a tale of two Mays...

 

these are all from last years May and this years May. very different. 

generally, May is this secret happy month up here for locals. the tourists haven't really shown up and the place is ours. May is sunny, warm and growth is crazy.  with all the snow we had this last season it was a much slower melt. i just finally mowed the first time last week.

it was also a cooler/wetter May than usual. so the temps stayed down in the 40's-50's much of month. 

went to Seward for a day trek last week and the lupine were just barely getting a start. they were turning up on turnigan arm.  just all the flowers are a bit behind the normal. popping now i think though. 

i am on my stretch off. i had pondered what to do and in the end i did book a glamping tent at the KOA in Valdez.  just spares me the setting up.  supplies me with a cot and a little electric i guess for phone charging.  a bit more room as it's taller. i'll toss in the tent just in case. always good to be prepared for anything up here. a hotel just seemed too spendy and i have taken to enjoying the KOA there. a bit out of town and less local rabbits. 

the flowers along that drive can be super pretty. i think i'll skip the glacier and make other stops/walks out there. 

my work week wasn't bad. 2 nights Cardiac Surgery Unit, 2 nights in the Progressive Care Unit split and one night on call until 11pm when i got called in for a sitter gig. not bad.

the split is just tiring because you have to leave the unit and walk down a hall to get to two of your patients.  kind of strange. i had this miserable/crank patient the one night and luckily i missed out on him the next week in PCU.  that night his even more miserable/cranky family were there. all just nasty people. demanding and stupid. 

family was also a bit of a factor in the sitter gig. the son never even really spoke to his father from what i remember.  never did anything.  just treated me like his little hired hand so he didn't have to do anything.  if his dad squirmed, the guy just looked at me.  no attempt to calm his dad.  luckily his dad wasn't that bad.  many of us in the hospital are missing the old days when family wasn't allowed due to covid. the good old days...haha

walks with the dogs between shifts to the dog park. a few lazy days with no walks, one day with 2 walks...i came home feeling perky and remembered the days before i got a house with a yard and a dog door.  in those days i came home from work and took the dog for a leash walk. i think it's a good thing as it clears your head a bit before you head to bed and i suspect i have a more restful sleep. 

Ivy just wanted the old ways the next day with the tennis ball being tossed. she has her habits as well.

we've had all this rain but haven't really had any rainbows!

a Happy Solstice to all. we have passed our longest day and now we will soon start to lose about 5 minutes of light/day.  

need to do some more cleaning/purging as i have family coming.  always great getting visitors because it tends to inspire me to make turn the anti-guest room back into the guest room.  amazing how much clutter collects, especially when you don't have visitors coming. 

this is Eagle River Nature Center. i'd had a massage so i just cruised over there. always pretty...the brown bears seem to get pretty thick there. i guess spring is a great time to spot bears on the drive out there. i debated, but never made the drive out there. 

this is the dunes. not sure where i'm going today.  yesterday i ended up at powerline with a friend. thre were a few bikers who were packing in ski's so there is still enough snow out there for that.  the trail is clear to the bridge for sure though. as i said, flowers way behind but starting to pop

the world is a bit crazy right now....the hired mercenaries that putin has used to terrorize and torture the Ukrainians has gone rogue.  he's now turned on putin and is out of Ukraine and in russia. from reports putin has fled. of course, my joke is he is headed to mar a lago to request trumps help.  lol. the guy who runs the mercenary is a real beast as well so not an upgrade at all if he gets power. russia has nukes and they have also got the Ukraine nuke power plant seeded with bombs...it's all a bit sketchy and scary.  

so who knows what will happen over the next days/weeks.  will see what the Ukrainians do with this power gap and retreat.  

all eyes were on these rich people last week who had each paid 1/4 million to go in a home made sub to view the titanic. the thing apparently imploded. the search was on for several days...millions spent trying to save the ultra rich doing ultra rich things while in another part of the world a boat of like 700 desperate poor refugees perished at sea and seemingly nobody lifted a finger to try and help them.  just that stark contrast of life on this globe...how the wealthy are valued over the poor. 

the titanic is a grave site of the poor as the rich were prioritized on the life rafts over the poor. 

i really should be eating and i should feed the dogs...it's getting late.  where does the time go!

dogs fed, eating some cheese. still need to shower and all that. 

plus i will need to pack for trek to Valdez. just like to make sure i take advantage of summer, even if the weather isn't always perfect.

had thoughts about prayer the other day.  the shower can be very inspirational for me, haha. 

i have thought even as a teen how odd the whole prayer thing was. the answering of some prayers over others. that there is a God that would answer seemingly ridiculous prayers while ignoring life or death calls of prayer. 

this idea that if God answers your prayer you were somehow deserving more than others. then if God doesn't answer your bigger requests...well, life lessons, God works in mysterious ways...the gas lighting comments come out. how is it a God of this universe would respond to a request to find lost keys  but not to millions of Jews or Ukrainians, at this time, calling out for help. does God only answer if you are in the right church, right religion? why so haphazard in the response. 

i mean, if the thing you request happens it's some sort of miracle and if it doesn't happen either you weren't worthy, in the wrong religion or God had other plans? it's like God always has this get out of jail free card and then gets credit for anything good that happens. 

these are from last May by the way now

your worthiness was always a big one in the church i grew up in.  are you worthy enough for God to respond you your tiny requests but not to the larger ones? some times in life things just work out for you and sometimes they don't.  when they do, this habit of praising God as if nothing could possibly go right for you unless God or the church make it so.  when bad things happen despite the prayers, it's often viewed as the one who prayed who wasn't worthy enough. 

it was always this way in my mind with the church. anything good is because of the church and god, anything bad, well that was the fault of the individual. 

pretty screwed up really. 

this idea of miracles...really just confounds it all more.  i mean...the rarity of God actually answering a prayer is seen as such a long shot that when it does seem to happen it's called a miracle. what kind of a cruel god ignores nearly all pleas for help and just randomly responds?  

the god stuff makes less and less sense the more i know in life. just some idea that there is someone/something out there who can save you from the burdens, when the truth is there probably isn't.  also i think i always liked the idea that the evil in this world would some day be held to account, the actuality is that this probably never really happens.  perhaps karma.  that isn't always true though either. even hitler is rumored to have escaped to s. america to live out his life in relative peace. not sure if that really happened or if he did get killed in the bunker. bad people often get the pass because they are wealthy and well connected...there is zero proof that they get theirs in the next life...but it makes us feel a bit better to hope they do i guess.  that some burning in hell will happen...

of course, according to many of these religions that burning in hell thing can happen if you masturbate or do the smallest infraction.  so i will burn in hell along side hitler...same punishment for very different crimes??? 

i just always found this idea of a god that is all knowing and aware that i have had a coke or a glass of wine or coffee to be a concept beyond any reality. 

mostly i think, i hope that if there is a supreme being out there that i do hope that being is dealing with much bigger issues in our world than whether i drank a coffee. 

as i write that i laugh thinking this God is much like the modern GOP...focused on the smallest of issues while totally turning away from the real issues facing our society.  they are a mess at this point.  wasting tax dollars on trivial bull and accomplishing nothing that will actually improve our society/nation

i booked orca island and my niece booked a float in Coopers Landing.  both things have been on my to do list so happy about that. 

always love my sea star time.  they are just happy makers. 

no good low tides in Valdez and when we are in Homer the tide won't be good. it's gonna be good the week before but i have work. 

i did an every other night over the 4th of July so i'll be home with the dogs for the fireworks

Covid cat has been out and about.  coming in wet. he glanced towards one of the humane traps...hadn't checked it for a bit.  in the end there was a dead little shrew in there. oops.  guess that wasn't very humane of me.  at least i saw it before it started to degrade. 

last years lupine...

well, i better get this day moving along. 

more stars and then off i go. hopefully, i accomplish a few things today. 

grateful for A. long days B. chill days C. summers