shots fired...oh and Happy Easter...

 

the shots were not fired on Easter.  i worked peds one night this last stretch and then i was a sitter on 5W-neuro.  that patient didn't really need a sitter and ICU needed me so i was moved to ICU.  i got there and they no longer needed me so after some discussion i was allowed to head home.  i clocked out...on the computer in hopes that i no longer get missed clock in/outs. i headed out to my car. i pack in the back lot and it was 3 am at this point.  as i was nearing my car i heard shots ringing out. pop-pop-pop-pop-pop, pause, pop-pop-pop-pop...around 9-10 shots. i saw nothing as the noise was coming from the woods beyond the parking lot and more to the right side of it. 

i was closer to my car than to the hospital at this point but my car was in the direction of the shots fired so i worried a shooter would come running out of woods towards me. i chose to book towards the car for a get a way. i never saw any shooter or heard any further shots fired.  i didn't wait around though.  headed out and then called the house sup from the road to report the shots. saw nothing on any police logs so no idea what that was all about. got my heart racing for a bit and it took a bit to settle in and sleep.

it's been windy and snowing out the past 24 hours. well some rain and hail mixed in last night.  the dog kennel blew over so i've left it until the wind settles.  it does seem to be settling down now.  thought i'd pop in a blog post, then walk dogs and hit grocery store perhaps. 

i've had a bit of a bug the last 3 days now anyway. low fevers, sore throat.  sinus plugged but now draining. aches/chills....the usual bug stuff. tired mostly. we managed the dog park yesterday.  the trails are the usual spring mess. Ivy got a little bite yesterday. loaded up on pet supplies and that was all i could handle yesterday. 

this religion stuff is very odd sometimes to me. i was raised Mormon. i left over 30 years ago. from what i recall of Easter...it was easter baskets, new sunday dress, photo's and eh service. we always mocked those that just showed up for Christmas, Easter and Mothers Day.  in truth looking back, Mormons were really only Christians on Christmas and Easter. aside from that, we were about Mormonism. we steered clear of Holy Week and no Lent and absolutely no crosses. it was almost arrogant...always the vibe was that Joseph Smith had talked with angels or God or i'm not even sure anymore...but he'd asked what church to join and was told that none of the churches were any good. so i guess with that history it's not shocking that most other Christians do not welcome Mormons in the Christian fold. 

of course, i do recall as a kid that there was the beginnings of the Mormon church trying to fix this assumption and make it more clear that Mormons were Christians.  eventually, they have tried to drop calling themselves Mormon.  at the time it was just trying to emphasis the full name of the church, which is a bit wordy. it's been odd this holiday to hear family talking about palm Sunday and the other parts of holy week.  i'd heard of them as a kid since my best friend/neighbor was raised very catholic.  i know i was given the Joseph Smith talk about how Mormons do not do the whole Holy week/lent/cross thing. of course, as long as they have all that temple stuff and other doctrine that directly contradicts what mainstream Christians believe, they will have a tough time being fully accepted. 

doing the braid thing

when i was young my Dad gave me this big chart. it compared all the major Christian religions and what they believed.  Mormons were very different on this chart from the others. i can't recall why my Dad gave me this chart.  it was eye opening to me.  so i am grateful that my Dad was confident enough in his own faith to allow me to explore. i suppose that is family to family but i have always felt that those that fight against your faith crisis the hardest are the ones who struggle with their own doubts the most. those with a very solid faith do not need to convince you of anything. the truth is, despite the rumors to the opposite, a good percentage of folks who leave organized religions do so after a great deal of research.  most hoped that their religion would hold up to scrutiny and quite frankly, it should hold up.  that was how i felt. if it all falls apart so easily, it can't possibly be the one and only truth. 

the truth is...the Mormon religion doesn't take that much of a concerted effort of research for it to fall apart...which is one of the reasons they strongly advise their members to not tempt their faith by doing this research.  i think polygamy is a huge one, easy to tear apart the church with. i mean the bottom line is those guys were just perverts. i know that is not what folks want to hear but taking on one wife of a guy who died crossing the plains may be comfortable to explain away...taking in 10-60+ wives...that is a pervert.  taking in girls under age 18, sending off husbands and taking their wives....perverts! getting yourself sealed to multiple women who are dead, including children so you'll have many wives in the next life...perverts. homophobia, racism, financial bull...history, it all crumbles.  then add in all the bizarre, cult like stuff that happens in temples. underwear, secret names (which are really just given on a rotation), secret handshakes....i'm no brain surgeon and i figured it out. 

Easter and Christmas historically were taken from pagan rituals. the Christians wanted to phase out the pagan stuff so they morphed the rituals into their own celebrations. this is why Easter isn't on the same day.  something to do with the moon i think.  also funny that the Christians are flipping out that it's also a trans celebration day today. they are screaming about Biden mentioning it and thinking he created it so they are using that to anger the Christians...which quite frankly, they are probably the easiest people to piss off.  they have so much hatred in them these days.  which is so odd because it's so not the message of Jesus in the New Testament.  oh well. the trans thing was made back in 2009. every day has like a dozen things its the day of. it doesn't take much to create a day to celebrate stuff. 

interestingly, Christmas and Easter seem to be morphing from secular holidays to non-secular holidays. just go to a walmart or target to see that.  if you came from India around the holidays thinking it was religious you would think we celebrate bunnies and chickens and santa and reindeers. there is hardly anything left in these holidays that actually is based on religion...perhaps another reason the Mormons are trying to grasp for the holy week things.  

i realize this isn't the most Easter post.  i will bite the head off a chocolate rabbit today. that really will be the extent of my holiday.  partly because i still feel a bit poorly and partly because the older i get the more i see it all as nonsense. i do like a cute  bunny though and a puppy wearing bunny ears. 

post trump there is a part of me that wonders if this person Jesus was really just a guy who could rally a crowd. was he more of a con man? are they all?

you shouldn't need a religion to convince you to be kind. to tell you to follow basic tenets of society like don't kill...of course, don't rape wasn't included.  there are reasons why the religions across the board seem to favor the male of the species. no matter who it is.  what great spiritual leader, they all seem to treat whatever female they have as a second class citizen. that is ancient and modern.  

trump is selling his own bible now.  $60 bucks and those idiot followers of his are buying it up no doubt. you can get bibles for free. king james version...well...who is king james? he ruled England from 1603-1625 and he commissioned a translation of the bible. it is pretty well documented he was gay, he was also married and had several kids. the bible has been translated many times and into many languages. it was written long after Jesus died. lets just remember that womens voices have been absent for generations

anyway, that is my Easter rant i guess. stolen holidays.  a time honored tradition.  

Christians are pissed at the present because their religion is not holding it's space as much as it did. they have all this money but they are losing members. people are walking away.  greed and hatefulness are driving away members i suspect. they seem to hate everyone. it's the opposite of the teachings...lucky for them a good percentage of those who haven't left don't actually read the bible from cover to cover. some are willing to just be told what to believe and what to think. that is how cults succeed. 

religion often uses fear tactics. i know the Mormons did.  i was scared leaving but happy i pushed through that. people who have the truth and walk away are told they will be in the worst position in the next life. that, in itself, is proof of the lie. scare tactics do work though.  also stress of being pushed away from family and friends.  we do all like the comforts of our social circles. we rarely grow when we remain comfortable though. 

i'm always grateful for the struggles. i suspect religions often stunt people.  yes, it does sound lovely to do exactly as you are told to get to heaven but really, what is the point of this whole life experience if all we do is stay on the straight and narrow path, hold fast to the iron rod.  there is no actual free agency when you give it up out of fear.  life for each day instead of living for the mystery of the next life

saw a quote the other day...there is a time to stop crossing oceans for people who wouldn't even jump over puddles for you. 

i'd say don't cross oceans for religions that wouldn't jump puddles for you. these organizations are frauds and cons.  sorry. i'm saying it. they take money and really help very few, depending on the organization. the Mormons are well known for not helping many despite their huge financial holdings.  now they add in all these donations from these giving machines like they are the ones giving the cash. saves them from parting with their own cash. it's pretty amoral if you ask me. 

i realize this is not my most uplifting blog. it's real.  i said it. i just get tired of being the one who has to bow down to the great and almighty religions.  it's sacrilege to speak ill of these mega churches but it needs to be done.  they have lost the message of the Jesus they claim to represent. that Jesus, according to the messages they claim he is said to have shared, would be appalled at what these people are doing in his name. 

there is beauty on this earth and kindness and grace...but that beauty and kindness and grace is not dependent on these greedy religions that lead with fear and hatred. that create self loathing in the people who come to them hoping to be filled. 

i often think of all the issues in our society these organizations could help solve if only they were willing to actually practice what they preach....Jesus may have died on that cross for our sins but he did not do it so that organized religious corporations could profit from it all. 

i'm sure this Jesus would be very shocked to see bunnies and painted eggs being part of the celebration of his life and resurrection. 

better go walk these dogs.  it's less windy. grateful for A. the journey that keeps taking me down unknown paths B. not getting shot C. chocolate bunnies

little disasters....welcome break up!

 

saw the sides of the shed buldging. peeked inside and the roof was partially collapsed. not safe to enter at this point below.  above is what i returned from work to.  a neighbor said there was a lot of noise around 1:30 am and then a lot of dogs barking after that.  thankfully, both dogs and cats are fine and safe. Covid Cat likes to hang out in the shed. not anymore. hoping he's avoiding it. 

i have put a claim in with insurance and i'm hopeful it will cover the replacement. a bit nervous as there are lights inside so the electric, plus a jug of gas.... now that the roof has collapsed i'm hoping that is the extent of the falling. now it's just a matter of melting the snow and beginning some removal. today i reached in from the side and grabbed out a few things.  not the things that are more expensive like the seats to the element and the lawn mower. should have snapped a photo of general stuff inside. i know the papasan chair was in there as well. my bike is in there as well, now that i think of it. 

this also happened this week. the little free library is still intact. it just detached from the post and fell over.  it's on the deck and the books are covered on the deck as well. another spring fix. 

this was when i first noticed the buldging.  see Covid Cat inside. i miss my sunshine and flowers already. 

my third near disaster was noticed this morning when i realized i'd sent one of my ear buds through the wash. it was in a pocket. i'm listening to music as i write on the ear bud so i guess it survived okay. just needed to be charged up. 

two nights work done, two to go.  a two week work week is lovely.  not sure how long i'll last at that either though. really just need to retire from here and find another job. will live a bit poor this summer and hope to make a change in the fall sometime. enjoy this summer. i can pick up a shift here and there. we will see how the paycheck looks. 

my body really is getting tired of bedside nursing.  it hasn't been a bad career really.  hell at times, especially during the pandemic. it allowed me to work just 3 shifts a week and enjoy a great and adventurous life while i was young enough to enjoy it all. i see far too many who wait too long to live and do the things they want to do. our bodies just can be very different as we get older.  all those kayaks i carried, the hikes i did...all just so much easier with a younger, healthier body. 

i have never been rich but i've always been able to be independent. bought a house.  took care of my household of pets. covid took the wind out of my work.  i don't think healthcare has recovered. it may never.  those who worked through may not.  many have left the bedside. the younger ones don't last long at the bedside. humans have just gotten less grateful and more hateful.  that is the truth of it. 

corporations run the hospitals now more and it's a corporate/capitalist business.  there is very little appreciation for what we do during our shifts.  there was absolutely zero gratefulness from hospitals for those who stuck it out.  i've heard of one tale of a hospital that gave a real bonus for those employees who stayed.  mostly, we are just a number to them.  they need bodies and could really care less how good or bad those bodies are at their jobs.  mostly, i'd say that is because upper management is clueless what it mean to be a patient, what it means to take care of those patients and their families.  it's only about the bottom line. profit.  profit is the only thing that matters anymore. 

the job post covid is starting to normalize a bit except that the faces and experience have changed dramatically. it used to be a better balance of experienced and inexperienced nurses and nurses that were core and nurses that were travel staff. now it's a smathering of experienced core nurses surrounded by totally green staff and travelers, many of the travelers do not have that much experience. in the past they required much more training and experience before someone branched out to travel nursing.  now they start traveling with very little experience. it's frankly quite scary in hospitals. i know we generally have it better here than other parts of the country.  the south, especially Florida are really scary. so the patients keep getting sicker and the staff has same ratios but with far less experience and support. 

those that stayed have way too much responsibility heaped on them with no appreciation.  they work extra because the numbers are bad and they care about their co-workers.  they know what it means to work even more short staffed and with so little experience. our hospital is in union talks. we may end up in a strike by summer. 

i also note that there are far more men in nursing.  interesting to me....it will impact things going forward...as will the younger generation, who will not put up with the work loads that previous nursing staff accepted. they scamper from the bedside as fast as they can. if they want to keep nurses at the bedside for longer than a few years, these hospitals will have to give more. Covid also proved that there was money out there to be made.  bedside, staff nursing was a fools game really. i predicted they will have to pay more contract type wages as the expectations will rise. so far the hospital/corporate greed continues.  

the birth rate is declining. someone noted...why would anyone want to bring children into this country that is doing such a terrible time with womens health issues, healthcare in general. destroying schools, taking away rights.  allowing gun nuts to get all the guns they want and look the other way at all these mass shootings. the corporate greed is demanding more babies to join the work force and yet they take all the money and make it impossible for the generations coming up to have adequate housing.  cars are crazy expensive. the cost of living nuts.  we have far too many at the top taking all the resources and stealing from the regular folks.  it's not sustainable. their greed and selfishness are destroying all this nation once offered. 

we had our walrus lecture last Tuesday. i think it went really well. myself and two of the board members....thanks guys! i made the walrus cupcakes...thanks pinterest.  they were a hit.  we had bags to give out and Fish and Game did a great job. lots of interest in going out to this amazing place. hope they get more action on the cameras out there this year.  he said he already had 30 folks signed up for this summer. 

REI was very excited as we filled up and even had a waiting list. it was a pretty day so that dropped off the count a bit but still a full room and happy folks at the end.  i was nervous all day.  it as a lot of new folks, fish and game and REI so i wasn't sure how it would all go. it went well. i talked too fast of course. being in front of folks.  that is how i roll. 

i'm chipping away at the driveway. it's melting fairly quickly.  still had several inches of ice on the driveway.  i have the ice chipper. do a bit each day.  it's part of the work out. the trails are looking worse and worse. walking will be a bit rough for a little bit.  probably need to go up high.  powerline.  they get super punchy fast though.  we will maybe pull more leash walks. the bears will be waking up so leash walks are not the worst idea with Sunny. 

Ivy loves her tennis ball.  needs chase time. her non-surgical knee has been a bit sore of late after walks so she would actually do good to have less tennis ball time. 

almost done with this fun trip photo's. it's been fun to keep popping them in as it was just such a fun week. 

i've gotten a few trips to low tides in Homer planned out.  also Tonsina in April. we have that boat trek for Alaska Geographic. that is in May.  

my back and knee has been sore for a few weeks now. so annoying. 

a few more from Orca Island.  beautiful place/escape.  spendy but worth it. 

so happy we were able to end the week here and relaxing. 

we didn't have the best weather that 24 hours but it was still beautiful

we relaxed here in the evening. 

stops to see the flowers on the way back

love this bridge.

grateful for A. just 2 shifts/week B. the ear bud survived the wash. C. that there were no injuries to humans or pets with the crash of the shed and that we had gotten the roof shoveled, better the shed than the roof.