plan for Homer tomorrow again....

 

it's been my go to get a way since Covid began.  may add a day on in Seward after on the way back to break it up.  we shall see. if not i'll do a day trip out there before i head back to work, weather allowing. 

will have to see how tides and weather are for the days i'm on the Kenai. 

it's pretty safe, Covid wise, down there. i'm probably the biggest threat to them over them being a threat to me. my antigen test was negative which gives me some hope that the things i'm doing at work to keep safe are working. 

had a bit of an anxiety meltdown for a bit this morning.  was trying t find things and there are just too many bits of paper all over and it made me a bit nuts.  still working on a major paper purge.  piles of crap just start to weigh you down and you have to go on a rampage...at least i do.  

ended up just taking the dogs on a local walk.  when i was done freaking about all the papers it had started to rain or look rainy so i wasn't in the mood to drive to Seward today in the rain.  instead i have focused on picking up crap.  

my friend LS came by with her power tools and helped me get this cute little shelf up.  we abandoned the original plan in the downstairs bathroom for fear of hitting a pipe.  we put the shelf upstairs. still need to put crap away in the downstairs bathroom and organize these new shelves.  they look good. 

yesterday i met up with SH for some moose spotting out at Powerline Pass.  not sure where all the photographers were but we saw at least 18 moose.  some big guys.  not tons of moose on moose action but enough moose to keep us entertained. i first walked the pups on the gasline/powerline/tank and then settled them in at home and walked without them. 

that gave me about 22,000 steps for the day.  i was in bed early and slept well. 

nothing like miles of walking to help with the sleep.  

i'll have to do a wee bit of packing this evening in preparation for the drive to Homer. i'm committed. 

i'd like to re-organize my little office.  i have to get rid of the cardboard table that has been here since WARIS began.  this was the reason for the paper meltdown. shredding paper is always theraputic for me. 

these are still fall colors from Independence Mine and that fun week of hikes in the fall colors.  got a lot of great shots that week.  perhaps next week i will take some time and get the Christmas Card/Calendar done. i'm behind schedule really. 

the fall colors are pretty much gone here in the Anchorage bowl. i suspect the Kenai will be well past as well. i have found myself moving toward the next season...looking for ice formations.

we are getting some ice in the mornings.  the dog poop is starting to be frozen...which is fabulous! 

Ivy limps after walks a bit but overall seems to be managing.  on our walks she mostly just carries her tennis ball.  they are just happy to be out and about.  not sure how Homer and the beaches will be.  surely will either limp a lot or totally do her knee in i guess. 

no wildlife spotted on the walks in North Bivouac this week, which is fine. i'm good skipping the close up sightings on walks. the dogs have still never met a bear on the trail.  we were pretty close the other day on Potter Creek but thankfully the pups and i never saw it. 

there is a video of a runner in Utah being stalked/charged by a mountain lion.  death by mountain lion would be gruesome.  there was a lot of swearing...someone on one post wasn't happy with the swearing...clearly she's never had a wild animal chase her down.  there is swearing!!  i would have been swearing.  

there were also those who wanted to give their opinion on what the guy should have done.  Monday morning quarterbacking on these types of situations is silly.  give the guy a  break. you do what you do in those situations.  sometimes it works/other times you die.  since i had a bear trying to get in my car with me...i give folks a lot of breaks for how they react to things.  when it gets right down to it...that is what you do in a crisis. you react.  there is a lot going on and you react to it.  easier to look at it later or from the outside and judge it. the guys alive, the mountain lion is alive. i'd say it went as well as can be expected.

the new judge will be sworn in.  she's being pushed through and she knows it. she's getting pushed through in hopes she will follow their political agenda and she knows that as well.  don't see anyway she doesn't get confirmed...the GOP is in control.  it's just further proof that they never had ethics/values or morals...it was always about getting their way. thinking their way is the only right way and feeling that they could and should do anything and everything to get their way....it doesn't matter that the vast majority of the population doesn't agree with them.  they believe they are doing Gods work...so much for separation of church and state. they never have really believed that. 

their religious convictions and their agenda are pushed on us all.  don't tell us how to live but we will tell you all how to live. 

people are voting in record numbers.  hope that Biden wins by a large margin...it's the only way forward i think.  close and it will be met with violence...it may be met with violence anyway. trump has not said he'd step down...he will never believe the results.  

i will miss the colors of fall...soon we will be a sea of white.  not sure when though.  it's creeping down the mountains.

trump only knows how to speak to a crowd of conspiracy theorists.  it's like the rest of us don't exist, never have in his presidency.  his followers love that.  they want to pretend the rest of the citizens don't exist either so they can plow forward with their own agenda disregarding any one else's opinions or thoughts.  that is how it is when you believe God loves you more than everyone else.  God doesn't really chose sides i think.  i hope we are judged in the end by our own lives, by our intentions.  

i've always been one to see things as how they were intended.  sometimes people are cruel and hurtful but their intentions were not to be cruel and hurtful.  for me, i take that into consideration.  

when i have more liberal views i have never intended to seed hatred towards those who have different views...i just had different views.  i have found that many on the right are angry and do wish make liberals pay for winning on some big ticket items, like gay marriage, womens rights, rights for minorities, rights for immigrants, environment...many items. the left wins these because the majority has come to believe that they are best for all of us.  it wasn't to be mean to the right.  it was just to be just and fair to all. they took it personal and are now enjoying having a bully like trump on their side to give it to those that they feel have wronged them personally.  

i recall one brother saying that now that trump was in office he would be free to practice his religion...when i called him out by asking what had he not been able to do for the past 8 years that Obama was in...he drew a blank.  spitting out their rhetoric is easier when you don't have to answer to it. Christianity is still there.  they are still free to practice their religion.  

my day to day life hasn't changed dramatically...but i see that things have changed for others, for minorities.  that things are worse for many around me.  many forget...we live in a society.  it's not always about Me..it's about us.  we fight for all because it's about all....what is best for the majority.  together we stand, divided we fall. 

the right wants us divided.  they claim to be patriots but a true patriot thinks of all Americans not just the ones that have your exact same beliefs. 

almost time for more purging of papers.  just thought i'd take a blog break. 

our mayor is resigning after some sexual impropriety with a news lady? it happens no matter the party affiliation.  pride cometh before a fall...power brings a bit more confidence and cockiness but it often leads to a down fall.  

trump backed out of the next debates.  he said it was because the debate committee wanted to do live stream over having both candidates in same room...since Trump had Covid.  i suspect he backed out more because he did so horrible at the last one.  we shall see if he returns for the third one.  i don't need any convincing.  

just read his twitter tirades.  the guys is addicted to his phone and social media.  he is exactly who falls prey to these forums.  he's into the Qanon conspiracies.  he and this administration are examples of what happens when you fall for conspiracies and forget about facts.  

it may be that many wake up one day when this is all over shocked as the facts actually come to light in their world..if they ever do.  at this moment.  they see Trump as nearly saintly.  he ain't no saint.

i'll be walking in the woods....it's what i do.  the election is not far off.  we can early vote here, which i plan to do.  

the right is working hard to make it tough for folks to vote but they are lining up and waiting as long as it takes.  i am proud of many of my fellow citizens who are being the most challenged in this election. who have the most walls put up but are still making it happen.  you are the true patriots.  a true patriot would never try to hinder voting of their fellow citizens.  a true patriot wants those voices heard. 

the republican party is screaming as they fall down the well. it makes them sound loud, all that echoing. be not afraid...the well is deep and their voices will eventually be drowned out. 

the plane gives some perspective. 

not sure i'll have many stops on the drive to Homer.  we shall see. not sure i've ever headed down there this late.

more papers to shred, more crap to clear out, some packing to do. 

the pups will be thrilled to be down there. i think tide will be going out as the sun sets.  

may have to wake up early for the low tide in the  morning. 

it's been a strange year and a tumultuous 4 years.  

i think many just want a return to some normalcy, some calmness.  some stoppage of the crazy tweets and crazy wanna be king that has been residing in the white house.  sad that his name will forever be associated with that office. he doesn't deserve the honor. he never did. 

a Presidential Library?  for a guy who can't be bothered to even read his most basic daily briefings...what a joke! it will just have reams of all his crazy tweets and hopefully a large section on how the con man was eventually made to pay for his life of deviousness. 

maybe i can drop off papers tomorrow on my way out of town for the shelter. 

enjoy your day.  bundle up, it's getting chilly out there.

thankful for A.  good friends  B. getting organized  C. purging the crap.  it feels good.  i've a long ways to go though. 

needed a break from writing...

 

finished my three day run of work and then woke to the news that RBG has passed away.  it hit me hard.  so many things these days hit hard. 

it felt a bit like that horrible election day when trump won.  a sense of impending doom. 

before her last heart beat the asses on the right were already giddy and planning on replacing her with yet another conservative judge.  they have been very busy putting in conservatives judges these past few years....life time appointments.  many totally religious nut jobs who will alter our way of life for years to come.

they want their morals and values imposed on all.  

RBG was a huge womens rights advocate.  she helped bring on change through the cases she took on.  it wasn't that long ago that women had to have a male co-sign any loan.  couldn't have credit in their own name. she battled for equal pay, gay rights.....she wrote many dissents which may be read in later years and continue to impact our laws. 

they want to fill her seat despite the hypocrisy of it all.  they could care less about fairness or what is right, they are so power hungry at this time they will do anything to get it and keep it. when Obama was POTUS there was an opening in the court in his last year...11 months before the election i believe, but Moscow Mitch wasn't having it.  he refused to allow Obama's pick to even be looked at.  he made claims that the people must decide in the election and only then could someone be selected. 

did he know then Hillary would lose? 

anyway, with his party being in power he has laughed that this was the greatest thing he pulled off...preventing Obama his rightful selection at that time. now he smirks and says who cares how close it is to an election, who cares about the people's choice in an election year. he will do everything in his power to rush through a nominee and take full control of the court.  

why? gay rights, abortion and with an election coming up and a risk that it will be contested and brought to the highest court, he must make sure the court is stacked to keep them in power. 

i immediately dropped into a fog of depression and anxiety Friday. 

i headed for the hills.  nature and the pets are the only things keeping me going these days in many ways.  when life closes in on me, they pull me out.

i got incredibly lucky with the light these past two days.  Friday it was a late afternoon/evening run up Arctic Valley. Saturday i headed to Hatchers Pass and Independence Mine.  the fall colors are so beautiful. 

it's been an unusual year.  the good thing about covid i guess is it shakes up what is normal and forces you to alter your routines.  

there is more bad than good though and  i would have preferred to have skipped covid all together. we are at over 200,000 deaths attributed to covid.  the real count may be more.  our average deaths per year numbers are much higher than usual....no matter how much many on the right try to pretend the deaths are over stated and this virus is fake news.

they have chosen to be ignorant of it all.  it doesn't prevent the truth even if you refuse to believe it.  

if your partner is having an affair, you not believing it doesn't mean it's not true.  truth has a sticky way of making itself known eventually.  

i speak up to people and it pisses them off.  am i a hateful person or does it just piss them off because it makes them have to think about what is true for even just a minute.  they quickly return to their denial, but for a brief moment their denial is laid bare and it makes them uncomfortable.  i make people uncomfortable. 

there are those who, i suppose, unknowingly wish me failure...i mean if i have left what was safe and known from my childhood and nothing really bad happened to me then what is the truth? lightning should have struck me by now...and it hasn't.  i have some depression and anxiety, especially now but so do others who stayed.  i imagine if i'd carried on the path that was laid out for me, my depression and anxiety would be far worse.  

to have walked away and found a peace in the things i believe is a great bonus in my life.  there is peace in living your truth even if there are consequences to that truth. 

we must carry on and power forward...that is the lesson of RBG.  we must take this moment to become empowered, not feel defeated.  

we must vote, we must speak out. we must not be silent and conformist.  women are supposed to please and keep the peace.  we must be willing to annoy and rock the peace. 

my job was recently referred to as "easy" and "simple".  now i know an apology happened and the intention behind this wasn't nastiness...but i think it's women's work vs mans work.  i mean if women for generations have been doing nursing it can't be all that difficult.  if it were difficult then it would have had to have been a man's job.  

women have quietly been doing the difficult jobs for all time no doubt.  staying home and raising kids is not an easy thing to do.  i don't have kids but i can see that from even my limited experience.  their jobs were 24 hours a day/7 days a week with no breaks...ever.  

in this time of covid comments like this are even more demeaning. 

work is far more stressful because of this.  Thursday night i read work emails...apparently i had a covid exposure on Sept 11th in the ER.  now honestly, i feel like i am quite possibly exposed every day, but i'm guessing someone i worked closely with turned out to be positive.  i am wearing a mask and face shield so i'm not overly worried at this moment but it's this constant counting of time.  i am now 9 days out from that exposure. 

this stretch i worked all ICU.  i had a pretty safe pair of patients.  i felt like i had the calm in the storm.  Covid Cove has been pretty busy with Vented patients, the hospital is packed and we've had a lot of sick patients...my job is not easy or simple at all  by the way.  being in float pool does feel a bit like i have less insane assignments overall though.  i'm okay with that.  i think we've had a post labor day bump of late. 

hopefully, things calm a bit with our small tourist season coming to an end...of course, on the other hand as it gets colder people will be inside more.  will we have a worse flu season or will people tend to keep separated more and we actually have a better one overall...i suspect things will get a bit worse before it gets better. i had hoped that with each passing month we will have a better feel for covid and better treatment plans and i think this is true overall. 

there is still much we don't know but i think we know better how to protect ourselves and others.  

got some walks in between shifts.

my favorite tiny blue mushrooms...always an exciting find. 

not sure what i will do today or where i will go. guess i could have headed some place for overnights.  it's getting cold at night so i wasn't too keen on sleeping in the car or a tent.  

this can also be the time of year that he bears get a bit dicey.  they are trying to fill up before they sleep, can make them desperate and cranky. 

thankful i have survived this far.  who knows, i may have already had a mild case of covid....i suspect with my respiratory history mild won't be how i go though. 

i think getting out and walking and staying healthy is my best defense. i have felt good that the walks of late, like Spencer and Arctic Valley seemed fairly easy compared to even last year so perhaps Covid has benefitted my health overall.  

puff balls all puffed out.  i do run across a few here and there that are new.  the mushrooms time seems to be moving past us.  

fall is my favorite but it is super short.  i took a lot of photos these past few days. i've mostly just taken iphone photo's.  too lazy for the bigger camera. i still have pictures in there to look at from the past month. 

i did pull it out yesterday at Hatchers.   there was a fairly good sized group of ptarmigan at the mine.  the iphone is no good at zoom shots.  so i pulled it out.  it was a mixture of sun, rain and snow up there yesterday.  

it was pretty wet out at the time the ptarmigan showed up.  they are changing colors already as well. 

huge shelf fungi

Covid Cat has continued his adventures outside.  seems to be inside a bit more but still heads out. the other day i woke to little feathers all over downstairs.  not sure what became of the bird...eaten, taken back outside, dead in the house? 

perhaps he needs the occasional  bird in his diet.  

hunting  is in their nature. i'd prefer he not do this nor bring live things into the house.  there must have been a bit of a commotion when this happened. i can't imagine the dogs just lay there silent as he chased a bird around the house.  i slept through it all though. 

i try to be hopeful that right will win out and that the "religious right" will be found to be neither religious or right. 

Christianity in many cases...such as these crazy evangelicals, has lost it's way.  

slime fungi...

this administration is a dark time in our history.  the truth is seeping out but many just refuse to believe any of it.  they just demonize anyone who speaks out. i doubt any of them will ever believe just what a terrible jerk this potus is.  tear it down, destroy all....because they want their way to win, no matter what permanent damage is done.  hypocrisy be damned.  

they have been convinced they are victims even though they are in reality, many of the most priviledged. once people are convinced they are victims they cling on to it...especially if life hasn't turned out as rosy as they hoped it would.  easier to blame those people than to accept your own choices in life. 

well, it's now 7 am. i woke up super early...as can happen.  i will eat something i think and then head back for a few more hours sleep hopefully.  i just wasn't ready to write...i felt too distressed over the loss of RBG and the implications of the loss. 

thankful for A.  powerful women like RBG, who are not silent, who do not behave and who will be remembered for years for the strength and wisdom. B.  that things have improved as far as women's rights and gay rights and racial equality...there is still much of a battle to go though. C.  the beauty of nature and my ability to access it to improve my mental state.