60 has come and gone....

 

on to the next part of life. happy i have been able to enjoy as many years as i have been able to.  don't like the idea of leaving this place one day.  many do not get as many years or great experiences that i have been gifted though. life has a way of helping you see things in perspective. 

no huge celebration just a blend of smaller meals out with friends. was supposed to meet up with friends again last night but instead i got a fever and flu and combined that with a migraine. my temp max was 101, but today it's down in the 99 range.  feeling a bit better. not perfect but improved. 

needed to pay a few bills so i thought i would blog

this part of life seems to see things coming more full circle. accepting what is, enjoying the small beauties this life has to offer.  

accepting limitations that come with aging as well. i hear other friends also finding acceptance. not wanting to backpack or sleep in tents as much as we once did. enjoying more creature comforts from our previous adventures. 

i will be forever grateful that i have been able to have so many adventures over the years.  far too many hold off on doing fun things and work their arses off, putting off things until they "retire". sadly, when you are at the age of retirement, you often do not have the abilities to do the things you could have done. 

work has been a challenge for me of late but i am grateful that my career allowed me to meet some amazing people and also gave me so much time off to get out and see and do things. 

i'm learning, i'm growing.  it's a never ending pursuit. saw a quote about us needing to let go of the person we had to become to deal with the things we needed to deal with.  for me that is probably letting go of being so independent. letting go of always being ready for a fight. letting go of putting up the walls of protection. 

i was on my own a lot growing up.  i learned to fight, i was constantly ready for battle. i need to release the battle and find acceptance in what is. what never will be. i was forever trying to prove myself worthy of love, love that didn't always flow freely. was trying to prove that i was a good person to people who would never believe that about me. 

i've backed off from people who never noticed i backed off...which really just means i was never that valued in the first place. these things can be painful but they can also be freeing. finding acceptance in what is rather than wasting time hoping for something that never was. 

often people are in our lives for a time and a purpose.  i have backed away from some people over the years as well.  we all come and go at times. you find the people you need in your life in the moment though and the good ones stick around. 

slow moving today. i may try to get these dogs out for a little walk.  

i did make it back down yet again to Homer this week. met up with friends. the tides were not all that low but was still able to find a few treasures to enjoy.  no octopus this time. 

lots of stars and anemones and one tiny sand dollar shell. 

we watched a crow digging in the sand.  it came out with a good sized fish. you just never know what you are walking over out there in the intertidal zone. 

these are last years flowers. the lupine is starting to pop out on the turnigan. i stopped to take a few photos. i never tire of the constant drama of this land. then, eventually, the winter settles back in.

i have several projects this summer. i need to figure out my life.  i have taken a little break work wise by only working 2 shifts a week. it's not really sustainable but it was mentally a good break. 

the dogs were patient with me yesterday since they had just been in Homer for 3 nights.  today, they will want to play again. 

these are still from the April trek to Homer.  my next visit there will be in July. 

going to the beach is always relaxing and fills me up

i would love to get there more often.  southeast ak was great too.  the ocean is just a peaceful place for me. 

it rained a little bit this week down there but nothing too bad.  because it was a holiday weekend, it was much more crazy than the last two visits this year. 

i've made a few appointments. i hate making appointments and committing myself to stuff.  the person from insurance is due to come out next month. i probably ticked her off so hopefully, that doesn't go badly when she does show up here. 

dentist, doctor, vet, insurance...always something, right?

mostly, my life is pretty chill.  i hang with the pets and keep it simple. 

a line of anemones. 

last week was not my best week of work.  the stretch before i felt pretty good.  strange how some days are just less stressful than others. 

fever kicking in a bit again i think.  need to eat something.  yesterday i was puking.  hate puking!! 

had someone come out to give an estimate for tree cuts.  way too expensive and a bit of an odd interaction. people are strange some times. 

i need to chop down the pine tree that is now leaning over the deck. i'm thinking a rope to pull it away from the house and then cut it.  i'm no expert but living on your own sometimes you have to just rely on yourself to get stuff done. 

often i have to get myself mentally prepared for these things.  others, i'm sure, just do stuff with out much fanfare.  it's just who i am though. 

another fun trip down to Homer.  stops along the way. the dogs were happy, slept on the way back.  bummer to get sick after but that happens i guess. 

we shall see what the 60's bring for me.  how long will i live? none of us know the answers to that one. just enjoy each day and each season and when it ends it ends.  can't waste too much time and energy worried about a future that may or may not happen.  you die and then all the stuff gets sorted out. you aren't around to fret over it. 

i am so grateful that i walked away from things in life that would have stunted me.  too many spent far too much energy stressing about heaven and hell and the next life.  i have been unburdened from that for years. in this way, i just live each day.  i try to be a good person because, we should all strive for that.  none of us should need some fear of hell to know how to be decent humans. as they say, if that fear is the only thing keeping you from being an ass, well, you are probably an ass anyway. 

i don't think that is exactly how that goes but that is the idea. some have difficulty comprehending that concept. just being a good person because that is who you should strive for. some also need to believe that they have some truth over the others that will put them in better standing in some next life. it's a strange concept to me as well. needing to feel some superiority over the others on the earth. that somehow there is an entity that likes you better because you were born into the "right" church.  in truth...what religion anyone is, is more based on where you are born and to whom. 

life is not perfect, it can be frustrating and depressing but overall, i think mine has been pretty great. 

i better get off this computer and get these dogs walked.  need to eat as well. 

happy i feel a bit better today.  not great, slept like crap last night, but things can always be worse.  others are out there always, that have it much worse.  this whole Israel/Palestine conflict is a disaster. Israel has not done itself any favors in the public opinion by the slaughter it's carrying out.  and eye for an eye only goes so far. at some point your reaction is not always as justified as you think it is. 

we still have a crazy election coming up in November.  poor choices always but the GOP is a disaster. 

all of the stores are open again in Homer.  the place is hopping. 

it's after noon, but i am at least showered. 

these pups are the best!!

grateful for A.  each day i get to exist here and enjoy the beauty B.  the relative good health i have for my age C.  another relaxing and successful trek to Homer

busy stretch off...

 

got over the GI bug and headed to Homer with the dogs. it was good low tides. it was pretty sweet since i had an octopus sighting each morning. 

the first morning i went way out there and then started working my way back.  i saw a large octopus and took lots of photo's and video's. i posted on a few pages and the videos and photo's of low tide have gotten a lot of attention.  always fun. i was mostly just excited to get to spend that time enjoying a beautiful creature i don't see all the time. 

the second octopus was a bit smaller the next day. i was looking at some anemones and these tentacles just reached out. not great shots or video as the little guy headed back under the rock into it's hiding spot/den. 

the stars were back. not in as high of numbers as i've seen in the past but plenty to make it super fun. KR was there to enjoy some of the low tide fun. thanks for a great meal as well. 

had a little bit of snow/rain mixed coming up to Summit Lake and then hit a bit of a spring squaller coming back, nothing really until we got to Windy point.  then snow storm.  roads were good the entire way.  

spotted lots of moose on the way to Homer this time as well as several moose in town.  saw a bear near Skilak Lake on the return trip. i was happy that Sunny Boy just watched and didn't bark even. 

they are always completely wiped after a fun trip some place. 

i do have to think more about money with just two shifts. will for sure feel poor a bit this summer.  i do enjoy just working 2 shifts a week.  may add it an extra shift each month just to make it a bit easier financially. i'm feeling a bit better about the work.  just do not want to do 3 in a row. will look more seriously at options come fall. we are getting raises and avoided the strike i guess. 

i also wandered around a bit and saw some cranes.  love the cranes. they are just such cool birds. so they are back in town as well.  the birds are all over really.  so it was another relaxing and fun trek to Homer.  did a little shopping for myself. bought a cute bracelet and earrings, my own little Birthday celebration. 

still trying to get used to what the reality is in some aspects of life. let go of hopes and expectations. it's not always easy. some live more for the next life than this one. it's a strange thing in my mind. that the next life takes precedence over this lifes experiences and relationships. that really is the reality for some though. 

the next day after Homer my friends came over to help with demo of the shed.  two loads of roof parts to the dump.  thanks to MT, GT and SH for being willing to do this for me. MT thinks we may be able to salvage three walls. 

i've done some yard work and planted some spring flowers now that the snowstorm is over and the temps are back up in the 50's again. i planted the rain boots.  always cute on the front deck. the deck needs a plank replaced. 

the cruise for a cause was on Saturday. with the snow it was a bit iffy. it rained most of the boat trip.  we saw a variety of critters, no whales but still a fun day on the water. the girl from REI was there so that was fun to run into her. the people that run Shearwater lodge, the next place over from Orca lodge, was there and ended up eating lunch with us so that was a fun connection to make as well. the silent auction is always fun.  i ended up with a few fun items. 

i've been trying to contact State Farm just to see what the options are. need to make an appointment with my regular doc just for a check in. 

there is always some stuff that needs doing and i know i'm not close to getting stuff done.  i did decide that Monday the little free library would get set back up.  someone had noted that it was down to the little free library app so that was incentive. i got most of it done myself then knocked on a few neighbors doors and found a neighbor who helped secure the library.  i feared doing it alone as i figured it would fall over and bust. 

i've had some free items out front as i clean out and go through the stuff that was in the shed.  i still need to get my mower working.  gotta rig up the handle though.  may need to bother MT again for that.  probably a clip of some sort that i could use on the wire.  not sure. 

i still have tomorrow off.  may head down to Seward again for a low tide. not a crazy tide pool low tide like in Homer but still a lot of beach for the dogs to play on. 

will have to see how i feel about driving.  

tunicate above. didn't see as many of these out there this trip to Homer

i listened to the new poets society album by swift. many good a few eh.  she clearly wants to get married.  does seem like every guy she dates is the one.  my prediction is she will marry this football player as she is in her 30's and he seems willing.  who knows.  some girls like that big football/frat boy guy.  maybe he is fun and makes her feel safe. who knows. someone had done a tiktok about how she did the shake it off song but then seems to never shake anything off.  

when you write though you work through many things.  poems, lyrics, blogs, diaries, journals...that is the point.  it's cathartic. just because she sings the songs she wrote in the throws of a break up doesn't mean she is in the same place.  it just means those songs became popular and she keeps singing them. i was never that into analysis of stuff.  i was always frustrated in literature classes when the instructor wanted us to know what the author was thinking when they wrote this or that. seems kind of nuts to me.  how would i know what they meant by this or that. felt a bit bull shitty.  i've written a lot of poems. often it's a mixture of things.  you can't always guess, but her biggest fans really do like to do the analysis and she seems to enjoy interacting with her fans through some of these games and twists. it is above my music/poetry abilities or desires i guess.  there is some of her stuff i really like and other stuff that sounds very similar.  it does feel like the more you listen and really take in the lyrics the more you do end up liking a song. 

it is good driving music.  i listened to a variety of things though. 

the music thing has become so much easier now.  i did road trips with cassettes and later dvd's.  having to keep changing things up.  now you can easily select music or podcasts. i finally dumped the cassettes.  i still have dvd's. not sure what to do with some of the stuff. what do you keep, what to toss. 

it does get easier to toss stuff.  as you get older you get more realistic.  with limited years you realize, i won't read all these books or do the crafts that i once hoped to get to. it just makes that easier i think. i suppose for some it just overwhelms and they can't part with stuff. mostly, i get lazy and just give stuff away.  i know some who do marketplace and that money can really add up. 

battle over the ball. Ivy Rose is back to normal. the healing is complete. the antibiotics really did the best. i allowed her to go without the harness.  she enjoyed not being tethered in the back seat and never attempted to jump up front so that was good. without her harness on she even jumped in unassisted for much of the trip. 

love these pups.  lots of play time.  extra walks.  sometimes a few shorter walks. they do fairly well on leash so that is not too bad. we walked the bog tonight after doing the dunes earlier. 

sunny always looks so funny in the sunset light. his hair.  he still always gets attention wherever we go. he brings smiles. both are just happy dogs. 

they were interacting with a young girl on the trail today. she loved Ivy's name. the Mom was super nice. we walked along and chatted a bit. no moose sightings today. :-) 

traps in Homer.  they were still there. we hunted for otters on the docks but no luck. 

love the rock formations at low tide and that the critters make use of the cracks and crevices.

anemone. 

we stopped a few times coming and going to let the dogs and me stretch. i for sure need more stretching when doing longer drives as i get older. 

there are many places still to explore and some old favorites. 

well, i better get ready to crash. there were some huge solar events with major northern lights. we have a lot more light now so seeing northern lights is less likely also the state was mostly covered in clouds.  seems like only southeast got some views. funny since they are a rain forest. 

grab a few snacks.  my gut feels pretty normal. i bought yogurt as KR mentioned the clean out for the scope probably did a efficient wipe out of my normal flora. i usually do that but hadn't this time.  silly me. probably made me more prone to the gi bug in the first place. 

almost time to do the rqi stuff again.  the education stuff is such a bother. they added a bunch more in.  got several completed when i worked pcu the other night. 

not very exciting blog post. sorry.  the pictures are nice.  my life is calmer.  moments of sadness i think but more acceptance of the realities of what others are capable or of what they desire. i've stopped crossing oceans for people who would probably never cross a puddle for me. covid was the greatest reality check for me. life changing.  stressful, painful but life changing. 

grateful for A. my cool octopus sightings. B. the dogs that share my life C. the good friends and family who do show up and who do cross those oceans for me.