domestic supply of infants....

this is in their draft. these words are in the draft. it's what they want...a domestic supply of infants. women are just incubators to some of these folks.  a video of a NYFD firefighter screaming that our bodies are not ours, that men own them. that men own our bodies.  it's crazy really. so many from the GOP saying things that are so insane, unthinkable. if you are getting raped just lay back and enjoy it? if a baby comes of it, well it's Gods will and a gift. or if you get pregnant from it getting an abortion won't take away the trauma of the abortion so why have the abortion. there is really no coming back from the insensitive and ridiculous comments coming from these so called right to lifers. 

again, they do not care what happens to these babies once they take a breath. the right will certainly do nothing for them at any level really. if they are white and not addicted to drugs, well they may find homes, otherwise...who knows really. they certainly could care less. they vote against these babies and their parents at every turn. the sins of the parents are thrown in their face and they do not deserve help. mostly it is women who bear the brunt. should have kept those legs together. shouldn't have gotten drunk, shouldn't have worn such provacative clothing. 

life begins at concept, only both the bible and the constitution give taking breaths and being born as the times life starts. the bible says, the bible says....well, not everyone believes in the same things they believe in and yet that doesn't stop them from demanding that everyone in our nation and on the earth live by their religious doctrines/beliefs. they don't want the government to pay....well you all seem to support sending billions to israel and yet they allow abortions and their government pays for it. 

these states bills make even spontaneous miscarriages up for possible prosecution. they are trying to say life begins at fertilization, not even just at implantation. they have lost their collective minds. the female has absolutely no say in their bodies. they want to get rid of the option of birth control. the laws they are trying to make normal go so far beyond any sort of kindness, common sense or rationality. it's absolute control.  the Roe Vs Wade was built on privacy.  once you destroy a persons rights to privacy and their freedoms in their own homes.  we may lose the right to have interracial marriage, gay marriage, birth control...say goodbye to the right to privacy while hospitalized.  these bills are trying to make any medical persons liable in the event any female comes in with a miscarriage or post abortion...things that are the same.  women will die without getting medical abortions as they end up septic from an incomplete abortion...whether spontaneous or induced. they demand that medical staff report these things. 

it's just one thing after another with these lunatics on the right. freedom of religion needs to also include freedom from religion. your beliefs are not everyones believes. you follow your own crazy beliefs and leave the rest to us. Gods will...so if there is no return from Gods will  then perhaps you should never enter and ER yourself. i mean if getting pregnant and dying from that pregnancy is Gods will then so is dying from diabetes or cancer is also Gods will and you should refuse all and any forms of medical treatment because that would be cancelling Gods will. 

why do you believe you should have this control over women.  

back to work tonight. i woke too early, my brain was ruminating and must have woken me up. i'm swinging back and forth between these abortion issues and some bizarre, irrational concern that Tusker is out there somewhere and one day i will run into him out on the trails and he will run to me looking to be protected and rescued and we will be together again.

last week i worked ICU, Peds and then ER. not a bad week really. did get news that i will be able to drop that one shift every other week and go part time.  i can pick up that shift but i can also drop a shift and have that mental day of recovery which feels needed after so many years at the bedside. just to have that option. as you look at the craziness of what may come, what may be required of healthcare staff in regards to reporting women who are having spontaneous abortions or had abortions or have ectopic pregnancies...work may become dangerous and unbearable. 

for most of us, the patients and their rights come first.  there will always be those who put their religious and political views ahead of their commitment to patients and patient safety and confidentiality. there was one in Texas that turned in a woman who had complications post an abortion i think it was and she was taken arrested? 

as marijuana gets legalized...will that change due to the dropping of privacy laws? anyway....prisons will empty out of marijuana offenders and fill up with women who have had spontaneous abortions or abortions. morgues will find themselves with women dying of sepsis and ectopic pregnancies. more children will become orphans as their mothers die from these complications. more children will be born into homes that do not want them.  more children will be victims of violence, abuse and neglect.  more children will be born addicted to drugs or impacted by alcohol. more victims of rape and incest will be further traumatized by having to carry and possibly raise the children born of that violence. more women will be forced to deal with their rapists and the rapist relatives after giving birth to the child of that rapist. more babies will be abandoned or killed after they are born from mothers who are distraught, depressed and incapable of coping.  more suicides....more unsafe, illegal abortions. 

Ukraine...sickened by all the rape victims...the ones that have survived to report how they were gang raped.  many are pregnant.  many can't get abortions. many are further traumatized by the fact that they saw loved ones murdered.  this isn't just an issue here, this is a global issue. 

as long as women are seen as nothing more than receptacles of babies and our value is only in our ability to reproduce true freedom will not have a chance. 

have hit the dunes and the dog park and campbell airstrip. friends were in town so i got to visit with them.  met with friends for dinner the last few nights. now back to work for three.  Resource pool office moved so i found that and it will feel more like home once we are really in and put our own little homey touches on it 

i'm getting mentally ready for his next groom.  will need to acclimate him to the table. 

had to take a cab yesterday.  he went wrong direction so that cost me extra money. when i went to pay the thing didn't put in request for tipping so not sure what happened. probably hit a button wrong.  felt bad, but also i had to pay more on the meter because he went wrong way and then forgot to stop the meter when we arrived causing more money to go on the meter as i couldn't begin to pay until he stopped meter. the tip thing can be ridiculous at times. 

like i stopped for a loaf of bread at Great Harvest Bread.  i go to the counter and they turn around and grab a loaf and i pay for that loaf...why am i being asked to tip people for turning around and grabbing a loaf off a shelf and handing it to me?  i can see when people do a service...but then again.  i'm performing a service every day at work but we don't get tips. i'm doing a hell of a lot more than reaching behind me and grabbing a loaf.  the whole tipping thing is pretty stupid.  pay them a living wage and lets stop this madness. 

the elements appointment is cancelled. have been driving the dogs around in the element for walks this past week.  nice to have the car back in business. Ivy still seems to respect Tuskers spot.  if, for some insane reason, my bizarre instincts prover right and we run into him out there again one day. he can easily rejoin our family and sit in his rightful spot. not sure if these thoughts mean i am losing my mind or not. i suppose a "fantasy" about the return of a loved one is not all that uncommon.  

the trees are turning green rapidly. love this time of year.  it's a mess but the new life is popping out all over.  

still many areas of snow.  

we did hit the powerline pass trail last week.  still a lot of snow.  some post holing and slush.  makes for a bit of a treacherous walk.  

with the return of all this daylight there is always a bit of increased stress and anxiety. you feel this massive obligation to be outside and going and doing.  there is guilt for every minute you waste not being outside, not doing things. not exploring. 

need to make an appointment to see if i can get some sort of injection in this knee to make it more comfortable.  also need to get another skin check.  with my family history i need to be better at getting this checked annually 

baby formula shortages...and they want more babies. we can't feed the ones we have. 

covid cat enjoys a nap while being watched. 

writing is clearing my head so hopefully soon i will return to bed and try for another few hours of sleep. want to have good rest before i start back to work. 

i do feel like i've done quite a lot with my two days off. need to look at various yard clean up crews.  find one that will get the yard up and running post winter. it is nice to just hire folks to clean up all the old leaves and such.  at this point the bulk of the winters old dog poops have been picked up. 

these are from a road trek last summer. these are June.

lazy cat.

what things will i see out there this summer. you never know up here.

my mental state....i'm in a much better place than i was a year or so ago. more acceptance of the limits of certain relationships.  when it comes to some i have realized that they just aren't that into me.  they do not see me as worthy of the effort.  it has been very sad and depressing but ultimately very freeing. once you let go of relationships that were really only in your mind.  all they really want of you is some obligatory call once every 6 months or once every few years or really never again. 

the family reunion this summer may be the last i see or hear from many of those people. i feel like i will put myself there once more and those who actually want a relationship can make that clear through their words and actions, those that don't....well screw them really. 

that sounds harsh i'm sure. the truth is at some point you need to walk away from people who have very little interest in being a part of your life. who have very little, if any respect for you, who are not and have not been there for you, who have not returned the many attempts to keep or maintained actual, real world relationships. some spend their entire lives prepping for the mystical next life.  i suspect they miss out on a lot of real life experiences in their obsession with getting into some higher level in the next life. 

the God idea seems less and less realistic and more fantasy.  spirits....i think that there is an existence beyond this. i just doubt it's some organized, hierarchy.  i suspect there is no judgement day or all powerful God in charge or in any sort of control.  the bible seems like a blend of blurred history and fantasy.  in that book, or those books, the God that is there is pretty brutal at times.  there is infanticide, mass murder, incest...rape.  if that God exists, this idea of that god being some loving and kind deity seems a bit far fetched. i mean a flood that wipes out everyone except one family that builds an ark and manages to collect two of each type of animal in some floating zoo. the death/killing of all first born children.  the impregnation of a virgin by a spirit. 

i'll take reality and common sense over a faith in absurdities. all the stories in all of this fall apart the more you ask the questions and analyze the responses. 

live a good life and be a good person because that is what you should do and how you should act, not because of some fear of where your acts will land you after you die. 

enjoy the beauty that surrounds us.  be kind, but also be rational.  do not demand of others things that are not in their faith but are instead of your own faith. be willing to live with the consequences of your actions and choices. 

walk away from those who judge you or those who will always see you as a person of lesser quality.  life is too short to try to please people who have low expectations of you as a person.  who will only judge you for the box they put you in instead of the person you really are.

walk away from those who bully you or demand you live by their morals or values while dismissing your morals and values.  realize that many are not happy with where they are and who they are and they will attempt to diminish you in order to feel better about who they are. you are not responsible for the happiness of others, you are responsible first to yourself. 

get your own house in order.  judge not, nor accept the judgement of others.  

enjoy all the beauty of this life and this earth.  whether there is a heaven or not, today is the day to live and enjoy the beauty we have before us. this is what we have. do not get bogged down by all the what ifs.  do not live in fear of a deity or hell that simply may not exist or a judgement day that may not be as harsh as you have made yourself fear. be kind, be inclusive, do not judge.  we can't possibly walk in all the paths so we must only walk in ours and hold out a hand to help others who have to struggle with much more painful lives.  be grateful for the many things that make your life easy. 

why complicate all of these things more than they need to be. the sun came up, you woke up.  you have people and/or furs in your life that love you, support you, accept you.  lean in to the good stuff and walk away from the negative or bad stuff.  heal yourself and help others heal. 

explore, create, be brave, be free. 

beauty is found in the grand and the tiny.  look for it all with eyes open and ready to receive. 

the bounty is there.  we just have to be open to it all. we have to be willing to walk away from negative and toxic situations and people and embrace all that brings us peace and joy. 

i miss this guy....off to snuggle and nap with some sweet furs.  

grateful for A. the people who accept and respect B. the furs who are the best, being adored. C. calm, peace, joy, beauty. we will all get by, with a little help from our friends. 
 

June is half over...oh no!!

 

need to be out there walking these beasts.  i'm moving slow today. went to bed too early..well had a late nap, which turned into an all nighter.  some times we just need to sleep i guess.  woke up at odd times.  

ended up just doing an over night out in Valdez.  tent camped at the KOA. i hadn't done that before but i think i like it. quiet, not down town. no crazy rabbits.  mosquito's more than biting flies.  

now i head back to work again tonight.  things are getting more back to normal. 

did slow drive to/from Valdez with lots of stops. 

this taken inside at midnight....way more light outside.

we are already almost to solstice.

i decided to text the Matanuska Glacier folks again about visiting...could i do a guided trek to the front of the glacier with the dogs.  they responded.  told me to ask for Bill and he'd take me out.  i had no idea what i was in for.  

in the end.  he just had me follow him in my car and then just made sure i was cool with just staying in front of the glacier. that was all i wanted so it worked out fine.  no charge.  he said if i ever have any problems to ask for him.  he must be one of the owners.  he just said i hadn't been allowed back last time i came so no charge this time. 

he also mentioned that the rules are new and evolving.  so obviously it wasn't their intention to stop all other activities...one of these days i need to just head out to do the glacier walk tour without the dogs, but it is good to know that it can be arranged to have them come and play and take photo's.  it turned out pretty so it was a great little stop again. 

the wildflowers are for sure popping out along the sides of the road.  we made lots of stops as i said.  the dogs were wiped out by the time we got back to Anchorage...as was I. 

the next two days were just dog park days.  partly because we were all a bit tired and partly because the news this week was full of bear encounters.  

one woman in Palmer had gone for a hike/run and had called her husband to say she was being chased/attacked by multiple bears and had used her bear spray.  i'm guessing a female with second year cubs.  he didn't hear from her again and called for help.  the search happened and as they were calling it off for the night, it sounds like she had made her way out of the woods with mild injuries.  had gotten off the trail and it took time to find her way out.  

another attack occurred on the Kenai.  a couple had kayaked across Skilak Lake and were tent camping on the other side. they were awoken by a bear attack. the male got injured worse, wasn't able to walk out so they paddled some six miles out in the middle of the night. they were prepared and calm, called for help once they reached a campground on the other side of the lake. help soon came for the pair. 

i also nearly ran into a black bear this past week.  i was with the dogs walking down the airstrip. 

a guy called from the other side of the airstrip "bear".  i immediately started crossing to the other side where he was.  as i kept walking i saw a large black bear on the other side of the grassy knoll i had been just about to come up to. amazing how these large animals can be hard to spot from different angles. 

i did make a call about a hotel in Valdez. the cost is nearly $300/night.  still haven't found any great options there besides tenting.  

tenting isn't so bad really.  it was nice weather and there were no reports of bear activity in the campground. i camped by others.  i have a blow up mattress...though Ivy took over a large portion of that for the entire night...only moving to the dog beds after 8 am.  

they are overall great camper dogs.  lay quiet as i put the tent up and took it down in the morning.  would have been easy enough to stay another night.  

i did get a few things done these last few days.

i have arranged the carpet install.  as for the other flooring...i may just buy the flooring and stuff i need and figure it out.  the flooring guys won't touch the stove or fridge and expect me to disconnect them both and move them outside or into the garage.  others install flooring so i suppose i could get some tips. may be able to just shift the fridge and stove without ever disconnecting them.  

so we shall see.  cheaper if i do it myself i know but can i? 

not sure my knee would be too happy about it. would take more time but as i said, from all i have heard it isn't an impossible task.  i have the flooring selected.  

the dogs had their annual check as did I.  now i need to go pick up the prn meds i like to have on hand. 

so far i'm still not on anything daily.  i know the cholesterol levels have been borderline and the last a1c was borderline as well.  the joys of aging.  life catches up.  my bp was good and other than this nagging Covid induced anxiety i'm doing well. 

that seems a bit improved as well since the covid stuff is starting to fade...hoping the anxiety fades with it. it used to just be situational...like getting on an air plane...now it can be more random.  

the cats always entertain.  Covid Cat zipped pretty far up a tree this morning going after a stellar, photo's to follow. no way he got near the jay but i did get far enough up the tree to make himself a little nervous coming back down.  silly cat

some mornings after work Miss Breezy has made her way out of the dog door...a new skill for her.

enjoy all the pets and chill time with them.  

re-watched that Tom Hanks movie about Mr Rogers.  i actually didn't watch that show growing up.  good movie though.

read his bio later.  there were rumors that he was a big war hero, he was never in the military.  he was a trained minister. 

the Element is getting outfitted for being the dogs car...i'm always asking myself whether i should take my car or the dogs car now.  stopped by the bike shop and found someone who was able to wrestle the old bike rack off the back.  his now.  he was happy and i was happy.  i just never used it much, i can just shove a bike into the back of the element.  i should bike more as it would be good strengthening for the muscles around the knee. 

i have the rack for the top of the new car but i noted an issue with the installed roof racks as i headed out of town to Valdez...so now i have an appointment to get that addressed on Monday. 

so i have actually done a few things this week off. 

never thrilled to go back to work.  trying to adjust my attitude though.  

things are improving overall. 

found this artist in Valdez who had some walrus art....very cool. not everyone does walrus stuff. bought some stickers which could be great for our next lecture for the island...hopefully we can do it next spring!!  will add those to the goodie bags we give out. 

here is the Element getting all worked on.  so far it seems to be running fine.  i'm still not ready to take it to Valdez or Homer but it is great to tool around with the dogs.  they do seem to like it more than the other one.  easy for Ivy to jump in. 

here are a few from the trip. as you can see it was a beautiful day in front of the glacier.  soon after we drove out we hit a down pour in Glenallen.  by the time we got closer to Valdez it was beautiful out again. 

the lupine and wildflowers made for a pretty drive.  the red back below is all columbine

may make a quick drive to Reflection Lake and see what those flowers are doing. 

the shot above is in Valdez at the glacier past the airport, i think it is Valdez Glacier/Lake. 

this one was driving back from town to the KOA for the night.  

back at the lake for puppy play and shots the next day.

a few more of the Matanuska Glacier.  

we really live in an amazing place.  so much easy access to pretty places.

hopefully next year i can plan a bit more for some adventures that take me off the road system.  

things are a bit nuts still up here.  

always looks cool in black and white.

took a few rocks with me.  

Ivy is a bit grey now. she turns grey from the silt in the water of glaciers.  

thankful for A.  another fun escape.  safe travels. B.  options C. that i have had work through all of this, even if it was difficult some times.