fingers crossed...normalcy is coming.

xrays are supposedly happening Monday. i say supposedly because i didn't get a confirmation call or text.  will pull her food Sunday night and take her in.  perhaps i'll call right before i head over.  really hoping we get good results and the all clear to move forward on activity. 

after loads of snow we are having some spring feeling days. will take some time to melt but with the days getting longer and longer it is usually pretty amazing how fast it does all melt away. 

i need to start looking forward to getting back to activities and making plans for a fun summer.  her other knee is still iffy so we shall see how that all goes this summer. another thing to keep fingers crossed over.  i'm not really keen for a repeat of this and all that hardware in there in an active dog makes me nervous.  seems like quite a few dogs end up in surgery again to remove hardware eventually. 

spent my work week in the ER my last stretch.  holds.  20 folks stuck in the ER each night as the hospital was out of beds. the last two nights i was oriented folks. the first night the girl was a bit more green, she returned the next night and i had a more experienced traveler to orient so  it was actually good as i was available for both of them and wandered a bit to help out other nurses with their patients. 

hopefully i have redeemed myself for those days where i have no doubt been more testy in days past. 

working 12 hour nights you all get to know each other, good, bad and all that.  overall, we all get along and really it's more like being in a bit of a war zone with comrades.  we all get through with a little help from each other. no way to avoid being you some days and for them to be them.  other careers i'm sure there is more ability to put on a good face.  fake it til you make it...not so much with nursing. we save all our faking it for the patients no doubt.  

quite a lot of laughter...yes we laugh at patients too. some humans are so ridiculous and trying that all we have is laughter.

i have weaned Ivy down on the drugs.  she has been off the gabopentin for a bit and now the trazadone is also mostly off at this time. she is walking well, the non-surgery knee looks a bit sore at times so i have returned to giving her the truprofen and i've kept her on the cbd oil...until bottle runs out? not sure yet.

she wants to run and she wants to play.

i have started to drop leash as i get in the back yard so she doesn't kill me.  last night the aurora was quite visible from the yard so i just let her come out with me a few times. she did pretty good.  this morning i let her out when i went out to pick up dog poop.  she turned around and immediately headed back inside...returning before i could get concerned with a tennis ball.  that is my girl. 

Tusker came and grabbed it from her so there went her play time. 

i first headed to Woronzof and Lake Hood to try to see the lights.  it was showing over a 7 on my little app, which is very good.  pretty faint...also the fools at Woronzof do not comprehend turning off their lights.  the headlights and dome lights...it was ridiculous so i headed home.  it was around 0 or less out there also. at home the lights showed up...hadn't seen any when i'd left the house. got a lovely show before i opted to head to bed.  

was wiped out from the multiple walks every day.  i'm getting 4-7 miles in a day. yesterday i took Tusker for a walk on his own. i haven't done that every day.  just gets a bit silly.  could have today but i have been doing stuff around the house and getting them both out.  hoping next week i can start to take them on different trails. feel safer with her in the car bouncing around. she will have to stay on leash a bit more for these walks i think she can't go totally nuts yet. eventually, she will just be Ivy and i will just have to let her. can't keep that girl down much longer. 

i miss my crazy girl and she misses being crazy.

had some great sunsets last few weeks. 

and loads of digging out of the snow.

a few moose sightings.

Miss Breezy finds the heater vents

i get love...so hopefully that means i will be forgiven for putting her through this.  dogs have short memories for some stuff. 

life is a combo of lazy and crazy i think. 

at least mine is.  still fairly simple.  the dogs are no doubt gonna want these extra walks. 

as much of a bother it is taking them on so many walks i do remind myself that many who live in cities or apartments do this all the time. 

have gotten very spoiled with the dog door.

piled on snow shots.

the driveway is super long due to the snow so at this time the library is not accessible. 

haven't been overly enthusiastic to make calls out to the siblings...over the years it's been so one sided. at some point you do have to ask yourself what is the point? why do you battle over and over attempting to make relationships with folks who barely can be bothered to return the attempts. i know of at least one that seems to have hatred for me, a few others that don't really like me at baseline...so step back and see who actually has an interest in having any sort of relationship

i think you feel so obligated to force relationships with people you are actually related to and at some point it's way past time to let that dream go.  

don't give space to people who bring you down. hang on to those who see you for who you are and still tolerate and enjoy you. its just too destructive to an already sketchy self esteem otherwise.

i was so happy to see the road crew the other day.  i'm sure i will hear them again soon for round two.

our street is pretty thin at this time. 

a bit worried about the neighborhood watch guy.  haven't really seen him out there lately.  

Covid Cat was not at all thrilled with the many inches of added snow.

i was though. it's kept Ivy safe post op and it just looks so beautiful.  

need to get the house cleaned and i hope the fencing inside the house will soon be a memory.  the refi is finally almost done.  the notary will come over on Tuesday to do the signing.  so i get a lower interest rate and can really start to think about a newer car and flooring. 

asked about cars for dogs and camping on a dogs/hiking/camping group on fb.  the most named was the subaru's. 4 runner, xterra, passport and the cargo vans were also mentioned.  does help give me some ideas.  several liked jeeps but there was also others who complained about the jeeps...lotta lemons out there? the truck idea just seems like it could be tough getting Ivy in and out of with bad knees.

this was as i walked in to work.  pretty sunset.

we have new style n95's at work.  so i got fit tested the other morning after work. 

overall case numbers down but they have been starting to bump back up again.  our state like others is relaxing mandates. happy to be vaccinated, but still we have a ways to go before this is behind us...with so many who still refuse vaccines and don't take it all seriously we will have even longer. 

covid has been a bit of a social experiment. i think for me it has opened my eyes to a few things. who was supportive as opposed to dismissive.  who asked about me, checked in on me, concerned themselves over my health and welfare....who didn't or worse, who not only couldn't be bothered to support me but went the other way and ridiculed me or made life more stressful.  when people show you who they are believe them.  

you don't have to hate them back but you do have to make sure that those who have little interest in you do not hold power over you.  that can be hard to do i think but it's a work in progress. 

i am not always the most easy to get to know, may be not the easiest person to like or to love, but there are many who have taken the time and effort to see me for who i am.  to try and get to know me, to pull me out of myself. to get past the roadblocks that many of us put in our own way for fear we will be rejected.  

we do all deserve love, we deserve to be cherished, but many of us have a hard time believing that. we have a hard time seeing the good in ourselves and are surprised when others see good in us...often we even find it difficult to believe the compliments.  

i am grateful for those who stick by despite my own clumsy attempts at relationships. 

dogs are easy.  they do not see our faults and it's easy for us to trust them. they don't see us in our awkwardness.  they do not see us for anything but the basics of how we treat them.  they forget the bad and live each moment without a care for the future.  we can learn a lot from them.

almost time to put those boots back and and head out for another bog walk.

maybe head out to see the sunset with Tusker later.  may be another night of lights out there but it's looking like there may be more cloud cover...though not bad right now

despite not being able to get out as much as i usually do there is always beauty to be seen.

love how the sun dances on the snow

and the occasional moose spotting. Tusker and i hit the Oceanview Bluff Park.  it's been awhile since i've been there. probably will be a good and easy Ivy walk by next week. 

on our neighborhood walk i saw this buried car...yes there is a car in there.

off to enjoy the pups.  life is good overall.  there are moments, there are always failings and relationships that disappoint but still the world is a happy place, a peaceful place.  be well, take care of yourselves and take care of those around you.  none of us is alone no matter how alone we may feel some days. 

grateful for A.  those in my life who see me and accept me and reach out to me...despite my social awkwardness, clumsiness and difficulties connected at times B. for the animals who share my life and bring me joy and a reason to wake up, walk and live the best life i can  C. healing....good for the body and soul. 
 

WEEK 8!!!!!!

 

a sure sign that we are hopefully nearing the end of this madness! we all want to get back to a normal life. Covid Cat is not happy with the snow load outside.  for sure this is my fault...that is the mind of a cat!

we had nearly 2 feet drop the other day and we are on our way to another 4-6 inches today again.  the view above is from my bedroom...the roof load is a  bit high, but hoping we will soon have a melt down.  spring is coming. 

i had to dig a path in the back yard so i could get Ivy out there to walk...figure that deep snow may stress her healing leg...so after i dug a path in the back i came back in took her for her yard stretch, put her back in the pen, fed and medicated her then headed out front to dig a path out there to the street. 

i was super happy that the road crew was already out making a basic path out of our street.  had to skip the bog for over 24 hours as the path was too deep to risk so i did have to shovel to the street, which was extended a good 12 feet beyond what is normal...the snow was deep.  after i walked them in the neighborhood i came back out to shovel more so i could eventually get to work. was so thankful a neighbor came over with her snow plow and did the section of heavy stuff at the end of the driveway where the road crew had pushed it all up. 

work was pretty exhausting this week.  the knee just gets tired after 12 hours. was so happy my last night was spring forward and i only had to do the 11 hours. 

Ivy is doing great.  she has xrays next Monday so we shall keep our fingers crossed that she gets cleared to slowly return to normal. of course, she currently believes she should already to be returned to normal and is pushing the activity limits as much as possible. the other day a frisky golden came into the path and she escaped my grip on the leash and booked toward the dog and did some frisky pouncing around herself before i could catch up to her.  all seems fine.  she has also tried to start wrestle sessions with Tusker several times. 

when can she wrestle? when can she chase the tennis balls again? when can she freely use the dog door?  these are my big questions.

indoor wrestle sessions.  

yesterday i just wanted to sleep.  the schedule keeps looming large, especially between shifts.  that was all i got yesterday, the dog schedule..sleeping between walks and dog cares. 

today i got out with LS for a Tusker walk, hit the grocery and then grabbed Ivy for her walk #2. the step count is very good these past several weeks. 

it was probably a good thing in the end that i was a bit laid up with my leg or i fear i would have pushed ivy to be walking more than she should have...and she would have been a willing participant in that.  

we have slowly built up the walks to just a wee bit more than 10-15 minutes.  we stop a lot. Ivy takes breaks to clean out snow in her pads. just outdoor time really. i suspect we would have both gone nuts if we hadn't done that.

still some from the snow sculptures.

Dallas Seavey is again Iditarod champ...how many more will he win...he's still young so i suspect he will have a record that will never be beat. the most the best have managed is 5 wins so he is now tied with the best...but i don't think he is near done. 

love this flip around the head Ivy look. i think there was a moose on the trail that i had not yet spotted.

caught site of a barge leaving town last week.  always a fun site...we really don't get tons of boat traffic out there.  miss all the boats and planes from when i lived on the water in Ketchikan...

my first two nights were doing holds in the Er.  always keeps me busy.  

was trying to schedule a fit test for new n95 masks.  people seem to like them better, more comfy. i figured there would be loads of appointments but looks like i have to wait until April. 

the rest of life is a bit of a blur i must admit. 

i'm having zero trouble sleeping...so sleepy all the time. 

i peek in on Ivy when i'm at work...so happy to have the dog cam.  where will i aim it once this is done? the couch? 

there is loads of snow out there. i am so grateful that we have had snow as opposed to ice. if i do this again, i suspect that mid to late september would be the perfect time...avoid snow and ice maybe...it's always just a guess up here. 

Ivy is always happy to return to the pen area after her little walks. so she must still be more tired than i think despite her pulling on the leash. i have found the other walking harness so i may try that and see if i can slow her pulling down a bit.  tusker is so much better on leash with his special harness in place.

the ballerina is my favorite.

there were several that i really did like though. 

dreaming of new floors and a hot tub....those are on my list of next desired expenses...and of course, i really need to look at the next car thing. 

the truck idea is seeming more and more impractical, which is a bummer.  just seems like a bother getting a dog with knee issues in/out of the extended cab.  if i get a larger suv with a ramp option for the back that would probably work better.  just want one long enough i can sleep in the back as well.  

the same company ship that the barge was above. 

april is often tough walking which will probably further prevent me from over doing it with ivy for an extra month.

i've been watching the netflix series, "kim's convenience".  cracks me up. light and easy. 

have watched a few movies and just chilled in my between walk times. 

it's already after 3pm...where do the days go?

the neighborhood snow sculptures...what will they do with all this new snow out there.

have seen a young moose several times out there the past week.  

did manage a loop in there this morning...one morning after work the temperatures were soooo cold! 

i used to walk my dogs all the time after i got off work before i had a yard and dog door....i have gotten spoiled and lazy...i may never be allowed to return to those days as these two are enjoying that little walk before i go to bed after work now.  hmm....

i think this was that super freezing day. 

totally below zero.

more folks are getting vaccinated.  ran into a group in the bog..they happily announced that they were all vaccinated and i got to chime in that i was as well.  ran into another guy once i got back to the streets and he was making sure everyone knew that anyone over 16 can now get vaccinated in Alaska!

most seem to be good with the vaccines we still have a group that are not jumping on board.  

i got a massage last week which was great...the therapist said she will not get vaccinated unless she is forced to.  oh well. no point pushing anything at this point with anyone. 

there are those who will just continue to believe such craziness as trump didn't lose the election and those that stormed the capitol were really just antifa and blm....

there are people who chose to not believe that Germany killed all those jews under hitler.  some people just will never see the truth in things because they do not like the truth and what it would mean to their pre-ordained view of the world they live in. 

life in a bubble. sadly, the world outside the bubbles of these folks is quite vast. 

better get a nap in...guess i will return to my pj's...since i'm not getting fit tested i may as well get comfy. 

thankful for A. snow, glorious snow  B.  being healthy enough again to shovel all that snow C. springing forward...and the 11 hour shift...!