truth isn't truth and humans are stupid...

 when i was young and learning about history it was very eye opening. these are mushrooms from a walk in the rain in the dog park and in trails around the dog park.  like exploring those right now.  so much to see.  need to head to Girdwood for some mushroom exploring.

 even when i was young it was becoming clear that every cool invention would be analyzed for it's potential to be used against our enemies.  air balloons, planes, space flights...money was given over to these not because of the great science...but instead because that great science may one day be used to kill our enemies. 

 humans rile the world in every way they can.  it's always amazing that so many choose to believe that humans do not have an impact on the warming trends.  we have altered so much of the earth with our fuel requirements and buildings and sidewalks and roads and just sheer numbers.  it seems impossible to believe that humans do not have a huge impact on this earth. 

 entire plant species and animal species wiped out.  gone.  humans don't just take what they need they take all they can so they can hoard it and control things.  this is not just true with oil and gas, it's true with every sort of mined items, diamonds, gold...also with harvesting of trees or any other item.  stockpile these goods so when they become scare as they will because of all the pilfering then you can hold them up as your power 

 humans can't just take one buffalo because they like the tongue, they must try to kill all.  discover whales during exploration in Antarctica, well send people to try and kill every one you can.  elephant tusks, walrus tusks...kill all you can. 

 the walrus numbers are strange.  it would appear that numbers have risen and indeed the numbers have risen, this has more to do with how greatly their numbers were decimated in previous days.  I've seen old photo's of piles of dead walrus stacked on top of each other...and these are animals that weigh up to 2 tons.  so the numbers have grown since these mass killings have decreased.  who knows what they were at originally, how many animals were killed and how much they have recovered from the mass killings.  walrus and no doubt many non-land animals are often difficult to count accurately. 

 it seems to be human nature to take all you can and hoard it all to hold over your enemies.  not sure how we can ever alter this in the future humans.  fear rules so many lives on this earth.  it's been really sad to watch fear take over so many in this nation...leaving them paranoid and often hate filled. blame is a slippery slope to disaster.

 looking at the sad faces of some of those in  Syria awaiting their fate, looking totally spent at losses already suffered and just the total hopelessness in their eyes. why is it so difficult for us to see that they are just like us.  they may have different religions and habits, but families in Syria are like families here.  they have love, they have dreams and hopes.  they want more for their kids than they had themselves.

 it's just easier for those in power to pit us against each other.  since we can't take on our own governments directly (we have more power than some through our elections) but for many all that is left in that frustration is to turn on each other i suppose.

 it's always amazing though as they film people in the worse situations, you will see children smiling and playing.  seemingly unaware of the disaster around them.  Syria is a disaster that we have all failed.  they keep dying and we just look away.

 iitoo propagandist and part time lawyer was on a news show saying "truth isn't truth".  truth is truth.  honesty is honesty.  lies are lies.  it's up to us, the people, to hold those in power to basic standards.  standards that parents teach their children.  this hasn't been done in this administration.  people come up with "alternative facts" and "truth isn't truth" in order to deflect from the unfolding disaster of morals and ethics in the current administration. 

 its never a time to circle the wagons and accept unacceptable behaviour. 

 I've gotten 3 nights done.  i spent the first two in PCU.  nice patient assignment and great co-workers.  last night i was in the ER.  i did the holds.  can't even recall how many admits i went through.  they all seemed fairly sick and had quite a few orders. 

 moved them, put them on hospital beds and was dealing with patients who weren't breathing as well as i prefer.  then the rooms started opening up. you do what you can and move one out, get another in and start all over.  this happens over and over. 

 i know i got testy with one nurse i was giving report to.  so many just have no idea what is going on in the ER and with the hold patients.  they would be going nuts if they had to deal with the assignments we handle down there.  starting with 3-4 admits, transferring out, getting more admits.  for sure got my steps in last night.

 did get done what i needed to.  didn't get everything done that this one nurse expected me to.  i explained, to the raised eyebrows from the Dr beside me, that i had moved three patients across the unit, then moved them into hospital beds and dealt with their orders and their shortness of breath.  she could just give the one med she was asking why i had not given.  i told her i believed the patients breathing status was much more of a priority than the one med.

 maybe she wrote me up...i always joke with my boss that if i ever have a situation where i put my nursing license at risk it won't be in the ICU or PICU it will be doing these holds.  the staff in the ER was supportive though and we all get through it with a little laughter and helping each other.

 was chatting with my sister today about nursing and what we do like about it.  how the job satisfies that need to feel like you are really able to make a difference in the lives of your patients over those 12 hours. many sit in offices and at the end of the day or at the end of their career i suspect some of them wonder what they have actually done, what difference they made going to work day in and day out.  nursing just has that potential in it every day.  to feel satisfied. to feel you really impacted people.

 we are there in peoples worst moments.  how we interact can really impact their outcomes and their future.  as they say, people often do not remember your name, but they always remember your kindness.

 I've been beside people in their worst moments, i have felt their pain as it reverberates through your heart and soul.  often there is little you can do, but be there, steady them. 

 there are better, smarter nurses out there I'm sure than myself. I've met many of them.  nursing becomes a bit of a club. medicine can be.  it's just a life that is hard for others to relate to who have not been there. nice to have those conversations with my sister.  she wasn't in nursing for years but she has done her share of it over the years and she understands which i am grateful for.  I'm also grateful for all my friends who are nurses and the conversations we have over and over to help us cope with what we see and go through so we can better make it through our next shift and our next shift.

 today i wandered around the back trails.  the mushrooms are nice back there.  i took some ski trails i don't usually take, sort of knowing where they go but not exactly. 

 as i got close to where i was thinking i would soon get back to the main dog park i noticed a guy walking behind me. 

 sadly, as a female you have to be aware and concerned about everyone...until proven otherwise. i just don't think most guys really get the constant surveillance that females must participate in.  often I'm hardly aware of all the tactics i have just evolved to use to protect myself.  it's not just bears and moose we must be wary of.  i have no idea if the guy had any ill will intentions but you just never know.  i did speed up my pace.  what was in his bag?  what were his intentions?  what were my options.  this stuff just goes through females heads as we are confronted with situations that for most guys wouldn't even merit a second thought.

 when i saw the main dog park, i felt relief.  he stopped right at the place where the trail opens into the dog park and just stood there as i walked on...then he headed back where we had just walked out of.  was he really just lost or was i no longer a target.

 it does help to have big dogs along with me.

 the rest are from the trek towards Chicken earlier this month.

 the usual sights along the way.  Sheep Mountains and Lions Head.

 of course, had to stop in at the Hub in Glenallen to see if there were any good earrings to buy.

 the flowers are nearly gone...fall is fast approaching.  love fall though.  so amazing.

 looking forward to some time in Denali National Park and hoping we get lucky with weather and fall colors.

 a stop in Gulkana.  I'd never driven into the village.  it's pretty small but always worth a wander.

 you never know what you will find in these places

 buildings mostly old, but still interesting

 often old buildings are just left to crumble and newer stuff is put next to it.

 so not much summer left. not many adventures.  need to request time off for my spring trip with my niece.  need to get the passport renewed.

 need to continue emptying cabinets and clearing the kitchen.  tough to give think of giving up on the dishwasher and sink and stove for a bit...aack!!

 need to pull down cabinets and attempt to get them back up in the garage for storage now and later. could be fun this winter painting those fun garage colors.  maybe flowers...options are endless.

 how much can i do myself.  we shall see.  may have a demo party too.  see if my friends are game to help me take stuff down. 

 saw these three old fire trucks.  i thought they were pretty cool. stopped and took several photos as you can see.

 look how cool they are though

 just sitting here rotting away.

 hope they at least get strutted out for 4th of July parties anyway.

 the bug count should go down a bit anyway.  that is always nice. 

 always thinking of all the stuff that didn't get adventured each summer. you just can't do it all.  some can, i can't i guess.

 i think the pups had fun at the park today.  they got lots of running in as i was looking for mushrooms.

 of course, i always laugh as they seem very good at knocking over mushrooms...usually, the one I'm poised to take a picture of....nope, not that one!

 another little posting on AK hiking page about cairns.  some people really hate them and get great pleasure in knocking them over.

 one compared them to lego's. i just said that unless he was walking on non man made trails he really didn't have much of an argument.  the man made trails damage nature. I'm all for them  because it at least directs humans to just damage in a certain area.  it's just funny that he sees some great distraction in his nature experience due to cairns but not due to man made trails.  posted a picture of a memorial cairn i made and of Blossom.  he may as well see who he may be kicking when he feels the need to topple the cairns.  some comment that people create cairns as an extension of their own ego's.  i don't see the tiny cairns i make as some how making me remembered for all time, i know they will be felled, usually by nature. 

 this current administration is an abomination against all things environment...perhaps this feeling of lack of control has made people direct their powerlessness towards things they feel they can control.  the cairns, the straw issues and plastic bags. I'm all about doing what i can but i also see the futility of the big battle for banning straws when there is an administration opening up all the waters to drilling and corporations are given a pass to pollute...i could go on but i think you get the point. 

 still i use my reusable bags and try to avoid using straws. perhaps i feel that same angst and need to do what i can despite it feeling pointless at times.

 always remember the woman from work who told me she didn't believe in recycling when i asked her not to toss my can, that i was planning on taking it to the recycle bin.  I'm sure the look i gave her was one of disbelief.  i just said, "recycling is not a religion, it's not something you believe in or don't believe in, it's something you do or don't do". 

 the world is full of freaks and stupid folks and i may be one of them and not know it.  probably more freak than stupid in my case though I'd guess.

 for sure a misfit.  one of these things just ain't like the others.  i know I'm not.  probably get more and more bizarre as the years pass.  i fit in with the dogs.  i do well on my own.  i try not to bother the other humans.  we are all lucky if we find a handful of folks who see us for who we are and still don't mind being around us sometimes.  quirky and independent...that is me, but thankfully that is many Alaskans too...it's where we end up

 guess i better head to bed.  it's getting late.  liked the pups on the fire truck...they were not as keen to both hop up together as I'd hoped. they do pretty good though.

thankful for: A.  friends and family who like me even though I'm quirky, strange and some times nuts B.  dogs, the most accepting friend a girl can have  C.  each night i do no harm at work.  it gets crazy...