woke +progressive=Christlike

 

that is what it is. if Jesus did happen to return to Earth and see what has become of this religion that is in his name, he'd be pretty disappointed i bet. i mean, religions hoarding millions/billions of dollars while children starve and get blown up. these are first litter kitten shots. would love to see how smokey Halfie became. it started at his toes but was rapidly expanding. this litter of 4 all got homes. this last litter of 6 i know 4 got homes. the other two i'm not sure what happened. i keep watching. they were both trying to gain weight so i suspect they may have been sent to another foster for that purpose. in the foster life it may be you have to tell yourself stuff some times. 

the other two just got to weight and were quickly adopted together, which is fun.  i also had the folks that adopted them comment on the shelter fb page so that was fun. they went to a little girl. renamed squish and skittles i think. 

they reached out with another litter this week, 1 week old, but i like to take road trips all summer and into fall. i'll plan on taking more litters over the winter. this last group did make a little mess in the room. maybe because they were older when i got them. 

these are frozen hearts from this winter. the hearts were a big success and brought happiness to many out on the trails. this made me happy. it's fun to do little things that you know will brighten up others out there. it also helped motivate me on days i wasn't really all that motivated. 

the bears are out now and the trees are really greening up. it's so beautiful with all those fresh leaves. 

tomorrow i head north to Denali for a few nights. the road in the park is open to mile 30, so 15 extra miles. doesn't seem like much i suppose but it's really fun to drive in a bit and see what you can see. i have a hotel in Healy that has a few dog friendly rooms. taking a break from packing presently. weather looks pretty good this weekend anyway. 

my last stretch off i went with friends to Tonsina cabin (public use) out of Seward.  we got a water taxi to get us out there.  just nice to get on the water and take all the gear right to the cabin. they shored up the area in front of the cabin with big rocks since there had been some erosion over the years. we had rain off and on but really much better weather than we expected. 

we saw seals, sea lions and otters along with loads of birds. the migration is happening. we saw huge groups of sandhill cranes merge overhead. that is one of my favorite bird calls. loon is up there as well. 

we had a few pretty good low tides and flipping over rocks we saw loads of sea stars. we even saw several sunburst stars which are really cool.

from there the dogs and i headed down to Homer to enjoy a few more days of pretty low tides. the first day was the lowest and i was happy i went out early as they brought in busloads of students. way too many but i get it. great for them to get out there.  i did see the usual stars, anemones and other critters. they students saw an octopus but i never found it. 

the dogs love the beach and again, we had better weather than expected. one afternoon i just sat on the spit enjoying it all for several hours. 

i had planned on this last litter of kittens only being with me for 2-3 weeks but after a month they were still battling bugs. lots of eye medication, 2 rounds. steams. they are all so adorable and i just enjoy having them. it's great mentally to have them as a distraction from the mess our nation is.  i'm lucky to be in a position that is fairly safe from this administration. my heart breaks for all those who fear retaliation and the cruelty at the hands of the right.  they are just consumed by hatred and i suspect many are not even aware of the hate they have unleashed on so many who they never interact with in their lives of privilege. their bubbles have very thick walls. they have zero interest in finding empathy with those that they have put at risk. 

i feel very anxious about it all. anxious about relationships and what they mean. i have enough people in my life that support this administration that i am unwilling to attempt to accommodate new people with the same views. if you are a trump supporter and i meet you i will not be adding you to any of my friends groups. i have to struggle with the relationships i have already with supporters of this monster.  i feel like the first time people voted for him was forgivable. there was a lot of misinformation out there, people got caught up in the conspiracies. the second time, i suspect many of us looked the other way at those that voted for him because he lost and we hoped we'd never have to deal with him again.  

this third vote, his voters were either willfully ignorant or they agree with what is currently happening, so it's been tougher to try to play nice. that is my view of it. i'm not as willing to look the other way. people's lives are being negatively impacted. people are literally being taken, refused due process and sent to other countries to detention camps. people's rights have been screwed with. we have an idiot in office who, when asked if he needs to work within the rules of the constitution says, "i don't know". they claim to be patriots and blast the left as being against the US and the constitution and yet they are the ones cheering for loss of rights like speech and due process. they are the ones supporting a man who probably hasn't even read the constitution let alone obey it.  his oath was clearly just another lie/performative act. 

they want to force their view of Christianity down everyone's throat no matter what. their form of Christianity is very much off message from Jesus though. can you imagine Jesus seeing these expensive evangelical church services with big bands and people flying through the air? can you imagine Jesus seeing the mansions preachers live in while their parishioners struggle to make ends meet? can you imagine Jesus seeing how these so called Christians treat the least of these? how they ignore his message to treat others as you would want to be treated, to love one another, to not judge? 

they want to save every fetus, but they have zero interest in helping those who are breathing actual oxygen. they vote against it, and they donate to churches who hoard the cash and buy land and build huge churches that house no one. 

there are medically fragile kids across the nation who spend months to years in hospital. they want all these kids born but where are they when those babies/kids need homes/cares. a church with multiple billions could really help families with these kids or prevent there from being any kids in foster care. they do not wish to help people only to judge them.

i've been getting my hours of late. a few times i think i have gotten to go home an hour or two early. always love that. the administration is apparently telling us we have no money. my first question is how many of them at the top have continued to get huge bonuses.  we are responsible for taking care of patients not for making sure the hospital is solvent, isn't that their job? seems odd to me. 

it's nurse's week. most nurses just feel fried and underappreciated by all.  i'm sure it's the same for teachers.  always the fall guys. i have little expectation of feeling actually appreciated. they have done a few things this week, they always do. it feels more obligation than appreciation, i think. 

that feels like life to me. i feel i am an obligation more than someone to be appreciated. i suspect many feel this way out there. 

i feel i am backing off from more and more people. when you stop reaching out to them you discover that the effort was 90% you.  they would be fine with the most minimal interactions. you have to then realize that this is not really any sort of actual relationship. it's not something to be angry at or even wallow in self-pity over. it's just the truth.  i am nobody's person.  i am liked by people though, i do have people who see me and want me in their lives.  it's just better to be realistic about my own expectations of what many relationships really are. if i don't put in the effort, the relationship mostly disappears. i have to also acknowledge that i have no doubt neglected people who i care about. so you can't get too pissed off. people get busy with their lives and they prioritize.  you just often are not the priority. 

i am happy with my simple life. i enjoy being out in nature, hanging out with my pets and occasionally with friends. i enjoy wasting time with games and books and little art projects. planning little trips.  wandering around looking at beauty in nature, listening to birds. 

work, doing the 2 shifts has really calmed me down. i have also backed off of doing the most ill patients. let the younger nurses handle that. i have benefits and i have enough in my paycheck to exist. if i die poorer what do i care. money is not everything. i'm happy i have explored and experienced so many beautiful things. i am happy that i have been able to interact with so many humans from so many walks of life.  the good, the bad, all of it.  it changes your perspective. 

nursing is often the worst, but it's also been very good.  i've been able to support myself. i've also had a constant reminder of how comfortable my life has been and how lucky i have been over these years.... luck vs privilege i'm sure as well. my family/upbringing was not perfect; we all have things to recovery from in life. overall, though.  i had a stable home. i always had a roof over my head and food on the table. i was mostly safe and cared for. i lived in a stable country. there were not bombs dropping on our neighborhood at any time. i've had relative peace and comfort. 

being raised in a fairly friendly cult wasn't the greatest for me but there are worse cults that do far more damage. mostly, it's just a strange belief system.  if my entire family had left everything would have been smooth sailing but so many still remain. sure that wearing secret underwear and doing secret ceremonies and have special names and handshakes will get them to the highest level in heaven.  it is what it is. to them i am the crazy one. to them i am the ungrateful one.  

in my view, i'm just a person who questions things and is never happy with thought ending cliche's. 

i was the one that never fit in the bubble. i was constantly trying to escape it. then i did. my life outside the bubble has been great for me. they have enjoyed life inside the bubble. many do. it just wasn't a place for me. 

religions often give people a deeper meaning.  for me, nature does that.  i just find that most organized religions have gone very far off message.  any and all things become corrupt if they are not kept in check. 

nations, families, churches, businesses, non-profits...people in general.  are people good at base, some are but some aren't. some are just rotten from pretty early. 

if Jesus were to return, my opinion is that he would be pretty pissed at what is said and done in his name. 

these winter scenes are gone for a few months.  i love winter, but i also love all the other seasons. i love the constant change of this place and the constantly evolving beauty. 

the light is out later and later. i always feel obligated to take in every second of the light.  by the time the light is leaving us in the fall i feel tired and ready for the return of the cold and dark. like a cocoon that wraps us all up in peace.

below is from our Manitoba yurt overnight this weekend. 

Sunny needs a groom. not sure i'll get to it before Denali. i still have some packing to do. i also need to do some spring cleaning.  

it's almost 9 pm.  where do the days go? there is a new pope. born in the US. he is apparently fairly woke and progressive. i'm good with that.  we need that in the world. woke really just means kindness and empathy and inclusion. just like being politically correct means that at the core. i'm convinced there are just many who need to be the opposite of woke and release their hate and cruelty in small bursts or they will have to really blow up.  we are experiencing the blow up. they aren't getting their way so they are exploding.  i hope they finish soon. hate is always just sitting below the surface, waiting to be told it's okay to be expressed. the right has granted these people the right to explode and wildly express their hatred. 

grateful for A. serenity and peace B. clarity C beauty