knots, spiders and a busted car...

 

the knots and spiders are a direct result of the busted car.  i enjoyed my drive above and below so much down Turnigan Arm on Sunday that i opted on Tuesday to head out to Seward. the tides and weather were perfect. 

i took the pups for a walk in the neighborhood, hit a few errands and off we went. the dogs know the word, beach, so i suspect they were pretty excited!

we got past the hope cut off and suddenly i heard strange noises followed by a jerky movement as i attempted to accelerate.  i turned around immediately as i had no idea if the car would totally shut down.  figured get back as close to Anchorage as i could. 

i found the jerkiness would subside as long as i kept the car at 40mph.  so that is what i drove, with the hazard lights on. i feared stopping as i figured that would be the end of that .

Tusker in with Ivy...her first night with the pen left open as i headed to work...the pen is down now.

the last bit of the drive into Anchorage was the worst. i was stressed, tired and had to stop at lights. the car would shimmy and jerk as we idled.  G and M stopped by.  he's got a reader.  it was a 2646 error message.  from his investigation it may not be too bad.  i did have lots of oil, but now i worry that this error may have prevented the engine from getting the oil? an engine without oil is dead. 

the tow truck picked up the car this morning and the Honda folks will look at it tomorrow.  how to get to work...taxi, rent a car, beg for rides.  undecided at this point.  guess it kind of depends on how bad the cars' injury is and how long it may be in the shop. 

all very stressful of course.  this has led to a lot of knots and a lovely headache today.  i also awoke early to a spider nightmare!

can't recall exactly but i think in the dream they said they could fix it but i'd have to get rid of the spider nest...of course, as i went to check on the nest to dismantle it all of the baby spiders had hatched and i was covered in spiders.  hard to fall back asleep after that one. 

so more seriously looking at car options last night and today  

still hoping the Element will have some life left in it.  need something dependable though. above is a rock that was left on the chairs that i saw as i headed into work..below...part of the when it rains in pours. 

that is how life is right? anytime you believe you are starting to get ahead, something breaks down or gets injured or whatever.  so is it dog-water heater-car or is it water heater-car and something else to come? 

life just has a way of showing you that you are not in charge. 

this is a moose that visited the other day. they usually slink through unnoticed but this one we noticed. 

i have seen him in the bog a few times. it was a different moose in the bog today.  the one today was laying right off the trail.  amazing that these fairly large animals can disappear.  i saw the moose because of the direction i was walking on the trail.  if i had been coming the other direction that moose would have been well hidden. i did see a guy with his dog headed that way and warned him that the moose was there.

so i was short on my steps yesterday for sure.  i still feel guilty that the dogs were ripped off of their day trip to Seward. 

cars....minivans, suv's, vans....not sure yet.  starting to lean a bit towards a basic van.  i could deck it out a bit for camping and have plenty of room for the dogs.  some of the basic ones are much more reasonable then the suv's.  the dogs do not need heat and video games in the back.  there are too many bells and whistles on some of these new vehicles. just more stuff to break down. 

trying to find the equivalent of the Element.  there isn't really anything.  you would think they would be doing more to remake such a popular car.  we are dog lovers!!

was trying to nap in hopes the headache would abate...so far no luck.  

temps are in the negatives through the night and then bounce back up into the 20's during the day.  30's even...so the melt is slowly happening.  there is a lot to melt.  i'm okay with the slow melt though as it will help prevent flooding in the crawl space below the house. 

the street that you see coated in snow above and below is now mostly free of any ice or snow in the middle.  the piles of snow are shorter.

what shoes to wear.  i had on my rubber boots yesterday but when i stopped by the conservation center before the car broke down...it was windy and icy.  the wrong boots for that.  fun to watch the big brown bears for a few minutes. the big guy was playing with the other bears, but he was too lazy to stand up to fight so he was scootching on his butt on the ice to move around. 

watched a bit more of the Scientology stuff.  it is just more cult like, especially for those who sign up to work in the churches SeaOrg...they sign Billion year commitments.  even the teens that join do. that is nuts in it self.  who signs a billion year commitment? 

life in the SeaOrg seems the most controlled and crazy.  for a time they decided kids were too inconvenient and would encourage/push abortions over having kids.  what religion pushes abortions?  

cults and religions share a bit and it can be fuzzy....so i'm sure many religions are terrified to join a battle against Scientology. what will it reveal about them?  

signs of a cult....things like the leader is authoritarian at many levels.  they may call themselves various things but they use tactics to make you let go of your critical thinking, common sense, family, money...all in hopes of some eternal thing. if you can't criticize a leader of an organization...you have to wonder if you are in a cult.  

apparently, the current leader of Scientology beats up physically and emotionally those around him.  he's even been known to punish by locking up people and there is some who seem to have been disappeared into the organization not to be seen again....like his wife. 

cults prevent you from thinking on your own.  perhaps you no longer allow basic education and instead insist that children learn only from the words you allow.  again, suppress critical thinking. also suppress individual thinking. it doesn't matter if the individual is happy or fulfilled, there is a bigger power and you must sacrifice. in the case of the Scientology SeaOrg they will be called suppressive if they are caught consuming other information, looking on the internet, speaking to those who have left the organization.  

which is another sign...trashing those who have left.  Scientology and Jehovahs witnesses shun or otherwise suppress any relationships with those who have left.  the hope is to discredit them and perhaps to drive them back in because they are so lonely and depressed without their families. suicides are not uncommon.  many religions do this at some level.  put a wall up between those who have stayed and those who have left.  in a cult it is just more pronounced. the Scientologists spend millions harassing outspoken past members or anyone who investigates them.  they are quick to call someone an enemy and to use any and all means to tear them down. 

fear of anything and anyone on the outside...this is common again in many religions and more pronounced in cults.  cults love conspiracy theories, end of world thought processes and victimhood.  these are common these days even in the political arena.  the former one could have easily put himself in a position of cult leader...he already has followers that are totally devoted to him and donate all they have and are willing to cut off family....

it would not be a stretch for him to just morph into a new cult leader.  

cult leaders are above the law...doesn't that sound familiar!!  bad behavior is excused or just ignored.  the end justifies the means kind of thinking. 

shame and threats keep people from leaving.  fear of reprisal in this life and in the next. 

members are fed information at such a level and using techniques that make it impossible for them to believe otherwise at some point.  brainwashing.  serious queries are met with magical responses.

this was common even in my quest to learn more of the religion i was raised in.  cliche answers like we are not meant to know all here on earth, things will be more clear later, that somehow you are a bad person for even asking such questions.  

oddly the responses to the intense questions do not adapt to the age of the person asking the question.  the responses remain simplistic not matter what age and education level you are.  i would have thought that the answers that were so simplistic were only meant to help children understand but you find if you ask those same questions later in life you will get the child level response. 

quests and secret rituals that put you in the inner group....make you believe that you are rising in the cult and are therefore valued in some way...only to discover that you are really just being more controlled by these rituals and secrets. 

cult leaders living like rock stars, hidden finances...money not being spent in the service of others but instead only in the service of the leadership or the cult itself. 

isolation is key to most cults...the only contacts outside are at the expressed purpose of attempting to bring in more members. 

anyone can be sucked in.  like i said, many well known religions dance with the cult like behaviors so it's doubtful they would want to speak out against an actual cult. may come back to bite them and prevent their own members from donating time and money and remaining as loyal to their organizations. 

the further along i get in life the more i see that many of these religions are nothing more than corporations.  some are more generous than others with the money they take in but most are more about collecting money than saving souls. it's pretty sad really. 

Ivy knows how to relax. 

religions and cults are fascinating really.  in many ways a means to control the masses. 

sadly, many destroy lives and family units through their tactics.  good intentions often lead to bad behavior. that happens in non-profits, corporations, religions, houses...look at all the folks who try to help animals only to end up drowning in hundreds of cats or dogs or both.  it probably started with helping one or two animals and next thing you know it's out of control and the animals end up in abusive situations.  

time to do some chores around the house i guess...no car for a few days at least.  the Skelly's need a new look. the deck is a mess.  the whole house is a mess really.  i need to move out of rooms, clear them out and start over...will i actually do that? don't hold your breath.  

thankful for A.  safe passage home  B.  the many years of dependable service my element has given me.  with over 160,000 miles it was bound to have a few glitches.  C. continued healing for Ivy and myself.  i can even wander around the house without the knee support.  i still wear it for walks and work. 

Happy Easter i guess...

 

nearly ready to turn in for the night. will toss in a few words and photo's. 

start towards finishing March before i head to April and beyond. 

we are moving a bit more out of the bog except between shifts.  i've also moved away from the 3 short walks. it's a bit icier out there so i'd rather be more cautious about where we head out to. 

her new bionic knee is doing great. the other knee is sore at times.  need to refill the cbd oil i think. seems to help.  whatever i can do to prolong the next surgery or avoid it would be great.  then part of me thinks how good the first knee looks and how it would be good for her to have both done at some point.  such a hassle and tough for her and me both. 

as you can see from above she is back on the bed and couch.  the pen was actually taken down last night. 

on my last two nights of work, Tusker was in the pen with her as the gate has been open unless i head to work.  it was a sign of solidarity.  on my last night of work i just left him in there and the pen open.  

we all survived. can't keep her penned up forever.  the other leg will just do what the other leg will do.  

i closed the notebook after week 8 was complete...so no longer keeping dutiful notes of everything. 

i think she loves having her freedom.  loves hanging with the other critters and loves  being able to just go out and sit on the deck.  

this was a walk we took as she was at the vet getting her final xrays.  we are nearly 2 weeks out from that. i still walk her on leash for the walks.  

trying to find the new normal. 

yesterday we took a drive after we did a loop in N. Biv.  drove down to portage lake and back.  that lake is still frozen and people are still walking/skiing/biking back to the glacier.  seems like it could be pretty dicey at this point and i have heard of some falling in and needing to be rescued i guess.  it must have been frozen this time in 1964 when the big quake hit.  that hit on good friday.  there were folks out there and they had to make their way off the lake through some broken up ice. of course, the glacier would have been much closer at that time. now it's a good 2-3 miles walk one way across the lake to get back there.

below is a SH selfie. she is queen of the selfies. 

Ivy on the bed.  

she seems pretty sure she is back to normal.  bringing me the tennis ball a bit more now. 

we aren't there yet.  

so cute to watch them walk together. between shifts i even braved walking them together down patterson...they actually did really pretty well.  i had treats.  we stop often and she tends to sit which means i can do her sit to stand exercises as we walk. 

her post xray. 

this week i worked ER-ICU-ICU. kept busy.  was tired when i got home and it's actually still quite cold in the mornings, then warms in the afternoon and snow begins to melt again.  i'm happy with this slow melt as it will help prevent flooding. 

got a new water heater put in the day i headed to work so not much sleep that day. 

i've been watching Leah Remini's program on Netflix.  some of these "religions" are insane. Scientology is even more nuts.  such a secret, paranoid group.  total scam...they take all their members money, could care less about them.  have learned more about the whole crazy set up and the abuses.  that one is for sure a cult.  she also did one episode about Jehovah's Witnesses because they have some cult like tendencies.  any group that requests you to cut off from the outside world should be concerning.  

the JW's do it with shunning...the Scientologists have a whole sub-organization of taking on their perceived enemies..which had got to be hard to keep track of. super organized and seemingly a lot to try to hide.  any organization that feels the need to hide who they really are is another big red flag.  these groups take full advantage of their tax exempt status.  it's insane, then many of them do not even use all the money they collect to actually do any real Christian good works.  instead they just re-invest it all, buy properties.  anything but help their fellow man.  

hard to imagine people getting sucked in and then giving away their money.  

how much money does God really need?  how much wealth does God need to accumulate?  many do not help their own members when times get rough.  i doubt Scientology is giving their subjects a break on purchasing classes due to covid and the economic trials.  they just harass their members to take out loans even to get them money to buy more and build more.  empty buildings mostly. they don't seem to have any regular church services like one would expect

i think, any time you leave any well organized/all encompassing religion you will find yourself isolated from the family...these two organizations take that to the most dramatic levels. 

i know for me with Mormonism.  it was mostly unsaid.  i left and i wasn't openly shunned or barred from contact.  i do recall there were times i flew in to visit and i would be told that i should come to church with them....that was where they were going to be if i wanted to hang with them.  it was more subliminal. i didn't though.  that was the end of that really.  

Mormons do not seem to be very confrontational.  they prefer to get along and put their best face forward. i've not doubt that leaving has put a gap that will never be filled between us.  again, nothing like what many in groups such as the JW's and scientology have to deal with.  

religion is always interesting...and i suspect always on the verge of cults.  a lot of control and a lot of threats, many unspoken really or just of things in the next life..or like the JW's of armageddon and being killed off. 

liked this one of Tusker with the light.  that was on one of the morning walks in the bog.

above is Ivy's first trek up on the couch.  

and here, Miss Breezy Chatterbug is giving her some love. 

need to try and sit down and do the taxes this stretch. i know they've given an extension but i'd rather just get them done. 

need to seriously consider flooring and i do occasionally look at various car options.  

my art work in the snow. won't be long until it's mud out there.

still seeing some little tracks out there. the critters are going about their business.  

i did have a moose visitor the other day.  mostly the large mammals just wander through the neighborhoods here unnoticed but the other day i think the dogs perked up...so i peeked out front and there was a young moose nibbling on the brush by the front deck.  i've seen that young male in the bog as well.  must have just gotten kicked out by mom.  they do that...getting about time to have the next one and let the last kids fly.  

she could have been killed or died as well.  hit by a car or just starved, old age? regardless, there does seem to be a young male moose hanging nearby.  

do love the morning light even if the cold is a bit jarring after a long night of work.  

tough to convince myself to walk but i do always enjoy it once i'm out there.

ivy still requests to be let in at times.  perhaps the dog door isn't all that comfortable for her.  

this was a moose in the dog park a few weeks back. haven't braved that with Ivy yet.

this is another young moose but this one was at the dog park with the above moose. 

we had heard there were two moose out there.  move a bit slowly until you figure out where the moose are located.

random anxiety...so bizarre...no reason just started to feel anxious. redirect myself and head to bed soon. it should pass. 

the end result of a year of covid.  many more feelings of anxiety.  

Ivy and Tusker both have to stop at times and pull snow out of their paws.

from that show last month...great few minutes.

probably should just head to bed and relax.  

thankful for A. longer days B. snuggle time with the critters C. that i was raised Mormon and not a JW or scientologist.