the way the world is...

 

between shifts at the moment. i could work every day if i wanted to....i don't want to. 3 in a row of nights wears me out.  still undecided on how my future plays out. need to look up insurance options. i suspect the best plan is just to drop to 2 shifts/week to keep insurance going a bit longer.  thinking work this for now and try for that come spring. enjoy summer and pick up a second part time job next fall. something different.  will extend life until i get to full retirement. 

did speak to a person from fidelity and i have enough i could retire fully now and still have money if i live to age 90. will i live to age 90? that is the tricky bit....trying to guess when you die.  also a strange and uncomfortable part of planning your life in retirement.  guessing your age of death. insurance could cost upwards of $10,000/year. i'm not really wanting to give that up. could look into switching over to Prov's urgent care set up to i guess. there are lots of options as a nurse so that is good. may end up doing something like that part time eventually and then take a different job on the side for extra cash or various different jobs and have summers more free.  lots to consider.

good to know there is money...barring any catastrophic world event that causes the stock market and thus my retirement account to be totally blitzed. that is always a possibility in this world. of course, with that i may be blitzed as well. 

i have never really been one to live the day to day worried about the remote possibilities. you can't really and stay sane. someone once said their Dad always said to not cross bridges before you get to them.  it's sage advice.  hard to follow at times. covid created stress and anxiety that didn't exist before. i do feel it loosening a bit and i have also had less of that numb and tingling stuff.  still sl anxious right before my work run starts.  

a terrorist group has taken hostages in Israel. the history in that region is complicated and the hero/villain lines can be a bit blurry.  i'd lean towards Israel for sure on this event.  Hamas is a known terrorist organization.  Israel has it's own long history with the Palestinians that is cruel and Apartheid like. at some point you do have some responsibility for your actions when consequences happen. that never means the consequences are deserved.  there are also Americans who have been killed and taken hostage. 

some have tried to compare things with Ukraine.  there is no comparison in my opinion.  Russia/Putin clearly just have tried for a land grab with no concern about innocent human life and borders.  the Ukrainians have a right to self determination. many would argue so do the Palestinians. i would probably argue that as well. 

our involvement across the globe is coming back to bite us in some ways.  we have had good intentions at times in the past but our involvement may not have always been helpful.  creating Israel without any thought to the current occupants of the area.  probably a bit sketch.  i mean that whole region wasn't really involved in WWII from what i can gather so then we just choose to give part of that space to a group.  not just us, of course. looking back, what a crazy plan. 

that has put us in line with Israel so that is where our loyalty tends to lie.  we do need to push back more on the cruel treatment of those especially in Gaza. holding people hostage in their own way was always going to have some repercussions.  like the parents that are totally strict with their kids, rebellion is predictable. people will, amazingly, tolerate a lot before they will rebel in these situations.  sadly, in this case they have learned to rely on horrific terrorist groups. in their lack of any power, they turn to others who are full of hate and behave with no morals, values, kindness or discipline. 

i have no answers for the major issues that plague our globe. these things are very complicated.  it is interesting that trump is, more and more, proving to have been a big secret teller.  he told labrov of russia things about the Israeli intelligence.  he's told people from Australia about  our submarine positions off of the n. korean coast.  he had boxes of classified materials.  he spoke with putin for several hours in Geneva i think it was.  more and more we are discovering the depth of his treason really. giving away secrets for cash no doubt.  who still supports this fool? it's really baffling. 

things he told putin/russia would have made their way to iran and hamas...so this may come back on him a bit. he has put many lives at risk with his narcissistic behavior and tendencies. today i thought of how the Israeli's hunted down those responsible for the hostage taking/killings in the olympics in Munich in 1972.  would their wrath turn on trump if they find that he did indeed share things that made this possible for hamas? 

i do recall this event in the '72 Olympics. i was pretty young.  all i remember was hearing that gorilla's had taken the Israeli team hostage.  nobody else seemed the least bit concerned that giant apes had escaped a zoo and taken these people hostage.  what made the gorilla's do such a  thing? why did they not like the Israeli's.  i was very confused but asked nothing since nobody else seemed confused by these events.  eventually, i did notice humans climbing around on a balcony and being referred to as gorillas...guerilla's. cleared things up for me a bit.

we also had made a treaty with Ukraine to make them give up their nuclear arms.  we'd help protect them if russia invaded.  so here we are.  if they had kept their nuclear weapons i doubt russia would have been this bold. so we are in.  i bought i few other items from Etsy -Ukraine. i like to do that on occasion. i may have doubled my order accidently.  oops. we shall see. from Ukraine sellers there can be quite the delay getting the product. 

my 3 nights were in peds/picu.  picu was getting pretty busy. they are short staffed at this time. lots of folks moving on from the hospital. 

no surprise.  we spent covid years watching other people come in and get big sign on bonuses while we got nothing.  i find myself pissed that there were no retention bonuses for those of us who have stuck it out.  we get a crappy $500 bonus annually, before taxes and a cheap $25 gift card at Christmas. 

at this point i am embarrassed to answer the question, "how long have you worked here?". i feel a bit like a sucker.  i could have been moving around taking different jobs and getting fat bonuses over staying her and being taken advantage of. it's disheartening and frustrating. i am not the only one feeling that. many are booking. 

i think in general the working people in this nation are rising up and screaming bull.  we have sat by while our captors, large corporations, have given themselves huge raises and bonuses while treating the workers of this nation like crap. we are mad as hell and we aren't going to take it anymore...or will we.  we shall see.  lots of folks going on strikes.  i wish them well. 

i was annoyed Saturday morning at the usual guilt trip pushed on me by the oncoming day shift charge. like if i don't volunteer to work overtime on my days off it is all my fault my co-workers will suffer and that childrens lives will be endangered. 

these are issues that are not my fault nor are they my responsibility.  the responsibility rests with those in upper management.  we should be better staffed and in order to keep staff they need to loosen the strings they need to treat their workers with more respect. they need to have a more balanced distribution of wealth. they need to be less greedy and selfish.  the responsibility is theirs. 

i am a worker bee.  

the flower pots have been put up for the season.  i'm taking steps to get ready for winter.  have done some raking.  yard clean up. need to make an appointment to get the CRV in for winter tires. 

hanging with the pups and kitties yesterday.  never even showered, barely got out of bed. bit of a headache day. feeling better today.  enjoy today off and then back to work tomorrow.  probably peds/picu again. 

things do change there fast though. 

above from last summer, below from this summer. more from glacier and arctic valley

i had hoped to do some longer drives last week but did some shorter ones at least. gotta pay attention to weather now.  would like to sneak over to Seward before the roads get sketchy. they may already be though a bit. 

i went up artic valley last week. way past fall prime.  the dogs could care less, they just like to be out there. 

the swans have been coming through a lot these past weeks. so some nice sightings of those. 

did have a strange dream the other morning. so detailed and specific.  does make you wonder some days, where do these dreams come from.  

also had a strange thought as well.  these evangelicals see trump as like a prophet or jesus himself.  they have even been heard to call out their pastors for preaching the words of Jesus in their sermon....they think Jesus sermon on the mound was too woke. they have been only reading certain passages in the bible or just believing what they are told so they do not know the words ascribed to jesus at this point. 

of course, it occurred to me...what if Jesus was more like trump? what if, in truth, jesus was really just a con man as so many other messiah/cult leaders are?  what if the stories in the bible are just a mass of conspiracy theories?  blasphemy i realize, but still an interesting thing to ponder. all these followers of trump believing all sorts of craziness.  they so easily set aside the person they previously saw as the messiah...Jesus seems to have lost followers even though they still call themselves Christians..will this maga crap morph into a religion that topples jesus? 

creepy things to think about. that is just how my brain works. 

CB taking a sample of the glacier ice.  we really should take stuff to make treats on the glacier.  

looking at Halloween pumpkin carving ideas on Pinterest as i write. 

the pumpkin massacre is on.  i mentioned it to my friend who has turned into co-host. her place is bigger and better for it.  i hadn't heard back so i was thinking i may need to bring it home.  she popped in today making plans so now it's all set.  yeah! always a highlight. looks like there is interest out there. 

so many great ideas.  Halloween is fast approaching. i did get the Skelly's prepped for the season and bought full candy bars to hand out. will probably do the candy slide again...cause it's fun!

gives the kids some distance from the dogs and me as well....haha. 

kids are little germ factories and i'm around enough little snot nosed kids as it is. haha. 

so i've covered some politics and some religion stuff. stuff you aren't supposed to discuss.  leave it to me to jump right in there and be potentially offensive. 

my heart breaks for all those who are in these war torn parts of the world.  generally, like most things, it's the regular people, who have no beef really and no say in these matters, that suffer the most. those who have control and power will remain safe in their castles surrounded by moats pulling the strings that inflict pain on others. pain that they will never even really witness as they are safety protected while pulling those strings of hell upon others. 

always love the blues in the glaciers. so beautiful

fun camp out with family.  some discrepancy in which chip would be better...so both were purchased and trials were done. 

Sunny as king of the mountain. 

at the dog park the other day.  we ran into the cool group.  i don't think i'm totally part of the cool group but Sunny is so i'm accepted. what does it mean when your dog has better social skills than you do and is one of the cool kids. haha. just happy i am in his orbit so i get to be popular through him.  

there is one small herding dog that has become obsessed with Ivy.  she is right on her and Ivy has been getting more annoyed as she just wants to chase her toy. Ivy actually went after this dog the other day. no blood but she gave that dog a scare.  thankfully, the owner of the dog has seen how annoying their dog is to Ivy. they have cheered Sunny Boy chasing said dog away from Ivy and seemed happy to see that this did seem to fix the issue of obsession.  still sad to see Ivy had to resort to this.  hard to watch...though it really was more scary to watch and wasn't really an attack. she's way bigger and if she wanted to do harm...she could.  she's mostly a lover though.  just pushed  too far.  that dog kept it's distance after that though. 

more blues

always a favorite place. happy we got one more trip out there in.  not sure i want to do that road in the winter.  it can be dicey in the summers. drop offs. 

would be cool to get out there in front of the glacier when the lake is frozen though. 

love me a campfire!

i better get the day moving along.  dogs to be walked, human to be bathed.  

thankful for A. the relative peace i have been lucky to have lived in thus far in life. B. a curious and questioning mind.  C. little bits of fall colors still and the oncoming ice designs.