it started with a hunt for some small urns i'm sure i bought....

 

still haven't found them, but i did find other things to just toss in trash. i get in those modes on occasion. i need to get in those modes on more occasions. lots of crap has collected in this place and it really needs to be purged. so many things i end up just hanging on to. no reason really other than it takes time and energy to get rid of things. you just end up moving them from place to place and then you realize you have just moved junk around and now it sits. 

so among the things i ran across was my old bible.  it was with the original bible i got as a gift when i got baptized. the other one was a revised version i got in high school for seminary. can't recall exactly but the founder, smith, found time to make corrections to the king james version? anyway...i just ripped that apart.  so it's in the trash. could have a burning ceremony but it felt good just shredding it and i kind of now feel making some bigger effort to burn it gives it more power than it needs. 

of course, that a got me thinking what else i still have from the old days.  i didn't see the book of mormon that came with the high school bible....i must have ditched that years ago.  i did run across the little typed version of my partriachal blessing.  spelling that wrong.  got it in Utah. maybe a part of me was testing the guy. he didn't know me.  it almost feels like some psychic message from the priesthood. in the end it was probably some template of a "prayer" and the guy probably just read it.  just tossed that in with the shredded bible and other remnants of my life as a mormon. 

it will always be there.  for some more than others i suppose. for some it's a major life crisis for others, they just left.  happy i left in my mid 20's before i was more indoctrinated in.  i have enough baggage from it from those first 25 years of life or so. 

so perhaps on this stretch off i can do more purging of crap.  go through some useless piles of paper. clear out a room or a closet. empty it out and start over and really think about what i will use again and what i should just give away or throw away or sell. how to get rid of the things that have some value but really that value is from another time.  old camera's, negatives...stuff you just cart around.  nobody will ever use and someone else will toss.  may as well be me tossing it. 

i think to as you get older you see the stuff you have differently.  i'm single with no kids so it's really just going to be garbage to whoever has to deal with my crap after i die. 

bath time.  my friend Q was up visiting his family and so i got to hang with him as well. always fun.  

i have really met some amazing people on this journey called life. 

the northern lights had a brilliant night the other night. we got a great view here in Anchorage even.  i enjoyed the show from my yard. i didn't get the big camera out, it was cold and i was just off my 3 nights of work. i think i did two in picu with an RCU in the middle.  this week it was picu and Cardiac unit again...i think so anyway.  decent nights all around. 

should have done some more of the education stuff. 

more and more i feel like a sucker for just staying at one hospital. some of us like the stability of that. i'm not big on the changes, but it would have been smarter financially i'm sure.  the new nurses coming up are going to demand better.  these hospitals are about to screw themselves over. they really should have treated their core staff members better.  more and more are leaving and making their own contracts, more willing to shift away. do various things...the bottom line. it will cost these hospitals more money than if they had done more to keep core staff around. 

the local hospitals are having to make bigger offers. people are flipping to better, more lucrative situations. others get sign on bonuses...i sit here like a fool really. more power to them. i've never been pissed at co-workers for taking advantage of the system. just irritated with the hospitals for being so cheap with labor and treating staff poorly. 

it seems to me that the teachers in this nation are getting the major shaft right now. so we have it better than teachers. they aren't trusted with words or curriculum but then people think they should be given guns to protect the students. recently a 6 year old shot his teacher...a 6 year old.  would that teacher have been applauded for shooting a 6 year old? should teachers be in a position of shooting 6 year old shooters. this nation is such a mess. it's all so f'd up

Q and i on the trails. 

sunny looks so strange all wet.

clearly not a fan of the bath. 

always working on his coat. 

gen aches all week. shoulders both sore.  is it arthritis and the changes in weather? who knows. easy to think the worst things possible at any ache when you work in medicine. you see lives changed suddenly and dramatically. so surely you start to think of all the ways you could be snuffed out. 

baby needles on a larch.  

a very small Iditarod planned for this year. most of the usuals won't be out there. not sure how long the race will go on. peta is big on destroying it. there are only 33 teams this year. 

i'm off so will head downtown and then to Willow the next day with friends. always a fun weekend. 

popped over to see the snow sculptures. this years were really good. many very detailed ones.  often there are a few really good ones but this year, there were loads of good ones.

would like to make it back up to Fairbanks for the ice sculptures.  those are pretty amazing.  

my beautiful boy Tusk in the fall leaves. 

Covid Cat will be thrilled when the snow is gone...that may not happen until almost fall again next year, haha. 

he's been asking for snacks a lot.  i think he's settling in and gaining that cat weight

i sold the banjo.  added it to the emergency fund.  always good to have some cash on hand.  it went as part of the purge last week. 

fall colors.  it's short but i chase it around to see all i can. 

every week/season is so different up here. 

we got so much snow this year i was digging out and not really making any snowmen. haha.  i am seeing that northern ca  is getting loads of snow. hope it helps a bit with drought issues they have had. 

it's a lot of people and there isn't enough water some times. water battles will become more contentious in the years to come.  right now the right is set on trying to erase anything that is "woke". they want to erase diversity. they want a one party religious ruled nation...it's okay if the christians do that, but not if the islamists do it. i dont want any of them doing it. 

they are the ones pushing their religious views on others. i've had a pretty protected life...that may change for these later years.  the world could get a bit rough in these years to come. 

almost time for bed. 

will try to walk the dogs tomorrow and then head to the dimond mall for the native craft gathering for fur rondy.  always interesting to see what is out there. 

shelf fungi

the happy fall/mushroom time of year. 

haven't been in ER for a bit. not sure if they took me off the rotation because of that class i'm missing.  nobody said anything.  

trying to ponder my next move.  could retire from here at age 60 and then do a contract for bonus money at another hospital.  take a job at cost co? take a job at an urgent care....there are options out there.

this one is a cup fungi

bear track in the mud.  

the dogs are happily sleeping. we have just hit the dog park the last few days.  Sunny was bouncing all over the place. so happy. Ivy just chased her tennis ball. we've done the big loop at north bivouac as well. the snow is nicely packed down.  easier to walk now with less post holing. 

a nephew went to hawaii with his wife.  their highlights so far are going to church there, going to the temple there and going to byu hawaii. to each their own. does feel strange. i know growing up my Mom never liked going to other wards on vacations.  she certainly wouldn't have considered doing temple sessions in other places. i really do not recall her going to the temple much.  she was more of a social mormon i thought.  never really that into the deeper spiritual stuff.  not a big prayer/scripture reader/testimony bearer. i actually am not sure if either of my parents got up to bear testimony on fast and testimony meeting. 

i know i never did and i'm really grateful they weren't the parents that would take their littles up there to the pulpit and spoon feed them the testimony to bear. so creepy. 

well, i better head off to bed.  the dogs are sleeping and will wake up bright and early and ready to rumble as it were. 

they do enjoy their walks. 

grateful for  a. out little family support group and chats b. another week of work safe and sound. c. the furs that keep me company