everything will be alright in the end....

 ...and if it isn't, it's not yet the end! from, "the best exotic marigold hotel".  i am on call so it's risky to attempt to write my blog.  one never knows what happens at the hospital while i sit innocently at home.  i'm on call for the adult icu. i guess soon if i ever get on call again, it will be for a larger chunk of the hospital.  so i shall enjoy whatever call time i have now.  not sure how it all works out.  this was a good movie for me to watch. there are some movies that just remind you to not go into things with expectations and to just let life take you where it will.

 that is the attitude that will bring you the most happiness.  still i am one to stress a bit during the transition period when things are up in the air.  so it's good to keep that thought in my head...everything will be alright in the end...and if it isn't, it's not yet the end.

 today i slept, no walk.  did toss the toy for blossom a bit and picked up dog poop.  so exciting is my life. i slept hardly at all yesterday.  i was really tired.  since i couldn't sleep yesterday i took the dogs to the bog and made chicken noodle soup.  this first pictures are from the walk i took with the dogs out gasline to powerline to tank trail.  it was a foggy day so we came in and out of the fog.  rio makes her way across the little creek on the powerline part of the trail.

 was wondering if the cairn artist was out there..but just the one cairn.  probably someone else.

 could use a night off, it's been awhile.  kept busy the last few nights.  got a patient in the middle of the night the other night that kept me busy.  she looked like a corpse really, but then she woke up.  amazing really, when that happens.  you think it's over for someone, but when it's not your time it's not your time.  we had another guy several weeks back.  his heart had stopped a few times i think, in another place they had called it over and left him.  guess he began to breath again and someone noticed. the plan was to withdraw and remove his tubes...again for me i noted that he was opening his eyes and then soon was following me around the room with his eyes.   saw his family in the hospital the other day, they didn't recognize me, but that is a sure sign that the guy is still on the earth.  one has to wonder how many lights or visions a guy like that saw in all that time not being alive.  strange.

 love a foggy sun.

 after that phone call the other night i really imagined it was all over the place that i was changing over to the float pool.  hardly anyone said anything or seemed to know when i got to work.  some people just talk with such authority you find yourself believing everything they say.  normally, i would have blown the words off, but i suck them in more as i'm stressed a bit in the transition stage.  not sure how the road is laid out before me.

 watched a thing on tv about jones town and the mass murder/suicide.  mostly, i'd say murder though.  so sad.  over 900 people gone.  cults.  it's always amazing how people can be made to believe things that it seems any rational person wouldn't believe...but many of them are rational people.  they just want and need to hear a certain thing at a certain time i guess.  we need to believe, to think we know.  i think even often we need to feel superior and a cult usually fills those needs, to be right and therefore superior somehow.  it's not often we are right or superior in this world.  mostly we feel wrong and inferior.

 we make choices, we live with the results of those choices.  i think as long as you live true to yourself, take responsibility for your choices and try not to choose from a place of fear you will be fine.  i'm probably pretty good at this in all areas except relationships.  i suspect i have too much fear in that area of my life.  fear of rejection, fear of not being good enough, accepted.  fear of failure.  we are mostly our own worst enemies.  we are the only thing that holds us back.

 dogs have no such concerns.  i try to emulate the dogs.  the only thing blossom seems to fear is the vet.

 rio goes through the world blind and she still blunders forth, trusting.

 the fog dropped down more as i left the trail.

 i was having a great time trying to get pictures of the droplets with the macro.

 seems like there is always something fascinating in the world, you just have to be open to it...see another thing i should take from this world and put into action in my life as a whole.

 i could see the world in these little droplets.  hard to hold still enough and i'm always too lazy to carry around a tripod so it's a practice in patience for me.

 rio likes that i stop often. blossom is tolerant of my need to take pictures. it's all she knows i guess.

 if i don't get called in i will have to attempt to check out the costumes at the ski for women tomorrow.  then maybe walk the dogs out to the dunes again.

 not holding my breath though.

 the yukon quest is starting.  it's a less known about long sled dog race.  hugh neff won last year which i was happy about.  this one runs from whitehorse in the yukon territory on up to fairbanks for the finish.  not sure even if they left today saturday or if they leave next saturday.  a few will run both races.  mackey is the first and only to win both this and the iditarod in the same year.  he's running this year again as well.  neff is defending though.

 you can see the trail in the drop above.

 can't believe how tired i am tonight.  would need to grab some sort of caffiene if i got called in.  i'm still consuming very minimal amounts of any soda...and chips.  not sure i see any weight loss, but i'd be happy with a lower cholesterol level for my efforts.

 just some close ups from the trail.

 lichen and fungi.

 and peeling bark.

 this is from the bog yesterday. you can see all the magpies in the trees.  that usually means there is something dead around.  never saw anything, did note what looked like a hawk that flew over while i was out there. i wasn't quick enough with my camera.

 trees and mountains...today was a pretty day as well.  just too sleepy.

 had a patient with ptsd ( post traumatic).  i felt badly cause the bed he had would make these noises that when i thought about it sounded like gun fire in the distance...probably very comforting when you are trying to sleep and have ptsd from war service.

 these are for quinton...i got my socks!!!  my friend quinton knitted these lovely socks for me.  i wore them to work last night and they were so comfy!!  my first ever pair of home knit socks...THANKS!!  if you like any for your blog just right click them quinton!!  i have never tried to take photo's of socks before, i know i don't do them justice!  very cool though, right!!

 my scrub pants were a little different colour green, but i'm a fan of green no matter what shade it is.

 quinton also made me this incredible scarf. i love the colours.  again....the scarf colours are awesome and the wearer doesn't do the scarf justice.  just wanted to share these fabulous gifts with everyone...who doesn't love homemade gifts!!  not to knock gift cards, cause they have their place, but you can't ever improve upon a gift that someone used time and thought to put together.

 was just trying to show off the scarf more...but also see what i would have looked like had i been raised in a country where women were required to wear a head covering.  i think i will stick to wearing my scarves around my neck in public.

 a girl always loves a silly photo session though.

 here i am in a more silly shot.  there is that nose!!  anyway...the scarf and socks are great...thanks quinton!!

will attempt to get a little rest.  hope i can sleep and hope i will wake if the phone rings..which is generally why i have a hard time sleeping when i'm on call...fear that i will miss the call to come in.

round island 8...

another loved fox photo. have alot of fox in here today. i was near the flat rock lookout with my macro lens out taking flowers, lichens and whatever when this guy cruised right up to me. just me and the fox. he obliged me with a lovely photo session. he kept circling around me, looking all foxy! so today is fox and flowers!
and a shot of me taken by karen for me with my camera. thought it came out nicely...thanks karen.
so the fox are sandwiched in with the flowers and other macro shots. was happy to capture this grass above as the winds always blow and the plants like to move with the wind. imagine that!
some in black and white. it's always fun to see what turns out with that macro lens. did not have that option all those years ago. plus with the digital i felt free to snap away more. with a planned 5-6 rolls of film/day you have to conserve your shots. with digital the limits are batteries.
we had no shortage of rain drops on the flowers as well.
my leg is looking better and better. was debating hitting a different trail today, but headed back to the dog park. tomorrow i need to get up early enough to get to the dog jog. it benefits friends of pets and looks like it's at east high this year so closer to my house. no excuses. rio was adopted from friends of pets up here so i like to support them. not sure if any of them remember her, but it seems like she tends to make an impression on everyone she meets. can't tell you how often i've been out on a trail somewhere in anchorage and people ask, "is that that blind dog?".
a girl i know at the dog park was telling me today that while i was out of town she ran into rio at the dog park i the morning with michelle and then later that day she was over at cheney lake and ran into blossom with lena over there. same day...how strange is that? saw another couple i know when i arrived. i looped around then looped back and they just laughed as they hadn't ever moved from where i left them. the dog was happy swimming there i guess.
another beautiful day here in anchorage. supposed to last through the weekend. we shall see.
came home and elevated the leg for a bit. like i said, much better. i just felt better today. the walk in the dog park has been tiring for me all week, today it felt pretty close to normal. hopefully that continues to be the case. i was sharing my ugly calf with bob and tanya and sandra at dinner tonight. val had selected this place, "crush". it's a place for wine tasting that also serves food. that menu could have been in french for all i know. spendy, small portions and you weren't quite sure what would show up. i needed an interpreter. sometimes places just try to be too over the top fancy. bob and i decided next time we'll chose mcdonalds or ihop or something. fun to get together. bummer val couldn't make it after all.
go the sheets washed so i love fresh sheet night. i suppose if i were filthy rich every night could be fresh sheet night,but then again,that is a horrible waste of water. how dirty can a bed get in one night...wait...don't answer that!
i still think i banged up the leg out there on round island or on transit back. we were dirty and who knows what stuff could have been introduced to even the tiniest of breaks in the skin surface.
loved the lichen below. such a beautiful red colour.
watched a bit of the olympic opener tonight. mostly the parade of teams coming through. always amazed by the nations that i must admit to not knowing of. these tiny teams which participate with really no hope of winning medals, but still they come. teams like the us and russia must seem a bit daunting to some, but i think the cool part is that these smaller nations still participate. there are always just some cool and inspiring stories. some nations are in the midst of wars and still a few athletes are able to find a way to show up. what an inspiration to their war torn nations and a hope for a future better than their past.
also a few nations have included women on their teams that weren't included before which always makes me happy. there is still so many women in this world who have so little power in their lives.
more lichen.
chocolate lily.
requisite bee shot. haha.
aahh...the fox.
thought the lighting of olympic cauldron was cool and loved as well that the workers who helped build the complexes were honored as they were. i'm sure they worked hard to get london ready for these olympics. so awesome to see them line the path for the torch. the fireworks display was pretty impressive as well.
he got pretty close to me on several occasions. i just stayed on the ground and let him check me out while i snapped away. so cool. how often does one get a private photo session with a fox?
i have always been a fan of these red fox. they are so cute.
paul mccartney sang at the end of the ceremony. was kinda cool that no matter how famous he is and how many huge events he's sang at you can tell he was a bit overwhelmed on this day. gotta say love the beatles and mccartney but that dude is getting old. he kinda looked like an old lady i thought. i know i'm horrible for saying it. i doubt he would really care about my opinion anyway and i'm pretty sure he'll never read my blog so i'm not too worried about it getting back to him and him being offended.
and i have no idea who designed the team outfit for england, but yuck! school boy shorts and that gold crap. just checked out this best and worst dressed teams page. actually kinda funny. they didn't really like germany's outfit, but the fact that the germans dressed in silly outfits was so refreshing they put them on the best of list. i think it was the swiss in orange pants?? not sure, but they also went on the best of list because while none of us could pull off orange pants, they could. the americans outfits were made in china...oops! what is it with americans and the berets. they seem to do that every year?
this little fox is not concerned with the olympics or any other events other than whether he can kill enough meat for his little fox family. a very simple life. not an easy life though. these guys are impressive for they can zip up and down steep cliffs in search of eggs and birds. ran into one near the bird area where it was quite steep. came up on him on the trail. he just turned and bounded straight down without a care.
none of us ever saw those dang kits but i figured the fish and game people had been there all summer and they'd just had the one sighting while we were there. i watched one take his gull up the hill. lost him up there, but obviously a den up that way.
did watch all of "big miracle" last night. liked it. gotta love a whale movie. not sure it's one i must add to my library, but always fun to watch one actually filmed here. i guess some in the lower 48 didn't like how the natives were portrayed? seemed pretty normal to me. loved that the one older guy just tells them all to applaud so the white dude will shut up. they are a fun people but they aren't always the most chatty, they are observing though. when they were filming up here the movie was called, "everybody loves whales". got changed before it got released. haven't heard anything about my show? may have to pop over to the travel channel site and see if it's listed yet. hmm..
the front of the fox...
and the back. love those huge fluffy tails. i'm pretty sure that is an adaptation for balance like the snow leopard.
is someone getting bored with their photo session.
i guess so...
probably time for him to get back to hunting. the family will wonder where he's been.
well...maybe just a few more.

bounce,

pounce,

enterain,

leap,

hop,

sleep,

seems,

everywhere,

i look,

i see,

a red fox,

come to ,

join me.
seemed like time for a 2 minute poem.

back to flowers.
field of flowers,

colours glow,

with the wind,

the flowers blow.
i am witness,

a petal show,

with blades of grass,

the petals flow.
lichens cling,

more tight to rocks,

some lichens bright,

some nearly lost.
golden poppies,

break my spell,

the weight of dew,

a petal fell.
the colours mix,

the colours blend,

a visual blessing,

the flowers send.
pretty bad poetry i know....but you can always just hit the first picture and avoid all my chatter.
sometimes i just like to look at the pictures myself. have been thinking i'd like to print up many of the pages i've written here. not that i want to sell it as a book but just for myself. something more tangible. not sure how one goes about that though. may have to ponder this.
will have to ponder another day though. i'm starting to get sleepy. will get back to reading that book i picked up the other day.
i do love all the variety of flowers and i love that the macro lets you focus in on the details of life that are often overlooked.
so much variety in this world. it's always so obvious that whoever put it together was a stickler for details. i mean why have thousands of varieties of flowers, why not just one. why even so many sorts of birds or so many types of mosquito's. it makes no sense?
i think this was the first time he passed...then he returned for more.
must have gotten lucky with the wind with these last few.
these pink and white flowers were super pretty.
looking forward to a few weeks of watching olympics. i always enjoy it all. hopefully all play fair and are kind towards each other.
it's an amazing opportunity for so many athletes out there. what a thing to be able to say the rest of your life...i was an olympian! of course, i was never competitive or overly athletic so i will not be able to say that...oh well.
til the next entry.