In recovery mode

had my surgery on Dec 12 so i'm day 3 post op. while other women my age are getting face lifts, i was getting a uterus lift. i had a prolapsed uterus. so a sacrocolpopexy was done...i can't really even say it. kind of a surgery you aren't excited to scream at the roof top you have had. you can get secondary issues from having a prolapsed uterus so i got it repaired. 

still waiting on the short term disability to come through. if i was a regular office worker i would only need a few weeks to recover but my job requires some heavy lifting and there is no light duty for us so i've requested several weeks off post op. will be a good break in so many ways.  so hopefully, i get the short term disability to come through.  several phone calls before the office nurse sent in the papers, i brought it in as soon as i got the papers to print off. 

going under general anesthesia is always a little anxiety inducing. many thanks to the friends who stayed with me before and after surgery and have called and texted and stopped by. 

as a single female you do get used to the fact that you will have to be more independent than some.  it has been pointed out to me over the years that having a life partner does not necessarily promise help post op though. anyway, there are some moments that kind of bite being single and during recovery from surgery or in illness can be one of those. 

i was sprinkling de-ice stuff on the driveway and a car pulled up...for a moment i thought i was going to be gifted with a flower delivery.  nope, just someone parking there and going some place else. silly me.  you will always have little melt down moments or pity me moments. i would guess those happen to all of us no matter our situation. life is just that way. overall, i enjoy my independence, but there are those little bummer moments. 

today i took my walk with the dogs alone. i only missed walking them friday. i took them for a walk pre-op on thursday and on Sat a friend joined me to help get Ivy back in the car. today i took the element so Ivy jumped in coming and going. i can't always count on having someone join me for walks.  as a single person you want to get the least amount of help you need and not make people do more than they should to help you.  like pick what is most important and most needed and then do everything you can independently. you are always balancing need/want and not burning out your friends who so kindly help you. 

i am still sore and today i probably overdid it a bit. i was trying to avoid any narcotics during the day. that lasted until 1800. the last 48 hours i have only been taking 1/2 of one pain pill every 6-12 hours. i also needed my post op poop. walking and drinking fluid is the best for that.  day 3 no poop and narcotics will bind you up so another reason to avoid them.  after the walk i stopped by the grocery for some recommended "smooth move" tea. before i could make the tea after returning home though, nature took it's course.  i do have the tea still in case i need it. 

it is nice not having my uterus sticking out of my body.  it's the little things in life.  also i'm noticing right now that my pelvic girdle feels good...is that the narcotics i took at 6pm or does having my uterus back in a normal position make the entire region happier. 

we had a warm up right before surgery and so the place melted and turned to ice. a wee bit of snow today. careful walking with cleats on for sure. 

tried to prep the house by decorating and getting as much xmas stuff completed as i could. wasn't sure how i'd feel post op for doing things other than recovery and walking the dogs. 

that does seem to wear me out so far. 

some house cleaning, some art projects. handing out local gifts, mailing remote ones. 

i have no big xmas plans really.  just relaxing.  hopefully, i'll get feeling well enough to look at some lights. tonight i missed the solstice tree lights in Kincaid. i've seen them before and will see them again.  it was cold out and very icy out. that trail is a bit hilly so i figured best to just skip it this year. 

i would like to sign up for a class learning how to do felting. i think that is cool looking. 

i'd also like to sign sunny up for some classes. he deserves to be better trained. he's super smart and i have slacked a bit on his training.  covid, grief. so better late than never may be the best way to go

tomorrow i'll have to make sure the short term disability is settled and then make sure i understand how that works.  it's not something i've done before. 

hopefully, i'll get some good sleep tonight. 

went out with a few friends pre surgery to decorate some trees at north bivouac with dog toys/balls and bird stuff.  that night the chinook winds blew through...i went to the area the next day and did some repairs. wasn't as bad as i expected.

i would love to get the dogs over to see a santa for some photo ops. 

not the most exciting holiday. it's a strange year anyway. the election of this total idiotic corrupt mess has put a damper on life in general. more for me i think, is the sadness of knowing so many i know would choose this and not think there was any issue choosing this. now we will all suffer the consequences.  

it is mostly sadness for me i think. i have accepted that we are mostly powerless and will just have to deal with what comes next.  hoping that what eventually comes will be  better than what we are currently dealing with.  that eventually, elders will be cared for, healthcare will be for all and education will be free and not full off Christian bull.

it's the last hurrah for the crazed lunatics on the right. they have bitched for years about people saying happy holidays over merry christmas...someone said we will say merry christmas again once they put christ back in christmas.  the christian religion has just been so corrupted by corporate greed. these churches are nothing more than businesses. they help very few and live to make more and more money and to do nothing that comes even close to the messages that have been deemed christlike. 

i do love the spirit of the old christmas, the simpleness. i've watched a few classic movies but i won't be attending any organized religious events. some big box churches have spent literally millions to bring in the crowds with huge and elaborate shows. who Jesus was has been totally lost and corrupted. 

i was for sure anxious going in to surgery.  they took me in to the operating room fully awake.  it's a big room filled with everything for every emergency possibly. they knocked me out pretty fast though, thankfully.  i did like the crew that worked with me.  having it done at the hospital i work at made for some familial faces. some old icu nurses that now work day surgery popped in to say hello. 

i better crash soon.  still get anxious about things  but i am  better at recognizing it.  hopefully, i continue to heal. again thanks to all who have checked in and helped me through this. 

these are from August in '22 and '24. i mix and match now.  

there are beautiful places all over up here and they change so rapidly and look so different every time you go.

this big sweetie!  the animals have been attentive of course. they did love having friends stop by those first few days. 

thought it was all about them.  

i have been able to take care of them.  always most important. 

still some from a little train ride. 

it really was a pretty day. good to just play tourist up here from time to time.  

we were trying to get to Grandview but this loop of a hill up kept stalling us out.  we never got there, perhaps another time. 

parked and waiting to go

the river on the way back

cool looking clouds that day on the drive to the train. 

this is from a walk out of Abbot Loop trail

and of course, mushrooms

back to the train

one of my good friends.  off to bed. i'll post again with an update next week probably, hopefully, i continue to heal and walk more and more. 

grateful for a. competent surgeon and staff.  b. friends and family checking in on me and taking care of me. c. the dogs and cats that motivate me to move. 
 

my annual calendars are lost....

 

they are somewhere in the lower 48. tracking shows them not moving since Nov 4. i have contacted Shutterfly and they will expedite a new order.  so the second set of calendars will arrive within the week and be free.  not sure if the others will ever show up or just go to some lost deliveries place. hopefully they are enjoyed by someone out there i guess.  so my annual calendars will probably arrive late. i ordered less than normal of them so not sure how they will get divided out this year. 

i was on call Thanksgiving eve.  that just meant that i never slept more than 15-20 minutes at a time. being on call can bite that way.  i just got little sleep. did manage to get the dogs walked. yesterday was my only totally lazy day.  i was a sitter in the ER all night Saturday. that patient was a soft icu patient, needed to be comfort care really but worked out well for that patients nurse to be an icu nurse. i was happy with my sitter gig as i heard a really crazy, screaming and violent patient in another area...so happy that wasn't my sitter gig. 

Thanksgiving was a lovely friendsgiving. thank you MT. great food and company. last minute i made homemade gravy, which was loved by all. 

last night i took the turkey i'd cooked the other day and made homemade turkey noodle soup. 

these are at Byron a few years ago. 

only one trumpy family member called, i let it go to voicemail since i was out walking and the temperatures were super low this week.  i suspect part of me just figured better to let it go to voicemail and just respond with a text. he never responded to the text. my sister and i just texted.   give them their peace.  nothing is going to change with their views and i'm not sure i won't just express my views.  what is the point anymore?  i can save myself the frustration of walking on eggshells in conversations where honestly, nobody really cares about how my life is..if they did they would contact me more than at a holiday or birthday. the truth is these are not actual relationships. actual relationships involve more than the minimally required interactions and niceties around certain events. 

bad guy, black sheep, obligation. that is really all i am to most in this family. these things will not change as long as i'm not in their church and they remain there. they are even encouraged by their church to avoid people who have left.  it's preached. so better to just accept the place i am in. my choice to leave.  i have never regretted leaving that church nor have i regretted my views evolving as i learned more and more about the bigger world outside the bubble and met people from many different walks of life. that doesn't mean that i'm never saddened that the people i grew up with have so easily moved on. it's a cult, i see that more and more. as i see secret videos of stuff that happens in the temple, strange. 

sometimes in life you just can't be who people want you to be and they can't be who you want them to be. all you can do is walk away or just give them the space they want. give them peace. will they ever see this orange idiot for who he is? i have less and less hope that they ever will. they don't want to. 

i have no idea what will happen in the next years.  he's selecting the absolute worst qualified and least humane humans this nation has to offer.  selfish, greed filled, racist, homophobic, mysogynistic...that is what people want. 

you can't spell HATRED with out RED and HAT.  so there we are.  hate builds in societies and it has to be burned off like a fire in the woods.  those big fires can simmer below the surface during even the coldest winter.  it takes time for hatred to be expunged. it's still being fueled by right wing media and trump and his band of fools. as long as there are so many willing to allow their fires of hatred to be lit we will all have to suffer fools. 

off tonight then back for 2 more. 

i've done far too much on line shopping of late....emotional shopping. can i blame trump for that too.  haha. 

Sunday was a sleep day. i crashed. the dogs had a day off of walking. i don't do that very often.  woke late and then the light was nearly gone so i never got out of my pj's that day.  today was Monday walk.  thank you AR for joining me and then we did have a coffee day which was nice. 

should get decorations up and cards shipped.  feel like waiting for the calendars.  do it all at once. i do usually get it done earlier but i will have time after surgery...hoping all goes well with that and i heal quickly. 

still pondering a craft for local gifts. 

have to conquer my laziness and anxiety. mostly i just use this homeopathic spray for the anxiety now. does help. prefer to avoid heavier drugs when i can. i also want to have them handy in case i do need them.  picked up scripts for post op and got labs drawn today. need to look at the short term care and make sure the papers have been sent in. 

Sunny enjoying the sand

he really is a snuggler. perfect for my needs of late.  for sure Tusker sent him to me.  lol. 

lots of swift talk today at coffee.  her last weekend of her ERA's tour is this coming weekend. may live stream it.  quite the accomplishment for anyone. she has brought joy to many across the globe. of course, many on the right have demonized her...as they seem to do. any joy needs to be turned to hate and vilified. crap like she and her football boyfriend will bring a baby in that will be the antichrist...yes, another antichrist.  there have been hundreds of antichrists created by the evangelicals these past years...satan, devils,antichrists.  it's absurb. i will never understand these lunatics and what they have come to believe. 

a few bears in a parking lot that i opted to not go for walk in...or was this right after i'd returned from a walk? not sure, this is a few summers back

below are from a train ride to Spencer and beyond this summer. 

a quick walk since our train trip got cut short. 

pretty days and pretty views along the way though. 

it was one of the new things i did this year. i try to add new roads or new bits to old adventures each year. 

i ordered a few things from the body shop.  apparently, they no longer really exist in the US, unless you go through a place like amazon.  bummed as i always loved the body shop. 

i miss rummaging through Pier One shops as well. a few stores, like that are only online now. 

i have to admit to being a mini-swifty.  i did order her tour book online through target.  i didn't get up early and go buy one but it should show up. i enjoy her music and follow some of her stuff. i'm not as into the details as so many of her more true fans are. i think it's cool they do all that and play those fun games with her but i just am not that into the extra stuff...at least not at this time. haha. it's been fun to watch clips of her tour and to watch her happy fans prep to go.  great outfits, the bracelets. it's all very fun. so happy that there is someone willing to spread joy and put up with all the crap from those crazy evangelicals in doing it. 

strange year for me this year. the ectopy, the anxiety, the pink eye, the covid and now this uterus surgery. should i assume as we age there is just always some medical thing going to crop up from here on out? always new aches, new pains.  still i know that compared to others my age i'm faring well. i have to admit, being surrounded by much younger co-workers, that i am getting older.  not many in this younger generation will last long in nursing.  i'm guessing for the foreseeable future it will be a constant rotation of new staff. 

i need to do some cleaning and then i can put up the decorations.  some years i feel less festive about it all than others. i did get the Skelly's out. having extra lights is nice this time of year when the days are so short. 

biden pardoned his son.  many are up in arms about it.  he's been under attack from pretty minor charges for years now. i suspect his paid the price many times over for infractions. it's been a constant attack from the right.  i'm happy Biden did it, i wish democrats would be less concerned in this current era with doing things on the total up and up...God knows the other side is totally flouting every law and every norm. they vote in a felon and then complain about this. it's all so ridiculous. i just can't anymore.  

it's been beautiful but cold out.  there was some amazing hoar frost. love that stuff.  it can look so many different ways. should take a drive out and find more cool stuff. looks like snow/rain mix over the next several days. so far a lovely winter.  a nice amount of snow. not too crazy. i suspect the element's battery is dead. haven't tried to start it for a few days. it got down to 0F last week. 

the good folks of the nation, Georgia, are making it known that they do not want putin managing their sovereign nation.  the battle in Ukraine continues.  battles continue elsewhere as well. Israel cont to pummel Gaza. i just keep hoping that when i wake up people like trump and putin have died through the night. Syria getting hit again...how is there anything left to hit there? the world is a mess and getting worse.  i've been lucky to have been away from the worst the world has to offer.  i'm grateful for that. not sure i could take what many on this planet have just had to live their entire lives with.  perhaps our time is coming though. 

Ivy is resting near by, Sunny Boy and i had a good snuggle earlier. love my pets and all the amazing companionship they bring to my life 

my hip is already getting sore from sitting.  see aches.

was a pretty train ride. 

this was the dog park.  there was a recent shooting in the area. the police have been hanging out a bit more, they never found the shooter i guess despite drones and searches. i've gone a few times though but stayed out of the deeper woods. 

there is our train

grateful for A. the peace i've been lucky to exist with.  we had bomb drills as kids at school but never had bombs drop.  B. snuggle time with the pups. C. laughing with friends