you try to live a peaceful existence then the shit happens

 

it's been a bit of a shitty month in a few ways. at work really. overall, i have been freezing hearts and putting them out.  got a positive post in the fat tire bike group on that. i've had 5 kittens to fatten up. i've called them the Big Bang Gang. so cute. they came to me at 5 weeks. no mom this time.

you put positive out and then life slams you.  a few incidents.  first trying to get report from ICU in the IMCU.  the ICU nurse had not gotten the bp under control and was unable to give me parameters or a way to get to those parameters. somehow this frustrated her more than me. i was deemed to be difficult. i'm sure i was growing impatient with the answers i was getting. exasperated she finally said, so are you saying you won't accept this patient. not how it was. they got an order for a cardene gtt that she had repeatedly said the docs had refused to order and sent the patient out.

i was also sent to work in the ICU this last stretch despite requesting that to be over. wasn't happy, especially since they gave me sicker patients. the charge, resource and the nurses around me were very helpful so i really did appreciate that. i can still do the work, good to know. it did remind me that i don't want to anymore. i sent a note to someone in my management team so we shall see if that happens again. 

then the other night peat shredded me for ordering an ekg. the patient had chest pain and they were working on a critical patient. figured i could handle this. assessed patient, got vitals, ordered the ekg and then came out to contact the nurse practitioner. the charge had called peat a second time and they overheard that i had ordered the ekg and were not happy i guess. i mean,they could have just d/c'd the order?  i had time to page the np a few times and the ekg got done before peat showed up. they went pretty ballistic on me about this ekg and i had to finally say something like maybe we should focus on the patient and you can yell at me later. 

all was fine. i wrote a bland note but then saw that the peat nurse had written a petty and attempted disparaging note about the ekg  i had ordered. i amended my note. she neglected to mention the first call to peat (before  i even was made aware my patient had cp). because of her petty note i had to cover myself. so that was shocking to me, that anyone would get so bent over a non-invasive ekg.

maybe this is part of transitioning out of icu.  we always have peat and practitioners around so i will just page the practitioner before ordering anything in the future. when i first started the ekg machines were just on the floor in many places and you just ran one. the computers keep track of stuff more tightly. some things were better before. concerning that floor nurses at the level of pcu are deemed incapable of dealing with a basic cp issue.

not good to piss off such a petty and vindictive nurse in peat.  i'm not the only one who has found her to be a bit much i guess.  i ran into one of the icu docs on the trails.  we talked.  he thought it was ridiculous as well for her to get so angry over this. they could have just seen patient then pulled me aside and told me i'm not allowed to order an ekg on the floor.  it's better i guess for cares to be delayed.  welcome to modern medicine.

so 3 incidents in a month. hopefully, that bad stretch is behind me. 

my life overall is happily dull.  i sleep.  do errands, read, play with pups,cats and kittens and make ice hearts. 

it's nice to just accept my place as a villian in this life. the people who accept me for who i am are there and the animals. the rest, fuck em. 

i live in a beautiful place and i love each adventure i take. these photo's are a testament to the beauty that i have been lucky enough to enjoy all these years. 

i love the winter as well. the beauty and the peace of it. the early sunsets, the late sunrises.  

none of these sweet kittens made it. it has been rewarding doing this work for the shelter. many are just born too small and getting them to survive is a challenge. i also do not have an incubator, i don't gavage feed them. there is a bit more of survival mode at my place i guess. bottle and gavage feeds are not without some risk as well. 

i've sat at the doorway a few times of the kitten room with the dogs. they love to interact with the kittens.  let the kittens come to them. this group has been healthy so it was nice after a few rough litters to have that. the smallest is just shy of 1.5 pounds. 

they are good to return to the shelter to find homes tomorrow. always a tough day. i'll try and drop them just as the shelter opens so i can get the dogs out for MOnday walk and heart drop. the temps warmed a bit but are now back down again. 

the hearts i left at the dog park were gone but the n. bivy ones seemed to have survived. above is Ivy with a box of tennis balls from my friends. they get them used. they are perfect!!

these are from a trip to Valdez

from June.  lots of wildflowers popping out in June.

i'm still bitter about the incidents at work. wish my brain was better at letting go of that stuff. that nurse probably wrote her nasty note and then moved on. bottom line, what a bitch. 

the maga following is mostly bots from other nations.  not shocking really. the numbers of his most cult following are not nearly as large as they appear. most that voted for him, just don't pay attention to what is actually happening. that in no way means they are not to be held accountable, at least in my mind. ignorance may be bliss but it's not freedom from responsibility.  

the bull continues. they are doing a great job tearing the nation to bits.  the gop have not been able to really govern for years. they are all about fear politics and corporations, greed and money.  everything they accuse the left of they are doing themselves.  

a group of tourists enjoy the glacier while i play with the dogs at Matanuska

i often stop there on the way to Valdez. it's a nice break. 

trying to remember where this campfire was.  hmm.

this is powerline pass hike

views of downtown Anchorage.

this looks like Reflection Lake

back in Valdez. reading and chilling

Biscuits came to me ill. that probably didn't help her babies. she did recover and found a new home.  i really hope things are going well for all of them.

this is Byron

the babies are so tiny when they arrive

just started a book in the kitten room. they had knocked it off the shelf so i started reading while the kittens climbed around on me. cleaning and napping. it really is great mental health therapy.  i go in there after work and just escape in a room filled with purring and cuteness.

my cats aren't that excited. Covi Cat had a little adventure into a neighbors home. the home is in the neighborhood behind my house. a lady has a cat door and he went in. i think the cats scuffled. his collar came off. not sure if that was during the scuffle or while the lady was trying to get the information. she called and i went over after 8 pm to collect a scared Covid Cat.  

later i thought about the fact i'd gone to complete strangers house to collect my cat from an upstairs bedroom...it could have ended in murder. luckily, it was really just a cat collection and i guess i have a new friend. 

University Lake below. above was Cheney Lake.

back to the road towards Valdez

low bush fireweed

and cute puppies of course

will do more kitten time, reading and head to bed.  these dark days always make me want to sleep more

thankful for A. the short time i have left in this work. may be shorter if these negative incidents keep happening. B. the beauty of each and every season here. the days now are cold and foggy and i love it. the hoar frost is beautiful.  C. each kitten and litter for the peace and therapy they bring