one more sleep til Christmas Eve...

 i frequently wake all smashed between two pups and a cat...above is one of my new favorite photo's.  I'll need to get it blown up for sure.  :-)  that is my family photo.

 this morning Miss Breeze Chatterbug was smartly sleeping right on the heater vent. 

 the pups have been wearing their scarves all week...they just look so cute in them...so says I anyway.  very abercrombie and fitch, dog model like.

 just finished 3 nights of work, then i just have today off and return for the one night of Christmas Eve.  this weeks gig was IMCU, ER and then ICU.  i was able to catch up with my manager.  clear up the ER stuff a bit.  i got all the online education stuff taken care of so that is all caught up.  it all starts again next month though but at least I'm caught up for the moment.

 only one other ER float on nights, I'm it for the ICU and the PICU if they need help though. place usually empties out as much as it can for holidays.  most folks will avoid the place until after the holidays...that often means that many will come in much sicker as they have put off being seen to not miss out on anything.

 i have no plans for Christmas Day.  i generally have at least one pity party during this season...it is not easy to be a singleton this time of year.  you really do get left behind or out of a lot...i lack some of the social skills, at least i figure as much, as i don't get invites for any Christmas dinners. i think my lack of invites then makes me think of my Mom and miss her.  in her days she would seek out those singles or misfit folks and make sure they knew they were welcome at our home. 

 she was never the best housekeeper but our home welcomed all and made them feel welcome and wanted..that was my mom.  so i think then i miss her more because i know i would have always been welcome in a home like hers, but i guess those homes are less or i just don't get picked for the party list....you'd think I'd be used to it...also i know it is my own fault in many ways.  I'm pretty good at isolating myself when i want to. you can't live your life as a bit of recluse and then expect others to pull you out of your hermit house.

 still it is always tough to be the perpetual inviter who then rarely gets invited back. my family is busy with their own lives as well and so most holidays it seems to end up that if i want to hear from them, it's on me.  that can be tough.  some times it would just be nice if they thought, we have a sister who lives alone, we should reach out to her over the holidays and make sure she isn't lonely.

 so today was my pity party i guess.  tomorrow I'll be busy at work and Christmas Day I'll be sleeping and then I'll walk the dogs...if i treat these days like regular old days it's no big deal...i do have a friend having a boxing day party on the 26th so that will be fun.

 who could be sad for long with these adorable puppies to keep me company.

 i think it's just can be a rough time of year for many...it's expectations. it's all around us.  everywhere you turn is this expectation that you will be surrounded by loved ones, exchanging food and gifts.

 had some fun walks last week and a few great sledding days as well. 

 joined friends out at Oceanview Bluff Park the other day.  first i took the pups for a walk down towards the beach.  it is a bit punchy still out there. you would think it would be all frozen up. 

 i walked careful and we didn't go far out.  then we met friends for sledding. 

 not having a kitchen is a bit tough as well.  part of the holidays is cooking.  comfort foods from when i was young.  foods my mom taught me to cook. even when you eat at others, for me, i still want to cook a few meals the way my mom taught me.  no kitchen means i can't do that either.

 I'm on counter wait and watch.  i got an email that it was to be shipped on the 20th, then they will check it at the shop here and make arrangements to install. getting so excited to be able to organize life and clean up.

 hoping to stop and get a few more supplies so i can get those 2 doors done this week...keep myself busy to avoid self induced pity parties.

 another morning Tusker shot...these two really do take up a lot of the bed...i need a larger bed and a larger couch!!

 a sad case last night in the ICU.  unexpected stuff happens.  our lives are fleeting.  i shouldn't waste any of mine feeling sorry for myself.  most of the time i don't...damn this season and how it makes not just me feel but many I'm sure.  failures for not having families to be surrounded by and cook for.

 as if day to day life isn't pretty good at making us all feel inadequate, then there are the holidays. still i do like the overall positive spirit that is out there.  people being nice to each other more than other days.

 love this picture above as well. so great to have sibling puppies...they really do keep each other company.

 the art in the back yard is great at a pick me up.

 that was the plan...adds some light to the dark winter days.

 i had weeded through the dog toys so i took a bag of toys and just tossed them out at the dog park the other day to share with other dogs.  of course, today i took the dogs to PetSmart...love to wrap up gifts for them to open on Christmas...they are adorable at opening gifts...silly i know, probably pathetic, but still entertaining. 

 my friends coming back up the hill after a run...this is a great hill, love the awesome sunsets as you sled.

 dogs in scarves on different trails. i looked it up and you can write either scarves or scarfs. both are acceptable...see what i have learned. 

 the last adult they say, is leaving the administration.  Lord help us.  counting the days until the Dems at least have some return of power...is it too late? 

 the iitoo was proud to take responsibility of shutting down the government the other day and now is trying to blame others.  all for this ridiculous wall.  there are so many other things we could do, modern things that would help secure our border.  the wall is such a joke, but he drilled it into his followers heads that this is all that can save them and protect our borders.  his campaign of fear has been greatly successful.  he also makes decisions based on what the radio/conservative media are telling him via their shows.  he doesn't bother with people who have access to actual facts, he listens to the propaganda machine on the right.

 the iitoo is openly taking direct orders from Putin and Erdogen it seems. he is by far the most spineless, sniveling POTUS in our nations history

 this was at the dog park today...man that seems like ages ago.

 Ivy was on the sled in the car.  i did force her onto one run with me...she's totally jumping on my as i go down the hills anyway, she may as well ride. i think she kind of enjoyed it...but i couldn't get her on there again.

 did i mention how naughty my dogs were at Petsmart today?  too many shoppers, excitement overload...then there was a cart with two big cats chilling as their people shopped. thankfully, they never saw those cats...we may have been banished from the pet store forever if they had.

 good thing they had on those scarves...adorable puppies are more difficult to get mad at!

 above is view out my bedroom for a sunset this week...super early...we are past solstice though so that is good.

 the days will now start to get a wee bit lighter

 below I'm attempting to get Ivy to take a ride down the hill with me.  it did not last long.  haha.

 headed back to check on the trees we decorated.  things looked to be in good shape.

 not too much activity  noted.

 i try to stop by and keep it clean so we don't leave string and stuff in the bog in the spring.

 this tree was decorated by friends...i saw their photos of it on facebook the other day.

 folks around here do enjoy decorating trees along trails...makes it more fun.  this is the part of Christmas season that i do enjoy. the lights, the decorations, the music. 

 just have to be better some days on focusing on the stuff that i love and can control than the things that make me sad that i can't control.

 more of todays stroll in the dog park.  i should have known Tusker was going to be a bit of a brat as he was a bit of one out on the trails as well.  not waiting when he was asked, doing a slower sit than even he usually does.  Ivy was lovely of course...except for her still jumping on me from time to time. 

 there are many buildings that have been deemed unfit to live in post quake, so there are several families that are in a bit of a position this season.  i need to be grateful that my place held solid.  most of this is just luck.  we've had a lot of quake activity post the big one, but the past week or so has been no big deal.  i was super anxious that first 24 hours I'd say, but it has eased up.  haven't really felt any for some time...occasionally i think i feel a shimmy.  we have had almost 5000, but most of those are pretty small.

 there was a volcano induced tsunami in Indonesia the other day.  the death toll on that will surely rise.  many still missing. no warning at all. no quake, just an actively erupting volcano.  they believe that an under water slide caused the tsunami.  a band was playing on a stage set up on the beach, tables with white linen...suddenly the stage surged up and forward.  a few band members died, another was missing.  I'm sure many who were attending were also either lost or injured as well.

i shall take my pity party day to bed and start anew tomorrow.  be kind, look for others who are lonely this time of year.  I'm grateful for: a. the furs i share my life with, i would no doubt have many more days of self pity and depression if it weren't for them b. friends and family who are there when days are dark and help brighten life up. c. comfy cozy bed when I'm super tired.