one more sleep til Christmas Eve...

 i frequently wake all smashed between two pups and a cat...above is one of my new favorite photo's.  I'll need to get it blown up for sure.  :-)  that is my family photo.

 this morning Miss Breeze Chatterbug was smartly sleeping right on the heater vent. 

 the pups have been wearing their scarves all week...they just look so cute in them...so says I anyway.  very abercrombie and fitch, dog model like.

 just finished 3 nights of work, then i just have today off and return for the one night of Christmas Eve.  this weeks gig was IMCU, ER and then ICU.  i was able to catch up with my manager.  clear up the ER stuff a bit.  i got all the online education stuff taken care of so that is all caught up.  it all starts again next month though but at least I'm caught up for the moment.

 only one other ER float on nights, I'm it for the ICU and the PICU if they need help though. place usually empties out as much as it can for holidays.  most folks will avoid the place until after the holidays...that often means that many will come in much sicker as they have put off being seen to not miss out on anything.

 i have no plans for Christmas Day.  i generally have at least one pity party during this season...it is not easy to be a singleton this time of year.  you really do get left behind or out of a lot...i lack some of the social skills, at least i figure as much, as i don't get invites for any Christmas dinners. i think my lack of invites then makes me think of my Mom and miss her.  in her days she would seek out those singles or misfit folks and make sure they knew they were welcome at our home. 

 she was never the best housekeeper but our home welcomed all and made them feel welcome and wanted..that was my mom.  so i think then i miss her more because i know i would have always been welcome in a home like hers, but i guess those homes are less or i just don't get picked for the party list....you'd think I'd be used to it...also i know it is my own fault in many ways.  I'm pretty good at isolating myself when i want to. you can't live your life as a bit of recluse and then expect others to pull you out of your hermit house.

 still it is always tough to be the perpetual inviter who then rarely gets invited back. my family is busy with their own lives as well and so most holidays it seems to end up that if i want to hear from them, it's on me.  that can be tough.  some times it would just be nice if they thought, we have a sister who lives alone, we should reach out to her over the holidays and make sure she isn't lonely.

 so today was my pity party i guess.  tomorrow I'll be busy at work and Christmas Day I'll be sleeping and then I'll walk the dogs...if i treat these days like regular old days it's no big deal...i do have a friend having a boxing day party on the 26th so that will be fun.

 who could be sad for long with these adorable puppies to keep me company.

 i think it's just can be a rough time of year for many...it's expectations. it's all around us.  everywhere you turn is this expectation that you will be surrounded by loved ones, exchanging food and gifts.

 had some fun walks last week and a few great sledding days as well. 

 joined friends out at Oceanview Bluff Park the other day.  first i took the pups for a walk down towards the beach.  it is a bit punchy still out there. you would think it would be all frozen up. 

 i walked careful and we didn't go far out.  then we met friends for sledding. 

 not having a kitchen is a bit tough as well.  part of the holidays is cooking.  comfort foods from when i was young.  foods my mom taught me to cook. even when you eat at others, for me, i still want to cook a few meals the way my mom taught me.  no kitchen means i can't do that either.

 I'm on counter wait and watch.  i got an email that it was to be shipped on the 20th, then they will check it at the shop here and make arrangements to install. getting so excited to be able to organize life and clean up.

 hoping to stop and get a few more supplies so i can get those 2 doors done this week...keep myself busy to avoid self induced pity parties.

 another morning Tusker shot...these two really do take up a lot of the bed...i need a larger bed and a larger couch!!

 a sad case last night in the ICU.  unexpected stuff happens.  our lives are fleeting.  i shouldn't waste any of mine feeling sorry for myself.  most of the time i don't...damn this season and how it makes not just me feel but many I'm sure.  failures for not having families to be surrounded by and cook for.

 as if day to day life isn't pretty good at making us all feel inadequate, then there are the holidays. still i do like the overall positive spirit that is out there.  people being nice to each other more than other days.

 love this picture above as well. so great to have sibling puppies...they really do keep each other company.

 the art in the back yard is great at a pick me up.

 that was the plan...adds some light to the dark winter days.

 i had weeded through the dog toys so i took a bag of toys and just tossed them out at the dog park the other day to share with other dogs.  of course, today i took the dogs to PetSmart...love to wrap up gifts for them to open on Christmas...they are adorable at opening gifts...silly i know, probably pathetic, but still entertaining. 

 my friends coming back up the hill after a run...this is a great hill, love the awesome sunsets as you sled.

 dogs in scarves on different trails. i looked it up and you can write either scarves or scarfs. both are acceptable...see what i have learned. 

 the last adult they say, is leaving the administration.  Lord help us.  counting the days until the Dems at least have some return of power...is it too late? 

 the iitoo was proud to take responsibility of shutting down the government the other day and now is trying to blame others.  all for this ridiculous wall.  there are so many other things we could do, modern things that would help secure our border.  the wall is such a joke, but he drilled it into his followers heads that this is all that can save them and protect our borders.  his campaign of fear has been greatly successful.  he also makes decisions based on what the radio/conservative media are telling him via their shows.  he doesn't bother with people who have access to actual facts, he listens to the propaganda machine on the right.

 the iitoo is openly taking direct orders from Putin and Erdogen it seems. he is by far the most spineless, sniveling POTUS in our nations history

 this was at the dog park today...man that seems like ages ago.

 Ivy was on the sled in the car.  i did force her onto one run with me...she's totally jumping on my as i go down the hills anyway, she may as well ride. i think she kind of enjoyed it...but i couldn't get her on there again.

 did i mention how naughty my dogs were at Petsmart today?  too many shoppers, excitement overload...then there was a cart with two big cats chilling as their people shopped. thankfully, they never saw those cats...we may have been banished from the pet store forever if they had.

 good thing they had on those scarves...adorable puppies are more difficult to get mad at!

 above is view out my bedroom for a sunset this week...super early...we are past solstice though so that is good.

 the days will now start to get a wee bit lighter

 below I'm attempting to get Ivy to take a ride down the hill with me.  it did not last long.  haha.

 headed back to check on the trees we decorated.  things looked to be in good shape.

 not too much activity  noted.

 i try to stop by and keep it clean so we don't leave string and stuff in the bog in the spring.

 this tree was decorated by friends...i saw their photos of it on facebook the other day.

 folks around here do enjoy decorating trees along trails...makes it more fun.  this is the part of Christmas season that i do enjoy. the lights, the decorations, the music. 

 just have to be better some days on focusing on the stuff that i love and can control than the things that make me sad that i can't control.

 more of todays stroll in the dog park.  i should have known Tusker was going to be a bit of a brat as he was a bit of one out on the trails as well.  not waiting when he was asked, doing a slower sit than even he usually does.  Ivy was lovely of course...except for her still jumping on me from time to time. 

 there are many buildings that have been deemed unfit to live in post quake, so there are several families that are in a bit of a position this season.  i need to be grateful that my place held solid.  most of this is just luck.  we've had a lot of quake activity post the big one, but the past week or so has been no big deal.  i was super anxious that first 24 hours I'd say, but it has eased up.  haven't really felt any for some time...occasionally i think i feel a shimmy.  we have had almost 5000, but most of those are pretty small.

 there was a volcano induced tsunami in Indonesia the other day.  the death toll on that will surely rise.  many still missing. no warning at all. no quake, just an actively erupting volcano.  they believe that an under water slide caused the tsunami.  a band was playing on a stage set up on the beach, tables with white linen...suddenly the stage surged up and forward.  a few band members died, another was missing.  I'm sure many who were attending were also either lost or injured as well.

i shall take my pity party day to bed and start anew tomorrow.  be kind, look for others who are lonely this time of year.  I'm grateful for: a. the furs i share my life with, i would no doubt have many more days of self pity and depression if it weren't for them b. friends and family who are there when days are dark and help brighten life up. c. comfy cozy bed when I'm super tired.

kitchens and Christmas....

 can't use mine for baking yet, but i am putting it to use finally.  the other day i was making those driftwood gifts for local friends tonight i was using it to prep the decor for the new door looks...below is before....dull, boring doors.

 painted the first one...it still needs some major touch up but it was the trial door. 

 today i added the decor...i think it will look alright.  two doors left to do and touch ups of course. 

 was getting frustrated as the tiny nails i found were too weak and kept bending and they weren't quiet long enough for the edge bits...so i ended up getting super glue...we shall see if that holds. i also bought some wood glue and i may just buy some longer nails to put in the edge bits.

 the pups wore their scarves today for our outing with LS at Rovers Run.  more fresh snow and a beautiful day on the trails. 

 they just look so adorable in their scarves...i cruised over to JoAnnes to look at new fleece for new scarves and maybe to attempt to make my own cool fleece skirt like my friends have.  i think i had just bought my skoops at the time so i didn't want to spend more money.  hopefully i can figure it out.  the design looks fairly easy even for a poor sewer like me. i figured out baby blankets and dog coats so i should be game.

 they are doing a series in the local paper about Olympiad gold medal winner Kikkan Randall, soon after winning gold she discovered she has breast cancer.  what an odd twist of life.  at this time her trademark pink hair is gone.  her strong spirit remains.  the Olympic committee is allowing her to stay on their insurance as she had just decided to retire from cross country skiing after winning gold.  her first treatment cost over $67,000...just another sign that our nation is failing in medicine.  nobody should have to pay such insane fees to get treatments in a nation as wealthy as ours.  when i hear conservatives scream that we have no money for education and healthcare while at the same time screaming build the wall, which has an insane cost for how little it would actually accomplish, it just makes me pissed.

 some are still suffering from earthquake anxiety.  i think I'm doing pretty well at this point.  probably helped that i slept through so many aftershocks.  we had one the other day as we walked among the lit trees but none of us noticed that one either. the big one is the scary one...then the first 24-48 hours, but it seems like i settle down as the quakes do...we have had over 5000 aftershocks at this point....most of those are 3's or less, hardly noticeable. 

 my dogs and the cat climb up and down off the bed.  them just breathing is probably like a 3-3.5.  if they are dreaming or scratching....well that can take the normal bed shake up to a 4 or 4.5...now things really get going if Ivy Rose decides to try and hump the cat!!

 went grocery shopping and put the stuff into the cabinets in the kitchen rather than the garage so that is progress.  I'm sure there will be some shifting as i figure out what works where.  getting closer to a finished kitchen though.  time to shift back into the room.  won't load up the cabinets under the counters until those are in though.  figure it will just get dirty.

 hoping he stops by again in the next week or two to get the stove and dishwasher in and there are still the under cabinet lights and pendant lights to put in...but really not too much left.  so great to see the light at the end of the tunnel.  I'm really enjoying the lights in the living area, so bright.  i also figured out which plug in goes with a switch by the door so now the Christmas tree is plugged into that.  easy on and off.

 above is me decorating one of the trees at this Mondays tree decorating dog walk Monday...thanks KR for the shot. 

 we had quite the crew out there.  a few left early.  it was a lot of dogs.  i think overall everyone had a great time though.  these are the rest from the tree walk the other day.

 the Childrens Hospital did a grand job and ended up winning.  not sure their tree was all that stupendous but they did have a movie playing and a lit couch to sit on and this fun tunnel that i saw many walk and ski through.  so many kids on ski's.  they had rental ski's that kids could trial.

 liked the blue.  the place was crazy with cars coming in as i was leaving.

 good news, a moose poacher killed 3 under sized moose and got fined $100K and got 9 months.  he killed them and left most of the meat to rot.  jerk.

 the worst earthquake damage seems to be in the Eagle River area. 100 homes or buildings reportedly deemed unsafe to enter in Anchorage and the School District will be needing $25-50 Million for repairs to schools after the quake.  i feel pretty grateful to have gotten off as well as i did.  it's all luck really. different fault likes, different substrate, different distances to quake, depth...so many factors. within a few miles i  can see a few unsafe structures and several with damage but overall i think our area fared fairly well.

 my eldest brother had surgery today.  so far it looks like he's doing ok. haven't spoken to him, not for a long time.  i generally just go through his wife at this point, thankfully she did a group text.  he'd had pain before, i had suggested he get a CT scan/HIDA.  he had stones so i think they felt it wasn't needed.  i wonder now if it would have given some indication of a partial blockage in his gall bladder.  maybe prevented pancreatitis.  hopefully he heals up quickly and is feeling better.  i know this is probably fairly painful.  even though we have a strained relationship it in no way means i do not care for my brother and hope the best for him. 

 my niece and her husband went to the remains of their home in Paradise. she posted pictures.  just looks unbearably sad, it was raining while they were there, which seems somewhat ironic.  her photo's were just taken with an iphone but they are amazing in how they convey the emotion of this journey they have been forced to take. i am so proud of she and her family in how they have been able to move through this disaster, focus on what needs to be done next and do it.  it will no doubt be a roller coaster of emotions for some time to come but they are so strong and brave.  another niece had gone through a hurricaine and flooding not that long ago.  she was amazingly strong in dealing with the disaster that life dealt her as well.  i got some pretty cool family members.

 a local dental office decorates with toothpaste and toothbrushes

 the iitoo is under the microscope and he is not liking it.  becoming POTUS may turn out to be the biggest error he has made in that it has made folks look at how he has lived his entire life, run his businesses and his so called non-profit. they are having to shut down the non-profit as he and his family apparently just used that as another source of income. he probably would have just gotten away with everything corrupt he was doing but he got greedy and hopefully it bites him in the arse big time.

 while many still seem to ignore all the corruption in the current administration while still screaming that Hillary did this or that, or Obama did this or that, the train is rapidly heading off a cliff.

 Flynn got slapped by the judge today.  faux news and the administration try to act like he was railroaded into lying.  the judge put him under oath again and he admitted he lied, he knew the consequences.  what happened to that guy?  he had a long and seemingly strong military career.  people screw up, they get in over their heads.  why is the iitoo being so nice about him despite his talking to Mueller while calling Cohen a rat?  it boggles the mind.  who knows what? 

 no point having any discussions with those who continue to make excuses for this pathetic wreck of a POTUS, the truth is out there, the facts are out there.  if they continue to believe the lies it is on them at this point.  having absolute, faith in a religion is one thing, acceptable, understandable. this should never be granted a politician or a government.  one should not be lulled into trusting because a few items on their agenda go their way...it's called bait and switch. just when you think you have won, it will all come crashing down on you. 

 these were cool.  artificial limbs create climbers decorating the tree. impressive

 so much to do, i need to make another list

 the rest are from tree decorating on Monday.  lots of happy dogs out there.

 pups wore their sweaters yesterday and the day of the sledding.  they just are so cute!!

 they were not the only well dressed pups on the trails that day.

 will have to head this way tomorrow for a walk and check on the trees. 

 hopefully the dog toys are enjoyed by many. i always fear some one will just come with a bag and scoop up all the toys...that would be sad.

 a bill to help start the path towards prison reform has passed the Senate i believe.  now it must pass through the house.  haven't looked too closely but it does sound like it's a good start.  we have too many in prisons and there must be a better way to deal with our many social issues than just locking up people.  they aren't productive and cost a lot to house and care for.

 it was a bit of mayhem getting the trees decorated.  we all just opened our bags of goodies and fanned out.

 it's become a fun annual tradition though.

 i suspect the kitchen has been a good distraction for me.  maybe the quake too.   life gets put in perspective for you some days.  stuff just has to be remembered for being stuff. 

 relationships that matter carry on.  people who want to be in your life stay in your life, those that don't, well, you just have to accept that they have moved on. that maybe, you never really meant that much to them after all.  you can't force people to be friends or family for that matter, but it's true that friends do become family and family become friends...it just depends on the individuals.

 some members of my family are also my close friends, while others are barely acquaintances.  it's just how it goes some times.  i think i had more hope with some family because you expect more from certain people but people only give what they want or what they can.  i had to look at the the long view.  accept what others were willing to be. 

 Christmas has become a time of peace for me.  i don't get invites to big parties or many parties, I'm not a huge joiner, but i do have my people and we do have our traditions and we are there for each other. 

 and i have the pups. 

 i always love the words in that one song..."you don't always get what you want, but you get what you need"  it's just up to each of us to find a way to accept what we are given and not spend our lives wishing for more or feeling we are less or have less. 

 find the laughter where it is, don't hold back.  live, love and laugh. 

 this day we laughed

 dogs are the best teachers some times.  they could care less what others think of them, what others have that maybe they don't.  they simply enjoy each moment they can.  they roll in the snow, they chase balls.  they live life.

 we humans find so many ways to complicate our lives, simplicity saves us some days i think. 

 i try to get the business of Christmas done and then just enjoy the basics, music, lights, decorations, food...the season where most folks are just a little kinder to each other

 here is to the season of Christmas, the grand memories of past and the memories being made in the present.  may the future be bright for us all. 

 i should probably turn in. tomorrow i really need to focus on my cruise coming up.  getting organized, tickets bought....will be a fun time with family.  it's been awhile. 

 many group shots attempted...some didn't turn out half bad.  :-)

 enjoy the holidays....

thankful for: A.  friends and the Monday walks.  B. cheap fixes to ugly doors  C. fresh ice from my ice maker.