wet outside....

 

so i am chilling at the moment.  thought i'd drop in some pictures. these are still just fall/mushroom walks around town. 

after 3 days of big photo ops i slowed down the last two days. 

yesterday we did the loop at Campbell Airstrip. always pretty this time of year..what isn't pretty this time of year.

the colors peak and ebb in different places at different times so it's really just getting out there and wandering. 

headed to Potters but the weather was coming in and the swans were a ways off.  too far for even my bigger camera.

i have a massage scheduled for tomorrow. first since the covid crap. 

our nation is now over 200,000 dead, but the right just keep trying to rebrand it...successfully for their lot it seems.  whatever terrible number we reach they simply move the goal posts of what unacceptable deaths are. many on the right simply deny many if any are dying of covid.  never mind that our overall death rate for this year far exceeds the averages...even above the 200,000. 

they push forward with their desire to get rid of healthcare benefits for those in need even during a pandemic.  

basically, it's victim blaming.  oh your loved one died of covid? they must have had a pre-existing condition that is what really killed them.  it's a conspiracy...always a favorite go to and blaming in general is the way of the right. they are never responsible for anything it is always everyone else's fault.  the refrain has been repeated so often it should be laughable at this point...but sadly it's our reality.  

now with RBG death they were immediately all over that making excuses as to why suddenly replacing her so close to an election is correct when replacing a justice during Obama's entire last year in office was an abomination. she requested that she not be replaced until after the election but trump comes out and says that must have been a lie and suddenly all his followers are repeating him.  they call the left sheep and yet they are the ones who repeat everything they hear on right wing media and from the fools mouth.  they are the ones blindly following him into rallies and coming out even more brainwashed. 

it's become the party of lawlessness and disorder.  Covi Cat doing a nice stretch.

the mushroom numbers are down from what i can see...there are also many more leaves down as well which may just be covering them.  mushrooms are in charge of decay so my guess is they are out there, thriving in the decay of the season. probably just different ones cropping up. 

i don't see any peaceful way out of the mess that our nation has become.  this election must be won heartily but i'm not sure i believe it will be. they have put the choppers on the postal service, they have been working on voter suppression for decades, they have a hearty campaign of disinformation going out there with the right wing media and crazy groups like Qanon and 4/8 chan. the response from their followers on the propaganda is nearly immediate at this point. they don't even balk or ponder any of it, they just believe it all.  believe the conspiracies, the lies....it's really shocking. 

the reds are fading around here. 

the dogs are still coated in silt.  on Sunday i headed out to the Matanuska Glacier.  it was still open so we had a few hours once we arrived. it was clearing in Anchorage when we left and it was raining much of the drive out there.  still beautiful for with fall colors though.  as we approached the glacier the sun came out and we enjoyed our time out there.  

the colors were still pretty nice up to the glacier, started to fade at the glacier though.  the dogs had a great time playing in all those kettle ponds...

years ago when i would go there, it was mostly just a river run off of the glacier, there were ponds one you were walking on the actual glacier but now there are little ponds all over out in front of the glacier.  it really has receded quite a lot since i first saw it. i'm sure much of the receding is vertical.  the depth of the glaciers is often where much of the loss is seen.  i usually just see the face of the glaciers and go by that. 

the GOP have the votes it looks like.  Romney will vote with party on this one.  he usually does.  he did vote for the impeachment. the right won't forgive him for that i'm sure. 

our overall covid cases in state have been fairly level for some time now.  hospitalizations are steady, once people go in though, especially if they get intubated they will take up a bed for some time.  most icu patients are intubated like 2-5 days on average i'd guess....but the covid patients are intubated on average 2-5 weeks so once they fill an icu bed it's filled for a very long time, which is why so many hospitals can get overwhelmed quickly.  

i got an email that i was exposed in ER on the 11th, so far a few minor imaginary symptoms but overall i am near the end of the time of concern.  i feel like i get exposed most days i  am there, especially in the ER so i am never really safe feeling.  i try to be paranoid at work so i can be calmer at home.

what way will RBG's death tip election.  part of me suspects the senate will not vote on this until after the election as that will drive more on the left to polls where as the idea of getting another right leaning judge will drive the right to the polls. it remains to be seen.  the hypocrisy on the right is on full display...they also use anything they can to distract from the 200,000 covid deaths.  

i would love to see a few, like Graham and McConnel get blasted in the elections but our own fool here gets elected over and over and over again and doesn't need to do a thing to make that happen at this point.  he literally puts the exact same signs with the same slogan up every few years.  only the good are dying at this point.  why is that?  

there were a bunch of these fungi a few weeks back, didn't see any on yesterdays walk.

i like that several papers and news outlets highlight individuals lost to Covid.  the right can try to deny but these lives are being lost. recently a young MD in Texas passed away.  she had no pre-existing conditions just did a rotation in the ER and got covid. sadly, even 200,000 deaths aren't enough to reach those who are in denial, who forgive this government and this crap leader all the failures when it comes to this pandemic. 

it's nearly noon.  where to walk today.  will need to put on the big hiker pants, the rain coat and load up.  the dogs could care less, and really me either once i'm out there. 

what amazing things are to be spotted on any given walk.  

the furs and nature have helped me get through this madness.  some days i'm barely hanging in there.  

we do have a little rebel group text with some family members who are not trumpy trumpers, which is really helpful.  just to know there are a few like minded in the family.  that not all have gone full on to the side of trump. 

look at that giant mushroom!!

and a family of shrooms.

and another find of those tiny blue shrooms

we have had a great year for mushrooms. i have totally enjoyed them all.  last year we had very few, heat, fires, not sure, but this year we have totally made up for it.

this one below is a cup fungi that was in my yard, it has now disintegrated. 

i've come to the belief that most in my family just want the most basic of relationships with each other.  we have a group text.  i think many really just want a photo here and there from my brother and I.  those that want more will actually pick up a phone and give a call.  even that is limited.  the sad truth is most never really wanted a relationship with their siblings.  it's like that thing, "he's just not that into you". it's true for not just romantic relationships but for all. people who want to be in your life, make an effort to be in your life. those that don't, won't. i have hit my head against the wall, tortured myself and my self esteem for far too many years hoping for what really was never much of an option.  

letting go is still a struggle and i think it always will be. how does one stop hoping when it comes to family...but i think i am on a path of much lower expectations. 

the politics of the day have just widened the gap that already existed.  

i walked away, but even amongst themselves there is only a very basic relationship. this was how it was going to be.  when i look at the efforts over the decades it was, in several of the relationships, over 90% effort on my part and only like 10% effort on theirs...that was always a losing percentage.  it just took me a long time to catch on. 

that is how life is in general. not just family.  there are people who put in the effort and those that don't.  it's easy to assume that means you are not liked, but it's probably more of a reflection of overall laziness and distraction with one's own life. still....i do believe people do put in that effort when it is truly important to them.  so you can be willing to be the one putting in the bulk of the effort on relationships in this world but you do have to set some limits and have some expectations over time of some return.  

it's tough though, waiting for any kind of return.  clearly i lack social skills or my personality is too bothersome for the average person to want to deal with. someone like me, has to put in the bulk of the effort or become a total recluse, which can be tempting some days. i try to remind myself that there are many out there who feel the same, who feel like they are not liked when it may just be the sad state of our current society.  saw a political cartoon, it had A- ME-RICA...the me part was being stolen by trump....i suspect our entire nation is doomed by way too much ME in all of our lives.  

we have all forgotten to watch out for each other...other than send cash some place.  humans need humans and we seem to have forgotten how to care for each other.  we are more concerned with I and less with US. 

when does it turn around? how many must die before people awaken to what has become of this nation? clearly, 200,000 isn't enough.  half a million? a million?  a few million? when do people find the compassion they have lost?  when does empathy become rediscovered? 

hate is very powerful. i've said for years, people became fearful after Sept 11 and fear turns to hate...well really ignorance turns to fear, fear turns to hate and hate is super easy to manipulate, which is what we have happening here. those who were ignorant became more and more fearful and they are easily swayed by propaganda. 

snuggle time happens often with the furs these days.  it's my therapy. 

massage, not sure how that works.  probably the first time i will have been physically touched in months...that is pretty sad.  not that i'm a big hugger, but us singletons are bereft of any physical affection at this point in many cases. how is it for those who don't even have pets to pet? 

still need to get brave and put up the shelves, then measure bathroom for tiles...probably get enough for both bathrooms. then i still have to figure out the main floor and the stairs and upstairs hall.  

flooring will make a huge impact in the overall look of the place.  looking a bit run down with that dirty carpet. 

the last of the amanita's out there for sure.

Covi is enjoying the wagon

will be filled with snow before you know it.  hopefully, i will have loads of photos to share over the darkness and cold seasons. 

thankful for A.  not being alone in my thinking.  B. pets and nature  C.  any good news...is there any out there?