winter is coming soon...

 

the best revenge is a life well lived or eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we may die. in the end, it's probably less about revenge or whatnot. it's more about just living. living for what brings you happiness. focusing less on what I should think or feel. concerning myself less with what others think or feel. i just go and live. enjoying each day. not worrying so much about what gets done or doesn't get done. eventually, i have those days where i do get the chores done. if not totally, at least enough. 

there will always be more to do. things to clean and today, more leaves to rake. do some of it then get out there and enjoy the beauty. with all the crap happening in this nation, the end could always be near. 

Mass shootings are a daily occurrence. can't even report on all that has happened since i last wrote a blog. a big right-wing guy was killed and has now become their poster child. his racist, misogynistic and homophobic comments are there, but the right keeps saying all are taken out of context. this is their way of attempting to whitewash the truth of who he really was, but more who they are for revering him. Robert Redford died; his quotes don't need to be watered down or need context to attempt to have a different meaning. he was just a kind person so kind words were spoken. 

as many have said, if you want kind things to be said of you after you die be kind in life. this podcaster doesn't really have that history. he was killed in Utah by a gunman raised Mormon. this has caused backlash, perhaps. the other day, another gunman drove into a Mormon church and started shooting and lit the car on fire. most of these killers lean right, but the right tries to say it's all radical left folks or trans folks. in truth, it's access to guns coupled with lax gun laws and hate-fueled rhetoric. 

the other truth is that many evangelicals who are pushing for white Christian nationalism are using other Christian groups as tools until they gain all the power. The various Christian groups will never agree with each other, so once they do gain power, they will start to fight each other. many do not see Mormons as Christians. this event that happened in Utah just put in the wedge that was already there

religion has a long history of brutality. even after this event. many on the right will say that what everyone needs is more Christianity. sadly for them, this is starting to fall on deaf ears as the younger generations see the many flaws in religion. The extreme views and judgment towards others, coupled with hatred, are not very appealing to a generation raised knowing people of all colors, sexual orientations and religions. these same folks who call for more religion and more following or Jesus are also calling for the end of left-leaning humans, the end of undocumented immigrants, the end of Palestinians...you get the idea.

they are making a saint out of a jerk, though. Flags flown at half staff, he was flown in Air Force 2. They had moments of silence, plan a day of remembrance, they had a memorial service that looked very much like the party/show that is the usual Sunday service for the evangelicals, including pyrotechnics. the grieving widow seems more celebratory than, sad. people grieve differently but this seems very odd. 

my dog door is repaired, thanks MT. today, i do need to tackle the leaves in the yard. they do come down fast. still lots in the trees. they say it's good to leave the leaves down but i need to find the dog poops. i'm also putting up halloween decorations. 

done several day trips since returning from Gustavus. we had a great visit. I flew to Gustavus and we went for a paddle and a boat trip out into Glacier Bay. good weather and nice mushroom-filled walks. 

i skipped a fall drive to Denali as i was pretty beat after the trip. so lots of day trips. chasing fall a bit. also did an overnight at a new cabin with friends. Goetz cabin is beautiful. it's up at Arctic Valley. comfy and cozy, and the fall colors were amazing.  it's been hit and miss. Yesterday I drove to Hope. haven't been there is a bit so that was nice.

was looking for swans a bit too but they were all pretty far off. debating walking up at Powerline today. not sure if there will be extra moose. we are getting closer to rut season and being there with extra moose and Sunny Boy could be tough. He is 4 i guess now. basically skipped his celebrations. these dogs are pretty spoiled so every day is a celebration for them. 

the animals survived me being away. a friend from the dog park watched them. 

i did name the two remaining kittens. Otter and Abbyloni. sadly, before I left for Gustavus, Otter caught the mom's cold, and I had to let him go. I did get the mom and Abby back after I returned, and the baby is now 7 weeks and weighs 1 pound 6.1 ounces. they will return to the shelter on Thursday in search of a new home. she is a bit shy, like her mom. I still can't hold Rosie, though she loves play therapy sessions now. Abby loves to play as well. The little girl just hissed at my friend who visited while her husband fixed the dog door.

she's a miracle kitten, but she is chunky and happy. thriving. so that is great. hopefully, they find good homes. you have to assume the best for them, or you would drive yourself nuts.  

these are spring photos from last year. No more trips to Homer.  i find it gets dark so early. If I lived there, I would love cruising around this time of year. now, though, you end up holed up in the hotel room with nothing to do. 

took some day trips to Matanuska Glacier, Hatchers Pass and to Seward. debating another Seward run this week. i did Portage Valley and then Hope as i said.  it's a lot of driving. between those outings i do local hikes and hunt for mushrooms. 

as usual, if I don't initiate walks with others, it's just me. it does become frustrating to always feel like the main one initiating stuff. I try not to be a bother to people. i just go alone. it could very well be that i am the toxic person. I'm sure I am to some out there. my views are so counter to theirs that i know i am the odd one out and therefore the one seen as toxic, whether i really am or not. i can accept that to some in my life i will always be viewed as toxic. toxic can just mean you say things they do not wish to hear or admit. i can live with that. 

I am who I am. I've changed a lot because I examined my beliefs a lot and questioned things. it's something that I still do. in my view, questioning what feels right and normal is healthy. it's far too easy to just believe what you were told at a young age. it's not possible for any of us to be right about everything, nor were our parents. there are many who do live that lie though. believing that all they think and believe is the absolute and correct truth/reality. it's just not possible. it's also very arrogant and elitist thinking. 

always ironic to me that I have gone 180 on almost all I was taught, but I'm called close-minded. how is that possible? 

I found the mushroom I was hoping to see while I was in Gustavus. also, the amanita there were white and brown, not orange/red like here. I have seen some cool mushrooms again this year. you see nothing if you don't leave your house. the adventures change, but still capable of some adventures in this life. enjoy them while I can.

work. my last two weeks i was in ICU. i do find with my work-related anxiety, often i start to imagine symptoms of things that my patients suffer from. it's been a busy few weeks. try to catch up on education stuff as well. there is one 90-minute video that i've avoided. it's overdue. woke early to get my schedule in. 

constantly on the fence about when to retire. earlier if health care was not a factor. we shall see.

i'll go do yard work after i finish this and then what? where to walk. it's nice outside today. 

lots of play time with the mom and kitten. these days will go fast. great to have these cute kittens. will be nice to send them back and clear out the room again. kittens can be a mess. 

i'm sure another litter will turn up shortly. 

it's almost time for the pumpkin massacre. october 26 if anyone wants to join that reads this. does anyone read this? it's more personal therapy, i guess. I've done my own therapy over the years. probably took much longer and caused more personal angst and pain. i suspect there are more therapists now that understand religious trauma and deconstruction than there were when i would have needed it. 

our country is screwed. sadly, i suspect it will be more and more violent before it improves. the idiot taco at the top continues to serve himself and use the office to enrich himself and his friends and go after his enemies. this is not a productive way to run a country but this is where we are. lives will continue to be lost. it's gonna take something pretty horrific to wake up enough of his cult followers. this death just enraged them further and prepared them mentally to be able to snuff out people on the left guilt-free. i had one person comment to me that i wasn't human. that is what is required. dehumanize as many as possible so their loss isn't a loss at all but justified. they have already accomplished that goal with the undocumented and the trans. 

at my age and skill level leaving the country is not a likely scenario. It would be nice in many ways. i'll just have to live through what hell gets us to the next place. i believe, in the end, the pendulum will swing to a far more positive and progressive place. Will I survive? will the country survive intact or be split up? I have no crystal ball for that.

hate tends to need to explode before it implodes. the hate is in Christianity. so many claim to be patriots who love this country, but so many of us are struggling to understand what they actually love about this country since they seem to hate so much of it. they love being able to call themselves Christians and so the so-called chosen ones. They love having guns and they love owning the libs. beyond that? who knows. 

we were taught in grade school that this nation was a melting pot and i have always loved that. not everyone is on board, even when they are part of the melting pot. they want to hand-select who they include in that melting pot and who doesn't belong. 

nature and the animals couldn't care less about any of the politics. they just try to adapt to whatever Mother Nature or humans toss their way. 

woke early to do my schedule. Finally getting a blog post in. took forever to catch up on the photos. shouldn't let it go so long.. Winter is coming and life slows down. 

i love all the seasons. you just adapt to that as well.  winter causes a slowdown with the darkness and the quiet. the snow just covers the world with a forced peace and silence. 

off to get stuff done. 

thankful for A. safe trips and beautiful sights. B. that i'm still plugging along. C.  the fall colors and the mushrooms that i find. the drama of this place always amazes me.

last of Kennicott

 relaxing day in some ways.  got lots of little things done...still need to do some bills though i guess...then the day will be a success. chores.  gotta get to them on occasion.  i try to avoid it...my house shows it though.  i really need to do some major purging of crap.

 winter is coming.  i can always say now that i will do that in the dark hours of winter. it will perk me up to unload the place of crap.  also need to plan my kitchen remodel.  wrote the construction guy to plan for spring. 

 those stairs felt daunting after my hike to the glacier that day. it was a hot day...well hot by AK standards anyway.

 the rest are from the drive out.  i had debated staying in Valdez overnight. but then it really started to rain and there was road construction and i was ready to just get home to my puppies i think.

 swans just chilling...now they are on the move, migrating.  many birds have booked already.  reverse of spring. 

 did manage a walk.  just headed out to Kincaid for a stretch around Little Campbell Lake.  debated a run to see the whale.  they just did the necropsy yesterday though so that will mean the whale will be more stinky now.  after the last time when Blossom lay down in a pool of whale guts...it became easy to just skip it.  besides, low tide wasn't until after 7 pm.  many friends seem to be making their way down to see the whale.  let the gagging begin.  probably the only time to go would have been really early before the necropsy. 

 took the pups one by one to PetSmart after the walk.  Ivy Rose had lost her tag.  i suspect it was left on the hillside during a wrestle session yesterday.  we walked out a ways of the southfork trail.  it had been foggy but cleared and was a beautiful afternoon. 

 debated yesterday doing a longer walk, but i think when i walk alone i am less inclined to go over 6-8 miles.  not sure why.  in truth with the dogs, 3-5 miles seems to work for them, it's a good work out.  I'm happy, they are happy.  they could care less where we go.  i change it up more for me i think, though i suspect dogs like the change of smells too.  but some good walks and such this stretch off.  back to work again tomorrow

 flowers are nearly all gone...though i still have some strawberries in my garden.  leaves are falling faster than i can rake them up.

 took the tomatoes and cucumbers i think out of the planters and tossed some bulbs in there.  never know if those will grow.  stick them in and forget them. if they do, great. 

 also got a clear layer of paint sprayed on the main little library.  should protect it.  arranged to get the folks out who let you know if you are going to dig on anything critical.  figure i can map out where to put in the library and get that set up.  this guy was supposed to be getting back in town on the 20th...still haven't heard anything from him.  could be his mom got worse and he isn't back, i have no idea. did buy some brick to try to set up an area. should probably just buy a post and put it in the ground with this on it and then just try for the full set up next spring.  have been excited to get it out there...so this has been frustrating.

 enjoy watching Rachel Maddow.  love that she tends to avoid the fluff out there and really tries to focus on news.  talking about Rus and how they have been messing with elections across the globe and have become masters at social media.  it's pretty scary what they have managed to do.  scary as well that so many fellow citizens choose to ignore this real threat to our nation.  it's pretty sad.  frustrating as i watch so many obsess about this football crap...looks like Rus bots are involving themselves in this as well...divide and conquer.  it's one of the oldest strategies in the books....well even before books.

 iitoo tweets and his followers freak.  guess people are burning season tickets and football jerseys.  sadly, the folks who will be hurt worse by them not showing up at games is the regular folks working the booths and parking lots and such. 

 someone had posted that if these players were protesting abortions all these supposed patriots would be cheering them and getting down on one knee.  I'm calling it patriotic correctness.  all hail the flag unless you are conservative and then they cheer Kid Rock cutting a hole in a flag and wearing it as a poncho.  stand at attention during anthem except that most days prior to this outrage people were standing but texting or standing in line for a beer...I'm trying to just laugh it off now. 

 whether you agree with them of not, they have the right.  if this was NK they would be shot or jailed.  i would rather not live under a dictatorship.  many have fought hard for these rights and i do hope we don't put a false patriotism above our rights and freedoms. 

 still a distraction and i find myself getting sucked into the argument.  that is just what Rus would have of all of us.  it is also what the iitoo would want.  distraction is the best way to take advantage of fools.  we have to fight hard to not allow ourselves to be fools. 

 finally caught a picture of one of the hundreds of rabbits that i saw driving to Kennicott.

 the Kurds voted to separate from Iraq. not sure what will happen there.  Rus seems to be involved and their bots supporting any issues that divide in any nation.  looks like zuckerberg is finally seeing what facebook may have been used for.  twitter as well.  all these social media sights are easy to use. 

 a transgender teen was brutally murdered.  tortured really. there is a nasty element in our society and it's growing.  you see it happening. blaming, attacking. 

 many times i feel powerless and a foreboding and sense of doom.  so many seem to just ignore all the signs.  it does make me think of Germany during the days of Hitler. how many probably just carried on.  it wasn't happening to them. their lives were continuing on so there was no reason for alarm.  when their alarms started to fire off inside them, it was too late. 

 this radical Christian won his run up. i think now he'll run against a Dem for a seat.  I'm just calling them Radical Christians now.  i suspect that may be what we will be up against.  seems insidious, but i suspect that is how it started in the Muslim world.  the far right started working their way into power and then poof, everyone had to obey their religious edicts.  our nation feels at risk of becoming more of a theocracy. 

 this one lane road takes you from Chitina onto the main road leading to Kennicott.  when i first got to it i thought the whole road would be like this..but it really wasn't that bad.

 Puerto Rico, which i think i have sometimes thought was Costa Rica for some reason, seems to be in pretty rough shape.  the iitoo has been focused on the football crap while these poor folks have been suffering.

 the healthcare bill again seems to be dead.  the GOP seems to be dead or dying.  i had wondered if that was the goal of the iitoo...destroying the party...it still may be.  he may be a success at this. hopefully our nation survives all this mess. 

 sure to be some good books/movies and such after this is all done.  in my heart i think we will survive this but i suspect it will go much better or less rough if the people do all they can to prevent it from getting worse.  so far i have been proud of the resistance.  those on the right who hate us liberal snowflakes may one day have to thank us.  not sure they will though. 

 hate gets in the blood. 

 long and unwinding road.

 these are at Worthington Glacier.  did a walk, shortish. i returned a few weeks later and did a longer walk with the pups. 

 the glacier has receded so much in the years since i moved north.  it's pretty scary.  this whole area was covered when i first saw it.  the walk is longer now to get to it.  the higher trail on the left went next to the glacier field. 

 so i do have much better pictures the next time i went. 

 tougher to walk with the pups. still some pulling.  especially Tusker.  he was a brat today at the store.  i was trying to just take Ivy first and he jumped over me to get out and was running loose in the parking lot for a few seconds. in the store he was so excited! he just wants to say hello to everyone.  Ivy was an angel. it is funny.  in day to day life she is the brat.  haha.  she is like those kids you hear about where the parents are beside themselves at home but their teachers are all  they are the best ever!

 Ivy in class or on the leash is pretty good.  she is so wanting to please that she just responds.  Tusker...well, his curiosity gets him every time.  short attention span

 that glacier could calve.  you still have to be cautious. especially on a sunny day I'd guess.

 the valley is opening up

 this is when we still had lupine.  i think i was waiting in a long line for construction...at this point i opted to just head back to Anchorage.

 the pipeline

 just some scenery on the way home. Matanuska Glacier is huge and you watch it for miles along this route.

 sheep mountains.  always beautiful

 lions head i think it's called...you know you are getting close to home here.

 more of the glacier. 

 i really do live in an amazing place.  sure hope i don't see war on our soil in my lifetime.  I'm a wimp.  i see what happens in war and i would really love to avoid it.  I've been pretty spoiled so far.  with this guy in office we may all get a lesson in war soon.  way too many crazy people in powerful positions right now.  our world is in a broken state right now.  sometimes it ends up getting more broken before the repairs can happen.

 the terminus of the Matanuska Glacier.

 and the river leading off of it. ready to crash i guess.  made the bed...slowly as that is how it goes with puppies

grateful for: A.  a carefree life, a safe life, a stable life  B.  the freedoms i have enjoyed throughout my life.  C.  those who will continue to fight for what is right and protect those who need help.