against the poor and the needy.

you are a parent,

but you voted against education,

you voted against gun safety,

you voted against healthcare.

you say you love everyone,

but you voted against the immigrants,

the refugees, the lgbqt.

you say you support women,

but you voted against their rights,

their bodily autonomy,

their protection from violence.

you say you support freedom,

but you voted against free speech,

you voted against voter rights, 

you voted against religious freedom if it wasn't your religion.

you say you support veterans,

but you voted to gut their healthcare,

you voted them out of jobs.

you say you support officers,

but you voted to allow those who violently attacked officers go free,

you rooted for those who were violent on January 6. 

you claim to be against big government,

but you voted in a wanna be dictator, a king.

and now,

you remain silent as he destroys our laws, our freedoms and our government.

you are not who you claim to be, 

it's not possible.

that is a first draft, i guess. 

these are some of the hearts I left out there. 

this was a sunset downtown. I went to see the snow sculptures. dirtiest ones I've ever seen due to our low snow year. the artists used that to their advantage in some cases, I think. the dirty snow used in the design. 

I've booked a few Homer trips for April and May. nice low tides. one will come right after Tonsina. I'll just head there from Seward. 

even though the kittens all got homes as did the mom cat, I still stalk them, just in case they get returned. so far it looks good for them. you know I'd run down there and scoop them up if they returned. 

the Iditarod is still ongoing. less than 35 teams this year. I opted out of the long drive to Fairbanks. I'm sure I would have enjoyed the trip to Fairbanks, but it is a long drive. Jessie Holmes won this year. I admit I haven't followed it all as intensely as I have some years. the downtown excitement just isn't the same. less of the big names. I still suspect the admission of gps changed the sport. change can be good and safer for sure, but it also can change the spirit of the sport. it's just a different event now. in some ways less of a challenge because you can just push a rescue button. it's good, I get that but it's also a dramatic change from a person and their team in remote Alaska on their own. the risk is what added the excitement level and the stories.

it's still snowing but it's also still fairly light. love the longer days. summer is coming. we have our gathering planned at REI. need to try to find folks interested in coming. fill the room. the other night at work, it came up and my brain could not remember our new web page name. just went blank. walrusadvocates.org.  that is it. it was the wee hours after doing holds. one guy looked like he was going to deck me, life in the ER. he was soon put right with a drip that calmed his arse down.

hearing about people being detained at airports who have legal documentation. they are treated cruelty in an attempt to get them to give up their visa or green cards. a college student attended a rally in support of Palestine and was picked up. he is legal but being held and called a terrorist on faux news. they just twist everything and turn hateful on individuals in order to make it fit their bull

he tosses out so many orders and decrees. sadly, the ICE folks are showing signs of a willingness to take things to a scary level. seems to welcome those with racist tendencies more than other authority driven positions. are they our gestapo in the making? it's all about hate and cruelty. 

below is one of those dirty snow sculptures.

still getting used to this new computer and new keyboard.  sticky at times. haven't set up my printer and I haven't gone back to the old computer to download the files I thought were saved to the external drive. 

mentally, things are still tough at times.  I sleep longer than I should, linger in bed, slow to start my days. I plug along.  stuff eventually gets done. focus is not always clear.  there is just so much bad news coming at us all.  how do we keep up. it's what the plan is. to overwhelm us all into just relenting.  we can't do that though.  we must continue to fight, call them out. it's exhausting. sad that so many relationships are damaged and destroyed in the name of these idiots, but it's hard to talk about trivialities when you know people are being harmed and harassed. we have empathy. the right is actually trying to trash the concept of empathy.  they hate woke, they hate liberals, they hate education, they hate science, they hate, that is what they do but they can't even see that. 

anxiety can come randomly. I've found better ways to cope with it but it's still there. I speak less and less to those who I know support this buffoon. how can you respect this cruelty, even if they do not intend to be cruel or hateful, those they support do intend it and as long as they remain silent, they bear that responsibility. 

the dogs are amazing motivation. I know I need to get them outside and outside is very good for me. even if it's icy out there. fresh air is good. have to find positive distractions more and more to get through this. 

decided to watch an old Rom-Com last night. "two weeks notice". then Krasnov's name is mentioned, then he shows up in a cameo. he destroys everything.

not at all happy watching my retirement account decrease, nor am I happy hearing how badly these jerks want to destroy Medicare and social security just as I'm about to try to retire. 

some of the resistance is working. tesla is doing poorly, and the fragile egos do very poorly with criticism. they can dish it out but can't take it. the world is against krasnov and this entire mess.  they do seem to realize that many of us are trying and not in support of all this. we support Canada and Mexico and Greenland and Panama and Europe and Ukraine....the buffoon supports putin. that is what it all rolls up to be. putin owns him. we all know it but so far nobody has come out with the connections needed to roll him.

this strange, warm winter will be over soon. wonder if the flowers will bloom early this year. hoping we don't have fires this summer

as you can see from reading this, my brain is all over the place.  was doing so great until this fool was put back in power to destroy all our peace. jerks.

my sweet kittens will always be this small in my mind.  had a dream the other night. was at a beach I think and one by one the kittens came out of the woods to me and I scooped them all up. 

having a kind heart can be a difficult thing. preferred over what the alternative is. I'll take the pain that arises from having empathy over the coldness of these jerks. 

come on Simpsons, be right. 

grateful for: a. each day i survive and the moments i thrive. B. that all the kitties found homes.  hope they are being loved and spoiled. C. the fresh snow. the place looks so pretty covered in snow

to those who watch fox i am a lunatic i guess.

had a moment of clarity today.  to those who are followers of agent Krasnov I am for sure seen as nuts. they assume I am the conspiracy crack addict. my news sources are more global so I feel fairly certain that my facts are more factual. they live in such an information bubble that to them, this is just another presidency, nothing to see. all the felonies and accusations are all part of a witch hunt and he is just a victim of all of it. people in my family have told me I have rump derangement syndrome. I am the odd one so I'm sure they tell each other I'm just overreacting, emotional, crazy. best to avoid contact all together. it's too frustrating and it makes me angry really.  lives are being destroyed and they cheer it all on like he's doing all these good things for the nation

really, he's just handed it all over to Putin. Putin so clearly owns him. there was a news conference in the oval office, except not all Press was welcome, but Putins press core was. he and his vp berated Zelensky. now he wants to withhold weaponry and money. of course, many in my family no doubt believe that Zelensky is taking money and buying yachts. really, I felt it proved that many in the GOP, but especially agent Krasnov is owned by Putin. we are in a sinking ship at the moment. 

the congress GOP have ceded all power. the supreme court as well has been placed under his control. they already gave him absolute immunity and the next case will no doubt hand him the power to break any law he wants. it's easy to see looking back how we got here. the GOP had a plan, I suspect for some of the old guard this wasn't exactly the plan, handing things over to putin but greed and lust for power makes fools.

these are from an early spring trip to Homer last year. I have just booked a few treks during low tide. one will be added onto the Tonsina trip.  I'll do 2 nights with friends in Seward at Tonsina cabin then finish the drive down to Homer for a few nights. the low tides were neg 5.2 so hard to pass up. Also a trek for low tides around my Birthday. 

actually worked ICU the other night. haven't been there for a bit. also got a peds night and have been sitter quite a few times since coming back from surgery. 

went to the ceremonial start of the Iditarod on Saturday. we are already in spring so very little snow. I generally do not see this amount of lawn until late April/May, but here we are. they only went about 2 miles with the teams, not the usual 12 miles across town. not enough snow. the restart was today in Fairbanks. 

I pondered the drive north. the roads and weather would have made it a pretty safe and easy trek. I really wasn't up for the 7-8 hour drive. debated staying in Healy overnight Sunday and waking early to get there in time for the teams or see them in Nenana I guess. sounds like the warm weather impacted the restart up there as well. parts of the big river aren't as frozen. so perhaps for the best. 

I'm more anxious/depressed with our current political situation. in truth there isn't that much I can do.  minimal shopping, buy local. I need to make a call to fidelity and see if they have any advice.  fear losses on my retirement savings. I've started to make some searches into moving to the Yukon or BC, just get out of this failing nation. it is tempting. do I want to be here to witness them tearing up our parks. 

you don't want to overreact but you also don't want to wait until it's too late to make a move. people move all the time. with the pets the move lateral would be most realistic. how bad will this all get and for how long?  these are the things we can't magically know. I wake up hoping for breaking news and this is over. I doubt that will be the case. wishful thinking

the kittens have all found new homes. I hope the new homes are good. I have to assume they are for my sanity. it was so hard taking them in and I cried the whole way home.  who knew you could get so attached so quickly. they will always be the way they were the day I let them go. I had a dream and I was on a beach I think and soon one by one the kittens all came out to me and we were together again.  the mom cat, Sophia is still waiting for a new home.  I knew it would be hardest with her. she's sweet and I can tell from the notes and photos that the staff like her so hopefully soon she finds her new place. 

I think my cats are happy to have me back giving them attention again. 

the ice hearts are melting. just a few out there, falling out of trees at this point.  they did bring a lot of joy to many out there. fun to see sightings posted on bike and hiking groups on facebook and IG. only a few negatives, there are always those. leave no trace types...it's water and food coloring mostly but whatever. 

sadly, there are just a lot of unhappy miserable people out there who want to spread their hatred. 

this trans hate still baffles me. what do they want of these people. I ask the conservatives I know...but there really is not answer to this. I told one that even though they claim to not hate these people they do aid in making a larger target on these folks. giving permission for whatever hell the GOP wishes to bring upon them. mostly it seems a mission of cruelty. even if they claim to not hate these folks these laws are not coming from a place of love. 

they want these people off their radar.  they don't want to think of how that could happen. making them miserable, taking away treatments, taking away rights, taking away medicine, taking away suicide hotline access. it's coming from a place of hate. the only option seems to be to find Jesus and pretend they are not who they are.  

getting them out of the military, where we have spent money to train them to valuable positions with needed skills.  no foresight.  just like all these mass firings.  they do all of it with cruelty because that is the point.  cruelty. national park folks are told they are being fired because they have done a bad job despite them all having great reviews on record. cruelty to the regular people.they do not even take into account all the money brought in from these parks that more than balances these salaries paid. 

they are chopping off the lowest earners. all this to make more tax breaks for those who make the most money. it's not about efficiency, it's about hate. 

we will do our annual Round Island lecture at REI on March 27, it looks like. everything is okay for this year. it's a state run sanctuary. 

these photos are back to this year, February.  we did have a little bit of chilly temps before another warm up. 

I'm writing on the new computer and keyboard.  got to get used to it. I do like the spell checking again. 

here is Sophia attempting to reach the pets on the other side of the door

today we ended up at powerline pass. still packed snow to walk on so that was nice. a bit of wind the last few days. yesterday we hit the dunes and oceanview bluff park. that was walking on a few inches of water over the ice so that is probably the last time i can go there.

Sunny and I have been taking a basic obedience class. refresher, but also he just didn't get the best training I suspect since it was covid and i was anxious and i was also distressed over Tuskers loss 

he's super smart but for sure needs some extra reminders. he has chased a few moose this winter and he likes to bark. he also needs to tone down his play activities. he likes to nip other pups butts and this is not always appreciated. he's just trying to spur them on to play. every dog has it's things. just will try to tweak a bit.  he's a really great pup though. 

Ivy Rose is also amazing. she just turned 9. can't believe she is 9. still chasing that tennis ball. not as much. mostly she carries it.  for her Birthday I got the indoor dog pool. omg she was so excited. I did notice she gets tired easier now than she used to. 

the week before we did an overnight camping trek to Manitoba cabin with friends.  roads and weather were  great so it was a fun escape. 

this is Halfie and Squeaker

Monty at Manitoba yurt. 

best to try and find ways to relax and enjoy life despite the mayhem happening. eventually, it will get sorted out. just hoping not much irreversible damage occurs. 

agent Krasnov has very quickly turned against our allies and aligned himself and sadly the entire nation with his dictator buddies. those things will take decades to repair.

some of these are out at Manitoba. 

some are just the ice hearts that were put out. 

the kittens were a great distraction as were the ice hearts. both are gone now though. will have to find other distractions.  cleaning the house thoroughly would be a good plan. it needs it. I did go out in yard, which is already mostly free of ice/snow and picked up a large section of dog poop. I get stuff done, just not at the speed I should be getting it all done. 

you try to put positive out there but we all put negative out as well at times. easier to just avoid contacts than piss them off, especially since they all believe I'm the crazy one anyway. I'm never going to change their views because they are never going to get out of the bubble they happily live in.  sadly, their bubble is causing harm and death to others really...or will as agent Krasnov cares very little for them or for any of the citizens.  kind of ironic. Krasnov answers and adores Putin like his followers adore him and Putin could care less about Krasnov except how he can help him in the moment just like Krasnov cares not for his followers except how they can help him. those are weak relationships built of mutual hatred and fear. 

a few more hearts. I got quite a few out there before the melt happened, twice. others were putting them out as well so I enjoyed that too.  

we all need those reminders that there are more good folks than bad folks. mostly, it's a lot of folks who don't pay any attention or who are only paying attention to the wrong sources.  I really believed things were more protected in this nation. that our laws and norms would protect us. none of that works if those in positions of power cede their roles. it also doesn't help if a person who isn't elected and is extremely wealthy is given full power to fire and move money where he wants.... even into his own pocket. 

I say less here because I'm not sure if it helps or hinders the stress levels. still good to get it out of my brain somehow I guess.

thankful for A. the time I had with the kittens and Sophia. kitten therapy is real and beneficial. B. the ice hearts. it was a joy to leave them out there on the trails and to hear how they were enjoyed by so many C. the people who are willing to step up and fight the fight. it's not over and will never be over, not if we the people have anything to say about it