too much on my mind these days...

 

so i will attempt to clear my brain a little and head out may try a little walk followed by the dog pool. that is on the schedule for the day. don't want to wear them out too much.

it will be Ivy's first time since she had surgery. was anxious about her slipping on the wet area around the pool.  so the plan is the worker will go in the pool with Sunny and teach him to swim while i stand on the ramp in the pool so that we limit Ivy's time outside the pool. will probably also help Sunny learn. 

started to pack the bag in prep for that part of the day. gotta get the proof of license papers ready to take as well. should be fun...also hopefully i have a photographer :-) lined up. 

these are from July of last summer. this area was crazy with fireweed at the time i drove through.  Skilak Lake.  of course, for as beautiful as this drive was it ended up costing me well over $1000 so that was a bummer. at the end of the drive i got a flat tire.  got the tire repaired enough to get to Homer, however, i had to buy all new tires for the brand new CR-V because they can't just change one. 

i gave one of the spares away to a co-worker to make into a full spare and i made one into a full spare for myself...that leaves one left.  

the snow of yesterday is nearly melted.  it ended up getting beautiful soon after i finished the blog yesterday so we headed over to Ruths. parking lot there was mildly dicey but we got in and out.  when i arrived there was only one car, the lot was full when i left.  saw a few rocks but not keepers. only left one behind. 

i did take that nap though.  love a good nap and i'm really great at napping. it's a gift. 

just the dog pool on the docket for today. perhaps some more rock painting. easy, chill day. should write my manager and see about dropping one shift every other week. a mini part time thing. would be nice for summer to have one less day of obligation.  in the winter i could pic up an overtime shift in that spot every other week 

work is stressful. it doesn't get easier as we get older. not sure what the worlds future will be at this point. 

the Ukraine war is weighing heavily on me for sure. the things coming out of there. it's like so many on the right...they accuse the left of things that they are the ones doing.  all these conspiracies of child molestation when it is often the dirty old white men in the gop who get caught. the religious right who have affairs on their wives, who pay for abortions for their mistresses but preach a completely different line 

that is putin and russia. they are making claims that it is Ukraine that is nazi...when it's the russians who seem to be doing the torture and killing of civilians. then they claim it's all staged by the Ukrainians when it's not possible. the russians occupied these places for weeks. the bodies have been seen by satellite for weeks. 

there are more and more things coming out.  haven't seen them on mainstream media yet, but it does seem like some of it lags.  truth in a war zone can be difficult to find at times. especially in the occupied areas but there are some coming out of those areas and they have seen things that they will never be able to unsee. 

some of the things i've run across involve kids/teens.  one group has supposedly been sent to hospital in Poland. their parents were killed in front of them with a promise that the kids would be kept alive.  the kids were then raped repeatedly over several weeks...the eldest was apparently only 14...they also had their teeth removed. some of the kids bled to death.  they were told they are alive and should be grateful to the russians for that and to always respect the russian military. 

some murdered men have been put into various Ukraine uniforms to try to hide that crime. the uniforms come from various branches so would not be scattered in one area. 

the numbers moved from Mariupol are anywhere from 30,000 to 160,000+, many of these are children...guessing because their parents were murdered in front of them.  the russians were known to have crematoriums on wheels. it was thought to burn their own soldiers as they don't seem to have any means to deal with them or the injured, which are reported to be killed by their own.   

historically, there is some precedence for that.  they make their front line so miserable it helps to make them resort to the most brutal treatment.  remember that whole ignorance leads to fear which leads to hatred and these emotions can be manipulated. 

one woman who gave birth i think after the maternity hospital was blown up, is supposedly in russia and being used to make propaganda video's about that bombing never happening or being done by Ukraine. what are they doing to her or her child to illicit her compliance. 

peace talks...how can anyone seriously consider any sort of peace talks with a nation who does these things without any sort of remorse or admission at all. personally, i want us to call putins bluff. it's time for russia as it has been to be ended and turned into many smaller and less potent nations. 

is that possible, who knows, but i really do not believe you should be able to invade a neighboring country without provocation and then be able to take over parts of it.  there should be no gain, no win for russia at the end of this. 

these right wing nuts who, of course, blame  Dems and Biden for everything while continuing to hold trump up as some god...he would not be doing better by Ukraine than Biden is.  he was and remains a puppet to putin.  read the transcripts of the second impeachment. he was withholding help to Ukraine in an attempt to gain dirt on his opponent at home.  he was trying to do putins bidding by attempting to get the US out of NATO, putins dream. 

he was in now way on the USA's side in any of this or Ukraines side. they are trying to thread a needle of support for Ukraine and putin at the same time.  it's not possible and yet, somehow they seem to be doing it. 

back in the day when little sunny could walk under my legs.  he's so much taller now!!

various walks with the puppies from February. 

i should put that coat on and see if it even fits anymore.  has he outgrown it? i do have Tusker and Ivy's old life jackets so i think i'll see if either of those fit him for today. 

did get my ballot sent off. how long until Alaska starts doing all the things other states are doing to make voting more difficult. we have some horribly backwards people here. the whole republican party is in free fall at this time.  so crazy with fear and trying to prevent anyone who isn't just like them from having any power or freedom really. 

these little orbs make me hope that Tusker is still with us.  there is this part of me that worries that the vets opted to fake his death and take him to surgery. not sure where that is coming from. this fear that he is out there somewhere living with someone else. it's not really possible. i was with him when they put him to sleep and stayed with him after so i never saw him breathing, i was emotional though. it's still hard to think of him being gone.  they all saw what an amazing dog he was.  his life was far too short.  i miss that boy. 

me out on the trails.  my hair is like this today.  longer hair works for me because i like to change it up, sometimes through the day. 

Cheney Lake again had ice hearts scattered around this Valentines.

both dogs are sleeping again.  when i'm in the office they both just settle in.  this doesn't happen if i'm downstairs. 

out with friends on the beach. 

not sure if that beach is even accessible at this time.  the warming temperatures mean trails that i can access in winter disappear in the summers. 

i see some blue skies out there. nature is the best therapy.  makes me even sadder for those in places like Mariupol as they have been trapped in basements for weeks and all the beauty around them has been bombed to hell. are they in those spaces with dead bodies. have heard of russians just dropping grenades into crawl spaces of homes as they go home to home, looting and killing.  

Sunny enjoys sticks as well as the tennis balls and any other toys he finds or borrows while at the dog park

his cute happy face brings a smile to my face. he's still very snuggly. 

the Tusker blanket adorns the bed. we snuggle into it each night 

out at the dunes.

so many pretty places out there for us to enjoy.  

snowball vs tennis ball...kind of both

a toy he found on the trail. he moved it along.  it was obviously left behind by some other pup

i have no doubt rambled on enough for one day. the news is terrible. i feel obligated to keep up on what hell our fellow human beings are being forced to endure or to perish from...to deny it seems a far worse idea. God? what God? clearly any God that exists out there has little interest in intervening.  if a God doesn't intervene in these types of atrocities how do people find themselves believing that God helps them with their trivial issues.  and yet i still pray as well..hoping there is some higher power that will make things right even as i find myself doubting the truth of that idea more and more with each passing day and each news story. 

well, off to have a snack and perhaps walk the pups. i did get the second walk in yesterday up Patterson.  i must say overall Sunny did great on the leash.  there is hope for being able to have peaceful walks with just a little effort on my part.  

it always feels so great to just walk dogs without them pulling and dragging you. 

thankful for: A. every person that escapes the hell putin has created, i heard the Red Cross after being detained was able to get over 500 out of mariupol. B. that people like putin do eventually die.  C. blue skies and warm days. 

warm day made for a lazy day...

 

not sure why some days are just harder to get motivated than others. it was warm and sunny so that should make me rush outside to pretty places. instead i just wanted to chill. 

these are in Hatchers Pass. always a pretty place to go.  had i been more motivated today perhaps i could have ended up here again. 

lots of yard time with the dogs...and one Covid Cat.

i had an appointment for the CR-V this morning so i headed there to get the trim fixed and drop off one of the tires to be made into a full spare. i also arranged to get new lights in the dash for the Element.  it would be nice to see how fast i'm driving once winter hits and it's all dark.

now that the car is functioning it seemed like a good idea to fix this as it was on my list before the engine went out. 

isn't this little guy cute. 

never made it out for a real walk though.  poor pups. they are so tolerant of me.  i pulled some weeds and put in several of the button things on the stairs.  many more to go.  i may do a bit of stencil work. i like to combine actual work with play work.  gotta keep my art side happy. 

all work and no fun is not something that works very well.  still plugging away at the little piles of things that collect.  need to look at the weather.  should have put some stuff out with the free sign this weekend.  

did chat for awhile with my niece in Texas. always fun...and enlightening.  she is wise.  :-) 

Covid Cat just ran in from outside.  seemed in a bit of a rush.  

watched a runner today.  she fell and was in last and just booked right back to the front of the pack to win.  then i saw her race again and win again.  some people are just crazy fast.  i was never any good at running.  

of course, my early memories of attempting to run in my neighborhood in L.A. are of a guy pulling over to "ask for directions" while jerking off. oh i was so innocent back in those days...and i got flashed more than the average person i'm sure of it.  i recall being in college and we were at McDonalds and a flasher showed up. i knew exactly what was up.  they were all shocked..i was just shocked that they all weren't getting flashed as much as i was. not sure what vibe i put out there that made men flash me, but there it is. 

now i just see naked bodies all the time.  i suppose even if someone flashed me now i'd hardly notice.  perhaps all that flashing was to prepare me for a career as a nurse. 

it is getting darker earlier.  that is how it works.  we start to think about northern lights though.  there is always something to look forward to. 

up north i am hearing that the catapillars we saw at Byers are actually extremely abundant.  if you hike up more you will be "attacked" by them.  if you sit they are on you.  folks are complaining of getting rashes where they touch.  i never touched them thankfully.  there were a few crawling on stuff we left outside, but in higher elevations there were hundreds of them. i guess they tend to have population explosions every so often and these explosions will happen for 2-3 years. so K'suegi Ridge/Curry Ridge may be out for a few years

speaking of bugs, one just dropped down on me.  not sure what it was or where it went. i just looked in the mirror and i do not see it on me at this time. i am not a fan of bugs.  for as many mosquito's we have up here...at least each year the bugs  almost completely disappear for over half of the year.

will be disturbed by the thought of some bug crawling around the rest of the night now.  

back to work tomorrow again.  just far too many idiots out there who will refuse to believe Covid is real to their death. i've heard people deny they have it even when they are symptomatic. the level of stupid that exists is beyond embarrassing.  

who knew people could be so easy to manipulate. it just makes some historical things that seemed impossible more possible sounding. 

guess i foolishly believed with all the information that is out there these days finding the truth would be easy...but for many they refuse to believe anything from anyone who isn't in their same toxic and ridiculous bubble.  those people just have to be loud and scare them...and they will believe anything.  fear is a great motivator for idiocy. when people do not understand stuff, or are overwhelmed they want to have someone and something else to blame...at this point they are willing to buy into whatever crazy notion you push on them just so they can blame someone else. 

bug found and killed!!

i'm not totally convinced that there is only the one bug.

the rocks have been modge podged.  i'm liking to do two layers now so i'll let this one dry. not sure the rock grinder i bought survived the first round...never made it to the end.  it keeps stopping when i try to restart it.  that was quick.  

won't replace it...seemed like a fun little hobby though. 

is there an olympic medal for procrastination?  i'd be a star for sure.

came on to tweak the first paragraph i wrote in the last post.  it seemed to make no sense when i re-read it later. 

it was late at night. 

the Dems are still trying to work with the GOP...seems fairly pointless. wish they could get the filibuster at least tweaked.  sick of nothing getting done.  the GOP is a disaster.  a party of conspiracies and lies and people who are addicted to those conspiracies and lies. 

always love the cotton.  i was reading that you could eat it? not sure i'm willing to try that out.  didn't read what part you would eat in a crisis. hopefully i am never put in a position of having to survive on this plant, though i really do like the look of it out there.

starting to feel like another trek to Nome would be fun one of these days. so many beaches.  love all those big stretches of beaches.  miles and miles of beach combing....empty. 

pretty flowers...

you chase them and then you chase the mushrooms, the fall and then you chase the ice.  that is just how it goes here. blink and it's all changed.

never excited to head to work. i can't say as i was ever really excited to go to work as a nurse but i had made peace with it as a career. covid has really made it more miserable.  the staff do stick together. we try to support each other i think. it's going to get worse for sure because of the misinformation and refusal of so many to deal with the reality of this.  so many will refuse to vaccinate or wear masks or distance. they just move from one conspiracy to another in some sort of strange denial. 

so far the dogs are still safe. was thinking of starting a rumor that all you have to do to avoid covid is pick your nose and eat the snot...just put crazy shit out there and see what people do with it. they would rather take snake oil treatments than treatment plans derived over time for this. they have been convinced to not trust science, doctors, medicine, the cdc, the government at any level, any media that isn't bat shit crazy....they are boxed in. 

there is another segment of the population that isn't political about it all but have chosen to not look at any information at all.  it's going to be a slow painful trudge to herd immunity...if we ever get that. 

when will we need a booster. Israel is already giving a pfizer booster to those over 60 i hear.  at what point will we be offered boosters? that remains to be seen.  

the fall could be awful.  

comfy cat. he can be a bit of a snuggle cat.

these guys do need me to get them out more.  i've been too lazy and it's time to reboot and get myself back to basics. 

3 nights of work then another stretch off.  i live for the off times. work is just more exhausting than it used to be.  back to having to wear the n-95 more of the shift..or just leave it on. 

there is this cutie again.  there were two but the other one booked whereas this guy seemed more curious.

this was a between shift walk in the neighborhood....they are on leashes and harnesses.  they are not fans of the harness.  

it is much easier to walk them harnessed up though. 

this is the remnants of the beaver pond.  that middle green patch was the beaver den and just the green stuck out of the water before.

so this is Gold Mint Trail.  

still some swimable water where the beaver dam broke

and back on the main trail

well, hopefully i made more sense tonight.  i am headed to bed.  

thankful for A.  family and friends who like and accept me. B. people who get vaccinated and believe truth over conspiracies C. that the dogs could care less about any of it and just live each day.