nearly a month and the hell continues

 

These are a mixture from late summer/fall. a trip to Glacier Bay/Gustavus. rain forest. forest covered in green. 

a beautiful new clan house. 

mushrooms,of course. That is fall. i enjoy all of it. angers me that the idiots in charge of our nation have now started a global war. We were all raised with sympathy for Israel. Sadly, their leadership has opted to take advantage of the decades of sympathy/empathy and instead have gathered money and support from leadership in this country and others, I suppose. Most of those in our Congress have taken money from them and now seem to be beholden to them. They finally found an idiot willing to charge into Iran. Their first acts were to kill the person in power in Iran (apparently no loss), but they also bombed a girls school. Over 150 young girls and teachers are dead. We are the terrorists, it turns out. 

The idiots in charge are, in many cases, Christian Nationalists.  They are attempting to usher in a holy war, to, I guess, convince Jesus to return. It's been over 2000 years, and still no return. ridiculousness, really, but here we are. They had a meeting with the military, where they claimed the pedophile at the top was anointed by God. Wish people would wake up to the absurdity of it all. Again, here we are, though. 

saw a comedian on TikTok. he was joking that if Jesus had returned, he's already locked up in a psych ward. That is a common psych issue, people claiming to be God or Jesus or some other religious figure. We had a patient the other week screaming that she was God. It's very common. In truth, any God I read about in the scriptures would not respond well to all these fools thinking they are going to get lifted to heaven to sit and watch people like me suffer and burn up. like some sort of entertainment. Quite frankly, that desire would, itself, be disqualifying for entry to heaven, I think. 

I keep doing my life and trying to distance myself from the hell of the news. a balance of staying somewhat informed without making anxiety soar. longer days and a nice snow pack have made for great walking these past weeks. ice hearts start to melt a bit in the long days, so I think those are done.

I enjoyed some of the Fur Rondy events. hit the native craft fair, the snow sculptures, and watched some of the dog sled sprint races. 

This past weekend I got up to see the ceremonial start of the Iditarod in town.  It was a heavy snow, but always magical. The winner is not in Nome yet. usually around next Tuesday. The same guy is in the lead as last year at the moment. His name is Jessie Holmes. He's on a reality TV show, I think. Close behind is Paige Drobny. i really hope she catches him.  we are long overdue for a woman to win.

3 women in top ten at the moment.

Some of these are walks around Anchorage, and others are from Gustavus.

The Iditarod added a wealthy white guy class, called the Expedition class. They pay a bunch of money to run the Iditarod non-competitively. They are not allowed to win the race and travel with a guide, a vet and crew. They are clamping and are fed, all on their dime. They can trade out dogs for fresh legs. They have their own planes out there. I was confused when I saw Jeff King at the Ceremonial start with a team. He's a guide, though.  They are taking their time. more like a party event, it seems it was when it started. That would be the way to do the thing for a wimp like me. More have climbed Everest than run the Iditarod, so, of course, it is a thing to do. They get a finisher's belt buckle. can't interfere with the actual race. Their cash flow increased the payout for the winner, and I believe, decreased the entry fee. One gave hundreds of thousands. So good for the overall run to Nome. They have lost sponsorship, and PETA has been on a mission.

The back of the pack has one of my favorites this year. I believe Jody Potts-Joseph is the first native female to run the Iditarod. She lives in Eagle, outside of Chicken. has 5 kids i think. Her one daughter rode the back sled going through Anchorage. She is a model, beautiful woman. The dogs were all decked out in handmade native coats. quite the sight.

I suppose I could have put Iditarod pictures in here. Sorry. 

Work continues. Hard to really think about retirement when the pedophile and pedophile protectors start wars. haven't looked at the retirement account. It will be depressing to watch all my money slip away. all because of this idiot and the absolute fools who triple trumped. 

I am managing my 2 shifts a week better. I believe they are trying to not put me in ICU/CSU. I have been getting my hours. peds, pcu, picu, holds ER and straight ER. Also, a few sitter gigs in there. Nobody ever gave me a minimum number of units I had to have listed. Nobody ever offered to cross-train me anywhere new. So for the moment, I'm just putting my head down and seeing how long I last and how long they last with me working less units.

For sure, the stress levels are down, not going to those more critical units. I walk away knowing I'm still capable but just done with it. Continue to peek to see if there is another job out there. Currently, I have a lot of control over my schedule and work the 2 shifts/week. Not sure I would get that anywhere else. Better the hell I know. I do not think I will last here until I turn 65. I do know I could figure it out if needed. I could book, take retirement. 

dinner/coffee/walks with friends over the past month. Also, a few hockey games. always fun. Our annual trip to Manitoba yurts was a bit of a bust. The road conditions were very questionable. ended up too stressful for me to risk it. we do have our Tonsina trip at the end of April. I'll have to look at a water taxi for us. I also booked a hotel for Homer in April for a low tide. 

I'm up for Jury duty at the end of March. Oh boy! My number is 10 so I suspect I will be called up. 

No new litters of kittens yet.  It's been a bit. Part of me fears I'm getting a reputation for being a kitten killer, and they don't want to risk kittens on me. Of course, we are always harder on ourselves than others are on us. I do want to try to make a little tip sheet for potential kitten fosters. My sweet friend N, mentioned that I wasn't given the tools, and I did the best I could. Better to see if I can give some tools to the future fosters. It would have been helpful. 

It is a strange balance.  Some people have kitten incubators, tube feed and give SQ fluids. I'm not sure how much is really expected of the average foster. My guess is that the Shelter is just grateful to have any foster that is willing to try their best. 

I do add equipment and skills. Just thought a list of basics may help the next fosters have a better chance of not suffering from the losses I have. I need to remind myself to focus on all the successes I've had. Kittens that are now in homes. have been reading a book written by a person who basically does this professionally at this point. She is currently, tube feeding a kitten with a cleft palate and did a lot of extra work on a hairless kitten that happened in a litter. that kitten eventually was euthanized over making it suffer more.

As a vet friend says, there isn't a shortage of kittens. I tend to believe it may be best to focus on kittens with the best chance of survival. people do love an underdog (or underkitten?). 

these are back in Gustavus.  I was excited to see the mushrooms. I wasn't as crazy about them when I lived in Southeast. silly me. 

bills paid for the month. For sure, money is tighter only working 2 shifts/week. Mentally, it was needed.

Little Abbyloni. She was the sole survivor in this litter. was able to get her and her mom to the shelter to find new homes. The mom was pretty anxious. Sometimes I feel like helping these Moms is the bigger deal. The mom was matted and hissed at me a bit.  takes extra care to help them see humans as possibilities. Care and lots of treats. 

Such a cutie.  I had two older litters without Moms to fatten up after this group. The tuxedo litter (or big bang) and then a litter around the holidays. suffered my worst loss on that one. I should have pushed harder sooner. lost sweet Poppers. 

Mentally, I think it was healthy that I could cry over these losses. Working in healthcare for decades, you tend to hold in that pain, and eventually it's internalized. You don't always deal with the losses. You just move on to the next thing. Years of this have probably negatively impacted me. 

So, being able to actually cry over these kitten losses was healthy. 

Missed the window on doing the Portage Lake walk. It was frozen, but not a walk to do alone. It was still frozen when I was out there the other week. big chunks of ice on the edges. uneven. suspect there was thin ice in bits. windy as well. Not worth the risk, though I did see a few folks out there.

This year was the longest I've seen that lake frozen.

Reading, playing games on my phone, I always find ways to stay entertained. My to-do list is always present. I get a few things checked off, but there is always more. Working less means fewer projects get completed. 

knowing our incompetent leaders may get us all killed any day means those projects feel less important. I live within 5 miles of a military base. They fire off a nuke, I'm zapped. Thank you, pedophile supporters.

Our paddle in Gustavus. always nice to be on the water. The only part that sucks is how much time you waste getting instructions.  For others, it's often their first paddle, though. I tend to just play dumb. If I'm asked directly, I will say how much experience I have. 

There were some cool mushrooms out there. Still would like to hit Chicken for fall, maybe Eagle. never been there. I'd also like to get to Yakutat. I have pondered many times a move to Canada. If I were younger, I would pull that trigger for sure.

I'm reminded of Chornobyl. There was a group of older women who refused to leave the area. They stayed and lived peacefully for decades. 

If you survive the blast, maybe you just live it out. 

This is the Fairweather range. only seen in fair weather, thus the name.

trails around the lodge

And trails back in Anchorage.

Another place I want to go is Yakutat. may just toss in a short trek there. I've only landed there on the way to other places.

We had perfect weather for a paddle that day. We just stayed in this bay.

Overall, the trip went well. I am grateful for my adventurous life. So many wait until they retire to do the fun stuff. i feel like i have been able to enjoy adventures throughout my life. 

Sadly, the worst people rise. Being power hungry and greedy can lead to some success. I doubt all that much happiness. added stresses. Having access to all that money is not always the blessing people believe it to be. It comes with added responsibilities. When you can just get what you want, i think some get bored. i mean, normal sex isn't enough, normal adventures not enough. They lose the ability to stop and smell the roses.  Paranoia kicks in. You can't always trust those around you.  They just want to get what they can from you. Most humans just would be happy with the basics, to not have debt weighing them down, to have a safe home, food. if you have loads of money, you better hope you have friends or family or both  who can keep you grounded and humble.

Suspect it just becomes competitive. so much access just causes it's own insanity. It's never enough. 

I've had more than many out there, fewer than many out there. Some of the happiest people out there are living simple lives. I've always believed we, as humans, haven't fully adapted to the new world we have created for ourselves. We were meant to spend the bulk of our time and energy seeking shelter, warmth, food, and water. Being without those tasks means we have to be in our heads more. We don't always do well when we free up our brains. Those who can't cope with the antics of a bored brain create havoc and chaos and wars. some cope by sharing their wealth. others prove they can't cope by destroying others lives in some hope of finding theirs.

grateful for A. winter, it really can be my favorite time of year. the peace, the silence. B. the balance in my life. C. though i often want more money, i'm happy i didn't have to live with some obscene amount of money. just seems way more stressful than it's worth.