hit by a truck twice this week....

 the first truck that hit me was lodged at me by a toddler.  it was a toy truck...believe me, toddlers are not overly appreciative of nurses attempting to help them feel better.  the toddler above very much appreciated my friend, Vals, entertainment.  of course, she had the advantage of having no needles or medicine on her.  this was in Barrow. 

 the second truck that hit me was when i was called in to the report room during my shift.  they had called a few of us in...i didn't know if i was in trouble of what....that is how unusual it is.  i had started with a triple and was getting patients out and planning on getting patients in.  i had a lot to do, but it all stopped.  they let MW and i know that our dear friend Val had passed away. 

 Val was tough to get out of her house unless it was for work, which she did more than her share of in her too short life.  makes me even happier that we all took the extra effort to get her out on a few fun adventures. our lives were much more full and entertaining because she joined us. 

 these are on another trek to Hallo Bay, Bear viewing. 

 i don't think life was always very easy for Val.  she didn't really dwell on that, especially on these trips. i was happy to get her out and away from the stress of day to day life.  she was so in her element on these trips.  relaxed and mesmerized by all that was before her.  fascinated by every detail of life on our amazing planet. 

 we had some really fun treks out there.  it always occurs to me at these times that so often in life the things we do are not for us so much but for those around us.  she needed those trips. 

 these pics are leaving Togiak after my last trip to Round Island. 

 worked with Val for years.  she had some great tales and kept us laughing.  she loved to feed her co-workers and when she was in charge the plans were ever evolving.  she would start with plan A for staffing the next shift and some nights with all that went on she would go from plan A to plan M before the morning came. 

 no matter what she was dealing with in her own life she always brought her all to work and to her patients and co-workers.  you didn't hear her complain, she was going to find the way to make it all work.  where much is given, much is expected...but often in life it's those who have been given less that show us all what it means to share, to give all you have to others with little regard for self.

 Val had her quirks.  not returning calls or texts in a timely fashion was one of them  being disorganized was another.  so when she didn't show up to work, we worried but i wasn't that worried.  she'd screwed up her schedule before.  my last text to her was "everything okay? hoping u just forgot u were scheduled for work, please check in with someone".  i was getting a few concerned texts/calls. 

 in the end everything wasn't okay.  work ended up sending the officers out for a welfare check . she was gone.  she was pet sitting for another co-worker.  those dogs were taken to the shelter.  i stopped by the shelter today to check on the dogs.  all is fine and they did get a hold of the pups owner.  i just messaged with her, hopefully she can enjoy the rest of her vacation.  her friend is coming to take care of her dogs. 

 so we just assume that she went in her sleep.  at least i will...that is the best way to think of the situation.  sad though. 

 i'm not always the public crier.  when they told me, i really just felt like i was in shock or stunned by the information.  they watched my patients and i opted to just take a walk around.  clear my head a bit. it was tough to focus the rest of the night. got through it with a little help from my friends. one less friend on earth i guess.  one more friend in the great beyond.

 at the shelter today as i was trying to ask about the dogs, i welled up.  i tend to cry at somewhat random, less related moments.  the crew at the shelter were nice.  i'm sure they deal with tears fairly regularly there.

 really appreciated the management team for coming in and taking the time to try to inform those close to her before the information got out all over.  she worked as one of our PEAT nurses, which meant she went all over the hospital helping staff and trying to prevent patients from getting sicker.  a loss like this impacts all the staff really.  in general nurses are good folks. i am grateful i fell into working as a nurse.  it has made me a better person by association with all these wonderful people. 

 Val could make me nuts on these trips sometimes.  she was forever losing things...seemingly important things...and me being kind of the opposite when it comes to trips i just had to step out of the vortex, knowing she would eventually locate whatever object it was.  in many ways she reminded me of the best of my mom.  the laughter, the kindness, the always thinking of others before self...and the disorganization. 

 Round Island...from the plane

 i had ER, ER Holds and then ICU this week.  i work again Sunday night and then i have classes all week. 

 when someone you know passes it does remind you of your own mortality.  we do have a limited time here.  some stuff just doesn't matter in the big picture of your life. 

 just some waves of sadness.  another friend headed to heaven.  this friend will no doubt be heard coming as she laughs and laughs. 

 life goes on here.  dogs to be fed and walked.  just hit the dog park the last few days.  ran into my newer neighbor at the dog park.  we hadn't talked much.  she was relaxed and we were able to chat. the dogs all got along and when i got home they played again in the front yard. new canine buddies, good to have them all get along. 

 there was a package from my sister.  she sent me a skeleton bat for my front deck collection of skeletons.  my brother, Tom, may admonish her for encouraging me, haha. 

 these are a few from our Round Island trip.  Val came on that as well.  she also joined a group of us out at Point Adolphus...where else have we all gone? 

 loads of fun memories. those we carry with us always. 

 hoping her daughter can find her inner Val.  it's in there, that strength.  you just have to reach for it.  no doubt Val will be watching over her kids from heaven now.  i'm big on guardian angels.  we all need all the help we can get. 

 we are waiting for the boats, doing a walrus dance on the platform.  silly was something Val was good at.  she was free to be who she was.  no pretending, no games. 

 the tusks come out down here.

 travel in peace to the great beyond.  sprinkle a little fairy dust on us all so we will shine and smile and laugh in even the darkest hours.  our lives were made more full and more happy because you were in them. 

 Val taking the zodiak home....

grateful for:  A.  great friends, lost but never forgotten  B. memories.  they cost nothing  C.  each precious day on this earth

this and that...

 most of these are from my drive down the Richardson with some at the end of Round Island.

 the colors were at peak in this one large section. i think i stopped every 50 feet at times...so beautiful.  would have loved to just get out of the car and take off on foot. not the best weather than day despite beautiful views.

 not that i know my way in this area and really nobody knew where i was...so i stayed in the car and enjoyed it from there.  plenty pretty for a road trip.

 my class finished up and so now i have my certificate i guess.  good for 4 years.  next up...the peds version and recert on my PALS.  so many things when you work float pool. just another reason i wouldn't want to do flight nursing....they seem to constantly be taking classes of one kind or another.

 flew through the scenario the lady gave me.  i think i went so fast she probably didn't notice what i missed. as i drove home i remembered i forgot to check for pelvic fracture.  the mnemonics are a bother but i memorized what i needed.

 spent some time....well too much time i'm sure...getting Skelly ready for September.  he is fishing out there on the front deck.  since Halloween stuff is out i wandered a few places to see what they had....so now Skelly has some more critter skeletons to hang out with.  i had debated getting another human skeleton companion for him....Skellina, but i will wait.  the thought of dressing another skeleton each month seemed a bit much.  perhaps by next October i will be game.

 Home depot had an 8 foot T Rex and some 6 ft horse skeletons....you will be happy to know i passed on those.  would be fun to have that big T Rex though covered with twinkly lights in the front yard.  haha.

 was so excited to sleep in today but i woke up early and never really dropped back to sleep..try as i may.

 it was  blustery and when it's blustery i prefer walking with someone. the moose get nuts when it's windy out.  i've seen them running in random directions, spinning then taking off again.  it just spooks them and they are unpredictable.  have no desire to be run over...

 the little free library is on hold. did get a text back from the guy i have working on it.  his mother is ill so he had to fly south.  said he'd finish it for free when he comes back.  apologized for delay.  so i will pay but i should be getting a bit of a discount and perhaps i can get a few more things worked on.  the broken umbrella's i put out for free were taken quickly, the broken table is still there.  figure if it doesn't find a home perhaps i can figure out how to create a new top for it.  non glass...i still have a tiny glass shard from that table in my thumb.

 met up with Lena today and we walked Campbell Airstrip and around.  the pups had a great time.  they could care less about the wind.  they impressed one biker as i put them in a hold up, sit and stay. he was able to bike right through them...they stayed.  the next biker came out of nowhere so i didn't have time to get them set up.

 haven't heard much about Mexico and their earthquake in the news.  our news has focused on Irma and Harvey...hurricanes.  the US Virgin Islands got hit badly. Florida didn't take the hit it was predicted to get but there is still a lot of damage.

 sadly, some nursing home patients died after overcoming to the heat.  many of this little nursing homes are a bit questionable.  sounds like this one was very familiar to the EMS folks who go there often.  more calls than other care places.

 our instructor for this class i took spent many years in the military.  his job involved transport of critically ill military patients from Iraq and Afghanistan back to US hospitals.

 he spoke about it at the end of the second day before we took our tests and did our scenario's.  he then showed us a video he'd been asked to make.  very emotional.  he was weepy and i know many in the room were as well.

 just seeing these big cargo planes filled with injured soldiers was emotional.  can't imagine doing these runs over and over with young military who would have dramatically altered lives if they survived.  lots of burns, amputations, head trauma(often all three no doubt) .  not just limbs but penis and scrotum.  nothing is spared in these mines that blow. he would have 4-5 vented icu level patients. these were long flights and these nurses went on very little sleep.

 sounded like he learned to speak English in the military.  Immigrants.  there are so many amazing people who have come to our nation and have taken it in as their own.  have given their souls.  this instructor was moved by the care he was able to give to our nations soldiers.  he gave all he could to soldiers of a nation he adopted as his own.  i get so frustrated with those who refuse to see how those that come here from other nations as immigrants and refugees bring so much to our nation.  many of our military are from other nations originally...many go to war for those of us in this nation who have not volunteered to serve and protect our own nation.

 when i look around my hospital and think of all the hospitals across this nation..i can promise you we would not be able to function without all the immigrants and refugees.  our healthcare system is already struggling to cope with the number of people who have medical needs.  slowing our influx of immigrants and visa holders would only make that situation worse.  we are shooting ourselves in the foot by making it more difficult for them.  many great workers will simply choose to go to a more welcoming nation.

 looks like the Democrats are trying to make more deals with iitoo.  that guy listens to whoever is around him the most....he wants his ego stroked...do what they must i guess to try what they want done....hoping they can extend the Dreamers and make it more permanent.  a way needs to be made to help those who are here already.  yes they came illegally, but if they are productive and willing to work/learn and participate for the good of our nation...find a way to make it happen.

 immigrants and refugees often do the jobs we don't want to do.  Visa workers do the jobs we can't fill.  especially in rural area's...the Dr's are often on visa programs in those areas.  if not for that, they would have few Dr's.

 yesterday after class i headed to Pt Woronzof as the tide was going out.  the pups got to run on the beach for nearly 2 hours i think.  i was tired last night and i feel pretty wiped out again tonight...

 the colors in fall are spectacular up here.

 got to chat with a friend who is staying back east.  i guess the fall colors are coming on out there as well.  i have always heard how beautiful it is back east in the fall as well.

 ours is more the tundra and back east it sounds like it's more the trees.

 some friends should be joining me for a walk tomorrow. hoping to hit powerline and perhaps head up towards Hidden Lakes...i have a Dr appointment in the morning so would be after that. will just take pups with me.  skin survey.  my family has history of melanoma so i try to get checked on occasion.  i have never had much of a mole thing but better to be safe.

 the pipeline. it comes and goes along the drive.

 gold miners in Brazil have reportedly been killing off the very reclusive Amazon tribe members.  the tribe was gathering eggs and they crossed paths with the gold miners. the gold miners were later bragging about the killings and had a hand carved paddle from a tribe member.  reports are up to 10 tribe members were killed/massacre'd.

 the greed in our world is horrible.  i often wonder how much money these people require...is there no end to their needs and their greed.

 more murders in our town here.  our mayor got bashed for saying if you aren't involved with drugs and not out after midnight you are safe...

 i remember being at a trailhead and chatting with this lady. she was new to Anchorage and worried about the crime here. i recall telling her if she avoids alcohol, drugs and love she should be fine.  those seem to be killer combinations.

 looks like a black bear wandered in to a hotel lobby in  Seward recently.  sounds like they were able to convince him to move along.  funny pictures though.

 the Rus stuff just keeps coming. will be tons of books written about all of this one day...some are already being written.   a CNN reporter just published a book about being on the campaign trail with iitoo.  he got those at his rally riled up and angry at press, especially CNN and often this particular female writer.  Tur i think her last name is. the names they were called and things that were said. she just felt the brunt of the people's  frustration and he was able to get that frustration directed at hillary or the press.

 as she said the best thing to do is to continue to be the best journalist you can be.  freedom of the press is vital.  we must protect it.  there is a Rus journalist...yet another person who has dared to write our against Put and now has had to leave Rus in fear for her life and her families lives.

 people can pretend this Rus stuff doesn't matter but truth does matter.  it always matters.  the lies that are piling up, the shady deals and discussions....they will be found to matter.  you can't want your parties agenda so badly that you are willing to look away at the corruption and the lies.  he may pardon every last one of them and he may be pardoned himself for whatever...but the truth will come out one day.  you can run but you can't hide.

 the rest are from Round Island...my sweet walrus buddies.

 the greens were just starting to come out when i went there and now they are nearly gone

 i cruised down to Potters to peek in on the swans.  there were maybe 7-8 but they were fairly far back, the wind was blowing and the rain was spitting and sputtering.

 a few walrus check in to see if landing is an option.

 summers go fast but this place is amazingly beautiful.  i can travel but will never see it all. even the trails i travel close to home.  they change nearly weekly in the summer. take a few weeks off and new things will be emerging as other things are going away.

 the reds were really out on the trail today. the colors are popping out above the tree line on the chugach. soon the birds will have flown south, the moose will be sparring all over town and after that the bears will start to settle in and the snow will come

 that is how it works here. it's constant change.  i like that.

 i also like getting different views on things...listening and reading different lives does help you see the world through others eyes.  it would be easy if everything we believed as a kid ended up being true, but that is rarely how it works.  our truth is rarely the truth of all.  it tends to turn out that there are many truths.

 many ways to live, to view this world, to live your life.  many ways to believe.  nobody has all the answers and those who believe they were the ones chosen to be given the truth may find life isn't that simple. it's complicated.  if the truth works for you that is great but understand that the truth won't work for all...no truth works for all.

 for these great beasts...truth is unknown.  they follow patterns that have worked.  if those patterns no longer work or are found to be absent....they do their best to adapt.

 adaptation is key.

thankful for:  A. one class down  B. those who serve our nation's military.  those who go beyond what is required and give their all to help others.  C.  silliness and the joy of a life where i have the time and means for silliness.