Monday, June 1, 2015

Homer...wide angle

 always find Homer to be a relaxing trip. no big plans, no friends along, just Blossom, Rio and I. got a room at the Driftwood Inn. they have dog rooms available and it's right by Bishops Beach so easy walking with the pups.
 lots of walking. dogs were worn out every day. a few times i feared i'd overdone it with Rio but she seems to have survived alright. every day at this point is a gift with that pup.  she'll be 11 in July and for her size that is a super long life.  can't leave the dogs unattended in the hotel so she walked a bit more than her usual i'd guess. short on my steps today but my average is still good. will just have to find a good walk for tomorrow.  hopefully i can convince Rio to stay home and take Blossom on a longer stretch.
 the top shots are Bishops and the harbor.
 further down are from todays walk out Diamond Ridge.  was debating it, but wanted to go.  just had to watch Rio on the thin trail.  some drop offs.  so a bit stressful but the beach was beautiful today.  fog was rolling in.  couldn't walk too far either way as Rio was pooped but we did sit for a bit.  had to clear my head.  life is stressful...not really, but my brain can make life stressful.
 as always i'm a ruminator, so when things bother me i need to just work through them in my head.  do i over react to things some times, yes,  am i sensitive, yes. I  prefer the term more sensitive as opposed to overly sensitive though.  just like i'd guess i'd use the term less sensitive to describe someone rather than saying they are insensitive, right?  is it my genes? is it related to my youth?
 probably a  bit of both. swans flying by overhead
 can't say i wasn't loved, our house was full of love growing up. compliments...well for me they were rare, when it came to my father, compliments were even rarer and generally followed up with a But...i suspect some of us are more sensitive than others by nature.  that means that others are less sensitive by nature.  do they lack feelings, those who are less sensitive? i hope not, but i am for sure not lacking for feelings and sometimes those feelings get hurt.  the funny thing is that with sensitive people often all that really needs to be done is to simply apologize for hurting those feelings....thus acknowledging that their feelings have value and are worthy of an apology when they are hurt.  but the less sensitive seem to see this simple fact as silliness...
 instead the usual tactic seems to be to attempt to rationalize away the more sensitive persons feelings.  we are told to just let it go, that we are over-reacting, over sensitive.  the funny thing is all this just makes it worse. no matter how stubborn it may seem that i can be....the truth is in the end it is usually i who apologizes for making more of something than the less sensitive person can understand.  you tuck your hurt away so that life can return to some normalcy.
 my friend Lesley was also more sensitive and so we could talk openly about those times when our feelings were hurt and neither of us would make the other feel ridiculous or hysterical for having those feelings of hurt.  we just listened and understood and then the hurting was less of a burden.  we both ruminated about seemingly silly hurts that for us really were bothersome.  sadly Lesley is not with us anymore. so that made me cry thinking of my friend who would have understood my silliness and ridiculousness but is no longer here.  i miss my friend.  it hurts my sensitive feelings that she was taken too early from this world and that i can no longer text her or call about my silly issues.  so i cried more.
 the world needs us more sensitive people in it though. no matter how silly and ridiculous we may seem when our feelings get hurt we are also very sympathetic to others.  we can feel their pain.  the world needs more people who can feel the pain around them.  we are often the do gooders and the tree huggers.
 when i was debating starting WARIS. I remember thinking of my friend, Lesley, who had just passed about that time.  should i start this, could i?  Lesley was very upset about the Rhino's, she was originally from South Africa.  she, like i, could be passionate about subjects....because she was a more sensitive person like myself.  highly sensitive people can also be highly passionate people.  it doesn't mean we are crazy...but i guess to the less sensitive we may appear so. we just feel things deeply so we take things personally as they feel personal, even if it's a rhino in Africa or for me a Walrus on Round Island.  i knew that she would fully support me moving forward with WARIS.  i hoped she'd help a bit from the other side....and maybe she did.
 your more sensitive types are not the people who bully in school..we are probably more likely to have been the victims of bullying.
 so i'm just saying the world needs those of us who are more sensitive.
 a blog is a good place to express of the reasons i have a blog is that i have a lot of thoughts that rumble around in my head..or as i call it ruminating.  the blog helps me to release those feelings, passions and hurt.  the truth is, if i posted something on facebook and someone was hurt or upset...i would just apologize and take it down, but then i am of the more sensitive sort. that seems like a normal thing to do to me. my comments to the original post were probably more reactive than i would have liked so i removed those.  it's embarrassing to hurt and then react in a way that doesn't really fit my personality, but we are all human and to err is human, right.  it's fine to err, but you then have to make an attempt to right the wrong.  that has to work for you, it can't really be dictated by others. you have to live with yourself.  generally, i tend to opt for the let it go thing...but that only happens after i've ruminated about a thing for a bit.
 walking on the beach this week was very cleansing for my soul.  the sounds of the sea, the waves, the rocks rolling back and forth.  i'm totally safe with dogs...they never hurt feelings.  they just are.  it is what it is with dogs. no judgement, no silly rules, no social fumbling, total acceptance.
 i have never felt very good at the social stuff. i'm awkward and shy in conversations, the rules, the silly rules..that seem to change.  you think you are being nice and inclusive and then you find you've broken another rule, a new one.  loved watching Rio enjoy the waves and the water.  when i first adopted her she was afraid of water, now she seems very happy in it.  once on the spit she was wading and some little waves were crashing on her and she got knocked over...she just got back up and kept wading.
 Saturday we ended up doing 4 shorter walks  2 at Bishops Beach, one at the spit and then one east end.  there was a trailhead sign so i checked it wasn't long, but it was really hot out..i know that is relative but 70's here is a heat wave and we just aren't used to that.  the dogs for sure aren't used to it.
 still have to unpack. the bag made it to my bed.  it's after midnight so i'll have to get on that one.  driving is relaxing but also tiring.  my knee is doing much better i can tell, but sitting still makes it stiff.
 you can tell the locals come to this beach.  i know there is coal on the beach so i think some come and collect that to use in the winter for heating. not sure what else folks were hunting for.
 many, like myself, were just looking to clear their heads or enjoy the views.
 brought a pizza back from Finns on the spit for dinner last night, ate at the popular cafe/bakery before you go on the spit for breakfast.  really just snacked on stuff in my snack bag otherwise.
 woke up early and checked on the walrus...the sunset was beautiful. so great to be able to see the walrus anytime i want kinda.  also great to see people falling in love with the same things i fell in love with the walrus for.
 didn't really appreciate being made to feel like more of  a freak than i already know i am today but i did appreciate my less sensitive friend making every effort to try and help her more sensitive friend. i know it's not easy for her to understand the quirks of the more sensitive.  at least she was trying though.  the less sensitive are bound by their own limitations just as i am bound by mine.  best if we just try and understand each other and get along in this world.  the world needs less sensitive people as much as it needs more sensitive people.   we all serve different roles and purposes.
 hopefully, i've said all this without hurting anyones feelings or making anyone mad.  i certainly did it without using a group text which i now know can really irritate some people.
 the trail comes down through the creek valley.
 the dogs enjoyed some fresh water.
 someone made a shelter on the beach.
 attempted some pics...the dogs were not overly cooperative.
 Rio just wanted to sleep.  Blossom was tricked into looking this direction when i put treats by the camera.
 great weekend. summer is in some ways stressful i find.  i feel obligated to go and do constantly. there seems to be a lot of competition, which i am not a fan of.  you must use each hour of day light because it's there and should be used.  in general, when the light fades away and winter comes i find myself becoming unburdened.  free to again be lazy.
 so the summer madness has begun and i need to get out and about.  still stuff at home that i need to do as well.  really should get on that tomorrow.
 views from the trail of the sea.
 bumpy trail..but i was able to keep Rio safe.
 not a great shot but across the creek there was a pretty big rock/land slide ( that brown patch).  some teens were sliding down it. it was actually pretty steep and there were rocks below.  not the best idea in my mind, but teens will be teens.
 everything is so green now...that part of summer i love.
 the drive home.  volcano's in the distance.
thankful for:  A.  being more sensitive, it also means probably more artistic and more to find someone to be passionate with.  hmm.  B.  safe travels C.  beautiful and relaxing walks on various beaches in Homer

No comments:

Post a Comment