sunsets make me smile...

 great day, but the to do list got longer.  accomplished nothing.  enjoyed it anyway.  tomorrow will have to be a more productive  day before i head to work.

 watching, "people like us"

 headed to basher trailhead for the sunset after kaladi's with the amy's.  Gail and Lena joined for  the walk and at Kaladi's  the Amy's.

 the day was beautiful, warm and sunny.  well, warm is relative...it was in the 30's, for us that is warm. back east is much colder right now.  unusually cold i guess.

 seemed like a good day to head downtown. the ice sculptures were done.  thought i'd check them out.  it was warm and not crowded.

 rio keeps whining downstairs.  not sure what is up with that.  too much walking today.  she decided to walk with us.  we did the 4 miles. then i had her walk up basher. she did great, dragged at the end. probably overdid it though.  she looks fine, i forget she is 9 years old going on 10 sometimes.

 she's a good dog.  she will do anything you ask of her.  she is tolerant and sweet.  she's one of those dogs that would follow you to the end of the earth.  she is loyal.  it's funny, i remember the moment she just bonded herself to me.  she was only at the house for an hour or so and was settled in on a dog bed.  she'd found a bone and i didn't want her to have it.  she growled at me and i just got all cesar milan on her, took a deep breath and with confidence just reached over and took that bone from her.

 she must have respected me or felt that i was in charge and she was safe here, with me and with blossom as her buddy.  i think she still feels safe here.  that is the best you can give a dog.  especially one that has been abandoned.  i often think of how hard that must have been for her.  blind and left at the shelter.  her world as she knew it stopped.  who does that to a dog?  who lives with a cares for a dog for 2 years and then just ditches them at a shelter to an unknown fate.  what kind of people do that?

 but.....she has a home here and she is safe here.

 movie just finished. i really liked it.  people can change, especially when they are allowed the truth of their past.  so many secrets get kept and honesty can really set people free, explain things that they could never have understood and that they for years blamed on themselves.  i think most of us do assume it's us, our fault.

 it's simple really, but so hard to believe or imagine some days.  when people have issues with you it is usually more about them than you.  you just never know what other people are dealing with.  i do like a happy ending though, doesn't everyone?

 life can have a happy ending.  some times it just takes some time to sort out all the crap and come to terms with what it all means for you.  we make choices that we think are the best for that moment, in time though we may find out our choices were wrong or selfish or short sighted.  it's okay to be wrong, we all are, just have to own up to it when the time is right i guess.

 these are a few of the ice sculptures.  some were pretty good.  seemed like there were less than other years.

 many had some pretty impressive detail work.  maybe because it was warmer and probably easier to work on them.

 this one had cool details, but honestly the green light made it tough to see.  this one may be better to see in the daylight.

 the fish was simple, but i really liked it.  the lights were great on this one.

 the brain dead girl has been moved someplace.  she was transported by ground so that means someplace fairly close i guess.  who knows.  doubt that will be the last we hear of that.  seems the comments after the little internet articles have been more sad and understanding but also people wishing this family would come to terms with the reality of the situation for themselves and out of respect for the child who has passed by current legal and medical  standards.  will those change...?  we shall see. i do think this is something that will happen more and more.  it's just sad really.  no surprising i guess.

 her body was released from the hospital officially to the coroners and then back to the family for transport.  generally your death certificate will read the time of death as when you were declared brain dead.  not sure if they will put hers on hold until the time the rest of her body gives out.

 downtown.

 didn't take many pictures on the walk today.  we were booking it a bit.  3 humans and 4 dogs, we were outnumbered.

 above is leo and below is blossom.

 lucy at the kaladi's.

 sunsets are so peaceful. it was nice just standing up on the hill watching the sun go down.

 lots to do over the next week or so. gotta get some summer stuff planned, cabins, ketchikan.  winter seems to be flying by...hell life flies by.  i guess that is why i generally don't get too concerned about the small crap.  when you are dead and gone, who really cares if the dishes were left in the sink.

 wouldn't want to have people at my funeral or whatever having nothing to say about me except i kept a clean house and my clothes were always folded neatly.

 rather have them say i was always willing to put aside my to do list and just go sit and enjoy a sunset or watch the birds migrate or get hot cocoa with friends.

 you can see spencer loop from the basher trail.  i really need to take that trail further one of these days.

 loved this one just for the details on these spiky balls.  pretty cool i thought.

 the church was pretty intricate as well.

 a little better of the turtles.

 this one was simple but pretty.

 the tree lights were nice on it as well.  they almost look like aliens.

guess i will get ready to turn in. i'm reading wally lambs latest book.  still trying to get myself into it.

blue skies mean sub zero temperatures!!

 pretty though. worked 3 nights plus a half shift.  haven't done much overtime of late due to the leg situation. did have my appointment.  the insufficiency is worse so will be best to get this procedure done.  they will submit stuff to insurance for approval.  fingers crosssed and then we can schedule this and hopefully put it behind me.  above is from a trek in the bog.  went there at least once this week.  hit the dog park once, and the trails in north bivouac a few times.

 beautiful skies above.  this is out my bedroom window.  below is out the windows in the long hallway connecting buildings at providence.  looks like a nice place to enjoy lunch if you worked in the offices there.

 bog shot.  someone had brushed the snow away and the ice looked like a mosaic.  i thought it was kinda cool.  the person that is trying to handle the schedule for peds brought it to me as i missed the chance to fill it in.  the boss had already filled it in with the changes she made with me doing my weekends in the picu...i just kept saying it doesn't matter...it really doesn't at this point.
it's been busy all week there in the picu and i heard my name a lot.  i know i'm an asset there but sadly that isn't always recognized by those who don't actually work with me.  probably all they know of me is that i speak my mind openly and that is often not appreciated by those in the offices. did get to hear this week how many others in the hospital are aware of me and have heard really lovely things about me.  

 a wise friend once told me while we were out hiking that if most people like you and only 1 or 2 people don't, you probably don't have a personality issue.  now if nearly everyone can't stand you and only 1 or 2 people like you...well you may want to try and figure out what is wrong with you that is driving people away. at the time there was this travel nurse in ketchikan that just hated me.  we'd work in that tiny unit for 12 hours with very few words.  she drove me to tears one night as she was so mean  spirited to me and when her vent was alarming i knew what was wrong, but in her mind i was an idiot so i just kept my mouth shut.  she called the respiratory therapist in from home, rather than ask my opinion.  she broke the vent. a battle occurred...the poor respiratory therapist didn't know what he was walking into.  i'm pretty tough so it's pretty rare that i have ever been caught crying in public, other than at funerals maybe or at some movies.

 i believe in general people see me as a pretty strong person.  years ago i was bit by a dog at work ( i worked for vets back then)  pain and shock of it just led to me crying.  it's what you do.  i remember this co-worker looked at me totally shocked and said, "you cry?".  like i wasn't capable of shedding a tear.  i really don't think i'm cold or anything.  though another time i guess there was quite the buzz on day shift as i'd been seen giving a family member a hug at work.  it isn't that i am against hugging or never do it.  i just am not one of those huggy people that hugs everyone every time i see them.
yes, i do hug at times and i have been known to cry at times as well.  i am human, i have feelings and they can be hurt.  usually that is when i can get the most angry, when i feel attacked or when my feelings have been hurt.

 the light in the bog was lovely as always, walking is my best release.  i've had and helped with some sick kiddo's this week, but also worked with some nice folks and nice families.  great to hear families say to you how happy they are that you are back to care for their child.  they feel safe with me as their nurse.  i always like to feel safe around people so i totally want to make sure the people i work with feel safe as well.

 work party tonight.  many people i don't know at those things.  day people.  i chilled with the people i like...i guess the ones i feel the most safe with.  strange that the people in management never even acknowledged i was there...guess they stayed away from our group entirely.  one friend said perhaps i served as some sort of management repellant. i really have nothing to say at this point.  

 it was 15 below zero when i drove home this morning and i don't think it improved much.  it was a chilly walk.  when i got home i needed to reheat so i crawled under the electric blanket and promptly fell asleep again.  so...no swim, but i did make it to the party.  they have new travel nurses there at work, someone mentioned about me walking every day.  she looked aghast and said, "outside?".  yes...i walk outside.  newb!

 will have to try and find some fun photo ops tomorrow.  perhaps the beach...it's been a few weeks...then a drive.

 nat geo is planning on doing a reality show with "old believers" up here i guess.  guess they are kinda like our alaskan amish type.  russian heritage.  lots down in homer area, the valley.  could be interesting.

 some dogs have been getting shot in haines...an archer who apparently doesn't like dogs.  i feel  sad for the dogs and their owners, but i also have always been annoyed by people who just open their dogs and let their dogs run loose in the neighborhood.  they have to take some of the blame in my opinion.

 these little toys have been very busy in the peds unit of late.  i added the monkey one night.  they quietly change positions each shift.  it's been crazy busy at times and yet this little amusement keeps us all giggling.  one of the many ways we all cope i guess.  these are a few of my favorite.  funny to discover that other people have been photographing their exploits.

 talked to my brother today about the book idea.  i sent him what i've started to work on.   made it easier for us to discuss my idea for this project.  i'm hoping that he'll help get me working more regular on this.  i think it's a good idea and i'd like to find a way to get it done.  it's not easy though so i will just keep plugging along.  it will be a lot of work getting the various bits put back into some order and tying it all together.  hopefully, we can both brainstorm on that over the next months/years.  i said i'd be totally cool with co-authoring it as well with him.

 these are out on the loops in north bivouac trails today.  should have booted poor rio up. but she did fine.  such a good pup!!  blossom got her tennis ball time in so she was happy.

 see...happy dog!  was reading how dogs evolved due to their relationships with humans into carnivores that could digest wheat, rice, barley, corn...their wolf buddies can't do this apparently.  researches believe it was due to the dogs being around humans and human diets that they adapted to this.   humans evolved and adapted to grains as they settled and farmed or gathered more grains,  rather than just wandered and hunted.my dogs are happily adapted to eat nearly anything...even soap and suet...rio must be super evolved!!

 enjoyed the various lichens on the tree's.  the red is one type of lichen and the green stuff is another type.

 wandered over to stumphenge and then around.

 clearly i didn't miss much not reading the paper this morning.  i dropped off quickly.

 of course all of our hearts got a jolt of energy as a new patients elevated heart rate and then sudden blood pressure drop got us running.  all is well.  i always laugh when people talk about how stressful their jobs are, years ago one patient came if a few times for chest pain, his job as a hotel clerk caused him too much stress...really.  people don't die if they don't get a room quickly.  everyone has different abilities to handle stress..it's just so funny to me.  my job we got hearts stopping, blood pressures dropping, brain matter slipping out of skulls...it just keeps stuff in perspective i think.

 life is here on second and gone another.  best to get out and enjoy the icicles!

 i'd say smell the roses but this time of year they are hard to find!!

 more bark art

 trees are just cool.

 blossom in the sunshine.

 almost time for me to crash for the night.  loved blossoms beard after our walk in the cold today.  she is so adorable!!

 the sun is out later and later and up earlier and earlier..gotta love it!

 a few snaps from the party.  i didn't take many. i'm more of a nature and animal photographer. i never want to be annoying to people at a party by snapping away, animals and trees never care.these guys look happy to have their photo's taken....it was an 80's theme.  i didn't really dress 80's.  kim, carrie and amy .

 just joined the dance floor for a few minutes.  teds aren't fun to dance in...hot, hot, hot!

 lucy was passed around and admired by all!! roni takes a turn here!

 just a few last black and whites from today.

it's getting late so off to bed i go.