another litter have all found homes since last i wrote

Had a few more trips to Homer. It's easy and beautiful there. Adjusted my schedule to hit some low tides. The trip after I last blogged, I was texted by animal control with another litter. I took in Amora and her 4 adorable kittens. dropped them back off when I was headed for the next trip to Homer. 

It's been a cooler year with rain or clouds often in the morning. Some clearing by evening. The wildflowers are popping out, and even the fireweed is starting to grow. The lupine and many other flowers are a bit behind schedule. 

The crew was so cute, and a few were especially snuggly. The mom immediately got diarrhea and vomiting. Got right on them, and the shelter staff even gave me instructions and supplies to do SQ fluids. Amora looked thin and was thin.   3 days of SQ fluids and she did start to perk up. A few kittens also got some fluids. Just tiny Clubbies was slightly underweight when I took them back, was headed to Homer again though. Clubbies got a home first, and the others soon followed. Amora, the mom, had to have her milk supply dry up so she could get spayed. She found a home within a few days, though. So sweet. Great to have success with these litters. You really get attached fast. Miss Clubbies and Bondii both wanted to eat solids from my lap for the longest time.

Named the kittens after a TV show in Australia I've been watching reels of. A reality show about the lifeguards at Bondi Beach.

Always love my Homer low tides. This last trip, we took a water taxi over to explore a new spot to beach comb.  Lots of seaweed but still fun to see new stuff and explore a bit. I was nervous about loading and unloading the dogs as the first boat did not have a front loader. We arrived at the beach, and they pulled out a ladder. Sunny jumped off the bow onto the beach. Ivy is a bit older and has bad knees. The owner of Mako's had joined us and he kindly got Ivy safely to ground. The return boat had a front loader, so we could just walk on.

Usually get 15,000-20,000 steps a day on these trips. 

Tomorrow I head to Valdez for a few nights. The little cabin i love at the KOA wasn't available, but we will stay in a big tent already set up that has cots. I've done that before. Not as good as the little cabin, but it's just 2 nights. The week after I will make another run to Homer for another low tide.  Maybe we will do the hike to the glacier or go to Seldovia to walk. we shall see. depends on tide times

Should do some bigger adventures, I think. So far this is working. it's all pretty. Fun to just get out and explore. 

Work, well, I'm always pondering when to retire.  The health insurance is my biggest concern. They put me in ICU again. When I asked the staffing people, they said I had been removed from the ICU list. They returned with putting me with step-down patients. The next night, CSU. The next week, back in ICU but now with "stable" patients. The thing with that is that if those step down or ICU patients become unstable, they will not trade out assignments. It's too difficult, as you'd have to move patients around in that unit. If I transfer out a step-down patient, I will be expected to take whatever ICU patient comes. In the meantime, the last time I worked there was in December, I think. It stresses me out to be guilted at 5-10 minutes before shift starts to take assignments i am no longer comfortable with. It feels like bullying at some level. The unit already has your name to come help, and now you are putting everyone in a terrible position at the last minute. It's not fair to me or to them. 

By morning, I had a tension headache with nausea. Called out. These units are literally making me ill. I wrote a note at like 3 am to the management team. Hoping this helps.

I wish ICU had not become a source of such stress, but I am hypervigilant when I am there. I do fine, but at what cost, really. At this time, the cost is mine and somewhat my coworkers, who have to support me more than they should. Do not wish to stay in ICU longer than i should and have to be made to leave. I've seen that happen. ICU is just not a place where you can be less than 100%, and I do not feel 100%. I simply do not work enough hours there to stay confident and skilled. No amount of healthstreams can make up for lack of time at the bedside

Having worked ICU for over 20 years, I do believe I've earned a break from it, and I also believe that I can still be an asset.  I may still just retire if I can find reasonable coverage. Sadly, this nation values its workers so little. Values all its people so little. the corruption and greed is so out of control. 

We just had 250 years this fourth. I did nothing to celebrate really. It was fireworks for 2 nights in a row until well after 1 in the morning. Ivy stayed close, but poor Sunny Boy was panting and clinging tightly to me. Last night he tried to fit himself in a small space. I got him back on the bed and under the covers to snuggle.  Nothing to celebrate in my mind. We are headed in a terrible direction. white supremacists gathered in DC to celebrate and protest. 

Bears are in the neighborhood. It was tipping trashcans and pooped in my front yard, brat! I'll put his poop at the top of my trash in the can. I tend to layer my trash. Anything that smells interesting to a bear gets layered under cat litter or yard clippings or dog poop. I also have a bungee cord that I release before they do their pick up. Hoping that bear leaves the garbage tomorrow. Trash bears are often killed. not a good habit. Saw one a week or so ago strolling down Tudor Rd.  

I need to do more packing. I've done so many trips over the years that I generally can toss stuff together fast. Texted Bill at the glacier. Haven't heard from him. may have to just call. Always love to stop there at the Matanuska Glacier to let the dogs play in the kettle ponds.

Lots of lawn mowing. Things grow crazy fast up here in the summers. I have many lazy feeling days, but I do get walks in. Try to head to different trails. Yesterday I headed to Powerline to explore the flowers.  Last month I checked out Barbara Falls in Eagle River and Thunderbird Falls. I kept hearing about Barbara falls but I finally located it and went to see it. will have to add it to the list of good spots.

Went to Potters Marsh yesterday as well. There is a pair of Sandhill Cranes that have a little baby there, called a colt. I did get lucky and caught a glimpse of it. Will have to look on the big camera. The swans also have 4 babies, called cygnets.

Rainbow with my flowers in boots. So cute.

The dogs do not actually care where we go.  Often we just go to Campbell Airstrip or the dog park at University Lake.  As long as we get out walking, I feel good. It's easy to get lazy. In the summer, friends tend to scatter. It can feel a bit lonely. Be lonely and do it anyway. feel uncomfortable and do it anyway.

You do get more used to not being invited, never fully used to it though. Feelings still get hurt at times. That is the trade off. In general, I'd say single life has worked out well for me. I suspect there are far more people who are surrounded by people who they feel lonely around. Having a spouse and/or kids is no guarantee that you won't feel lonely. 

As a kid i was surrounded by people and felt so alone. Its worse to feel overlooked. 

Sweet Amora.  

She got pretty thin and weak. It was getting tough for her to feed these little guys. So happy we were able to get her feeling better.

I turned 62 in May. There were no plans made, no cake. My Birthday often falls on/near the Memorial Day holiday so over the years it's eclipsed. Better this than Christmas, I'm sure, though. Spoke with people who called. It's just a strange thing, Birthdays. I have no idea how to deal with attention directed at me. Never really learned to embrace that. It just felt abnormal. A Birthday feels like some obligation. 

You really do want to be noticed, to get that attention, but you have no clue how to enjoy it. It just feels awkward. 

A few are starting to talk of planning vacations here next year. Until tickets are bought, I generally wait a bit. Alaska is one of those places people speak of going to, but when it gets closer, there are things that prevent it. We get enough patients in to see that health is not always a hindrance to travel plans. Come die in Alaska. It happens. You may as well leave the planet doing your dream trip rather than leaving it wishing you had tried to take that dream trip.

Everything is green. Missing my kitten time already. They tried, I think, but I have little trips planned in the summer. It was never my intention to give those up for kitten care. You have to set boundaries for yourself in life. All aspects. I really appreciate that the shelter doesn't try to guilt me into skipping trips. They have tried to work with me. 

Look at these sweet faces! 

They change so quickly; it's so fun to watch their skills improve. 

here is Clubbies hitting 1 pound. 

my cat is well over 1 pound. 

kittens are the best!

Work the next 3 weekends to get that Homer trip in. A bit of driving.  The roads seem to have been especially dangerous this summer. be careful out there.

Clubbies had extra toes. 

Saw this mom with her calf near Kincaid

In other news, the Element has moved to a new home. As much as I loved the car, it deserved to be given the love it needed. I'm not wealthy enough to keep up on the maintenance an old car needs, nor am I capable of doing the work myself. She is getting spruced up. It just didn't make sense to have her anymore. I think I understand my Dad selling his 1964 1/2 Ford Mustang more now. Probably in the same boat. How it works for me is you are either making a car payment, or you are spending money repairing an older car. I'd rather have a newer car that I can depend on. 

She was a great car and I hope she makes her new humans happy.

Chappo, really got into his feeds. 

Tamarama, Bondii and Clubbies.

i'm sure i missed stuff. that is the latest catch up.  grateful for A. these fast summers and all the changes week to week. B. another successful litter C. another fun trip coming up. i better run prep!
 

in my 60's now....crazy

 

seems like my entries are more on the monthly basis. i think that is a reflection of a calmer brain. much less craziness. growth, maturity. who knows. some days i keep fairly busy and other days i get less done. i try to just allow my brain/body to guide me. 

this month i did get to Denali National Park and back down to Homer for my Birthday week. both trips went well  and i had great views and the dogs and i were all exhausted after.  Denali, the big mountain made a showing. in Homer, i found a new spot on the spit to explore during a nice low tide. 

i'd heard that there were sand dollars there.  i had nice -5.2 low tides. i spent the first morning at Bishops Beach and the second morning at the new spot behind the pier one theater on the spit. not disappointed either day.  there were thousands of sand dollars, especially once you got into the more sandy section below the tide zone. picked up a few shells as well. i have bleached those and put the nicest ones in the coffee table.

other finds, a nudibranch, stars, cucumber. always fun. weather was supposed to rain the whole time but really it was great.

my only complaint was that the hotel in Homer had tv set again to revert to faux news. i mentioned it again and they seem to be attempted to fix this. it used to revert to music. i like to leave the tv on when i fall asleep. the noise muffles any sounds outside the room which may make Sunny or Ivy bark. i tend to leave it on a station that plays friends or big bang or some other inane tv program. wake up to faux though, ick. they do actually seem concerned and baffled why it is doing this. 

my hotel in Healy called on my full day there and asked if  i was  staying, saying that when they went to clean the room was empty. odd as i was in the room taking a rest between drives into Denali and all my stuff was there. happy i was there when i got that call or i may have been very anxious about it. 

there are stars at the end of the spit but less than previous years and you really need a good low tide to see them.  

did not see any big animals in Denali, at least not close up.  there were loads of ptarmigan that the dogs wanted to chase. maybe the fact that they were still changing colors they were easy to spot. the road was open to mile 30 for all. 

that is always a fun time to go and you never know what you will see. still pretty and the big mountain was out. the drive out and back is long but we had a good time.  i always make lots of stops. 

now i have an overnight with friends at Dolly Varden cabin for June and also just booked that cute cabin at the KOA for June. no great low tides the rest of the summer anywhere it seems. was looking at Yakutat. maybe just find a low tide in general. it's been on the explore this place list for awhile. 

the painting on the shed is nearly done.  i painted it non-mellow yellow with brown trim.  still have a little trim to complete. painted some birds and birdhouses on there. 

got the railing on the back deck repaired and he will come back and put some sort of awning up over the back door and repair that wall where water and dogs damaged it. i also want to get sand and pavers in the area next to the shed and perhaps a planter on the other side. 

this keyboard is sticky, kind of annoying.

i have planted some flowers, which always perks up the place. 

look at the pretty sun star!

i also had a company come out to look at replacing upstairs windows. way too spendy for me. he mentioned a 40 year warranty. laughed as at 60, a 40 year warranty feels like overkill. i'll be dead. it's not that you are planning your death but you do realize that some things are really not going to matter. 

i think dropping eternity from your constant thoughts also makes some things matter less. 

i always thought the idea of my dead relatives or God watching my every move was strange. i mean how would they know when to look away or do they view every odd human thing i do. taking a shit, having sex....so many things in life we really don't want any other humans to see let alone those in the afterlife. 

my Birthday is always an awkward thing. i mean i want and crave the attention and acknowledgement while also being very uncomfortable with any attention. in the end this year, i had a few lovely meals out with friends and took a beautiful drive back from Homer after a perfect day in the tide pools. i hung out with my dogs that day. 

a friend called while i was on a stop to stretch with the dogs. of course, i dropped the chuck it out there i suspect. it was gone.  i walked back but never ran across it. tried to find a new short chuck it in town and then ordered one online. hopefully it's the right one. 

it is funny that Ivy loses tennis balls constantly, hundreds really. i lose one chuck it though and that is a disaster for us. 

in between trips i've mostly walked at the dog park or Campbell airstrip. 

the dogs are happy with this. i have walked Sunny on leash at the airstrip since the bears area out and the moose are popping out babies all over the place. he actually does great on leash and it's just me that needs to adjust to having a dog on leash. will meet friends in a bit for a walk today. 

this guy is real pretty too

i'm a fan of big clouds and sunsets

i return to work tomorrow night. i took this week off to enjoy my Birthday.  i have always tried to avoid my Birthday being at work. i do recall one Birthday at work. had to call a code strong as my patient flipped out. i was dropping a foley cath when my coworkers stood at the doorway singing happy birthday. nurses and medical folks in general develop a very twisted sense of humor. love my co-workers.

the trees are all green again. i love that fresh and beautiful pop of green.

now the flowers are coming out. this place is just a constant barrage of change.

love all the drama. i don't like drama in day-to-day life but i love it in nature

beautiful sunset in Homer at Bishops Beach. there are horses in the horse paddocks now. tours being given. 

i should have asked if they had any tours for low tide, because the next day the horses were in the paddock while we were on the beach. that night a woman was on a horse and Sunny kept barking.  he seems better with just the horses. not the horses with riders.

these boots were added to the mix of planters as you can see the big cracks. i do wear these a lot up here in the summers. guess Ketchikan has had loads of rain this past month. over 20+ inches in May alone. 

more of the greens

our nation remains a mess. love that a reporter called the idiot out. apparently, he's being called taco over these tariffs. he's so thin skinned, as are his followers so this has really upset them so of course, it's going wild. so many great memes. taco stands for trump always chickens out. perfect. so that has become his new name...among so many others. 

they have to crash and burn on their own. we have to mostly just sit back and allow the final meltdown of these idiots.  sadly, this is going to cause suffering in many. i just hope that once their extinction burst is over things can be made better for everyone. all the things they have fought against will be codified as rights. healthcare situation will improve as will workers' rights, gay rights, women's rights, education, racial inequalities...there is much wrong with this place. believe me no God will fix any of it. 

praying hasn't shown to work to fix actual issues in any society. that requires laws. 

this is the new spot for tide pooling

a little double rainbow action. I'm seeing some sunshine out there right now. hopefully a good walk 

i have a few things on my to do list. a few appointments to make. i tend to group those and tackle those at one time. i'm starting to think my anxiety is also wrapped up in some adhd. wasn't something we were aware of when i was younger. just ordered a book to do more research. claims to help you get your life more organized and productive, which would be helpful.

should eat something before i head out. just snacks

Sunny may be on leash for the walk. my knee has been a wee bit sore. suspect all that slipping around in the low tide zone. i did one slow backwards fall.  caught myself and was just in a bridge position. 

there was still some ice on lakes when i headed north last month. sure, that is all gone

love those trails in Talkeetna for a break in driving 

may add a night in Tok after Valdez, take a drive to Chicken?  it's been a while since i've done that drive.

grateful for A. another year on this beautiful planet B. pretty good health for my age C. the people and pets that make my life more full.