the puking has ceased the headache has calmed....

 

i do get quite a few small headaches, but it's pretty rare that one takes me out like this one did.  i have knots that go from under my shoulder blades, up over both shoulders and then up my neck.  the left side on my shoulder is still huge compared to the other side. sore for sure. 

i started puking right before i headed to work.  i should have just called out.  i got by with a little help from my co-workers.  worked ICU these past few nights.  it was good that the second night when i had the headache and nausea all night i had the same patients. 

i didn't even bother to take any food with me to work.  after all that puking there seemed no point.  i managed 1/2 a saltine and a few sips of sprite/water the first half of the shift.  one co-worker, an RT friend, came around twice the second time finally broke up the major knot enough that i was able to drink some broth.  ate a few triskets with cheese for breakfast.  

by this afternoon i was able to eat.  all nausea finally gone. i really hate puking, i may hate being nauseated more though. 

called out tonight.  still had the headache...and was exhausted.  the headache has released quite a bit now.

never like calling out, but our job does involve keeping people alive so it always seems better to make sure you are on your  game. 

many of these are from a day trip to Seward. 

not sure why i'm writing.  just needed to get out of bed for a bit.  have done tennis ball time in the yard several times today.  

never made it out for a dog walk...never even showered today.  seemed little point to it.  was beautiful out there.

have been happy to just get a few calories in me.

otherwise, it's been a day of sleep, tennis ball tossing and Gilmore Girls. 

the yard folks came yesterday.  so the clean up is done.  nice to let others do that...may have to do that every year. 

i have many more rocks now, ready to be painted.  it's a small enough art project to keep my attention for a bit. 

my favorites are the sea kayakers...will have to do more of those in the future...maybe make it my trademark rock!!

this rainbow showed up in the photo.  strange.  very cool though. the pets at the rainbow bridge must have come en masse to visit us that day.  

two dogs on a stick

a few at the local beaches as well. 

the GOP will spend millions to investigate benghazi, election results, hillary...but they don't want to look into what happened at the capital on Jan 6...no shock there i guess but it's all so ridiculous, sorry. 

my heart does go out to people who have regular migraines and horrible headaches.  i know many who do.  it's a miserable thing.  happy this only really takes me out once every few years.

the bears are out and the moose are starting to drop babies.  life starts to really get interesting around here this time of year.

already one bear mauling reported in the paper.  guy was working.  i think somewhere closer to Tok. he survived to tell the tale apparently.  

left some ashes at the beach here. i still do that from time to time.  always carry some ashes with me.  seems fitting to have the old pups still along out there on the trails. 

as you get older the reality hits you.  as a single person, most of my household items will be ditched upon my death.  things that mattered to me won't matter one bit to others.  so seems better to carry the ashes with me and scatter them slowly.  i'm sure i'll hold back some to keep a little of them all with me always. i've had some big dogs though so that is a lot of ashes.  Butch, my sweet boy is forever in Ketchikan.  no decent options for cremation in the bush.  

Ivy is enjoying her new freedoms.  we still take it easy.  i try to lob it to her.  if she shows any signs of discomfort the ball gets put away and she gets some CBD oil or some other treatment for pain.  

want to keep her going as long as possible and as comfortable as possible.  

it's all about quality of life for these furs.  i don't want any of them to suffer just so i can hang on longer.  hoping this surgery has improved her life a bit.  

not keen on doing the second leg at this time. will just play it month by month/year by year.

so far she seems to be managing.  longer hikes/difficult hikes probably out for her though. 

i want to get back to the pool.  i have always enjoyed swimming and it's good for you.  great for the joints. 

Miss Breezy is settling into one of the dog toy boxes.  she loves all the snuggly toys...it's funny though because as she gets settled in you hear the occasional squeak from the dog toys 

wild beast going up the mountain.  Tusker takes the hill

old relics from days past on the beach at Lowell pt.

my mind is a bit scattered. will crash for the night here soon.  had to put in my pto so i was on the computer anyway....so blog.

love strange roots in odd places. 

will be back to Homer my next stretch off...then i promise i will find some new locations to play and vary up the photo's. 

so many places i'd love to return to.  always southeast AK...so pretty.  have been thinking of Kayak Island too.  so pretty and so much to see on those beaches. 

mostly, i love hanging out with these furs.

hopefully, i get more accomplished tomorrow and i can put another bad headache behind me.  again...happy this happens only once a year or once every few years. 

end with the two happy dogs with their stick.  back to tennis balls tomorrow. 

thankful for A.  two co-workers that took the time to work out my worst knots last night at work B.  that the puking and nausea are gone C. for my furs who always keep me entertained and smiling. 

where are the mushrooms....?

 it's been so dry our mushrooms have not had the opportunity to appear.  so sad to have an August that is nearly absent of mushrooms. I've never seen it like this before.

 through in some pics from June...we at least had flowers.

 and baby ducks.

 these are from a hike out Gold Mint.

 i am slowly getting my day started. should do the bill paying and then head out walking with the pups.  i will probably pay the bills later though and get out into the sun.  doesn't seem too smokey today, which is a bonus.

 the fire north is doing better, the fire south had grown again so the roads south have been sketch, off and on, pilot cars through.

 feeling like those on the right supporting this administration must be in a bit of a quandary.  must have to compromise their values and morals a lot in order to excuse supporting this beast.  as we watch Carter recover from hip surgery and head back out to donate his time for others, we watch trump continue on the path he has been on his entire life...the path of me and me alone.

 he failed to show up to a G-7 meeting about climate change, because it's better for him to play the "i don't believe in climate change game".  as is typical he lied about where he was.

 he is promoting one of his hotels which has been faltering for next years G-7 meeting...claims he doesn't care about the money and/or won't make money. more lies...but his followers look away from who he really is.  i mean how could you really look at this pathetic man and still embrace him.  it's all for their agenda.  they get some of what they want so they are willing to look the other way at his racist speech, his demeaning of others, his many, many lies.  his emoluments infractions, his obstruction, his cozying up with put.  look away, pretend none of it is real.  believe the lies and conspiracy theories and excuses drummed up on the right propaganda machine. 

 they make up lies to make Obama seem like a terrible person, he isn't.  like how i felt about Bush, despite them not agreeing with him, overall he is a decent person, overall he respects the office he held.  overall, he did attempt to be inclusive over being exclusive.  this fool does none of that.

 they will have to live with what they compromised in order to get their way.  they will have to live with who they put at risk in order to get their way.  as he trashes gays and trans and does all he can to make their lives more difficult and more at risk...as more commit suicide because of feeling alone, because of attacks against who they are at their core.  his latest was asking the court to make it easier to allow gays to be fired.  yet, when you speak to his supporters they just love everything he does...perhaps they should really start examining everything he is doing before they give him their support 100%

 if pushed they will grudgingly admit that trump is a terrible person..but they are getting their agenda.  that is making a deal with the devil to get a what they want...is that really how one should get their way...by allowing the Devil to lead them?

 i get that the right is frustrated and feeling like they are being left behind...but what is being left behind in a society...?  it really is a failure to adapt. societies are constantly adapting.  their religions have adapted repeatedly with the changes in societies.  that is just how it goes.  some people take change very hard.  this is just what happens when those folks who lack the skills to adapt have joined together in a last ditch effort to maintain the status quo, which brings them comfort. 

 our nation has adapted repeatedly.  there are some adaptations that are not good but overall, i think they have been good. hanging onto the last vestiges of a better world for whites but a worse world for the rest is a losing game

 our society has some major issues to confront that go way beyond color and/or gender issues. 

 we have a great many folks who feel entitled.  we have far too many who are caught up in drugs and alcohol and not working.  we have far too many who have a great deal of debt after attempting to get college degrees, we have made doing manual labor out to be beneath the common American citizen.  we have too many who are lost in their worlds of on line gaming.  too many who seem to be losing their ability to interact with others, to have empathy. 

 we have allowed hate to be embraced and spread.  our evangelical population is morphing into a radicalized group.  we have mass killings that are going unchecked...in my opinion these are nothing less than suicide bombings for the most part.  most of those perpetrating these acts are white males, many leaning towards Trumpism and/or white supremacy. 

 it's a sickness that is building while many other Christians on the right choose to look the other way because they can't fathom Christians radicalizing.  that is only something that happens with Muslims in their minds...why?  because in their hearts, whether they care to admit it or not, they are better than them.  white Christians are better than brown skinned Muslims.

 hell, the way they have zero empathy for their brown skinned Christians to the south of us....they just don't want to see it because they don't want to believe it in themselves.  they aren't at all racist...they fancy themselves not prejudiced, but there it is.  actions speak loudly, by your works they shall know you.  who do you support?  what agenda do you support? who does it hurt the most? 

 it isn't that i believe all these Christians following trump are racists, but they all are choosing to excuse a racist in the highest office, to excuse those he surrounds himself with who have a long history of racism.  excusing the behaviour and looking the other way makes you accountable as well...eventually.  at some point we must all stand up and say...this is too far, this is too much.  it's one thing to want a  stronger immigration policy...it's another to specify select certain persons as being more desired.  to look at the big picture and glow but to ignore all the details that are being used to get you there is disingenuous.  the devil is in the details as it is said. 

 it's the same with the environment.  it's one thing to in general want less government regulations, but it is another all together to look away as those in power destroy all the science and protections in a sweeping fashion without one thought to the future...all they care about is the money and supporting those who have money in order to get them more money. 

 we hear the desperate attempts at excuses. they are weak, much like the leader is.  they know that in their hearts.  they do all they can to ignore the tweets and the crazy speeches, choosing to believe none of that matters, that words do not matter. 

 we are already destroyed though.  our position our power at this point is only in what we have the power to do to others through our military might.  we have lost our moral and ethical battle and now rely only on threats and demands.  our allies have stepped back and away. 

 this fool is not respected...how have you convinced yourself of that.  China does not respect him..they are simply waiting him out.  they don't concern themselves with the suffering of their poorest citizens.  they will just wait.  NK, PUt, saudi's...they just know that in order to maintain the fools good graces they need only stroke his ego.  this may play out on conservative talk shows as some sort proof of respect, but if you believe that you are a fool.  trump would be a fool to be laughed at alone except for the fact that he holds the power of war in his tiny hands.  they don't respect him, they do respect he power we have foolishly given him. 

 it doesn't matter what he does or says at this point.  they have bought into his rubbish.  they believe his promises even when they do not come true...they believe the excuses for that or simply play the blame game. it's all the Dems fault or the liberals fault or the fault of Obama.  they will blame any and all over actually seeing the failings of this fool in chief. 

 it's sadly easy to see how these horrible events in history happen now.  people who feel left out as the world moves forward become angry and fearful...these emotions make them incredibly easy to manipulate to believe and/do anything you want.

 some cope better with change, others become desperate when change happens too fast.  they can't cope and they spiral into a state of panic.  it doesn't take much to redirect that fear and panic...it just takes a person or a group of persons who can harness that.  they, of course, stay safe through all the mayhem they create.  like a puppeteer, they stand above and laugh as they make the puppets dance for them. 

 don't be a puppet.  don't be manipulated.  don't compromise your values and ethics and morals for the promise of a return to the old world order. 

 wake up....

 these are flowers along the highway towards Seward.  above was at the AWCC

 the domestic terrorists are seeded in the right.  the white supremacists are seeded in the right.  you choose whether to accept this or to fight it...so far the far right has accepted that in order to win they must accept the terrorists and supremacists.  they can't win without them...so instead they look the other way.

 so we move past the last suicide bombers with assault rifles and await the next terrorist attack from within. 

 we see that those who flew planes into the towers have successfully caused enough discord that we will implode and they no longer need to intervene.  fear and panic have made our own citizens rise up against us. fear and panic have made other citizens silence their concerns over the fool that is their leader and his many tweets and insane comments. 

 the other odd thing is that those on the far right always speak of less big government but they have now put their full trust in this mad man to control all.  they are fine with him taking over their lives at the highest level because they fear life without a savior. he has become their last great white hope. 

 it's pretty sad that this fool is all they have to hang onto.

 but there it is....

 he ordered businesses to stop doing business with China...even though his MAGA crap is all made in China...despite his daughters line of clothing being made in China.  he can do whatever and they look away.  the great white hope....the rest be dammed.

 as he has now stated, even if it was somewhat jokingly...he is the chosen one....he also said, correctly apparently, that he could shoot someone in broad daylight and his followers would not break from him...sadly that is true as well.  there seems to be no action that they will not excuse or look away from. their devotion is complete.

 Rus is taking the reigns on the Arctic...we are ceding it.  China will take the gap left by us in the global economy because we are ceding it. 

 perhaps that is enough bitching for one morning.  it does nothing but remove it all from my brain for the day.  it's all pretty depressing. for me, knowing that many in my family have fallen into the trump spell.  that they look away from the madness and instead only see some rose colored version of the truth that is broadcast daily on conservative talk shows. 

 flowers are gone, mushrooms never appeared...we wait for the return of the silence and peace of winter.

 hoping it comes and prior to winter we get a September full of rain to kill off these fires.  it's been a summer of flames.  the arctic is on fire. 

 hopefully, the earth will find a way to save itself.  we sadly will lose many great and beautiful species before the earth rights itself.  we may lose a great deal of humans.  we are clearly over do for a species die off.  humans are as susceptible as any other species to have a die off.  rising temperatures, more dramatic weather patterns, rising seas, famine, disease...we think ourselves the powerful ones on this earth, but in truth the other animals are much more resilient than us.  we have adapted to a point of being soft.

 the pups had a great time romping in all the flowers..of course, they didn't really notice the flowers.  they are beauty impaired. 

 they just chase the ball. 

 i will soon be flinging it again for them.  that is what they live for.  i seem to live to make them happy, for when they are happy i am happy too. 

 i trust them.  dogs are loyal and accepting of you.  they have few opinions.

 i have a few days off work so i shall get out there and enjoy it. 

 in Seward this day. 

thankful for: A. sleep B. all the amazing dogs i have shared my life with...it's National Dog Day  C.  rain...we had just a wee bit last night but I'll take it