each day an adventure in alaska: ER wipes me out....but i do like it there!

so here i am awake at 3:30 in the morning because i went to bed fairly early. slept a bit and woke up. tried to return to sleep, but here i am. clear the head time.

did several ER shifts this week. mostly holds. the other night was a strange night. i came there and instead of being put in west where the holds were they put me in main because they said i'd requested to not be put in west all the time. so they put their own staff doing holds and replaced their regular staff with me. i ran my ass off. it was poopy night. gagging happened.

the thing is...i never requested to have more time in the main ER or out of the holds area. i've gotten pretty comfy back there. i generally do a mixture of ER and holds for the first bit and then morph into holds. at times that means i go home a few hours early. not this stretch.

i think most of this 5 day stretch was ER with one cardiac surgery night. i'm trying to get off of that. i even tossed out that i have never done their education since they caught up with the fact that i hadn't signed up for the peds ER course. a two day course. i did do the adult one. it's also a 2 day course. for years they never told me i was required this to work ER and i worked for years in ER without it. so i always laugh that then they find i'm not compliant and are all, she can't work down here without it. the regular ER not the holds.

also ridiculous is that for the others who do end up working down there they don't notice they aren't in compliance. so it's been random over the years...so after my evaluation, they figured out i don't have the EPNC, just the TNCC.

there is a newer resource nurse that has started working in ER. after my busy night i asked her if she had requested to not work in west since the ER had said i had. i got spoken to by someone in their management saying they had done this at my request that night...much to my absolute confusion since, as i said, i never requested this. anyway, she denied she did but then did say she didn't want to work in the west. she is dating one of the charges down there so now i suspect he said something on her behalf and the person who told their management only knows float pool nurse and not us specifically. they may not know these two are dating. anyway, i must have cleared up that it wasn't me that had made this request as i was back in west doing holds the next night.

so we shall see if they take me off of straight ER until i get this course done. the next class is in April and it's full. my management said they will try to get me in. these are the things i am excited to be rid of when i do retire one day. haha.

doing my job is back to more normal it's all this stupid mandatory bull that always had annoyed me. proving over and over that you know the same crap. never liked jumping through hoops. that is nursing though.

my friend JH joined me on a beach walk. the dogs got nice and muddy.

we have a pool day scheduled for tomorrow so that should be fun.

the Blossom blanket. it makes it's appearance at times.

Monday walk was just me this week so i opted to head to Ruth Arcand Park. a fellow rocker had messaged me that she had created a memorial rock for me. Tuskers memory lives on. so i wanted to pick the rocks up she left me and drop off a few rocks as a thank you.

look at those mud boots!

love my new memorial rock. i ended up taking few photos of the pups with the rock. Ivy got oddly interested in it. will have to do that with the other rock another rocker made for me closer to Tuskers passing. i do miss him still.

this little guy remains snuggly and entertaining. so happy we found him and that he has joined our family....not sure the cats are always as enthusiastic. haha.

have just done local walks this stretch. Sunday i don't think i did anything. tired from my work week. the other day when they put me in main i walked over 10 miles in 24 hours. so ER can be quite a work out

i got another cabin so i have some cabins booked this year. we have Beluga cabin with friends in March, a cabin at Eklutna when some family is up. i also got Tonsina in Seward. i've never been there and have wanted to check it out. hope it's not too cold. not sure who is coming. was chatting with another ER nurse and she asked if she could come. she had randomly requested i paint a rock for her awhile back as well. she's one of the cool kids so it's funny that even as an adult you find yourself a little excited that one of the cool kids wants to hang with you. :-) we are all kids at heart i guess.

i also have Hunter cabin at Kseugi in August so some fun activities already getting planned. i have 3 trips to Homer planned. so just gotta think about yakutat as a last possible addition to the summer plans.

there will no doubt be other treks to Seward or Valdez.

i put together a little cabinet i bought. it was smaller than i thought. so not going to work for the entry way. want to re-organize and clear out that area a bit. i found a place for it. this week hopefully i work on that. would also like to work on the floor in the upstairs bathroom so that i can think of new doors for the place. still need new floor on the kitchen/living area. i can do doors without that though so that puts that project back..plus that one is more expensive.

still a few more months until spring.

signs of life, these are from last May.

other signs of life...bear tracks. always something to look forward to.

Matanuska Glacier back in 2021, fall

the front of the glacier changes so much each year when i go there.

this place is so dramatic...the entire state. i do love all the drama of it all. things change so much each year. the weather is always different. you just have to adjust and adapt accordingly.

it's all pretty though. you just have to be willing to explore

this is an old bridge that is just sitting by the side of a road. sometimes i just pull down random roads and see what is out there.

just finishing a uninteresting novel. will toss it in the little library. feeling like i need to get a list of the books the right is wanting to ban and start adding those in there. the far right is getting more and more ridiculous. their fascism is showing and they can't even see it. screaming about rights while systematically trying to take away the rights of everyone. their followers are too stupid to see it...they prefer them to be distracted by all the crazy crap they toss at them and it's not difficult to manipulate them as it turns out. as i always say. ignorance leads to fear, fear leads to hate and both hate and fear are super easy to manipulate.

not much is going to happen in the next two years because the right is just wanted to obstruct everything, cause chaos and drama. they want to investigate more baseless bull spewed from conspiracy theories.

they are attacking everyone and everything. M&M's. gas stoves, books, trans, wokeness...wish more people on the right would wake up! it's not happening. i get a glimpse every so often in the minds of the right. closed, not willing to even ponder they could me wrong. we were taught growing up to not look at things that would shake our faith...in other words. the free agency we were told we had was really only ever a manipulation. if you stray off and use the agency you lose your place in heaven, you lose your family...so Do Not Do It. hold fast to the iron rod. let go of your agency. it's crazy.

there are other crazy religions out there so i know it could be worse. was watching a little documentary about the Hasidic Jew community in New York. very few leave that, they said like 2 %. they are for sure shunned and lose their kids. they also have had limited education so finding any success outside their community is tough.

interesting that they said these communities were created totally by Holocaust survivors. they took steps to make sure they would be safe and insulated themselves from the outside world. in a way, they created a hell for themselves with all these rules. so many years later and they are so totally impacted by this horrific event. to their own detriment at times.

leaving high demand religious dogma is very difficult. you lose your family, you lose support, you lose foundation. for a time it can feel like you are being dropped from a plane with no parachute. in the end i am so grateful i had the guts to move away from it all. especially now, being woke as compared to the way i would have been made to view the world if i was still in. there are difficult moments even now that are for sure related to leaving but i'm always so much happier i left. i do hope the best for others who walk away from their high demand religions

it gives me hope to see that there are many who are walking away, are waking up. it's great to listen to their stories and see them finding freedom and happiness. there is more information and support for all of them at this time. these high demand religions have a lot of money and power and they are getting more and more desperate to force people back in. it's the rationale behind this Christian Nationalist movement. we hopefully can get through this with minimal loss.

like everything else, religions evolve over the ages. some come and go. there are literally hundreds of God/God scenarios in the history of man. those religions that can't evolve with the changing times fade away. those Gods get left on art forms. never to be worshipped again.

old buses down the same road as the bridge.

the fall scenery is always so beautiful

hopefully i can get back to sleep and get into a more normal sleep pattern for my days off.

reflections

not much else floating around in my brain tonight.

the trans stuff. the right is coming hard after this population. i was one who mocked them in years past. my own ignorance on the subject really. the right with it's bullying and condemnation have actually helped this population or are helping them. it was the same with the rest of the lgbqt population. their hatred and bullying made people like myself gain more empathy. made us look into the situation, listen to their stories.

it made us speak up and want to protect these people. they are a smaller group and need help. we are all just humans and we all deserve the possibility of happiness in our lives. nobody deserves to be treated with the hatred the right wants to inflict on these folks. the sad irony is that the right has lost touch with the message of the man who they insist they want to emulate. Jesus was woke. they would hate Jesus if he walked among us now.