mixed bag of march..

 that is my girl of course...she's as cute in black and white as in colour!!

 several of these are from the walk out to portage and then others are a walk to a beach and then a few northern lights shots from last night.

 i was on call last night.  man was i happy to get that call.  i need to make sure i get paid though.  felt very sleepy last night and that has continued today.  i'm actually of the mind that i have a bit of a gastrointestinal bug.  just ain't right today.  no fever though i've  felt feverish at times.  the good thing about gi bugs is they usually move on quickly.

 did make it out to walk the beasts.  that tends to go a long ways to making me feel better.  went pretty well and the day was absolutely beautiful.  we meandered and wrote words in the snow...

 rio was game for a walk as well, though she moves pretty slow.  i did manage a subway sandwich.  sometimes not eating will make you just feel worse.  i'm sure i got a bit dry.  oddly, ice cream sounded good so that was the other thing i've eaten today.  so far...not bad.

 my other two nights of work went fine.  worked in PCU and ER.  i rarely work PCU.  my patients heart was taking big pauses as was he.  the Dr and i had a bit of a disagreement about what should be done about it.  eventually i won...he went to the ACC.  those docs just need to listen to me.  sometimes us nurses can't tell you exactly what is up, but our gut will tell us things are going downhill fast and...those docs need to listen.

 i remember one Dr telling me another Dr had told him that if i told him his patient wasn't doing well he needed to listen.  i do have very good instincts about these things.   heart stoppage, no problem, vomiting copious amounts of blood, problem.  go figure...

 these are at the conservation center.

 my work is strange compared to the usual jobs out there. i like that though.  no two nights are ever the same.  i am an associates degree  nurse, which sadly these days is becoming like a leper nurse.  seems the powers that be are deciding that my degree is useless and that any nurse who has that degree is clearly a risk to patient care and patient safety...no matter how experienced they are.  read an article in a nursing rag and that was pretty much the gist of it as far as i could see....people who are care about patient safety are insisting that the nurses are BSN's not ADN's.

 so do i bite the bullet and become "safe" or do i hope that i can skate by until i retire?  i really dread taking more nursing classes.  i like nursing ok, but the coursework was hell.  so many hoops, besides, school is much different than it was years ago.  huge learning curve.

 i know i could figure it out and adapt.  it's just a matter of desire.  it may be forced on me at some point.  of course, i could just get myself motivated to write a few best selling books.  haha!!

 medicine has been good to me.  rough on the body some days, but overall, not a bad living.

 these, moose included, are from a walk down on the coastal refuge here in anchorage.

 watched a TedTalks given by an astronaut.  it was about fear and imagined fear.  how it can hold you back.  i think he asked, "what are you most afraid of" which was followed by his tale of having all that firepower under his arse and being blown up into space.  the odds of dying on his mission very high compared to the odds of failing on one of our earthly missions i guess.

 fear is real though and it does keep many people from living the life they could live.  not sure it was that effective to basically say, i went to space and that is way more of a real fear than anything you will ever encounter.  fear is often imagined and much of it can be based on past experiences or even confidence.  there are often complicating issues.

 it can be sad though to watch others who are, as they say, paralyzed by their fears.  who never come close to their own potential for happiness.  i'm sure i take less fearful steps as i get older, but at the same time, my previous leaps over fear or fear conquered have brought me to a place where i do have happiness so i probably don't require as many life altering fear inducing moments now than i did when i was younger.

 suppose i could decide to up and move to Iceland or something.  or just write those books and take those chances.  i guess i think that is laziness holding me back more than fear. do i fear success or failure?

 when i walked out to the refuge that day i saw 3 moose laying down as i returned i only saw 2...no fear, but i did keep an eye open for that other moose.

 slowly those to do list items are at least getting scheduled.  of course, more items keep coming in.

 i will be charged for my CT from my concussion.  the hospital insurance called me to say that this would probably be covered by my car insurance.  i thought this odd as i wasn't in a car wreck i just hit my head on my car.  i told the woman, "if i hit my head on my house would my homeowners insurance be held responsible?".  sure enough...my car insurance is the primary on this.  so i have had to tell my sad and embarrassing tale several times again to various people from State Farm.  so far all seems to be running smoothly.  the bear story is more interesting to tell than the story of me not ducking enough when tossing crap in my car and giving myself a concussion.

 still think it's weird that this is a car insurance issue and that if the bear had managed to get in my car and attack me, that too would be a car insurance issue.  that is sandra above and myself below.

 blossom was in both.  rio stayed home that day.

 got the dogs around the bog yesterday.  would have gone longer if i'd known i was going to get an on call.  never got called in.  did stay up until about 3am or later.  seems easier.

 it's not that i accomplished much.

 had a massage today.  my knot count is less.  still some lingerers.  so she worked those out a bit.

 these are clearly from the portage glacier.

 no more iditarod news...it's in the past.  til next year.

 a nice dude out there took a picture of the group of us.

 some friends in town so planning some meals out.  that's good as sometimes i just can't get excited about anything here.  if nothing sounds good i tend to just skip meals or just eat a slice of cheese and move on.

 continuing with these bloody hot rushes.  looking online for some natural remedies.  perhaps dong quai?  anyone ever used anything that worked.  i really thought i'd be thrilled with being warmed but it's not consistent enough to benefit me..i tend to be chilly all the time.

 so when i'm awake late at night i often will just pop out on the back deck and see if the northern lights are out.  sometimes they are.  mostly they are barely visible due to the city lights.  last night they actually looked fairly bright so i finally popped out with my camera on the little used tripod.

 not amazing photo's, but i must say i'm not sure i've ever really even attempted this so not bad for a beginner.

 always fun to watch.  tough to capture the dancing lights on one shot deals.  i used 2.5-5 second times.  wide angle lens at infinity.

 so there you have it...dancing lights in my backyard.  life is good.

 they were really pretty active and bright at times.  perhaps if i see them tonight i'll actually load up the car...though it is doubtful...as i said laziness beats out fear in my life.

i believe i shall curl up for a bit again.  i've managed the chips i bought with the subway sandwich today...so almost a little cup of jello, subway sandwich, a few crackers and ginger ale and ice cream...and now chips..that ought to be enough for one day.  good night.