dreaming...

 woke up after having a dream this morning.  my dreams are generally pretty odd.  these are my cute pups on a Birthday trek to the beach at Oceanview Bluff Park.  it was a few days after their Birthday but i put ribbons on and tried to get some fun shots...loved these with the ice cairns....i did some art on the beach...this was my best i think, with the cute heart on top.

 in my dream Ivy Rose jumped out of a boat.  we then went hunting for her.  my friend and kayak trip adventure buddy, SJ, was the boat captain.  it was a large kayak/boat.  in the dream i was screaming her name over and over...was i really screaming it out loud or was it in my head...or was i just heard by the dogs in real time muttering and mumbling totally nonsensical gibberish?  I'll never know. 

 both dogs were on the bed when i did wake up. 

 the boat search found us on the side of a mountain...still in the boat and still in water oddly.  eventually, we gave up the search and i was in a house with a boardwalk on the waters edge.  suddenly, i saw my little Ivy Rose in the distance, still swimming away.  i went out on the boardwalk and called and called for her again.  she came over and i pulled her out of the water. 

 the dream turned odd as i was then found to be pulling off her rain boots and a toddler/Ivy Rose fell fast asleep in my arms, exhausted.  no Tusker in this dream. 

 i used to have dreams about Blossom, in all of them she was on the verge of death and then I'd wake up in a panic. 

 i made several cairns on this day. the snow was perfect for it.  i just kick and stomp around to get the right sizes, then stack them up. 

 just had to keep the pups from throwing them down.

 i am not in Homer...the forecast looked to call for snow down there, while here it called for sunshine.  we had a pretty simple day. lots of errands. 

 dog food, dog poop, there is more free stuff in the front yard, we shall see.  always interesting what items get taken sooner than others.  i was in the shed and some things just screamed get rid of me.  typical i guess, we all have too much stuff.  it feels good to just rid myself of a little something every so often.  need a major purge though.  the kitchen will get that. 

 was also working on Skelly.  April will be "raining cats and dogs" theme.  had originally thought I'd dangle various cats and dogs from the roof over the deck...but it's pretty high up there so i quickly opted out of that idea. do need to create some rain gear for his skeleton friends tomorrow. 

 no bear sightings except that i did head out to the Wildlife Conservation Center and the black bears were roaming about.  must have been up for a few days as they had tossed some dog food in there. i think they wait about 5 days to do that.  bears are showing up all over the Anchorage bowl though.  word spreads fast.

 they do look awful adorable in their birthday ribbons.

 totally forgot to watch the Stormy interview...haha.  I'll wait for the exciting news coverage later.  for how much crap Clinton got for being a sleaze by the GOP, Trump gets silence from them despite all his shenanigans.  they certainly trashed him and his wife for staying by his side. again crickets for why Melania stays there.  I've always said, love, relationships.  not always based on common sense or sense at all.  people do unpredictable things when it comes to love and relationships.  it's not really about money or power or education or even love...

 for people like Hillary and Melania all this drama seems to come at a cost to them, but the reality is in both cases it also probably comes with power in the relationship.  once you are shown to  be a total idiot in public, the innocent partner now holds the power in the relationship i suspect.  those two probably waited years for this power swap. people stay when those on the outside think they never would or should. you just never really know in any relationship what drives it.  would have thought the Clintons would have split years ago, but they are still together.  there may just be some mutual friendship/respect there after all.  people stick it out and usually people applaud them for not giving up...never was the case with Hillary and Bill.  they were trashed no matter what they did. 

 don't see myself putting up with the stuff many folks put up with in partners..but then perhaps that is one of the reasons i never married.  i have a low bull shit tolerance.  there is just stuff i wouldn't put up with though i see others put up with it.  at some point i realized perhaps I'm just not as committed to commitment as others.  if you are found to be a drunk, a drug addict, beat me or abuse me you are gone or i am gone.  if you want to be with someone else over me...go, i will not beg anyone to stay true to me that has already proven they have no desire to. I'd even say, if you gain weight to the point of being super sized...i just really don't think i could do it.  cancer, trauma, i can deal with that, but eating yourself to over 500 pounds.  i don't think I'd deal with that for the long haul...oh and let me add, if you are found to be a rapist or child molester, your arse can rot in jail.

 these things rarely end up really being about sex...with Clinton it was the lies...iitoo lies all the time so this is an easy trap for Mueller or anyone else to catch him on...it's no doubt why his lawyers will do anything to keep him from talking to Mueller.  he will totally screw himself.  i would say he is no doubt a habitual liar, i don't think he is even aware of it at this point.  he's done it for decades.

 Mercers and Bannon all over the Cambridge Analytica scam. it collected data basically to brain wash folks...does "drain the swamp" and "deep state" mean anything to you?  some of their favorite brainwashing headlines.

 not sure how much longer this beach will be accessible.  it turns to marsh soon.  we are fast approaching melt down. 

 thinking of the March for Life and all the youth that took part in it.  only youth were speakers, which is pretty impressive.  takes courage to speak in front of large crowds and those were some pretty large crowds in some places. 

 i remember speaking to just the legislative members at a meeting one time. i was scared, but in the end, i had to remember it wasn't about me or my fear, it was about the walrus and Round Island and funding.  i had to put my personal fears aside to achieve the goals i was hoping to achieve.  that is what it means to have passion about something. 

 people complain that they are young and don't know anything.  they are capable of many things, forget the age, the number.  look at what kids across the globe do at young ages...they have to.  our kids for the most part do have a more pampered existence which may make one feel they aren't capable of more.  i wish they would reverse the rules that make it difficult for kids in high school and jr high to hold down part time jobs.  i wish we would give our youth more opportunity to be independent.  to fail, to succeed.  even if we don't though, it's good to see that they are taking those chances anyway. 

 love that these kids in Florida, who are from a more higher standard education level/opportunity, did not just speak out for themselves and their situation. they seem to have included kids from all social and economic area's.  they reached out to them.  these kids do know how to work social media and work it they did.  they are using what they know to try to find solutions for more than just themselves and more than just these specific school shootings. 

 the beach in winter looks stark, but peaceful. 

 need only look to Vietnam, Civil Rights, Womens rights...these all had a great deal of young leaders involved.  i marched in DC for Aids.  that movement saw many who were young who were spurned into action.  can we get them to vote?  can we keep them involved as they get older?  that is always the hope.  if so, the picture could be much different in 20-30 years...it's already much more different than when i was young. things take steps backward...like is happening now. 

 there are always those who fight against change, who fear change.  who fear what change means for them, though generally it means little for them really.  it means equality for others, fairness.  Fairness isn't comfortable though.  the concept scares the hell out of some.  usually, in our society anyway, the ones who have the most to lose from others gaining power and fairness are white males.  mostly they are not really aware of the perks they have had. 

 being right, being seen as right, not being questioned....that has been their greatest perk of all.  they just got their way for the most part...that is changing and many do not like it.  they do not wish to be told they are wrong about anything.   society was more likely to look the other way if you did wrong if you were a white male.  if you committed a crime you were more likely to get a deal of get off completely or just get a lesser sentence if you were a white male. 

 before women got more rights, their spouses controlled the finances.  women had a rough road trying to prove they deserved a divorce even in some pretty horrible circumstances.  it wasn't really that long ago that men still had control over the finances in a family and a woman had to ask permission.  a friend recently was purchasing a dishwasher and the guy at the store suggested she get her husband to do the measurements...she doesn't have one.  we apparently still can not be trusted to utilize a tape measure.

 blacks, gays...all recent history wise.  I'm not saying all white guys are jerks.  they aren't.  i just think many remain unaware of the perks they get on a day to day basis.  i have many perks over many in society. i was born white, i was born in a stable household.  i was given a good education, even after high school i had support in getting my education.  maybe not direct payment of tuition but i knew i would never be homeless or hungry.

 having an understanding of what you have been given for me makes it easier to want to make sure others have help getting even a smidgen of what i had.  I'm of the belief that our nation becomes greater when we raise everyone up.  when we make sure they feel safe.  when we give them an opportunity to succeed.  our nation has spent far too much time making people feel inferior.  we need to make sure people have that chance to succeed.  we seem to forget that we need people doing jobs of all levels of education and that we need to make sure that those with the skills and desires to do blue collar jobs can do so and feel proud and make enough money to support their families.

 we need to make sure their children have the chance to learn and grow and do what they desire.  if you live in a poor community you should not therefore receive a poor education. 

 as i take care of patients who suffer from treatable diseases but do not have access to care or fear the payment for that care will leave them bankrupt.  i had a patient the other day in tears, he was young and literally was saying there was no point living since being hospitalized would leave him penniless.  his life was over in his mind.  in our nation it does leave people penniless.  it's not right, it's not fair.  they live in this nation, this nation with all it's wealth and opportunity and yet, they can't even heal in peace because they have seen others lose all they worked for over and over because they got sick.

 our mental health population is treated like crap.  a large percentage of them are homeless.  up here that is no easy life.  entitlements?  we are all entitled to care with dignity.  all for one and one for all....

 Skelly before transformation.  the rest of these are iphone shots.

 above are baleen baskets...amazing, and spendy.  these cost from $400-$500 each.  not easy to make these baskets.  they are beautiful. 

 below the artist had put out Ivory at various stages of carving.

 various furs. these are all at the Native Craft Fair during Fur Rondy.

 below is baleen cut up and scrimshawed.  baleen whales are filter feeders and the baleen is lined up in their mouths and used to filter for food. on the ends of some you can see filaments...those are what do the actual filtering.

 a display table.

 same day as the other pics, but we had hit the dog park first.  the puppies do love the dog park. it's still safe place right now.  the lake is still frozen and walkable. 

 I'll stay away for a bit once the lake gets dicey. don't want to risk them falling in.

 bench time...they loved benches when they were young and still seem to enjoy bench time.

 pretty cool boots. forgot to ask price.  didn't see them later though.

 enjoying my flowers...pretty rare that i get flowers at this point.  hell my phone rarely rings.  i think it would bum my Mom out how little her kids keep in touch with each other.  there are a few that i hear from regularly, but others, it's been ages.  i think she had hoped we would all be super tight.  i see that in other families and it would be cool.  every family is different though.  life takes you different directions. 

 i tried for a long time, but eventually, you get tired of being the one putting in the bulk of the effort or in having it bite you.  when every conversation seems to turn into an argument it just gets too exhausting for everyone.  when you just paid airfare to then spend the time arguing...well, now you look at it all more practical...do i really want to spend nearly a $1000 bucks to be informed that how i think is wrong and stupid?  flying is stressful enough without fearing the looming debate that always seems to follow it.

 the politics of the day have made things even worse. the nation and families are more divided than ever. i am grateful to those who  contact me despite our different opinions.  at least they seem to respect that there are other ways to see things, that there is a possibility that one or both of us is right and/or wrong on various issues and facts.  i can't say that for all though.

 sometimes i wonder if it's because I'm still and always will be the "baby" of the family...when you are in that position it seems you are often seen as forever young so your opinion is seen as that of some child not fully developed.  i recall one ranting brother screaming about how some of nieces and nephews had voted and that when they got older they would regret that or turn conservative? i pointed out these "kids" were now in their 30's...quite capable of intelligent thoughts on their own.

 our snow days are going to be winding down soon. 

 these guys wind down each day only to be ready to run the next day.  tomorrow is Monday walk..they will get their work out in.

 what a silly girl...or toddler when i dream.

thankful for: A.  sunny days and warmer weather, change is always great B.  bear free hikes...but welcome back...i suspect the Moose are less than thrilled to see the big beasts awakening as well C.  these last weeks of mosquito free life...:-)