all is well...

 

that is a Mormon phrase. i think it's a hymn. i used to add, "under the bed" to the end of the hymn titles. this is one way i occupied my time in church as a youth. 

safe flights.  took my xanax before each leg and managed okay as far as the anxiety goes. i'm really not a fan of flying. 

the day i was to leave Ivy was minimally weight bearing on her non-surgical leg. a rest from me would be helpful.  MT was too kind and took Sunny Boy while i was away. he got to romp with her two pups and Ivy got to rest her leg. still a bit sore but hopefully with medication we can get her back to herself for now. Many thanks to MT, i am very grateful.

i must have dozed off a bit of the plane as the flight seemed shorter than usual. SLC airport has a very long walk.  the signs said it would take about 7 minutes to walk it. kept thinking there may be Hari Krishna's like the old days at LAX. 

i got settled into the cabin and then we were off to this underground crater to swim. it was a fun activity for a large group like ours.  all ages could participate. it was only for an hour which was plenty of time really. the folks that run it were very nice and let our group basically take over the whole place for that hour. 

Claire and i were going to just grab food from in town and return but the place said they could seat us right away.  we parked the car, a few blocks away as it was packed and we had a seat when we returned. good to sit and eat and relax. as we went to leave the very hot Utah weather had changed to Utah downpour and hail.  we got totally saturated on our walk/run to the rental car. trying to find it after minimal sleep and with hail pelting us was not easy.

we got back in time to do a quick change and then head over for family photos....it's all kind of a blur so i may be wrong.  we had stopped at a shop after we ate as well. i grabbed a bunch of bubbles.  who doesn't need bubbles when there are so many kids involved.

i was supposed to help MC the little talent show. i think they got that i wasn't all that enthusiastic for that much time in the limelight. i let my brother TP take the lead and i mostly just danced around between acts and tossed bubbles around. 

my family is large so it was a bit stressful and overwhelming for this introvert to be suddenly surrounded by people. some i know better than others. some i've never met, some i have met but it was years ago or i just haven't seen them for years. 

my sisters one grand daughter was excited to meet me.  she turned out to be very shy.  she did perform and does have a lovely voice...she looked up at the crowd towards the end of her performance.  i would have never been that brave at her age..or really at this age even.  stage fright big time. 

it was a bit of a whirlwind of small conversations and some awkwardness. 

between flights/airports and a ton of people i'll be lucky if i do not get sick.  so far i'm totally fine though. 

my one brother that i have had issues with i just kept my distance from.  no need to be rude, i just stayed apart from him.  the last night he did finally ask to speak and did apologize.  mostly for the tone and language but i was open to any sort of apology really.  you do have to stand your ground though and not allow people to treat you in such a manner. i'm sure others probably saw me as being stubborn and dramatic. it was most likely expected that i should shut up and let it go....very much like when i was a young woman and was molested while i slept as i was house/kid sitting. i am a different person now.  i am not perfect but i do have enough self respect to put my foot down and demand to be treated with a certain amount of respect. he started to say that maybe another time we could talk about why he behaved how he did and i just said or we could just not do that. 

i never saw him again after that as he had left before i woke the next morning. 

that night in my cabin was myself, LP CP. we were joined very soon by SH. we heard a knock at the door.  it turned out to be my sister.  she joined us for a bit, which was cool.   next a knock on another door and CS joined us.  we were having a late night party...!!  eventually my BIL also popped over.  we all chatted and laughed til late. everyone left but the 3 staying in the cabin.  

then my phone rang and my brother JP was wandering around looking for our cabin.  so i found him and he joined us until about 2 am. so overall, a very fun day.  it's tough to find time to have real conversations but we did manage a few with some folks. 

the next day many went on a train outing.  a small group of us opted to head out for a walk. it was hot, hot, hot again.  the place is dry. cactus are out and so beautiful. nice to be in a totally different kind of scenery for a few days. so my sister and I and one of her grand daughters plus CB and KPR also joined us. 

mostly just chilling later that afternoon and chit chatting. then we had a bbq and history and games. 

did find we have a couple back in the history that were strange looking at least.  the man looked like a serial killer and the woman...well, she did not look female at all. gotta be careful when you look into your family history. you never know what you will find. 

i played nertz til fairly late. it was a revolving game, different players.  CS was the main planner of the event...thank you CS and she is also a very excellent nertz player.  she took most of the games. i did get a few wins though.  that was fun.  

returned to the cabin and CB and i chatted into the night. 

the next day everyone was packing to leave.  lots of hugs and good byes.  i opted to head to town for a little breakfast.  then my sister and her husband found me and i followed them back to their place in Springville

stayed another day with them before heading home again. so a very quick trip. 

once we hit the main communities driving back we drove past byu campus as well as a temple and dozens and dozens of ward buildings. as it was Sunday there was also loads of people dressed in their Sunday best walking to/from church services. it felt a bit creepy and my anxiety increased just being so immersed in this culture again. i wouldn't have thought anything of it when i was a teen but now after all these years.  it felt very strange.

didn't see any other churches. 

it's a very homogenous culture. several blocks of people all attend one ward so they know nearly everyone around them. 

it was a holiday...Pioneer Day.  a Utah only holiday. it commemorates Brigham Youngs arrival to Utah with the first group of mormon pioneers after they were forced to leave Nauvoo. joseph smith had been charged multiple times for crimes over his life it seems. misdemeanors for disorderly conduct as early as age 20. for a time he used a stone to divine the whereabouts of lost items or treasures/gold. 

in Ohio he faced charges for multiple things including illegal banking and banking fraud. at this time he fled to Missouri. in their absence he and sidney rigdon were found guilty for this charge. he seemed to constantly be at odds with the law. he had followers at this point who managed to bail him out. in 1837 he was accused of conspiring to murder. these charges were dismissed but soon he was back for banking fraud. in Missouri he was back in trouble with charges of threatening a public official and treason. he fled to illinois. smith led an armed group of over a hundred to surround a justice of the peace's home. smith was eventually picked up for this but released on bond. there was a "Mormon war"? and after this Smith was surrendered to authorities and arrested/imprisoned in Liberty Missouri.

in 1839 smith was indicted by a grand jury on the charge of treason. smith and several with his got assistance it sounds like and escaped. back to Illinois. Missouri kept trying to get him back to face the charges of treason and conspiracy to commit murder. in Illinois he also ended up charged with incitement of a riot and treason. it was Governor Boggs he had threatened to kill i guess

1843 he was indicted for treason. 1844 perjury, fornication and polygamy were the charges.in 1844 people who had left Smiths church began a paper, the Nauvoo Expositor, only one issue was published. it was very negative of Smiths church and of Smith and other leaders of his church. this paper was then determined by the local mayor to be a public nuisance and ordered the press destroyed.

smith somehow called for martial law? anyway. he called out the nauvoo legion and the governor organized the states militia. all very back and forth.  he'd get bail and then would be arrested again...back to treason for calling out the militia. no bail on this one so he and his brother Hyrum Smith and others were placed in jail. they were killed by a mob there while awaiting trial. 

of course, we never really heard all of the stories of his past.  i think it was always wrapped up like he was really innocent of all charges and framed.  sounds familiar? he was arrested at one point in NY and convicted as a con artist. this was 4 years prior to him publishing the bofm. he had such theories as the moon was occupied by very tall people who lived to be 1000 years old.  anyway. he was killed and brigham took over. he took over in 1847 and died in 1877.  he also was the first governor of the utah territory.  he eventually took over 50 wives. even if the stories we were told about many men dying in the struggles of pioneer life and women and children needing to be cared for...gaining over 50 wives is not a kindness it's a perversion. 

Utah was a part of Mexico at the time young arrived. this land was changed to US territory after the Mexican-American war. young governed it like a theocracy. the church therefore had absolute control over the laws/rules. he is the one who banned blacks from having any priesthood. there were frequent clashes between young and the federal government...is this why so many mormons are so opposed to the federal government to this day?  utah was deemed to be in a state of rebellion in 1857 and federal troops were sent in.  young was replaced by another as governor but did remain as the de facto leader. 

the mountain meadows massacre added to the tensions. mormon militia dressed up as natives to attack a wagon train of white pioneers. 120 men/women and children were murdered. they were a non-mormon wagon train headed through utah. it is said that young is the one who called for this ( and later horrific events) or was just involved in the coverup...his adopted son was the only one brought to trial and executed. native  population was often placed into indentured servitude or slavery by mormons back in 1852. native children age 7-16 would get 3 months of education but then be put to work the rest of the time. they were a vital source of labor in the day. it was this and the polygamy that continued to put utah at odds with the federal government and potential for statehood.

there was a lot of violence between the mormons and the native americans.  battle creek massacre, salt creek canyon massacre, fountain green massacre, bear river massacre...you get the idea. there was also a view that natives were tied to the lamanites of the b of m. 

anyway, not sure how the relationship with natives and mormons is at this time in utah. not sure what the current native population thinks of pioneer day...they are only 1.19% of the utah population.  i think many were killed or forced out.  the tribes that live there are Paiute, Utes, Goshutes, Shoshone and Navajo. 

anyway...this was all a very rough bite at the history. i did not do a huge research for the blog.  just stuff to delve deeper into if you desire. the point is that the history i was taught and the reality seem to be pretty far off. above is my new bathroom flooring downstairs. so pretty. need to get estimates for the main room.  we are all thinking it may be an early winter this year. the berries are coming in fast and the fireweed is already at the top. 

i chilled with my sister and her husband for about 24 hours. we chatted, walked, ate, visited the graves of distant Palfreymans and just enjoyed some nice chill time post reunion. 

the little guy is bigger, 57 pounds but he still grabs her tail and corn cobs her. they are dreaming away behind me here in the office. 

i have the rest of the week off as a staycation now.  will need to decide what to do with that time.  chill or take off to Valdez or something? also need to plan some things to do with my brother when he arrives.

perhaps i'll go paint some rocks. i feel like the reunion went well. i made a plan for myself and i think it worked well. i do not expect huge sweeping changes in relationships. i am up here living the life i was meant to live and they are happily living the lives they are meant to live. 

grateful for A.  safe travels B. minimal drama C. happy healthy pets upon my return.