being brave...

 

as a singleton i am often referred to as brave. i am in many ways, but bravery to do things alone when you are alone is more necessity over bravery.  still i do realize that for many being alone does stop them from doing things and believe me, it can stop me as well. 

we are never free to do all that we desire no matter our circumstances. life can alter plans. if you have young children it will restrict you, but those who are brave move through the fear of what if's in this world and just go for it.  

i do feel like covid had the sad impact of making us hesitant. i know for myself. i stopped being as brave as i had been. held back, second guessed. 

to be honest, some of that was happening before covid though. i think up here the more bears/moose you encounter the easier it is to start to question/second guess things.  

when i lived in Ketchikan and in my earlier days here i was all over the place. i hiked pretty much without fear. now i worry about the wildlife, worry about the knee, worry about my fitness level. these things become excuses. 

i want to be more brave.  i can and for years have, asked for people to join me on walks but if you depend on that to do things as a singleton you will sit at home a lot. 

especially as a singleton who is introverted by nature and has some social anxiety. 

walked powerline alone yesterday. i was anxious about the bears.  the brush has grown up more and makes it more risky for sure. the local trails are mostly fairly well traveled but in this place bears and a bear attack are always a risk.  so you just have to balance the anxiety of the risk with the richness of the life experience. 

in the end it's more important and fulfilling to live a rich life. 

things are changing for the bad here in this country. as they used to say it's going to hell in a handbasket. i have no idea what that even means but it is going downhill more rapidly than any of us ever thought possible. guns have more rights than citizens. the supremely political court has granted rights to the government and to guns and taken away rights for the citizens and women especially though. how is that possible? 

this is what happens when the center becomes disillusioned and the extremes gain the power. the extremes are more willing to take action and therefore their extreme views, no matter how crazy, become laws. 

all hope is not lost of course, but in the moment it feels pretty hopeless. 

hate and conspiracy crack addicts are winning the day. i can only hope that one day soon love and common sense will regain traction. for now, too many have been sucked into some vortex of religious right insanity. i've seen it coming for years but hoped sanity would enter the scene.  decades ago i watched the documentary "jesus camp" and it was clear that this was a strong message of the times to come. we had all seen how islam got bastardized by those who wanted for their extreme views to rule the land. they initially got the support of all of islam, pretending to all be on the same side with the same goals. when the extremists did gain the power, they quickly turned on sensible islamists. suddenly , they were not extreme enough and needed to be purged of their moderate views. 

the same is happening with Christianity here. the extreme evangelicals have cozied up with more rational Christians in the same battle...eventually, those who are sensible at their core will be deemed to liberal. how many will die in the coming years over this battle by extremists to make over our nation as one of theocracy. 

the supreme court is no longer on the side of democracy. they have abandoned the ideals in their own personal quests.  it is party over country.  i could get killed by a bear but it could just be i am ended by a band of extremist evangelicals

how far do we fall and for how long. the middle east was way ahead of the US in the day but they were taken hostage by extremists and have yet to recover. 

the supreme court ruled against the people several times over these past weeks.  roe vs wade, guns and also in giving the government power over 100 miles of all our borders to basically do anything. no privacy, no control. the right wants control over the liberals. they want to own the liberals. they say it all the time. 

the world order will be shaken to it's core.  what will be left on the other side is any ones guess really. 

eat, drink and be merry, right?

so i will have to be brave more in the future than i have been in the past. 

we can only hope for things to get better and live our own lives as full as we can before more rights are systematically discarded. 

in the worst places on earth, where horrible things are happening...people find a way to live their simple lives, to steal some happiness no matter what hell is being thrust upon them. 

will the religious right wake up one day to realize the beast they have released or will they just revel in the joy of making life for liberals more difficult. people will still get abortions and those states that do not allow it will soon have more mouths to feed. mouths to feed that they have proven no desire in the past to feed. the truth is the whole abortion fight was better said than done for the right 

they got people out to vote to protect these unborn, will they keep coming out to vote now that the right has succeeded? will those states find themselves the victims of their own stupidity. the same states that fought for bans on abortions are the ones that depend on the federal government to step in constantly to help them as they are incapable of taking care of the people they already have.  the liberal leaning states fund the conservative leaning states. the states rights, no big government folks are more dependent on the feds and big government than they realize. 

be careful what you ask for...or demand in this case. 

we can vote and all that but in the end we are all pawns in this life. 

we still have it better than many others on this globe but worse than others...today we slipped a bit further down the list. 

so today. the plan is Rabbit Lake. i have a stretch off. not totally clear what i will do with it all. part of me is happy to avoid too much travel...gas prices are pretty high.  there is lots right around here that is beautiful. may be good to stick to some local walks and adventures.

i do want to look at a possibility of a long weekend in Yakutat. just to check it out. 

solstice has happened. the days will start to get shorter. winter will return, darkness will return. 

i do love the drama of this place. 

i worked PCU and then ER.  felt odd to only have 2 days this week but it also felt great. the paycheck may not feel too great though. we shall see. 

there was a fire in the woods locally yesterday.  so the smoke was fairly thick on my walk. when i was at the dog park the other day we had just missed running into a black bear and cub. there are baby everythings everywhere.  loads of flowers, so pretty. 

hoping i get my walk in and possibly get in that boat today as well. 

i also should get an estimate for the tile this stretch off. 

maybe do some rock painting. 

Sunny Boy has eaten a few reading glasses this week and silly me left my sandals out...so those have some bites out of them. puppies.  he's a bit late to the chewing stage it seems. 

i better get moving.  go be brave....

thankful for A. the moments i am brave B. the decisions i made that were brave and have brought me to this life i am living C. those who are brave who were great examples to me.