Monday, June 26, 2017

More Round Island

 3 nights of work again in the past.  that is life here.  nice week for sleeping as we got some rainy days.  that always makes it easier.
 yawning walrus
 worked ER, then PICU and then back to ER.  kept busy in both places.  did complete an overdue education thing.  every time i look at that healthstream they've added 10 more education things.  education is a misnomer as i suspect it's rare that most of us actually learn anything on these courses, really it's just to prove to JAHCO over and over that we know the same things.  so you zip through as fast as you can and hospital admin is happy and JAHCO is happy.  such silliness really.
 had to move around for a minute.  i was cleaning out one of my closets tonight.  feels good to get decrapping done. i know that isn't actually a word but it works.  it was after 9 when i finished that little project tonight.  i put a pile outside with a free sign...just looked and all that is left is the least they left the sign this time.
 it is amazing what stuff you drag around with you year after year.  i still had cello instruction books and drum instruction books. those are gone too.  probably the same person snags it all and tries to sell it.  i'm good with that.  more of a hassle to me to try and sell crap.  i figure i got the use out of the stuff and if someone else needs the money and has the ambition to sell it...that can help them out.  my trash is anothers treasure.  that makes me happy.  i had some old ice skates that are still in good shape and some old cramp on's for like ice climbing that i never use.  perhaps those will be good resale items.
 the ice skate like the roller blades i put out a few years my age and my clumsiness probably best if i don't have the temptation to put those on. i'll stick to the kicksled.
 cormorants on their nests.
 anyway, feels good to have the cluttered closet looking a bit more organized.  that was the closet with camping gear.  so i went through that stuff a bit as well.
 met a friend for a walk at the dog park since she was in town from Ketchikan.  great to catch up.  do miss the small town life some days.
 there was a black bear on our hospital campus reported as we were getting ready for shift change. i never saw it.  i did pack my bear spray for our walk in town.  the bears seem to be having a bit of an active year this year.
 two souls lost to black bear attacks last week.  this week there were two brown bear attacks on the same day. one at JBER and one in Hope.  JBER is the base.  i would like to get in some bigger longer hikes this summer.
 we already had solstice, summer flies by so fast.
 walrus spray.  just cruising past.

 below you can clearly see the air sacs blown up.  this is when you will hear them chiming.
 there is a baby walrus out at the SeaLife Center again. it arrived from Nome and the guys who had it climb onto their boat were calling it Nugget. not sure if that will stick...but i'm planning on taking the pups to Seward for the day tomorrow and trying to get a peek at the little guy.  wish i could snuggle with him.
 so yes, we are officially starting to lose daylight again.  boo.
 below you can see the fata morgana mirage on the land across from Round Island.
 me chilling and relaxing on the platform.  i watched the parade of walrus pass by for awhile, reading and watching...
 not tons of walrus on the island this day.  enough to keep me entertained i guess. it looks like the place is pretty packed right now.
 felt a little melancholy this evening.  figured if i dug into the project of cleaning out the closet it would pass. i think it did help.  keeping busy.
 tough to feel disconnected to family sometimes.  can't say i regret the choices i made regarding religion and where i live and all, but there is that divide that can never really be repaired i think.  i understand how they think and see the world because it was how we grew up thinking and seeing the world.  it was what i would have responded had i never made those choices. i did though and my experiences along this road of life have made me see things very differently than i did growing up.
 being a nurse has also had a large impact on how i see things.
 getting ready for bed on Round Island.
 don't really regret that my life growing up was pretty sheltered.  protected.  it was safe, which made growing up a bit easier really.  as a nurse, you can no longer live in any sort of bubble.  the bubble you grew up in bursts and it really does impact you.
 i think living up here has had a huge impact as well.  animals were always a huge interest.  as a teen i went to girls camp and i really grew to love the outdoors and the experience of it all.  in my many experiences in various colleges and universities i met a variety of people and took a variety of courses. these further impacted me.  i studied about different ways of seeing the world and the way i saw the world changed. my personal philosophies changed.
 we are all colored by our experiences.  we all have our bubbles burst in one way or another.  if we don't then what is the point of life on this earth.
 one of those things i struggled with in my youth was how we were taught about free will, but at the same time we were also taught to hold fast to the iron rod.  you have free will but then again you have all these rules that stifle free will kind of.
 i think some people like myself, just don't do well in the confines of such order and we run from it, others find all that order a comfort.
 i think all religions/philosophies have good and bad.  all people have good and bad.  i believe there is good to be learned from all who have come before and from the major religions, but there is also some harsh realities that should be a cautionary tale to us all.
 couldn't sleep since the sunsets were so long and beautiful.  how could i miss a moment of it.
 so again i rested/read and then peeked outside to check the progress of the unfolding sunset
 if there was a creator to all of this amazing world then it seems to me that i should respect that creator by doing my part to protect this. i always think of the diversity.  whoever or whatever gave us this gift...the incredible diversity is a testament to the amount of love that was put into the creation of this place. it only convinces me more that we would be completely disrespecting that creator by not protecting these lands and  these animals.  i know we must do some damage to move forward but the greed that destroys the earth for financial gain with little concern for the outcome, this will not make the creator happy.
 i am no better or more deserving than any one else.  i recall the thinking around me.  people on welfare were seen as lazy and undeserving.  there will always be a few of those people for sure.  the vast majority are not lazy.  it's always good in my mind to try to do what we can to decrease fraud.  good to find ways to help those who are struggling to rise. you see over and over, the poor are treated like crap. the divide and lack of education and other resources of those who are poor ultimately leads to blood shed.
 we weren't better because we weren't on welfare, we just had been given the gift of starting out with a better base.  more support, more opportunities.  we had better parents who were capable of teaching us more of the tools we would need to succeed. we had stability, safety, food, shelter, love.  lets face it.  we were white, we were middle class.  those things already gave us a few steps up...
 i see the people who have not been given much of those things. i see the next generation of kids struggling because they don't have those things and i know that life for them will be more challenging.  teenage girls who are already headed to prostitution or drug abuse or whatever because they have parents and grandparents who are alcoholics/drug addicts...
 society doesn't owe them, society isn't responsible,  people aren't entitled to healthcare, people aren't entitled to education.  maybe so.  we aren't entitled to anything...any of us.  we are just people that are on this planet at the same time, in this same nation and we have to figure out how to survive. we have to figure out what is best for the most poeple...or i guess what is really best for a few people and screw the rest...though i suspect the great religious leaders i have read about and admired would prefer it if we all tried to figure out what was best for the most people...because really, if you can make life as good as possible for the most people you will end up with a more stable society.
 do we have endless sums of money, no we do not...but we do have a lot of money and we'd have more if those who were at the top of the food chain were made to pay a fair tax.  it's about choices.  so far many in those positions of power would rather stay in power and to do that they pander to the wealthiest and those who can afford to keep their attention and keep them elected. the lobbyists...
 unstable people make for an unstable life for all. how do we create a larger percentage of people in our nation who are stable. in truth not everyone wants the money and power.  many/most just want to live their lives.  to raise families and to be able to have their kids find their way to some level of success and security.
 we have too many fathers that are in jail, we have too many drug addicts and alcoholics.  we have far too many who drop out of school, who give up on life.  too many homeless.  to raise up our nation we have to raise up these folks.  we have to help the next generation and the next generation be healthier, more stable and more educated.  that means we need to work towards funding education and health.  we need to not make putting people in jail profitable.  we need to raise up those around us rather than push them down.
 it is what the great religious leaders would want.  not the people who run religions now...the folks who were leaders with a following before the following organized.
 when you study all those you soon find that overall, they all had very similar messages. messages of love and kindness.  patience, tolerance. judge not lest ye be judged.  we can't possibly understand all the struggles that each of us endures in this life, we must just be willing to hold out a hand and offer kindness.
 it is past my bedtime and i want to get up early enough to get to Seward and enjoy the day there.  hope i get some pics of the baby walrus. so cute.

 my struggle is your struggle, my peace is your peace.

 we are all on this planet.  we must find a way to co-exist.  we must rise above those who are angry.  we must not allow ourselves to be sucked in.  we must reach out to those who have less and we must be tolerant.
 if i am seen as an idiot because i care about the planet and i believe we should help the others we share this planet with ....then i guess i'm an idiot.  if i am seen as a fool because i believe if we do allocate funds to make sure those in our society are healthy and educated we will be a more successful society..then i'm a fool. if i am seen as a snowflake, somehow weak, because i want us to raise up those who need to be raised up, then i am a snowflake.
 we, as a society, must decide who we are?  are we going to be a society that allows the poor to get poorer and the rich to get richer?  will we watch some die because they are not entitled to live?  will we watch them fail because they are not entitled to a solid education?  will we allow them to struggle with mental health issues or addiction issues because it's easier to let them disappear or hide in the corners of our cities than to help them..they are not entitled?
grateful for:  A. all the struggles i have not had  B. all the steps up i was gifted makes me feel even more that i am required to give back C.  all that i have been gifted and all that i can give back

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