another trip to Homer in the works

 

wasn't planning on it. so easy though. i've been seeing lots of good fireweed photos. i may be too late to catch the good fireweed but it's a low tide so why not. so that will be mon/tues i think. 

also have much of the trip to Haines locked down. gotta check on our second night in Tok. the email just showed the one night. as i was looking through stuff i realized that CR and i will be in Tok on Sept 11...the last time that happened was right at Sept 11, 2001. though now that i think of it we stayed there Sept 12 since we spent Sept 11 in Whitehorse. still kind of strange to think about. 

my last stretch off we did get a sunny day so i had booked the train.  did not make it all the way to Grandview as there was too much oil on the tracks and despite several efforts and sand, we were having a difficult time getting up the hill. so they brought us back down to Spencer and i did a speed walking trek to the glacier lake front.  beautiful day.

lots of walks in the rain.  Abbott Loop trail once again has a big pond.  it was nearly gone the last time we went.  lots of dog park action.  i keep doing my usual mushroom hunts.  the mushrooms do enjoy the rain.  the lake had a small oil containment issue with the raised water levels from all the rain. it's over by the other parking lot so i have just avoided that and the lake. in the end it was like 10 gallons.  i think it also is related to construction work. 

i braved North Bivouac. there's been a moose kill closer to Campbell Airstrip on the opposite side of trail the sign came down...which really just means the large bear is nearly finished with that meal and will be looking for another soon. i do not want to meet up with a bear large enough to take out a moose.  ran into a guy i've seen on those trails for years.  he said a friend had seen the grizzly and guessed it at nearly 1000 pounds. i walked much faster back to the car. 

the sandhill crane family has been hanging out in the neighborhood.  almost daily sightings.  they are so fun to watch. the dogs enjoy watching them as well. 

woke up early one morning.  i suspect there may have been some disturbance in the house.  i opted to use the restroom and what i found was shocking and disturbing. a dead ermine.  it's in the weasel family and about maybe half the size of a ferret. big really...big for my cat to drag in.  not the best smelling creature either. luckily the scent was contained to the bathroom.  wee morning cleaning and vent helped. 

this week work i got an on call one night and never got called in. got put as overstaff by 0300.  the next night was in the adult icu. not bad but just steady.  off to MRI with one patient early, transfer out right before shift change. 

the week before i did a  night in PICU and a night in PCU.  picu was a lot of patient shifting as they got a few admissions. i've been trying to avoid the sickest kids.  they seem to be good with that.  

pcu i started with 2 patients, which meant i'd get 2 more.  i got busy making sure i was in a good place so i wouldn't be behind all night. the other nurse had the split assignment.  so she came and went as she had patients down the other end of the hall. she liked to tell stories and honestly, they were kind of long and i just didn't really have time to not do anything but listen to her.  she spent much of her time on the other side. i just figured they were her busier patients. 

at some point she came back over and started saying things like "i'm getting a vibe" and "i dont want to be that person".  i felt bad for half a second.  later, i realized that she just really wants to talk and talk and doesn't really want to listen anyway....so i probably was giving her a vibe. 

found out last night they hired a fairly new nurse to the job i interviewed for. i'm sure he is much more willing to do extra shifts.  i was annoyed this morning for a minute. i still use my mantra, "you are being ridiculous" to just let shit go because in general i am being ridiculous. my brain can create silly scenarios if i allow it. you win some you lose some...or it is what it is. that is how life is. it wasn't really the job for me.  in the end. it would probably have been a pay cut without union protections. 

my plan is to start looking for  secondary job some place less stressful to add some cash in and just change it up.  will anyone hire me? who knows. it won't be the same pay....which is why probably good to hang with these two shifts/week. benefits, the schedule i want generally, good pay. 

when you don't change your situation, you can always change your vantage point. 

these are a variety of photos from this summer. Valdez, the boat trip. walks with the dogs. 

i'll crash soon with some snacks.  getting hungry.  ate early. 

loved the many wildflowers.  still some out there, not as much, quickly turning to fall up here. 

you have to get out there and enjoy every moment of summer since it all changes so fast. 

of course, i also find i feel more relaxed as the darkness and cold return, knowing i can chill more and not feel guilty.  

the handyman stopped by this morning to do measurements. hopefully, he can get the deck/siding done this weekend. 

i'll try and do a few day trips and then get ready for Homer 

the olympics finished. so we are done with that for a bit.  winter ones will be next. 

doing a bit more rock painting.  it does relax me.  good to try and get off scroll mode and do some of those things that always make me happy

life has a way of sorting itself out. 

last week i did manage to get through this box of papers. amazing how rapidly paper piles can build up.  got some shredding to do.  i love shredding. 

it was sunny yesterday so i had to get the lawn mowed before it got too out of control  that will start to slow down again soon.  will winter come before the shed can get rebuilt? 

the pipe line above and lions head below.  the pipeline can be a great place to take a break and walk the dogs. wide open for walking and tennis ball tossing. 

fireweed

guess it's time for snacks and bed. 

grateful for a. coworkers that don't find me to have a vibe.  b. tennis balls, my hip pain is helped by sitting on them. my ass needs a massage! c.  these cute sandhill cranes chilling in the neighborhood. also loving the baby walrus at the Sealife Center. not on display yet. fingers crossed i get to see her

i don't even like football...

 but thanks to the iitoo everyone is all up in arms about these kneeling players.  he's always gotta create chaos and a distraction from his crap.  Russia, crazy UN speech....deflect, deflect.

 these are still on the drive from Fairbanks home via the Richardson Highway.

 i just kind of think it's funny how offended all these people are who oddly didn't seem very offended at all when the iitoo was battling it out with the Kahn family...who had a son die in the war.  There were also the incredible rude and offensive statements about McCain, who served in the military and was a POW for several years.  then there is the purple heart that he was handed at a rally and then seemed to belittle it's meaning by stating he'd always wanted one.

 pussygrabbing comes to mind...i mean this guy is offensive but for his supporters none of that matters but a football player kneels during the National Anthem at a football game and there were actually people screaming treason.  really, treason?  perhaps they might want to look up treason because this is so not a case of treason.  the comments are beyond crazy, these people are livid without a real cause.  you don't like Hollywood (unless that person has your same values of course or is from a reality tv show and then you have no issues electing the guy POTUS)...don't go to movies, don't like the football players protest tactic, don't go to games.

 i don't find it offensive.  I'm not sure it's really been effective.  mostly everyone seems to be speaking about right to free speech and not the issues of racism that the initial act was supposed to be focusing on.

 guess the first time the player did this he just remained seated.  he got flack for this being disrespectful...he changed it to kneeling.  from what i understand...and again i do not watch football...football players do occasionally kneel.  from what i have noted this is done out of respect for a fallen player?  so why did he alter it?  was it because he did not intend to show any disrespect but wanted only to make a point.  why the anthem?  i have no idea.

 when blacks protest, when blacks try to do anything to speak out, they are not heard.  i get that.  at least he is getting heard.  or iitoo has made all this worse and not better as he seems to have no ability to formulate a speech that is not divisive and argumentative.  why is he getting involved with this anyway with Kor wanting to bomb us...oh wait he's pissing them off too.  again it's a distraction from his own failings to go to a rally ( why did he sign up to run in 2020 on the same day he was inaugurated...so he could collect more money?  so he could choose who he spoke to?)  and call them son of bitches and demand the team owners fire them.

 i have read also that it wasn't that long ago that teams were not even in the stadium for the National Anthem.  they stayed in the locker room.  many pictures i see of these team members kneeling, you look behind them and others are standing but not really paying attention and for sure not bothering to put their hands on their chests.

 guess in my opinion we have much bigger fish to fry and it seems pretty silly that so many who support this iitoo are offended by this but for some reason not by all the offensive crap he does.  he's needed some reminders from his wife a few times to put his hand up on his chest during the anthem.

 lets not forget how he took deferment after deferment to get out of going to Vietnam.  don't think it was because he was against the war so much as he was able to get out of it so he did.  that isn't offensive at all.  again...his rally's rev up his base and feed his ego and create a distraction from the crap he is pulling.

 was watching the PBS series about the Vietnam War. it is interesting.  war is brutal and that one seemed especially brutal.  i read quite a bit about it.  was curious.  it was ending as i was growing up.  i didn't remember a lot about it, but heard enough to be curious.  i remember some discussions about draft numbers.

 didn't sleep in too long today.  have been thinking i may not go all the way to Homer.  finding myself dreading the drive.  maybe a day trip to Seward.

 the pups are all clean right now.  so fluffy.  met my friends for a dog party at the dog pool.  the pups all had fun.  then bath time...after that i came home and did some house chores. the pups went into zoomie mode.  you would think they would be beat after the day they had.

 lots of wind blowing out there.

 we headed to Kincaid for a loop in Jodphur.  we took the trails and then took a side trail to the ocean view trails.  i had to keep reminding Tusker to stay "on trail".  he did pretty good.  no moose or bears spotted, which is good with me.

 after that i grabbed a bite and then we still had just a bit of time to kill so we hit Cabela's.  zipped each pup through on training runs in the store.  no time to shop though...booked to the pool

 listened to a ted talks (i think that stands for Technology, Education and Design) hmm.  not sure.  they have a podcast so i occasionally listen to that.  this one today was on failure.

 it was actually discussing the good side of failure.

 we all fail. the talks were more about accepting failure and even being willing to fail.

 when our nation was trying to get to the moon, we did eventually have success but there were many failures along the way.  trial and error is how we often find our way forward.  we have to be willing to fail.

 one speaker was talking about having a God complex and this unwillingness to see ourselves as capable of failing.  they say people like this often stay much longer in situations rather than admitting failure. they fear so much how they will be seen.

 again...the pipeline joined me along the way

 you must be brave enough to fail.  i have ideas sometimes but i don't do anything with them.  I've always seen it as laziness purely.  i am afraid to fail?  probably more lazy. haha. success can be complicated as well.  the more you have the more complicated life becomes.  i like simple.

 i have done very well at trial and error.  i tried out many universities and colleges.  tried out many different career paths.  trained as a zoo keeper, took a hand writing analysis class, changed my major many times. dated a variety of men.  investigated many different religious options.

 I'm sure to some i would be a failure...or to one brother we are all failures. of course, i believe his standard is based on financial success.  i think there are many ways to be successful that are not all measured by financial success.

 i don't regret all the experiences I've had. the major moves, the many friends i have met along the way.  how my eyes have opened through all of this.  i feel i am a better me for having experienced what i have.  for having failed at things.  for having tried things.

 i agreed with the various speakers they highlighted.  failure is an option.  chop off your hair, get that tattoo.  get out of that bad marriage, change careers.  move...

 at the very least, if you are miserable in your current situation in life be it work or romance..make a move. martyr's are miserable.  you can be a martyr to a specific cause, but being a martyr in  your life seems pretty sad.

 if you feel a protest will help go for it.  you may fail but you may succeed.  this guy was brave to take a stand...or kneel i guess.  he had no idea how it would turn out.  he had no idea what else to do.  i won't slam him for trying.  like that line in a song.  you gotta stand for something or you will fall for anything

 did he fail?  it seems not at this time.  at least people are talking...well some are just yelling. he may have succeeded in getting attention but maybe not for his exact cause.

 i have far more respect for a man who decides to try to make a difference than the folks who sit on facebook all day bitching about it.

 as i said, i don't like football anyway.

 i do think blacks in our nation continue to get the shaft and our current iitoo has made the situation worse not better.  he has a way of doing that with all things.  i miss having a calm, rational POTUS.

 these last pics are from a walk up Portage Pass.  clear, beautiful day out there.

 looks to be back to raining.  i picked up two bags of leaves from the yard today.  trash day is tomorrow. as a dog owner i have to try and keep the yard raked up...gets tough to find the dog poops otherwise.  save my shoes.

 the pups are all clean and fluffy tonight. so adorable.  many have commented as late that Ivy Rose looks more fluffy these days.

 post dental procedure my mouth has decided to break out in canker sores.  so painful!!  so annoying.

 pups had a fun day out here.  such a great trail

 i also managed to put what is left of the deck furniture away.  summer is getting put away...winter is coming.

 i keep feeling i have spiders crawling on me tonight.  i may be losing my mind.  of course, I'm sure some have felt i lost my mind years ago.

 below is the first pool you hit when you have finished going up and up and up on this trail.

 it's deep enough for the pups to swim in.  guess i could swim in it as well.  probably pretty chilly though.

 looks like a drop off going the other way.  great views that was as well.

 well, i should crash.  it's nearly 1 am again. I'm a night owl, what can i say.

 don't be afraid to fail.

grateful for:  a.  fun pool party with friends  B.  my many failures that brought me to my successes  C.  freedom, and those who are willing to fight for us all to keep those freedoms.