getting the day started....

 

after working night shift for several days it's often difficult to flip back to days. up til after 3 am last night.  slept a lot yesterday...needed it i guess.  some days it's like that. 

i was also sucked into another good book.  love getting on that run of books that suck you in. last nights book was "the girls with no names", by Serena Burdick.  the author had learned of these Christian run centers for women/girls who needed reforming.  supposedly hookers but any girl could be placed there if their family or society deemed them a problem.  many of these places made loads of cash working these mostly young women to the bone doing laundry or other menial labors. 

so she wrote a novel that incorporated this into the story. 

many died in these religious institutions for destitute women.  she wrote in the post novel that there were at least 25 of these in the United States. girls of all ages were placed here if deemed immoral.  what immoral was pretty subjective.  the one she based it on was called the "house of mercy". it was in New York. the time was the early 1900's. 

the book i read right before that was "broken little things" by Nicole Baart. a little girl is caught up in the middle of scandal. part mystery, part sad tale of the choices people make. 

we are all broken in some way.  it's easy to take personally the broken behaviour of others.  often you are just the recipient of their brokenness. 

when you are hurt by others it's good to try and not take it personally, it's usually their crap that has just been washed onto you.  we all live these secret lives.  we don't want anyone to know our truths so we hold things in and those things tend to come out no matter how hard people try to keep them.  they come out usually in events or moments that seemingly have zero relationship to the hurt inside of us. 

the bag has finally been put up.  no more trips planned at the moment.  the darkness is falling and it's time to cabin up and ride out the winter.

i'll head out for a walk with the pups soon.  with my stretch of work i had figured i'd avoid walking the dogs and see if not moving helped Ivy....seems to me at this moment that she does better moving so we will head out for a walk in a bit here. i have her knee support in my pack if she seems to need it. 

want to delay any big dog surgery expenditure until after this election and results. things just seem so crazy and there are radicals on the right who are actually prepping for civil war.  i don't think they will successfully start that civil war but they call themselves militias...they are really nothing more than domestic terrorists and i wish we would just call them that and begin to shame them for their behaviour.  sadly shame is a lost  emotion these days.  shame keeps people in check.  there doesn't seem to be any half way about it.  either people have so much shame they are stunted in any and all behaviour or they have zero shame at all. 

i finished my week of work. this week i worked ICU, ER and then RCU.  that is Renal Care. i work there a few times a year it seems. that place tends to be busy for the first few hours and then settles in a bit.  nobody pees, many are missing legs and everyone has a lot of evening medications and blood sugar checks.  renal patients can tolerate low blood pressures...their bodies have adapted to wild variations in electrolytes, blood pressures....

ER always has it's moments of Covid exposure.  the Med-Surg unit on 4th seems to be getting the bulk of the Covid cases.....they are often the forgotten heroes out there i think.  the ICU and ER get the bulk of attention for their work with these patients but 4th floor has a large population, especially as many are getting less ill with this but still ill enough to be hospitalized.  their work helps keep the ICU caseload lower.  so kuddo's to the nurses on the 4th floor, included the many from float pool that spend many shifts up there. 

we've only had 1-2 vents this week at any given time that are covid...a good sign.  the Alaska death toll is 70+ at the moment.  

the valley with its many covid deniers are starting to have bumps in their numbers. not sure if they will change their tune and start masking up.  so many are so far gone on the covid stuff.  trump has proclaimed victory...saying repeatedly it's over, behind us. he's waved the white flag which is funny as earlier in the pandemic he was all "we are at war, i'm a war time President"...instead of going to battle though he cowered in the corner hoping the enemy would just forget we existed. 

such a coward really. he whines that the media is mean to him and his followers try to defend and protect him.....shouldn't a President of the worlds most powerful nation have a bit more of a spine? why do his followers feel the need to protect him like he is a child? it actually makes him appear weaker, as he is incapable of fighting his own battles.  he needs to be coddled and protected.  

while it is great that this pandemic hasn't really impacted children, the fact that it doesn't impact children makes it more difficult to fight.  in the days of polio the entire nation was on board in the fight and the prevention of spread.  nobody likes to see children die or become disabled but apparently, watching elderly and adults with pre-existing conditions is much easier for many in our society to tolerate.  

the attitude is that they are expendable or that they deserve to get sick and/or die. such compassion. 

so many just have to look the other way at so much to continue to support this pos.  it's a choice....they have made a choice.  many have once again marked the circle next to his name.  they are accountable for that choice.  even more so after the last 4 years.  there are 545 children who were ripped from their parents arms that may never see their parents again because this administration decided this was a good idea...that it would deter others from trying to seek asylum in our nation.  that alone should cause shame in any who support him, but instead they continue to make excuses and blame others.  

i wonder if one day they will wake up and start to see the truth of what has been going on in this administration that they have been kept from knowing because of the places they choose to get their information from. will they be shocked or will they just continue to believe it's all a smear campaign.  

i think much of that depends on the results of this election and what trump does after.  he hates to lose or be seen as losing.  will he just disappear if he loses, take off some place? will he carry on like he actually won and that there was fraud? will he continue to tweet and hold rallies for months/years to come? will he defect to another country? he doesn't seem capable of stepping down with grace, he has no grace.  he has no class. 

it has been fun to see Obama out on the campaign trail. he's finally speaking out.  for these past years he has been pretty much silent.  now he's like a comedian, enjoying getting the jabs in on trump.  as he lives in trumps head this is a thing of beauty.  trump has hated him for years....jealousy. so obvious and so pathetic.  so easy to manipulate. 

ignorance leads to fear, fear leads to hate...hate is easy to manipulate.  that is where we are and where we have been for years.  not sure how we move forward.  how did Germany move forward after Hitler...?  how do you deprogram such a large chunk of the population? 

better get a few things accomplished today.  my mailbox has been stuck. need to pick up some lock stuff and see if that helps.  my key isn't working.  i do want my mail!!

my cards and calendars have already arrived.  i think i could sell a few calendars so i may order another batch just for sale. not that i'll make any money as they cost pretty much what i'm selling them for, but still fun. 

the leaves are all gone, this is the last of the iphone shots from September.  it's time for ice and snow. 

Covid Cat has been inside more and more.  his collar was off yesterday i was outside searching for it but found it in the office. 

happy to have him inside more.  

we all are.  he's for sure made his mark in the house. i just realized it's Halloween today!! eek.  i better get moving.  

not sure if there will be any trick or treaters but i do want to get ready for distance candy delivery.  figure i'll put up a ramp using one of the rain gutters i put up for the cat.  i can send a candy bar down that into the waiting open bag for candy.  

all i was thinking this morning was i had to pay bills..now i'm all it's Halloween.  

now i must get cracking. 

did have a bit of an exposure in ER the other day.  thankfully i was wearing the mask and shield. i was working as hold nurse all night. after midnight they called in another resource nurse to do holds with me. 

as it turns out they gave her report on a patient that wasn't a hold patient yet but was still an ER patient.  not ok really. i didn't find that out til later.  the charge was all, we may have to switch one of your patients and have you take the ER one.  i was annoyed though and just said no, take her up front.  then, as it turns out, she was covid +. 

i was annoyed as well because she'd had a covid isolation sign on her door and the ER nurse had needed me to check blood. i specifically asked about the sign and she said, "no, she's not really a risk" the Dr has also said she wasn't a risk as he didn't want her CT to be delayed.  so she was taken off the precautions to get the CT. 

so no...i made them transfer her up.  they can't give Float nurses not trained to ER their patients, even if they think they will be admitted because float nurses take specific acuity patients.  that is determined after a patient is to be admitted.

had to take a hit of the inhaler.  hate that feeling after, all jittery.  

breathing better. i've had a cough these past several weeks.  change of season. no fevers or other symptoms.  just my usual.  so i have hit the inhalers a bit more and taken some cough medicine. i'm prone to post cough emesis, which is super annoying. 

above is the bog by my house, below is sunrise on the drive home from work. 

this is bog as well. 

not sure where to walk today.  was thinking of heading to powerline .  

these are at Cheney Lake, another walk near my house.  it's within walking distance.  

haven't done much street walking with this pair. if she has knee surgery i will have to though for a bit. 

these leaves kept attaching to my shoes. 

it's time for ice bugs....which are shoes with cleats built in.  

may toss in some xtratuffs to switch to for errands after. 

thankful for A.  the nurses on 4th for all they do for the covid patients, may need to get them some goodies  B.  good books to escape into  C. my little liberal crew in the family...i love that we are all on a group text now!!  :-)  

hopefully folks aren't sick of these fall photo's...

 

they do make me smile. 

we are currently raining which may change to snow.  hope so...much preferred over it turning to a sheet of ice by morning. 

the forecast in snow.  

i never made it out of my pajama's today.   i have my stretch of work, which is broken up by two days off.  i had made a sort of plan to use it to force a rest for Ivy.  she was a bit sore after the Homer trek so figured i better actually rest her.  that means Tusker and I have to rest as well. hard to fathom leaving her at home while we go out. we have done multiple tennis ball chasing periods in the yard so none of us are really inactive. 

i did get the calendar made before i headed back to work along with my Christmas cards. so that was good. hopefully they all turn out fine.  keep up the tradition for now anyway. maybe covid will bring holiday cards back....support the USPS...do cards this year.  do we know where anyone lives anymore? 

our covid tests are going up dramatically.  500+ positive today, 300+ positive yesterday.  not good. there is only the bad way through.  we live with a bunch of fools who believe that their rights are being infringed upon if they are asked to wear a mask.  they feel they are free to choose...a courtesy they do not allow for others since they seem to insist that everyone follow the rules of their religions.  

women should not be free to choose what to do with their bodies, gays should not be free to choose to marry those they love. gays should not be free to adopt.  they are free to tell others how to live but refuse to do anything for others...so christian of them.   a mask seems a pretty small ask. but they want their freedom to choose.  

so many fools believe it's all overblown, fake and apparently not enough are dying to make it worth their while to help their fellow citizens...i've never been able to get one to tell me how many of their fellow citizens must die in order for it to be deemed enough for them to mask up.  they just keep changing the goal posts as it were.  so the answer is there is no amount of death that will cause them to protect anyone.  even if they show up symptomatic and are positive for Covid they still can't be bothered to mask up.  i mean it's a hoax, right?  they can't possible have it....we joked last night just tell them they have the hoax instead of saying covid.  here, wear your mask. 

my hospital apparently has decided that all patients must wear a mask at all times when staff are in room. they aren't, they won't and quite frankly, i don't think any of us want to attempt to enforce that silly plan.  really we go in and out of their rooms all night, we need to have them do as we ask as much as possible and now management thinks we should get into mask battles repeatedly....i wear my mask and my shield....we have enough risk from patients who become angry and violent at the things we already ask them to do. 

i did two nights in PCU and my last night in the cardiovascular ICU. it wasn't a bad week really.  

with the high covid counts the ER does have a lot more Covid going through it i hear...the hospitalization count does not include all the folks who feel crappy and come to ER, urgent cares and have zooms with their physicians.  so the it's no big deal folks don't see or comprehend that. the ones that are hospitalized are a small fraction of the many who become ill.  there is still much we don't know about long term impacts...like clots forming later as this has a vascular component. 

the "just let it ride out" everyone just get covid crowd have not bothered to do the math on it...that whole herd immunity thing....which i call herd stupidity....well 70% of your population has to get the disease...or be vaccinated.  we don't have a vaccine at this moment, though there are trials going on...but distributing those vaccines will take time. will they be free to all, will people even get them? we have a huge anti vaccine population.  

there is some doubt that herd immunity would even be possible with this virus...how long do folks have immunity after having covid...weeks, months...lifetime? it doesn't seem like it will be lifetime. 

at Covids peak in New York earlier it was still less than 15% of their population that had covid...at less than 15% the cities hospitals were overwhelmed and the death % rose as the hospitals became overwhelmed...that is what happens.  i do not want to be around to see 70% of the US population have covid.  

the US population is approximately 329 million...so 70% of that is approximately 230million...yes, many will not need to be hospitalized but even is a small fraction of 230 million need to be hospitalized that is a crap ton of folks.  also with a mortality rate of around 2.0, give or take that is a lot of dead folks.  people who want to ignore the virus and it's potential negative impact do not want to be bothered with facts and math.  again if 70% of population gets sick, hospitals will be overwhelmed, staff will become sick and so hospitals get overwhelmed more, supplies run low, people to handle the basics of day to day life go out sick, even if they don't all die...well, it's an ugly scene.

many Christians seem to have a bring on the second coming attitude.  they egotistically believe that their attendance at church services will cause them to rise above the rest of us so they will watch all liberals burn in hell and they will come out unscathed somehow.  i'm not so sure they should be so overly confident.  i have read the scriptures and Jesus seemed to feel pretty strongly about helping thy neighbor and doing unto others....wah...i won't wear a mask so you don't get sick attitude would probably not play too well on the going to heaven plan. 

not that i am God...but i'm guessing Jesus would just wear the mask.  Jesus would probably want everyone to have healthcare and access to care but what do i know.  

as i say my little prayer going to work the other day i found myself having a few things to say to God.  what use are my little prayers when entire groups of humans in the past no doubt prayed fervently as their lives were being taken far too early in horrible situations...God didn't intervene.  what hope have I got when thousands of Jews were marched off to horrific deaths, when there are mass killings that happen periodically all over without a peep from God to stop it. does God listen to our prayers? does God ever intervene?  we tell ourselves yes, but i don't believe for a moment that those Jews in the camps weren't praying fervently for some sort of help.  

humans often are blinded to what the big picture is.  i'm sure there were Jews in Germany early on who supported much of what Hitler did and said.  people often vote against themselves, they just don't have a clear picture of what is happening or what could happen.

i'm ready for the election day to come and go.  just figure out what mayhem is next.  i don't expect there to be a peaceful transition.  i hope and i do pray that trump and his surrogates are not given another 4 years...or that they don't try to take another 4 years.  it's felt like a slow coup in many ways. so many things were thought were hard stops and guardrails were really just norms and suggestions.  things that over the years decent Presidents just abided by.  all it took was an indecent person to get into office. 

he cares not about norms or rules or laws...he just pushes past them in his quest to create chaos.  

so there is a moose kill out near where i walk. the other day i took a path the opposite direction of where the kill is...luckily as some folks were charged by the grizzly that came from the other side of the same park.  a different entrance. the bears are not asleep yet, they are still trying to fill up in preparation for the long sleep. hyperphagia is what it's called. the bears can become pretty cranky. often the older ones or weaker ones will be more desperate.  

there have apparently been threatening emails sent out to Democrat voters in Alaska and Florida...not sure if other places.  the emails says it's from the Proud Boys...white supremacy group and they know your email and home address and if you don't vote for trump you will regret it.  it's said to have come from Iran....the surrogates around trump acted like this was an act to support Biden somehow?  all they have to do is say it...the followers will believe it at this point.  they will not look for truth or facts. they only trust the limited sources they will allow themselves to believe. so even if things are non-sensical...they will just believe it. 

Guiliani appears to have been being used to spread misinformation by Russians.  they just suck up the misinformation...trusting no one that isn't 100% protrump. 

the last debate occurred. i missed much of it.  looked like another show of trump lying and deflecting.  he never answers any questions just turns and spits out lies and conspiracies.  it's crazy.  

RBG will be replaced by a religious nut i guess...so now we do what they had done for years and continue to do....wait for conservative judges to die. you can only control very little really.  i guess we shall see what damage happens before death happens. not everyone lives as long as RBG...really few do. with conservatives being anti mask, covid non-believers...well, we shall see. 

trump continues to use the nations justice department to attempt to go after his enemies...he has many enemies...anyone who doesn't think he is the greatest person who ever lived apparently is his enemy.  he needs and insists on others bowing down before him.  Barr seems more than willing to do his bidding, like so many others have done before him. 

what madness may ensue after the election? will results be believed? will trump defect to Russia if he loses? will his many crazy armed followers take to the streets? will trump turn it over to Pence and have pence pardon him...though i kind of suspect his ego will not allow this as i don't he'll ever admit defeat even if it's a landslide.  i can totally see him taking off out of the country and leaving a huge legal mess for his surrogates to attempt to clear up. as much as i'd like him to be held responsible and accountable for all that he has done...i know that life doesn't work that way...as i said, God is not really all that involved in the happenings on earth.  bad people seem to get away with horrible things while seeming to continue to live the good life they do not deserve. 

the rest of us schmucks struggle to get by. 

Yukon-Kushkokwim delta region is dealing with a bad outbreak of covid. that is the area around Bethel.  i'm guessing the Native Hospital is getting the bulk of those transports, but when they run out of room, we will get them if needed. cooler weather, more folks in close quarters...some places are even lacking in basic plumbing that we all take for granted. 

the Matanuska Valley is having an increase in number as well. part of me is kind of good with this as for months many out there have been all we don't wear masks, we don't have covid, anchorage lives in fear, stop testing attitude...so it's actually nice to see them have a rise in cases.  perhaps they will have a come to covid moment...doubtful though. 

i do think, at least at the moment, that we are getting better at having a plan to care for the sick covid patients and/or the virus is becoming a bit less horrific. as i said, if we allow it to run wild we will again have higher death rates...not that i am at all accepting the still high daily deaths in our nation. 

so a woman was sworn in as our new acting mayor....as berkowitz disappears in a cloud of embarrassment. a lesbian at that.....gotta love that...!!  that should rattle the conservative crowds.  i really do not know much about her views or activities.  hopefully she continues to listen to science as Berkowitz did in relation to covid and that she doesn't have strange naked pictures posted out there. she is Independent, like myself, leaning progressive.  i'm good with her i think. 

a boat with 7 on board remains missing out of Quinhagak.  this time of year that is especially dangerous. not a big boat...just a 22 foot aluminum boat with one outboard motor. they left Oct 17th and have not been seen or heard from since. 

they have closed the trail for a few weeks around that moose kill...allow the bear to eat in peace for a few weeks anyway. 

a poll worker in Palmer tested positive for covid...signs of the times. Anchorage School district reports over 30 active covid cases, API has 4 positive cases....mental health patients with covid can be tricky. the same with addiction folks who test positive. not always the best at following the mandates.

as i've said, many will forever refuse to take covid seriously...i decided to day that many of the most trumpy folks would stand by a trash fire with a bucket of water but not believe it was worthy of action until the entire house was engulfed in flames. even then, if trump said the house wasn't really on fire or the house fire didn't need the water, they may just keep standing there holding that bucket of water. 

just so crazy to see people who have so given over their common sense to such a fool. 

i hold little hope that our local GOP fools will be voted out.  one can hope...but once they get in...they don't have to worry much in this state.

i would much prefer to see more independent thinkers get into those offices.  

loved these colors!!

it's all brown right now. 

Ivy and Miss Breezy have been snuggled up sleeping behind me here. so adorable. i think she has enjoyed the rest.  hopefully, her leg feels a bit better after a few days rest.  we do have the walk tomorrow.  we shall see how the weather is by morning.

currently it's not raining or snowing...just hope it's not a sheet of ice in the morning. 

545 kids still have never been reunited with their families.  trump had no decent response to that. he just said the "cages" the kids were kept in were built during the Obama administration...even if true they were not built to house kids wrenched from their parents arms.  he also went on to say that the kids are being very well taken care of...that is hollow when you may possibly never see your parents again.  he said all of these kids were not brought here by their parents at all but were kids brought by coyote's in order to use them to seek asylum. lies upon lies....

it's distressing that our nation could be capable of such horrific acts such as this...this was invented by racist Stephen Miller i believe in order to be a deterrent for others thinking of coming to our borders to seek asylum...trumps cabinet signed off on it.  taking children away from their parents with no plan to make sure those kids get reunited as a deterrent...sick jerks. 

another night off then back for my three more...then Halloween i guess.  may remove one of the rain gutters from the yard and use it to slide candy down to kids....distance but fun still...

i have a cost-co box of full sized hershey bars for those braving the weather and virus risks i guess.  it actually seems a safer deal than indoor gatherings.  the trunk or treat may be okay at outdoor venues...haven't really heard what people are doing for halloween yet.  seems like decorating has been popular

off to bed...thankful for A. half my stretch being over B.  nights not in covid land C. the sweetest critters around to entertain and support me.