60 has come and gone....

 

on to the next part of life. happy i have been able to enjoy as many years as i have been able to.  don't like the idea of leaving this place one day.  many do not get as many years or great experiences that i have been gifted though. life has a way of helping you see things in perspective. 

no huge celebration just a blend of smaller meals out with friends. was supposed to meet up with friends again last night but instead i got a fever and flu and combined that with a migraine. my temp max was 101, but today it's down in the 99 range.  feeling a bit better. not perfect but improved. 

needed to pay a few bills so i thought i would blog

this part of life seems to see things coming more full circle. accepting what is, enjoying the small beauties this life has to offer.  

accepting limitations that come with aging as well. i hear other friends also finding acceptance. not wanting to backpack or sleep in tents as much as we once did. enjoying more creature comforts from our previous adventures. 

i will be forever grateful that i have been able to have so many adventures over the years.  far too many hold off on doing fun things and work their arses off, putting off things until they "retire". sadly, when you are at the age of retirement, you often do not have the abilities to do the things you could have done. 

work has been a challenge for me of late but i am grateful that my career allowed me to meet some amazing people and also gave me so much time off to get out and see and do things. 

i'm learning, i'm growing.  it's a never ending pursuit. saw a quote about us needing to let go of the person we had to become to deal with the things we needed to deal with.  for me that is probably letting go of being so independent. letting go of always being ready for a fight. letting go of putting up the walls of protection. 

i was on my own a lot growing up.  i learned to fight, i was constantly ready for battle. i need to release the battle and find acceptance in what is. what never will be. i was forever trying to prove myself worthy of love, love that didn't always flow freely. was trying to prove that i was a good person to people who would never believe that about me. 

i've backed off from people who never noticed i backed off...which really just means i was never that valued in the first place. these things can be painful but they can also be freeing. finding acceptance in what is rather than wasting time hoping for something that never was. 

often people are in our lives for a time and a purpose.  i have backed away from some people over the years as well.  we all come and go at times. you find the people you need in your life in the moment though and the good ones stick around. 

slow moving today. i may try to get these dogs out for a little walk.  

i did make it back down yet again to Homer this week. met up with friends. the tides were not all that low but was still able to find a few treasures to enjoy.  no octopus this time. 

lots of stars and anemones and one tiny sand dollar shell. 

we watched a crow digging in the sand.  it came out with a good sized fish. you just never know what you are walking over out there in the intertidal zone. 

these are last years flowers. the lupine is starting to pop out on the turnigan. i stopped to take a few photos. i never tire of the constant drama of this land. then, eventually, the winter settles back in.

i have several projects this summer. i need to figure out my life.  i have taken a little break work wise by only working 2 shifts a week. it's not really sustainable but it was mentally a good break. 

the dogs were patient with me yesterday since they had just been in Homer for 3 nights.  today, they will want to play again. 

these are still from the April trek to Homer.  my next visit there will be in July. 

going to the beach is always relaxing and fills me up

i would love to get there more often.  southeast ak was great too.  the ocean is just a peaceful place for me. 

it rained a little bit this week down there but nothing too bad.  because it was a holiday weekend, it was much more crazy than the last two visits this year. 

i've made a few appointments. i hate making appointments and committing myself to stuff.  the person from insurance is due to come out next month. i probably ticked her off so hopefully, that doesn't go badly when she does show up here. 

dentist, doctor, vet, insurance...always something, right?

mostly, my life is pretty chill.  i hang with the pets and keep it simple. 

a line of anemones. 

last week was not my best week of work.  the stretch before i felt pretty good.  strange how some days are just less stressful than others. 

fever kicking in a bit again i think.  need to eat something.  yesterday i was puking.  hate puking!! 

had someone come out to give an estimate for tree cuts.  way too expensive and a bit of an odd interaction. people are strange some times. 

i need to chop down the pine tree that is now leaning over the deck. i'm thinking a rope to pull it away from the house and then cut it.  i'm no expert but living on your own sometimes you have to just rely on yourself to get stuff done. 

often i have to get myself mentally prepared for these things.  others, i'm sure, just do stuff with out much fanfare.  it's just who i am though. 

another fun trip down to Homer.  stops along the way. the dogs were happy, slept on the way back.  bummer to get sick after but that happens i guess. 

we shall see what the 60's bring for me.  how long will i live? none of us know the answers to that one. just enjoy each day and each season and when it ends it ends.  can't waste too much time and energy worried about a future that may or may not happen.  you die and then all the stuff gets sorted out. you aren't around to fret over it. 

i am so grateful that i walked away from things in life that would have stunted me.  too many spent far too much energy stressing about heaven and hell and the next life.  i have been unburdened from that for years. in this way, i just live each day.  i try to be a good person because, we should all strive for that.  none of us should need some fear of hell to know how to be decent humans. as they say, if that fear is the only thing keeping you from being an ass, well, you are probably an ass anyway. 

i don't think that is exactly how that goes but that is the idea. some have difficulty comprehending that concept. just being a good person because that is who you should strive for. some also need to believe that they have some truth over the others that will put them in better standing in some next life. it's a strange concept to me as well. needing to feel some superiority over the others on the earth. that somehow there is an entity that likes you better because you were born into the "right" church.  in truth...what religion anyone is, is more based on where you are born and to whom. 

life is not perfect, it can be frustrating and depressing but overall, i think mine has been pretty great. 

i better get off this computer and get these dogs walked.  need to eat as well. 

happy i feel a bit better today.  not great, slept like crap last night, but things can always be worse.  others are out there always, that have it much worse.  this whole Israel/Palestine conflict is a disaster. Israel has not done itself any favors in the public opinion by the slaughter it's carrying out.  and eye for an eye only goes so far. at some point your reaction is not always as justified as you think it is. 

we still have a crazy election coming up in November.  poor choices always but the GOP is a disaster. 

all of the stores are open again in Homer.  the place is hopping. 

it's after noon, but i am at least showered. 

these pups are the best!!

grateful for A.  each day i get to exist here and enjoy the beauty B.  the relative good health i have for my age C.  another relaxing and successful trek to Homer