probably good to finally get covid. it was as good a time as any. much later in the game so better options, less virulent strain no doubt. i took sick the day after i returned from Homer from my Birthday trip. so happy it hit after i was home. always nicer to be sick at home.
i had a fever for 3 days straight. called my Dr and she ordered paxlovid for me. i only took one dose though as it made me shit for hours. already was dehydrated no doubt...did not need that. had to once again miss work so down to no pto so a bit short this week. luckily savings and selling a few items from the shed has helped.
my first two nights back to work i still was coughing a lot, kept the mask on. worked ICU...at least one night, maybe two. funny how quickly you forget where you worked. i just finished two nights and i was a sitter in Peds then moved to ER to be a sitter. last night i was in CSU. never my favorite. co-workers always ask where is my favorite place to work. different places add to the spice so i like to mix it up. none of them really at this time though. been working through pro/con lists stay or go. we shall cross that bridge when i need to, if i need to.
feeling better overall. still a little cough. felt like i had dry mouth for a long time but that seems to be improving. oddly, i still feel like my tear ducts are slightly blocked from the pink eye i had a few months back. wake up with dry eyes. annoying.
finally got brave and chopped down the tree that had fallen over the deck from the weight of the snow. i still have to finish cutting up the main trunk but was happy to get that down without doing further damage to anything.
the insurance company came by and i just got my numbers. now, can i find anyone to rebuild the shed? fingers crossed. i'll try to call tomorrow. i have a dentist and vet appointment tomorrow. just routine stuff.
one morning i got out of bed and saw a few feathers upstairs. i headed downstairs and found a bunch of feathers at the base of the stairs. i started looking for the dead bird, instead i came across a live bird by the back door. it was looking at me. lots of feather loss and appeared to have a broken wing. probably a young robin that was trying to learn to fly but instead met covid cat. no bird rescue on the weekend so i tried to make it comfortable, but in the end. it died from the shock i'm sure. felt bad for the poor bird.
went walking with my friend the other day at Campbell Airstrip. we headed down the airstrip but saw a black bear and her cub. so we went another direction. we again ran across the bear and her cub as we returned to our cars. luckily, she was headed our way down a different path and we got back to our cars before she got to the parking lot. took some fun photo's from the car.
drove out to the Eagle River Nature Center late one evening. if you drive that road you will often see wildlife. it was worth a shot. a saw a black bear and several moose. i was so tired. mostly, once the fever left i just felt exhausted.
last night was strange. it was in the low 70's and beautiful. i was inside and i started to hear loud thunder. we rarely get lightning and thunder in Anchorage. the interior gets it but it's rare here. some really dark clouds were seen up along the Chugach range. a nice rainbow came out. as i left for work i felt a sprinkle or two hit me. in less than a minute i was in a driving rain. visibility was crap, hail started up, the roads were quickly flooding. as i turned down Tudor Rd and headed west i soon was back in the sunshine.
i did a few day trips. one day i went to Matanuska Glacier with the dogs, another day i went to Seward.
both were beautiful. overall great weather.
i hit powerline trail. still some big patches of snow on the trail. got through several. finally turned back as one was pretty punchy. the dogs were happy to be out. with covid i hit the dog park quite a lot.
the bigger of the two octopus i saw recently.
wrote a poem the other week about turning 60 and i guess my feeling about being 60...maybe a little leftover covid. who knows.
Sixty,
don't give a shit,
any more,
any less,
walking away,
is easier,
saying goodbye,
getting closure,
unneccessary,
do me wrong,
cause me harm,
so long,
if the effort,
is all me,
i will flee,
leave me be,
embrace the peace,
sixty.
not sure why it wanted double spacing on that.
i was laughing yesterday as my phone rang and it was family who never call me. in my head i figured it was just a butt dial but i answered it. they wanted a recipe of my Mom's and couldn't get a hold of someone else.
i mentioned the thunder since the dogs were barking. some how this turned the conversation to signs of the second coming? no idea how that happened. do i worry about Jesus coming back, what would i do? i just kept saying i do not believe any of that so it's not something i spend any time pondering. then i was asked if i was Christian. i do not consider myself Christian. my thoughts on Jesus, Buddha, Santa...probably based loosely on real people at one point but altered and re-created over the years.
everything was signs of the impending second coming growing up. it has been for generations for many of these folks and yet...no second coming. horrible things have happened over the 2000+ years since Jesus died and still no return. things much worse than thunder storm.
i guess for some it's shocking that others do not spend time in their lives fretting over the next life or eternity. hell sometimes, it's tough enough getting through the day...why would i want to expend energy stressing out over the eternities. i am who i am. i am trying to be a decent human. i am trying not to purposely hurt others. even if there was a God, that God would be a total ass if that God condemned myself and my fellow humans because of all the Gods and religions out there, we were born into or selected the wrong one. oh shucks, you were a good person but you picked the wrong religion and didn't wear the right underwear or learn the secret handshakes.
these same folks would think i was nuts if i still believed Santa Clause was real. if i was still putting cookies and milk out Christmas eve and a carrot for the flying reindeer in hopes that Santa would come. perhaps i still rush out on Christmas morning hoping for a pile of gifts from Santa. for me, Jesus is just like that. a story we were told as kids to shame/force/encourage us to follow the rules/obey/conform.
i do not find it possible that an all knowing, all powerful God would require itself to impregnate a young virgin with some spiritual semen and then require that child of God to be sacrificed to save all of us sinners. what happened to free agency? who knows. forget free agency it's all about blind faith apparently. an all powerful God could simply forgive folks as this God sees fit.
the more you investigate this stuff the more nuts it all is. the further away i am the happier i am that i took a different trek. happy that i'm not feeling increased anxiety and guilt in a panic over eternity.
love this old photo of my bed. i had a lot of stuffed animals. i just have a few of these guys left.
sea star on the move
people just get made convinced by religion that they do not stand a chance without these religions. they are made to believe that anything bad that happens in their lives is because they are disappointing God/the church. anything good that happens is all because of God/church. it really destroys the ego of people. they fear walking away from what they are being told is the only way they can get to heaven and/or be successful. statistics proves this very wrong but emotional manipulation is very powerful.
i heard all the time when i was younger, "even if i found out the church wasn't true i'd stay because it's the best place to raise your kids". they had been made to believe that they were incapable of the job of raising kids without the arm of the church to guide them. thus generations become trapped in the cycle of whatever religion has got a hold of them. i'm not saying there can't ever be any benefits in churches, but the truth is you can raise your kids to be good humans living happy lives without a religion at all.
anyway, strange conversation.
here is the shell of the shed.
the dogs do enjoy the warm weather but they were super excited to run into snow on Powerline.
work tuesday/Wednesday again then i'll figure out what to do on my next stretch off.
there are always options.
been getting good sleep of late. anxiety is much improved. just had to have a mini breakdown i guess. part of healing.
sold the big weed whacker. it was always just too big for me to deal with. may sell the extra mower this next week. it is a bother but always nice getting cash.
the dogs are stained grey from the silt. playing in kettle ponds at Matanuska Glacier is great fun but they do end up grey for a bit.
they get dirty every chance they get. they have enjoyed time at the dog park. they really do not care where we go, they just are happy to get out and play.
Sunny loves to chase and be chased.
thanks KR for this photo below. i took her out on the low tide.
i'll head back to Homer in July for another low tide.
speaking of the dog park...here is sunny in the water below
the killer kitty. in addition to the bird, he has killed a few shrews over the past few weeks.
always enjoy a waterfall. i better crash. stuff to do tomorrow.
thankful for: A. each day on this planet. a fun and beautiful place. B. that i am recovering nicely from the scary virus...C. seeing wild life in wild places.
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