and so it's 2023

 

time does fly.  this night was pretty standard.  i was at work for the New Year.  no fan fare.  i was happy i was in PICU.  they were sure to be more understanding about a breast injury. feels on the mend finally.  what a way to start the year. there were a few moments of pain. mostly back to just uncomfortable though. i can breath and cough with minimal to no pain again. lifting and odd pull or positioning will remind me quickly though. 

so, many trips around the sun for this gal. 

got out for walks despite discomfort.  mostly the dog park. today i headed out to N. Bivouac.  i was thinking i'd grab my bear spray due to that pit bull attack out there early in December. no signs of the dog. my bear spray, i think it's frozen.  in the end, i found myself getting anxious about the dog and potential attack.  silliness really, but i think everyone is more on edge these days. 

i started the morning off with getting breakfast..breaking my fast early.  nice way to start the year, right.  of course, that led me to thinking about perfection and how that mind F of my youth still comes back to sting me from time to time. we have to have goals, we have to be trying to be perfect.  we are not perfect.  it's good to strive for better, goals are fine...as long as we give ourselves a break from time to time and not trash ourselves for the times when we aren't perfect. 

as usual i didn't eat all that much.  the dogs got bacon and eggs for breakfast. i felt bad as i left them at home with the dog door shut for the night.  i put piddle pads out but they were just fine, no accidents in the house  tonight, there were some fireworks shot off around 11:30. cats went bolting, dogs started to bark.  so i am very happy that i shut the dog door. tonight i just turned on a tv show loudly and sat with the pups, brushing.  the cats will hopefully come out of hiding soon. 

my friend in Homer has apparently lost her 10 month old lab, Sailor.  i do hope he is found.  he was taken out to go potty and fireworks went off and he bolted.  i'm worried about our new friend and hope he is found safe shortly.  my friend is back down in Homer looking for him. 

Ukraine continues its battle against the invaders. they are tough.  more and more comes out about things between the F put and tru making alliances.  we will hear for years i fear of all the heinous things that could have happened or were attempted under this idiot. so many still believe all the bull and blame all the Dems for things that don't even make any semblance of rational sense. Biden isn't really in charge of the country, tru is still president, but somehow Biden is still responsible for anything bad.  Biden is a double. all fake.  it's insane the crap these fools have bought into. 

a few of my rocks

i hear that the con family is selling a tru bible.  such a scam and yet those followers just keep tossing money at him. we are hoping that 2023 is a year of some accountability.  i'm not sure tru himself will ever be held accountable for anything, but i can dream. i am hoping for sure that many of his stupid enablers will be held to account.  he always seems to find more. 

i ended up taking a nap this evening so i guess my fast started early for the night. it all worked out.  i'd had a big meal from Texas roadhouse before the nap. no trash or mail today.  it's already the 2nd. 

will try and watch at least some of the Rose Parade.  i grew up in  South Pasadena so much of my childhood New Years revolved around the parade.  never attended a Rose Bowl game, but i'm no football fan anyway 

when i was a kid the church sold Rose Parade programs. i went door to door or we'd group up at bigger float building sites and sell them.  in retrospect the door to door thing was a pretty dumb thing to have a kid as young as i was do.  we also went to the parade route some years and wandered around selling programs to the crowds...again i was less than 10 i think those days.  crazy looking back.  some fun memories...not door to door really but fun to watch them build the floats and be out on the street for the parade. being on a big bridge as those huge bands would march past.  

later it was a 24 hour, 5 mile long block party. the church had a youth center located on the parade route so they would have a gathering the night before if i recall.  friends and i would camp out on the street and wander in to the gathering from time to time.  i was finding my way out of the church at that time so my group was often a bit of a blend of mormons who were also working their way out.  

Greg was obviously gay looking back but none of us ever spoke of it. in the church, especially back then, it wasn't a topic to bring up.  he was a great guy and we had so much fun with him and with our rebel group.  we hit the comedy clubs, especially when Brad Garret was playing at the Ice House Comedy Club.  we went early for dinner, which got you meet and greets and front row seats. Brads set was always hilarious and he was super nice when he'd stop by our table. 

always felt bad because years after i left L.A. i heard that Greg has died of Aids. so much was never said and you really hope he knew he was loved and accepted even though we all went along like the word gay didn't exist. 

don't have any written down resolutions. be decent. get more fit, de-clutter. 

enjoy adventures with friends, family and these furs that i share my life.  live for this life over striving so hard to get to some unknown place in the after life that i miss this.  more and more i feel badly for those who have lost so much of this brief time on earth worried about strange religious demands for the next life. none of it really ever made sense. 

holding back on experiences out of some blind loyalty to a plan that has no validity. holding fast to the iron rod and trading your free agency for blind obedience. it's fine to have faith and hope in a thing, it's sad really to allow that hope and faith to curtail a full life and full experience.  time is too short and the experiences of this life are too vast. do not hide your light...shine, glow, radiate! 

Ivy is twitching behind me.  someone said, dogs live a short life and their walks are the highlight of their day. does add that extra incentive to get out for those walks. 

i'll go sledding again. you can use caution, you can use common sense.  you can't use aging as an excuse to hide away. 

want to get more fit not for some perfect body...those days are long gone.  just so i can have more flexibility and energy to take in what i can, while i can. 

these are at the dunes here in Anchorage.  always a favorite spot.  as we get more light, i will feel the need to explore further and further out and enjoy the beauty out there.

these silly pups bring so much into my world.  the cats as well, entertain. my life is pretty basic i guess to others looking in.  dog walks and snapping photo. it's all those small beauties that inspire me.  what ever/however this earth is here, the details and diversity are amazing.  there are the huge, more obvious things but there is also so many small, incredible things that many just step past and never see.  i have a gift of finding the smaller beauties as i walk with these dogs. they could care less how fast or slow i walk, just that we are out there.

these are from this past month. more snow shots. it's a great winter really. lots of beautiful snow to explore

still tennis balls and toys hanging on the trees out there. Sunny snagged one and as Ivy and Sunny had lost the tennis ball we brought super quickly, it was nice to be able to grab a tennis ball out there in the woods for Ivy to enjoy again. 

i may have a buyer for my skate ski's. i just never got the hang of those things.  haha. part of the declutter idea.  Christmas is put away and the closet is cleaned out. this buyer is hopefully legit...works at Prov so we shall see.  i'll hold it for them for the moment.  another person was saying they just needed to  hitchhike in from the valley. more sketch...i'm sure there are ski's to be found out there. 

i still have regular cross country ski's.  that movement pops my toe in and out of joint so i'm not sure how much skiing i will engage in.  it won't be skate skiing though.  

another friend is retiring...excited for her and a bit jealous.  my day will come. what will i do...more of what i do now but without the annoyance of work. haha. congrats GT. 

this as just after the first dump that week. within a few days the little free library had pretty much disappeared under the snow bank. 

i keep meaning to go out with snow paint and paint some flowers into the snow. 

love these pinks.  

he sure looks handsome in his coat. just the harness these past several days. it's in the 20's so nice and warm. 

will probably just switch the Skelly's over to Valentines attire.  not that i am big on valentines day. i'll be working that one. leave it to the people in love. that is not me.  love was always stressful. that perfection stuff screws with that as well.  you are raised to be subordinate to a man and i was never good at that role. i did get the never good enough and so i think it just always stressed me out.  i mean the truth is i am just me and there is always going to be someone better out there. 

i was just never into competing for affection. if it wasn't right, it wasn't right.  there are those more pure loves...i feel if it wasn't that deeper love, well, it was way worse to be entangled and in hell than to be free and single. there are trade offs with each choice so you just have to accept how that goes.  none of us really can have it all out there. we make choices and we strive to find the most happiness that comes with those choices. 

expectations will destroy your heart so it's best to release expectations and just enjoy what comes. 

in pain last week, i was lucky to capture some great sunsets from my room. i have some pretty decent views

i also enjoyed some great snuggle time with the pets. mostly i slept, took ibuprofen and watched Big Bang and the like and played games on the phone. 

always makes me think of how difficult it must be for people who live with chronic pain. mine was self limiting so that really helps mentally.  i knew it would improve as things healed and muscles relaxed. 

love to watch this guy bounce through the snow.  

Covid cat is back out chilling. no more fireworks since that one outburst. 

lost in the deep snow. there are snowshoes on under all that snow

this must have been the second day we went snowshoeing that week since i made it further. 

it was hard work

making pathways in the back yard.

i better head to bed soon.  hoping to get up and watch at least part of parade.  Monday walk.  deliver a few residual gifts i have. 

what a sweet face. 

he wasn't too happy when i shut the dog door last night. 

thankful for A. another trek around the sun on this beautiful earth B. improving pain C. kind crew at work who support and laugh

boxed in...

 

so my neighbors getting their counters installed and the truck has my driveway blocked...has all day.  i'm sure i could get them to move but it's raining so it's just been another excuse to get the day started slowly. i did sit on hold for a bit so that took some time and was always going to.  my pet insurance was auto deducted from my paycheck and that is going away so i had to get that transitioned back to auto deduct from my regular account. so i had time.

still enjoying the fall colors. had debated a quick run to Talkeetna today but i was up late last night.  

many of these are from the colorful run up Arctic Valley. 

thank you Great British Baking Show for making the next season happen.  the first episode was available so i watched that. they had the contestants just quarantine to be on the show. 

i then finished watching the Anne of Green Gables series. don't know if there will be more of that.  it's fun though she really can be annoying at times since she constanting acts before she thinks.  way too emotionally liable for my liking..haha. 

i finished another 3 nights in ICU with the same two patients all three nights.  that is not usual. staff is down.  

i suspect staff is down across the nation as people get tired of dealing with all this covid crap

i'm getting acne from the mask wearing.  haven't had acne for years...so that is annoying

did manage little walks between shifts.  Cheney Lake and Baxter Bog.  yesterday i was beat.  i finally did manage a dog park walk. 

my two patients kept me very busy...very tasky as we would say.

now i laugh to myself about what an easy job i have...some would even say simple...haha!! yes apologies were made after that conversation. it's just a sign of how little people actually know about what we do. a little disrespect as well of course. 

i suspect some of that thinking is it's "women's work" or was seen as such for years. so if women can do it, it must not be too difficult. if it was then it would have been man's work all along. the same could be said for other jobs that were mostly viewed as female jobs...even being stay at home parents.  must be easy, right?  haha. 

i laugh as well because i work in the intensive care units and ER...not units known for being easy or simple but the perception is what it is i guess. until you are a patient you may never really get what your nurse, male or female, does for you. 

we have a steady group of Covid admits on any given day.  what i've seen is that patients with covid, especially the really ill ones take up a bed/vent for weeks and weeks.  for those places that get inundated with covid patients they fill up and can't empty out to take in new cases.  it stops up the entire system.

wearing the masks and face shields is a bother to say the least. 

i had bruising from my massage.  she really had to dig in on those knots.  i've also probably taken a bit more exedrin than usual with the headaches i had.  

there is a study that we were offered to be a part in.  it was to get antigen testing for covid.  i signed up and got that done after i'd worked the night.  i think they had over 1500 signed on when i arrived. the results came back the same day and i am negative. i wonder if they will re-test us at intervals and see if we change. perhaps a testament to the masks and shields.  

nobody i spoke to had tested positive yet...but that was just a small number.  everyone had commented they kind of hoped they would have.  just so we can be like, oh good we already were exposed and we are ok. no such luck

our nation should have been doing wide scale testing months ago.  this administration has screwed this pandemic up so badly and the right just keeps making excuses for them.  they keep moving the goal post as to how many deaths is acceptable and their followers just repeat whatever crap they say.  we are now at over 200,000 deaths and counting. 

since they feel a bit uncomfortable with that number the next move is to victim blame basically....all that died somehow deserve it because they had pre-existing conditions. or they just say fake news...which to me now just equals saying i'm an idiot trump cult member.  they also try to act like the deaths are not real, are something else, are over counted, part of a conspiracy...anything to not put any blame on trump and his sycophants. 

so not only is my job not easy or simple on a regular day it's been made more difficult by this virus and then even more difficult by the constant denial on the right about this virus. not just difficult but disheartening as you struggle with this pandemic reality while others think it's no big deal. 

the latest out there is the New York Times has another big report about the trump financial quagmire.  it sounds like it is worse than we knew.  he owes over 400 million or was it billion to who knows who.  he hasn't paid but like $1400 in taxes over the last many years and has instead gotten millions in tax breaks and refunds.

all these Republicans that support this while claiming they support fire/police/military/infrastructure...we pay for these things with taxes. yes we all like to pay as little as possible but that is very different from doing all you can to use fraud to steal money from your fellow citizens who depend on these services. we all depend on these services. he has not only paid but he's grabbed what he could and continues to use his current position to get even more.

the next thing those on the right like to say is he donates his salary...well, he can't legally not accept a salary in this position so this is another lie.  he takes the salary, now he's made great show of donating one or two, but i bet not all of them and i know one of those he gave to the national park system at the same time he took millions from them so that is like cleaning out my bank accounts and then handing me a few pennies in return. 

this is the second big report on his finances that has come out from them.  they have multiple fact checkers and sources. still trumps followers won't give an inch.  they are beyond reach of sanity at this point for the most part...those cyber trump cult followers.  how do we deprogram 30+ % of the population. 

views from the top. 

not sure where i'll take these pups.  

i think the sun may be coming out so the delay may have been beneficial. 

powerline pass will start to be good moose viewing in the next weeks.

i really can't believe that September is almost over!!

raked up a few bags of leaves yesterday.  as a two dog owner it helps to get those leaves raked up so i can find the dog poops and avoid poop soup. 

the dogs just barked....the crew is packed up and my driveway will be clear in a minute.  

making the most of the delay. 

the local reds are fading fast.  

i can chase fall for a few more weeks perhaps but soon we will be covered in snow.  there was a little termination dust on the local mountains this week. 

this place is always amazing to me.  it's constantly changing.  i can hit the same trails week after week and see very different things. 

i have three more nights of work starting tomorrow night, will i be in ICU for a third week.  always strange to have the same patients three nights in a row. that is just rare these days.

there have been holds in the Er pretty regularly again.  we shall see what the flu season holds. if people mask and distance at least some we may have a lighter flu season which will make it a bit less crazy with the covid.  still hoping we can avoid the worst of it up here.  

the tourist season is over, what little we had this year so now we can hunker down hopefully.  of course, on the flip side we are inside more, which is what happened during the pandemic of 1918 ( i think i have the year/time right).  in winter people are in close quarters which can lead to increased transmission. we shall see. the numbers in the villages has already shown an increase.

some of these are from a dunes walk.  

these leaves are probably down by now.

much sad cases in the ICU this week.  i had two of them.  

off to walk and then hit the grocery store i guess. 

in between shifts i don't always get much done...the Skelly crew has been ignored as well.  time to get them redone...maybe a Halloween theme...not sure if the massacre will be able to happen.  boo.  i already have a few pumpkins here so a massacre will happen just not sure if i can have friends over.  

there are still a lot more leaves to come down out there.  love the smell of fall.  decomposing never smelled so good. haha.

as long as Covid Cat doesn't bring anything inside to decompose!!

thankful for A.  fall and all it's glory  B. to not be a Republican ( laughing as at one Thanksgiving we went around the room saying what we were thankful for and my Mom said she was "thankful to be a Republican)  C. having a job, despite the stress involved some days. may we all get through this and come out more decent and kind on the other side.