i have returned....

 iphone pictures are always a blend of the entire. for some reason they always load oddly.  so here is a mixture of shots from the big adventure.

 it was a super fun trip.  great to be able to see the relatives that i rarely see...being there is always a better means of really being a part of the lives of those we love.  i realize i am here so i have put some distance there, but you hope that trips like this help bridge those miles between you. 

 i also have to admit that i develop more and more of a severe anxiety to flying in those big jets.  it felt like the sheer duration of the flights allowed the anxiety to build to the highest levels.  i try never to let the crazy close calls come back to haunt me, but that isn't reality in life i guess.  when a pilot comes on the speaker and says, "you need to listen to your flight attendants and prepare for a crash landing" it remains in you.  as i flew south the anxiety built, on the plane i was thinking that i may not be able to do long flights any more.  i was thinking Iceland is off the table.  i made it down and back though, intact. 

 i think many people suffer from anxiety in planes.  talking to co-workers last night and telling them about that time in the air that night, nearly an hour, waiting for a crash, that didn't end up coming....they mostly said they didn't think they could fly again after.  we fly though.  it's the reality of life in these days.  i may need valium or something in prep next time.  or i may need to opt for more stops with breaks between in order to allow myself to calm between flights.  i don't know the answers.

 so the trip in a nutshell.  flew down and got in late.  my grand niece kindly gave up her room for me.  we ended up meeting up with my one brother in the Houston area and his family at the local zoo.  it was hot as hell.  the humidity...how do people live there?  great to catch up with all of them.  meet the kids kids and the new family members that have joined in....still many out there i have never met.

 my niece and i hit the last part of the huge rodeo and then home to crash late.  we all slept in!!  later we met up again with my brother and his family at his daughters beautiful home for dinner.  another brother lives 4 hours away.  i told him i was coming down but he never really made any effort to make the drive down.  i left the details before our cruise to those who live down there.  we all make choices...he chose not to make coming down any sort of priority...maybe those political divides have had a deeper impact than even i imagined.  oddly, the thought occurs to me that i may never see him again...that is the age we are starting to get to.  when will i make that long flight down to Texas again?  he's even more afraid when it comes to travel than me so i doubt he will ever come north. just a strange thought and sad really. 

 we boarded the cruise ship the next day. 

 my niece and i scheduled massages on board while we were at sea...4 days total sea days.  she did the middle massage...it was a great choice i think.  otherwise we amused ourselves with pool time, shows, dining, games of "spit, speed, peanut butter" new rules created to allow JB below to have a chance at beating me...you had to say all three in order to actually win...haha.  she'd jump from bed to bed playing her mom and I. 

 she also enjoyed the climbing wall. CB made a run up there as well. i did not partake.  I'd brought games and fun bags for the kids so reading, yahtzee, boggle, puzzles, solitaire....it was beautiful forced relaxation.

 GB enjoyed time with the teen club on board. 

 we had three days of shore excursions.

 this was our last...in Cozumel.  we did a big, spendy package to play with dolphins, sea lions and manatees.  as my wise friend SH says, you remember the moments not the money spent and we all had an amazing day with these beautiful animals. the photos really show the joy of the experience on all of our faces. great way to beat the heat as well. 

 we also played ping pong a lot

 Cozumel was the most build up of the three stops...so i was happy it was last. 

 JP entertaining us with his moves out there after dinner!!

 our first stop was Roatan, in Honduras. it's on a island.  some of these places can be a bit dicey but we felt safe.  there were guns.  we were driven to a private resort across the island.  we saw machine type guns held at gas stations and the resort was gated with armed guards.  they snorkled, we kayaked and then we just chilled on the beach.  it was a beautiful beach.  the color of the water is just so amazing.

 the next day we had 12 hours on land so CB had arranged a tour out to the Mayan ruins.  Dzibanche and Kohunlich.  we ended up having a private tour with this gentleman below and a driver.  they were really great...the driver spoke no English but he was at our service.  CB picked these because you get to climb on them still so climb we did.  they are steep though and it was hot and my knee isn't what it used to be...still feeling that. 

 he would run to the top every time i started heading down and just give me  his hand...so kind, so sweet...so appreciated!!  another tour showed up where we were at both places, but really both were just behind us so it was like we had this private tour with just us and the ruins.

 this tour was out of Costa Maya.  it was a 2.5 hour drive to and from the ruins.  i liked the drives as it gave me an opportunity to glimpse more of the area...that beyond the tourist area.

 thankfully, my last flight home was a few late.  i felt a bit comforted because the pilot came on and said, if it's a bit messy in the cabin blame me...he'd kicked the cleaning crew off early so as to not delay us any further and get us all home to Anchorage.  he was born and raised here and he and the co-pilot both live here.  not sure why that helped but they were locals and it felt like i was already home...

 i had wine going south and benedryl heading north. neither really took the edge off as much as i would have liked.  it was great to be home. landing safe always is such a relief...then i feel foolish for being so anxious. 

 on the flight in i connected to the wifi video access.  watched most of "Boy Erased" but the last part just blipped off. 

 then i started to watch, "the marvelous Mrs Maizel"?  not sure.  i have watched a few more between shifts now.  i like it. 

 i was so convinced that i arrived at 3 am and had to work at 7 pm that night that i dressed up and headed to work.  only to discover that it was actually just Wednesday and i didn't have to work until Thursday.  so i came home.  the pups were happy to have me return again.  above is on board with my niece and her kids...beautiful sunsets and awesome weather.  always a breeze on the boat so that is great.

 we only had one day of rain and that was the last day on board and that day i went from the jacuzzi's to the chair to read, cards...then the massage.

 laughs with family in Texas.

 i did get through a night at work last night.  two more to go...i need to go get ready.

 really just wanted to drop a post to let folks know i survived. i am home and all is well. 

 here are a few of the ruins..you can see a bit how steep it was.  the steps were tall. 

 it is break up here. warm weather...in the 40's for the future it seems.  suppose to be great aurora tonight, but i head back to work.  i worked ICU last night.  my patients are both due to be withdrawn from care in the next few days so fairly low stress case load.  i got my evaluation done so check that off the list.  next the RQI and then April will be full of education days.  yikes. 

 my niece and my newer niece in law...great to meet AP finally.  congrats on the new home you guys!!

 flights were bumpy as usual but pretty views heading down.

 we had the party plane from Anchorage to Seattle.  3 hour flight, followed closely by a 4 hour flight.  just too long in the tube.

 more dancing.  i better get ready, feed the dogs and head to work. 

 great trip, fabulous memories and happy to  be home...

 lots of puppy snuggles....hope they don't know i snuggled with dolphins, sea lions and manatees....

thankful for: A.  safe travels B. new adventures C. time with family

early Birthday party!!!

 thanks to sandra for arranging such a fun gathering at the Glacier Brewhouse!!  i was thinking a night out with a few friends but it turned out to be many more people than i expected.  thanks to all who came and made my big 5-0 start out fun and fabulous!!  i have been told that the tiara is to be taken kayaking.  the large bag had to be carried to the car which i'd parked several blocks away.  i really wasn't expected all of the fuss...but it's good for me to be fussed over i guess, at least every 50 years or so.  haha!!

 just wait til i turn 100!!

 our sun has been orange lately..the result of all the fires burning on the kenai mostly.  it's a huge fire.  i think over 100, 000 acres?  everyone is hoping for rain and it's finally starting to look like a possibility.  i have been hoping that it begins to rain here and that the sun shines instead in Ketchikan for our trip.

 i spoke with our guides Amanda and CJ today.  they seem super nice and excited!! weather looking great for the moment.

 i took these through these flowers in a flower pot on my back deck with my powershot after i  had worked all night.  not bad i think.  the air quality is terrible as you can imagine.  the next morning i think it was i came home and it was raining down ashes.  it's a crazy big fire.  no loss of human life though my heart goes out to all the wildlife and their new babies...how many won't make it out alive, i have no idea.  animals are smart and will move away if they can...but..i'm sure many will still be lost.  they are trying to contain it and prevent loss of structures as well as lives obviously.

 had a bit of a stomach bug this weekend.  canker sore diet all last week followed by gi bug this weekend...i should be down 2.5 pounds at least.  i'm sure i will quickly regain said poundage.

 it was funny tonight as people brought gifts and they had me open them in front of everyone.  can't remember the last time i opened presents with that many people around.  we had family birthdays but rarely did we have birthdays with other kids.  i do remember one slumber party that i had begged for i think.  my mom just was never keen on the whole birthday thing...she always would say you invite people over and require them to bring you gifts...truthfully, she had 7 kids of her own, maybe she just didn't want to hassle with a whole bunch more or feel obligated to have 7 kids attending multiple birthday parties and needing to bring gifts.

 it was fun to get a little attention...it's not something that happens in my life really.

 helped out a friend with her pups for the weekend.  took the girls over to hang on the deck as i let them out.  everyone got along.  every time i went i grabbed a few more of those super cheap tennis balls that come from the pet stores to take with me.  wanted to wear the dogs out a bit before leaving them.  nice deck, lots of sun.

 today i met up with the Amy's at University Lake. blossom seems a bit sore tonight so i know she got a good work out.

 i fly out to Ketchikan tomorrow.  i have stops along the way in Juneau, Petersburg and Wrangell.  we call that "the milk run".  i'm not big on take off's and landings but it does force me to get used to it more and deal with it.  my brother Tom won't ride the little planes and prefers the big jets.  i'd much rather ride those little planes.  irrational i know.  i take them both though. you can't live in Alaska and let a thing like flying get in your way too much. i do prefer to stay in Alaska though, those long flights south are more unnerving for me.

 the clouds/smoke today as i drove to the Brewhouse.  the colour of these almost looks like sunset but it was not even 7pm and the sun isn't setting these days until closer to 11.  it still looks like dusk out right now.  you could easily set up a tent in the ambient light this time of year.

 downtown.

it was getting windy out there tonight.  the streets didn't seem as crowded as they usually are this time of year.  not sure what the tourists are thinking of all this smoke.

 a few from the party tonight.  Sandra got the banquet hall.  i never even knew this room was there at that restaurant.

 delaine, vanessa, Kelly, me, Gretchen, Katie and sandra.  3 tables of friends and of course, all of the WARIS board members were in attendance so we called it our first official meeting of the Walrus Advocates of Round Island Sanctuary.

 did get a few Walrus related gifts.  what can i say...i do love me some walrus!!

 Bob, Tanya, Val, John, me and Jennifer.  a few friends that would like to be going to Ketchikan with us but for different reasons aren't able to this year.

 syd, Speedy, Kim, me, Lena and Karen... a wonderful guest list...some of my favorite people.  a few were for sure missing...some have moved away and some have passed away...they were there in spirit for sure.

 i ate some of my favorite dishes...king crab legs for an appetizer and herb crusted Halibut for dinner.

short and sweet tonight.  still some packing stuff to do...i think i've pretty much got it covered.  hoping for safe travels for us all and a lovely vacation in Ketchikan!!  thankful for...well so many things... 1. great friends who accept you for who you are even if you are quirky or cranky or sensitive or foul, cause none of us is perfect and we are all still learning and growing 2.  great food  3.  the excitement that comes when you are anticipating a vacation.  always anxious about all the details but excited for the quest.