winter is coming soon...

 

the best revenge is a life well lived or eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we may die. in the end, it's probably less about revenge or whatnot. it's more about just living. living for what brings you happiness. focusing less on what I should think or feel. concerning myself less with what others think or feel. i just go and live. enjoying each day. not worrying so much about what gets done or doesn't get done. eventually, i have those days where i do get the chores done. if not totally, at least enough. 

there will always be more to do. things to clean and today, more leaves to rake. do some of it then get out there and enjoy the beauty. with all the crap happening in this nation, the end could always be near. 

Mass shootings are a daily occurrence. can't even report on all that has happened since i last wrote a blog. a big right-wing guy was killed and has now become their poster child. his racist, misogynistic and homophobic comments are there, but the right keeps saying all are taken out of context. this is their way of attempting to whitewash the truth of who he really was, but more who they are for revering him. Robert Redford died; his quotes don't need to be watered down or need context to attempt to have a different meaning. he was just a kind person so kind words were spoken. 

as many have said, if you want kind things to be said of you after you die be kind in life. this podcaster doesn't really have that history. he was killed in Utah by a gunman raised Mormon. this has caused backlash, perhaps. the other day, another gunman drove into a Mormon church and started shooting and lit the car on fire. most of these killers lean right, but the right tries to say it's all radical left folks or trans folks. in truth, it's access to guns coupled with lax gun laws and hate-fueled rhetoric. 

the other truth is that many evangelicals who are pushing for white Christian nationalism are using other Christian groups as tools until they gain all the power. The various Christian groups will never agree with each other, so once they do gain power, they will start to fight each other. many do not see Mormons as Christians. this event that happened in Utah just put in the wedge that was already there

religion has a long history of brutality. even after this event. many on the right will say that what everyone needs is more Christianity. sadly for them, this is starting to fall on deaf ears as the younger generations see the many flaws in religion. The extreme views and judgment towards others, coupled with hatred, are not very appealing to a generation raised knowing people of all colors, sexual orientations and religions. these same folks who call for more religion and more following or Jesus are also calling for the end of left-leaning humans, the end of undocumented immigrants, the end of Palestinians...you get the idea.

they are making a saint out of a jerk, though. Flags flown at half staff, he was flown in Air Force 2. They had moments of silence, plan a day of remembrance, they had a memorial service that looked very much like the party/show that is the usual Sunday service for the evangelicals, including pyrotechnics. the grieving widow seems more celebratory than, sad. people grieve differently but this seems very odd. 

my dog door is repaired, thanks MT. today, i do need to tackle the leaves in the yard. they do come down fast. still lots in the trees. they say it's good to leave the leaves down but i need to find the dog poops. i'm also putting up halloween decorations. 

done several day trips since returning from Gustavus. we had a great visit. I flew to Gustavus and we went for a paddle and a boat trip out into Glacier Bay. good weather and nice mushroom-filled walks. 

i skipped a fall drive to Denali as i was pretty beat after the trip. so lots of day trips. chasing fall a bit. also did an overnight at a new cabin with friends. Goetz cabin is beautiful. it's up at Arctic Valley. comfy and cozy, and the fall colors were amazing.  it's been hit and miss. Yesterday I drove to Hope. haven't been there is a bit so that was nice.

was looking for swans a bit too but they were all pretty far off. debating walking up at Powerline today. not sure if there will be extra moose. we are getting closer to rut season and being there with extra moose and Sunny Boy could be tough. He is 4 i guess now. basically skipped his celebrations. these dogs are pretty spoiled so every day is a celebration for them. 

the animals survived me being away. a friend from the dog park watched them. 

i did name the two remaining kittens. Otter and Abbyloni. sadly, before I left for Gustavus, Otter caught the mom's cold, and I had to let him go. I did get the mom and Abby back after I returned, and the baby is now 7 weeks and weighs 1 pound 6.1 ounces. they will return to the shelter on Thursday in search of a new home. she is a bit shy, like her mom. I still can't hold Rosie, though she loves play therapy sessions now. Abby loves to play as well. The little girl just hissed at my friend who visited while her husband fixed the dog door.

she's a miracle kitten, but she is chunky and happy. thriving. so that is great. hopefully, they find good homes. you have to assume the best for them, or you would drive yourself nuts.  

these are spring photos from last year. No more trips to Homer.  i find it gets dark so early. If I lived there, I would love cruising around this time of year. now, though, you end up holed up in the hotel room with nothing to do. 

took some day trips to Matanuska Glacier, Hatchers Pass and to Seward. debating another Seward run this week. i did Portage Valley and then Hope as i said.  it's a lot of driving. between those outings i do local hikes and hunt for mushrooms. 

as usual, if I don't initiate walks with others, it's just me. it does become frustrating to always feel like the main one initiating stuff. I try not to be a bother to people. i just go alone. it could very well be that i am the toxic person. I'm sure I am to some out there. my views are so counter to theirs that i know i am the odd one out and therefore the one seen as toxic, whether i really am or not. i can accept that to some in my life i will always be viewed as toxic. toxic can just mean you say things they do not wish to hear or admit. i can live with that. 

I am who I am. I've changed a lot because I examined my beliefs a lot and questioned things. it's something that I still do. in my view, questioning what feels right and normal is healthy. it's far too easy to just believe what you were told at a young age. it's not possible for any of us to be right about everything, nor were our parents. there are many who do live that lie though. believing that all they think and believe is the absolute and correct truth/reality. it's just not possible. it's also very arrogant and elitist thinking. 

always ironic to me that I have gone 180 on almost all I was taught, but I'm called close-minded. how is that possible? 

I found the mushroom I was hoping to see while I was in Gustavus. also, the amanita there were white and brown, not orange/red like here. I have seen some cool mushrooms again this year. you see nothing if you don't leave your house. the adventures change, but still capable of some adventures in this life. enjoy them while I can.

work. my last two weeks i was in ICU. i do find with my work-related anxiety, often i start to imagine symptoms of things that my patients suffer from. it's been a busy few weeks. try to catch up on education stuff as well. there is one 90-minute video that i've avoided. it's overdue. woke early to get my schedule in. 

constantly on the fence about when to retire. earlier if health care was not a factor. we shall see.

i'll go do yard work after i finish this and then what? where to walk. it's nice outside today. 

lots of play time with the mom and kitten. these days will go fast. great to have these cute kittens. will be nice to send them back and clear out the room again. kittens can be a mess. 

i'm sure another litter will turn up shortly. 

it's almost time for the pumpkin massacre. october 26 if anyone wants to join that reads this. does anyone read this? it's more personal therapy, i guess. I've done my own therapy over the years. probably took much longer and caused more personal angst and pain. i suspect there are more therapists now that understand religious trauma and deconstruction than there were when i would have needed it. 

our country is screwed. sadly, i suspect it will be more and more violent before it improves. the idiot taco at the top continues to serve himself and use the office to enrich himself and his friends and go after his enemies. this is not a productive way to run a country but this is where we are. lives will continue to be lost. it's gonna take something pretty horrific to wake up enough of his cult followers. this death just enraged them further and prepared them mentally to be able to snuff out people on the left guilt-free. i had one person comment to me that i wasn't human. that is what is required. dehumanize as many as possible so their loss isn't a loss at all but justified. they have already accomplished that goal with the undocumented and the trans. 

at my age and skill level leaving the country is not a likely scenario. It would be nice in many ways. i'll just have to live through what hell gets us to the next place. i believe, in the end, the pendulum will swing to a far more positive and progressive place. Will I survive? will the country survive intact or be split up? I have no crystal ball for that.

hate tends to need to explode before it implodes. the hate is in Christianity. so many claim to be patriots who love this country, but so many of us are struggling to understand what they actually love about this country since they seem to hate so much of it. they love being able to call themselves Christians and so the so-called chosen ones. They love having guns and they love owning the libs. beyond that? who knows. 

we were taught in grade school that this nation was a melting pot and i have always loved that. not everyone is on board, even when they are part of the melting pot. they want to hand-select who they include in that melting pot and who doesn't belong. 

nature and the animals couldn't care less about any of the politics. they just try to adapt to whatever Mother Nature or humans toss their way. 

woke early to do my schedule. Finally getting a blog post in. took forever to catch up on the photos. shouldn't let it go so long.. Winter is coming and life slows down. 

i love all the seasons. you just adapt to that as well.  winter causes a slowdown with the darkness and the quiet. the snow just covers the world with a forced peace and silence. 

off to get stuff done. 

thankful for A. safe trips and beautiful sights. B. that i'm still plugging along. C.  the fall colors and the mushrooms that i find. the drama of this place always amazes me.