one week out....

 

so far all seems to be going well with recovery. they had said the overall healing should be smooth, it will just be weight restrictions that will keep me off work. my job isn't normal and they require i be at 100% to work. no light duty for this old gal.  the universe must have believed i needed a break. i did apply for a desk job and didn't get it, part of that was knowing i'd have to be off longer if i wasn't on a desk job if i did get this surgery. things happen the way they should so here we are. 

i only took the day after surgery off from walking.  the walks are slow for sure. i've done mostly rather flat walks, slow. a bit sore out there but nothing that wasn't manageable. have taken half of one pill of stronger pain pill at night, but have just used tylenol/ibuprofen for the days. i'm a belly sleeper so i've been able to flop over the past several nights so that helps with sleep.

back to my baseline of walking alone mostly.  that is life as a single person. who wants to beg people to walk with you.  i either take the Element or i put Ivy one foot after another on door jam, then up to seat and then one slight lift with her helping these past few days. i think the dogs get that i'm not 100%. they are happy to be out walking though.  spoiled puppies. 

i've tried to add some other thing in so that i'm not just sitting around at home...which is not good for anyone's mental health, especially mine.  walking is how i can gauge how i'm doing. i've walked 2-5 miles nearly every day for probably 30 years now. it's a good tell how fast/slow i go, if i get short of breath, how and where i'm sore. luckily Ivy is older now and mostly just carries her tennis ball. slow bends for the times she really wants a toss. the little incisions are healing and the glue is falling off. just a bit itchy now. 

we did do a drive out to see the sunset and see a plane at Lake Hood decorated with lights one day.  i also took the dogs for photos with Santa the other day.  mostly, it's just the walk, a little errand and then home. 

reading, crosswords, games, tv...just try to keep myself busy and rest a lot. 

not sure where i'll walk today. it's been a headache day. nothing unusual about that, nor is that related to the surgery. 

i think my short term is coming through. i'll look after this. they have paperwork it sounds like. 

was re-watching some sex and the city, haven't seen for years. funny, they now seem pretty crazy and pathetic in many ways. was billed as strong independent women, but they mostly just wanted men to like them.  nothing new there. i remember after i left the church, i had taken to reading magazines like cosmo...try to figure out normal femaleness. a friend pointed out that the entire magazine was just article after article on how to make a man happy...nothing new from the way i was raised...except the church told you to cook and clean and be some helpmate, the magazine focused on how you looked and how you behaved in bed. they need articles on how to make you man see the ways he should be trying to make you happy...

i had sent out cards to the folks who sent me cards the last few years.  i bought less.  less people are doing cards and i'm less into obligations than i used to be.  some folks just aren't interested in doing the card thing. that is fine.  why should i waste money and effort sending cards to people who literally show zero interest in it all. so i have a few spares that i figure if i get that unexpected card i can respond with a card. post op, all the christmas stuff is not that important this year anyway. i got done what i could before surgery. 

i have done too much internet shopping for things i clearly do not need....i think i just like the potential for a package arrival. not too much to look forward too during this time. packages are fun though. 

now that it's been a week, it's time to get some of those weekly home chores done.  cat little, linen change, laundry. i'll just have to pace myself and get stuff done. life goes on of course. 

not sure where to walk today....will wait out this headache a bit i think. 

it's cold out there again today.  back in the teens i think. layer up. when i get home i turn on the mattress pad heater and reheat. need to fine better ways to entertain myself over the next several weeks. 

these are all from this summer and a few summers ago. both in August though. 

thus the mushrooms. 

and a lack of snow of course.  we don't have all that much snow here right now. some ice. may just hit the dog park today. Sunny loves to play with the other pups. 

summer are always great up here. i love the winter though as well. we are nearly to Solstice so it will be nice to start gaining in light. i enjoy the peace though of winter and the darkness. with all the light in summer you really feel obligated to just keep going so winter is a time you tend to allow yourself to be a bit lazy and shut in. watch old reruns, read books, do art projects. hermiting is a good time for people like myself, who don't always love loads of social interaction. 

i say that but most introverts want to be invited, we want to be remembered, we may not always respond normally but we secretly want to be included and sad when we aren't, even if we don't actually participate. i know we are strange on complicated, us humans. 

i've had a few sad/depressed moments this past week. i think that is to be expected. work is good for me in some ways, it forces to me interact and mix with other humans.  it's easy for me to hermit up and work forces the hermit out of the cabin. 

still a few light events that involve small amount of walking that hopefully i will get to next week.  also do enjoy short drives around just to see what lights are up in neighborhoods. 

no desire to go to any church services. i tend to panic with any organized religion. not really a big believer in the tales of Christianity at this point. most of the big stuff is just a repeat of other Gods of the past. Horus, Hercules, Thor were all sons of deity. the resurrection and ascension stories Hercules, dionysus.  sacrament...done

much of the "christmas" celebrations are stolen from paganism. it seems to make sense that most current religions are really just recreated from previous Gods/religions. i think many things that we currently relate to Jesus were derived from others, like Mithras

long fasting, going to temples as pre-teen/teen, solitude, very common.  Buddha did this as well. even the idea of a virginal birth is not just a Jesus thing.  son of God, also done before. many were also in stories of being slain to redeem others. the older i get the less the religion plays a major role. i do like the idea of a time that celebrates kindness and good will towards all. i think we all need that reminder in life. i also love the pomp and circumstance of the lights and music and decorations in general. 

a little gift giving and getting can be fun as well. 

i don't like the obligations that often come with this time of year and the stress that so many are put under to celebrate a certain way. 

i also am less and less impressed with the rise of evangelicals who bastardize the hopeful and giving messages or all these divinities over the generations. the Gods names change and the many of the details change along with them.  there are themes that run through. idolatry and greed have become far too prominent in these "religions".  they play like they are doing good when in actuality they are just using the season to increase they wealth while doing as  little as possible to help others, just enough to put on the show of it.  i know that makes me a very jaded individual. 

may just hit the dog park in a bit. super easy. want to get to best buy over the next few weeks.  get a new desk top before this one dies.  so far so good, but it is from 2009. any recommendations.  just like storage for photo's. don't see this happening today though. dang headaches. 

will be several months before we see flowers again. 

thanks again for the kind words and for those who have helped me, called, texted....it really is the little things in life that bring the most joy.  

i did sent a message to the local shelter saying i could take in a cat with her kittens. they'd have to be kept in a separate room but would be a good distraction.  no word back from them though.  i won't push it. 

not much exciting to say here.  i've avoided much of the politics.  it is what it is, right? we are basically fucked....what else is there to say. 

Sunny Boy is watching the neighborhood, i feel very safe for sure. lol.  he's so brave

ashes left at the dog park. i still leave ashes places. Tusker passed away early December those few years ago. i lost Blossom and Rio in November different years but this time of year is always a reminder of those loses. i do feel like those dogs send me other dogs and watch over us. easier for me to trust and believe in dogs than Gods.  i know that makes little sense in the big picture.  dogs are just pure in heart and religions...well, the proof is they tend to lean towards controlling and greedy. 

rest, walk, errand, nap...that is the plan at least until after solstice i think. 

i'll check back online on the short term disability stuff latter this evening.  can only sit on a computer for so long. 

again thanks, hope all goes well for everyone out there. the holidays can be fun or rough so i hope that any who read this are finding some peace and joy at this season.  for me that is often just a drive to look at lights and a snuggle with the dogs watching some sappy Christmas thing. 

grateful A to those who honor the peace of the season and the reason for the season B continue healing C that i've been able to get out each day and let nature do it's healing as well. 

In recovery mode

had my surgery on Dec 12 so i'm day 3 post op. while other women my age are getting face lifts, i was getting a uterus lift. i had a prolapsed uterus. so a sacrocolpopexy was done...i can't really even say it. kind of a surgery you aren't excited to scream at the roof top you have had. you can get secondary issues from having a prolapsed uterus so i got it repaired. 

still waiting on the short term disability to come through. if i was a regular office worker i would only need a few weeks to recover but my job requires some heavy lifting and there is no light duty for us so i've requested several weeks off post op. will be a good break in so many ways.  so hopefully, i get the short term disability to come through.  several phone calls before the office nurse sent in the papers, i brought it in as soon as i got the papers to print off. 

going under general anesthesia is always a little anxiety inducing. many thanks to the friends who stayed with me before and after surgery and have called and texted and stopped by. 

as a single female you do get used to the fact that you will have to be more independent than some.  it has been pointed out to me over the years that having a life partner does not necessarily promise help post op though. anyway, there are some moments that kind of bite being single and during recovery from surgery or in illness can be one of those. 

i was sprinkling de-ice stuff on the driveway and a car pulled up...for a moment i thought i was going to be gifted with a flower delivery.  nope, just someone parking there and going some place else. silly me.  you will always have little melt down moments or pity me moments. i would guess those happen to all of us no matter our situation. life is just that way. overall, i enjoy my independence, but there are those little bummer moments. 

today i took my walk with the dogs alone. i only missed walking them friday. i took them for a walk pre-op on thursday and on Sat a friend joined me to help get Ivy back in the car. today i took the element so Ivy jumped in coming and going. i can't always count on having someone join me for walks.  as a single person you want to get the least amount of help you need and not make people do more than they should to help you.  like pick what is most important and most needed and then do everything you can independently. you are always balancing need/want and not burning out your friends who so kindly help you. 

i am still sore and today i probably overdid it a bit. i was trying to avoid any narcotics during the day. that lasted until 1800. the last 48 hours i have only been taking 1/2 of one pain pill every 6-12 hours. i also needed my post op poop. walking and drinking fluid is the best for that.  day 3 no poop and narcotics will bind you up so another reason to avoid them.  after the walk i stopped by the grocery for some recommended "smooth move" tea. before i could make the tea after returning home though, nature took it's course.  i do have the tea still in case i need it. 

it is nice not having my uterus sticking out of my body.  it's the little things in life.  also i'm noticing right now that my pelvic girdle feels good...is that the narcotics i took at 6pm or does having my uterus back in a normal position make the entire region happier. 

we had a warm up right before surgery and so the place melted and turned to ice. a wee bit of snow today. careful walking with cleats on for sure. 

tried to prep the house by decorating and getting as much xmas stuff completed as i could. wasn't sure how i'd feel post op for doing things other than recovery and walking the dogs. 

that does seem to wear me out so far. 

some house cleaning, some art projects. handing out local gifts, mailing remote ones. 

i have no big xmas plans really.  just relaxing.  hopefully, i'll get feeling well enough to look at some lights. tonight i missed the solstice tree lights in Kincaid. i've seen them before and will see them again.  it was cold out and very icy out. that trail is a bit hilly so i figured best to just skip it this year. 

i would like to sign up for a class learning how to do felting. i think that is cool looking. 

i'd also like to sign sunny up for some classes. he deserves to be better trained. he's super smart and i have slacked a bit on his training.  covid, grief. so better late than never may be the best way to go

tomorrow i'll have to make sure the short term disability is settled and then make sure i understand how that works.  it's not something i've done before. 

hopefully, i'll get some good sleep tonight. 

went out with a few friends pre surgery to decorate some trees at north bivouac with dog toys/balls and bird stuff.  that night the chinook winds blew through...i went to the area the next day and did some repairs. wasn't as bad as i expected.

i would love to get the dogs over to see a santa for some photo ops. 

not the most exciting holiday. it's a strange year anyway. the election of this total idiotic corrupt mess has put a damper on life in general. more for me i think, is the sadness of knowing so many i know would choose this and not think there was any issue choosing this. now we will all suffer the consequences.  

it is mostly sadness for me i think. i have accepted that we are mostly powerless and will just have to deal with what comes next.  hoping that what eventually comes will be  better than what we are currently dealing with.  that eventually, elders will be cared for, healthcare will be for all and education will be free and not full off Christian bull.

it's the last hurrah for the crazed lunatics on the right. they have bitched for years about people saying happy holidays over merry christmas...someone said we will say merry christmas again once they put christ back in christmas.  the christian religion has just been so corrupted by corporate greed. these churches are nothing more than businesses. they help very few and live to make more and more money and to do nothing that comes even close to the messages that have been deemed christlike. 

i do love the spirit of the old christmas, the simpleness. i've watched a few classic movies but i won't be attending any organized religious events. some big box churches have spent literally millions to bring in the crowds with huge and elaborate shows. who Jesus was has been totally lost and corrupted. 

i was for sure anxious going in to surgery.  they took me in to the operating room fully awake.  it's a big room filled with everything for every emergency possibly. they knocked me out pretty fast though, thankfully.  i did like the crew that worked with me.  having it done at the hospital i work at made for some familial faces. some old icu nurses that now work day surgery popped in to say hello. 

i better crash soon.  still get anxious about things  but i am  better at recognizing it.  hopefully, i continue to heal. again thanks to all who have checked in and helped me through this. 

these are from August in '22 and '24. i mix and match now.  

there are beautiful places all over up here and they change so rapidly and look so different every time you go.

this big sweetie!  the animals have been attentive of course. they did love having friends stop by those first few days. 

thought it was all about them.  

i have been able to take care of them.  always most important. 

still some from a little train ride. 

it really was a pretty day. good to just play tourist up here from time to time.  

we were trying to get to Grandview but this loop of a hill up kept stalling us out.  we never got there, perhaps another time. 

parked and waiting to go

the river on the way back

cool looking clouds that day on the drive to the train. 

this is from a walk out of Abbot Loop trail

and of course, mushrooms

back to the train

one of my good friends.  off to bed. i'll post again with an update next week probably, hopefully, i continue to heal and walk more and more. 

grateful for a. competent surgeon and staff.  b. friends and family checking in on me and taking care of me. c. the dogs and cats that motivate me to move.