weighing in...

 it's all out there for the moment.  everyone is feeling free to speak up after years of remaining silent.  what do we do with it all? 

 these are from mushroom walks in August.

 the truth is even nice guys do stupid and inappropriate things.  many young males do stupid things directed at the females around them.  usually they get a few of those looks of shock or disgust from the females that are their peers and they probably mostly start to get that this behavior is unwanted or unwelcome or plain is not going to work to impress females.  most females have had these unwanted advances and some body is doing it.  odds are the bulk of females have had an unwanted intrusion which probably means the bulk of all males have at one point or another pushed the line, whether intentional or not.  whether mean spirited or not...it happens over and over and over again.

 for some the behavior becomes a habit or intensifies or they just don't give a crap i guess or they gain enough power or notoriety that  they figure they can get away with pushing their behavior on the females that enter their sphere.

 in truth males across the board do get away with much of this unwanted sexual advancing. i mean, hell, men get away with rapes all the time.  we don't tell, we are scared, there are many reasons females don't run to the hospital or police anytime they have an unwanted sexual intrusion...even rape. 

 the vast majority of encounters, such as the ones we are just hearing about are not reported. 

 the past, and sadly the future, remains pretty unchanged.  women get blamed, women get called names, women aren't to be believed.  nothing happens or changes when women do tell except that they tend to be the ones labeled as frigid or difficult or a bitch or whatever name is being used at the time. women are punished for telling.  Moore and drumpf and their supporters simply say the women are lying...the same happened with Clinton back in the day before you start saying I'm being partisan....victim blaming in these incidences is the usual result...so women don't speak.  those who spoke out in the cases of moore and drumpf  were all threatened with lawsuits.

 many women who do complain are simply paid a sum of money and asked to not speak of it again.  believe me this won't happen to the average female.  they are more likely to be fired.  you have to be in a position of some status or the guy who makes the advances is, in order for some pay off to happen to somehow erase what happened.  give the bitch some cash and make it go away...

 Frankin was disappointing but the reality none of them would surprise me.  I'm sure there are plenty of males i know who if they look back honestly they will recall a few jokes that maybe didn't go as expected or weren't received well.  most guys probably just walk away from these smaller incidences embarrassed and most women just roll their eyes and move on as well.

 those smaller comments, "accidental" gropings are small by comparison so as a female you really have to choose your battles, right?

 some called for Frankin to resign...funny the potus had some nastiness to say about frankin while still accusing his accusers of lying and denying any misbehavior on his part.  he also seems to have nothing to say about Moore.  Frankin did apologize and the one women who stepped forward accepted this apology. 

 you can't simply say, a woman accused this guy so he must resign...hell, i fear we would have a mass exodus from so many males our nation would not function. 

 most of these women coming forward are well aware that there can be no legal action against these men, the time has passed for that and as it was when the incident happened.  how do you prove it or what do you prove.  Frankin has a picture of him which looks like he was going to grope this women.  i don't actually see groping happening so i think she knew it was lewd and crude, yes, boys being boys to some degree.  i suspect being in comedy lewd and crude are pretty common place. 

 the most they can hope for is an apology, some acknowledgement that what was done was hurtful or inappropriate.  so far he seems to have been the only one who stood up and said basically admitted and apologized. again, they are safe doing this as there won't be any legal response...will it impact their careers.  that is possible.  clearly not in the case of drumpf and probably not in the case of moore.  people have shown repeatedly that in truth they could care less about who groped who. 

 they talk the talk, but when they are in that voter booth, they will click the box of the person who they think will give them the things they want...their character, their morality... not really all that swaying. that is sad...

 you hope that at least the shame of it will work it's way in and make them at least have to have that internal conversation even if they never have the external one.

 you hope that somehow those that are publicly scorned will  learn some of the lessons that so many other males learned from smaller embarrassing moments they had when they were young. 

 when you are forming your opinion, you really have to look at each case individually.  was there a pattern of abuse of position that these men showed.  did what they did to the victims seem to worsen over time as they pushed the boundaries as they found they didn't get held accountable or even if they did it was a slap on the wrist and a small fine...

 could what they did be seen as illegal if there was an opportunity for it to be tried in court.  do they have any remorse, do they seem willing to make amends.  have they learned and changed behavior or has their behavior only worsened? 

 these women did not come forward for financial gain or notoriety or to send these men to prison i suspect.  i suspect they came forward because others came forward, they came forward because it is something that has always bothered them and now they see this person continuing to move forward through life without remorse who impacted them.  they want others to see the flaws and judge for themselves....they want you to see that this person who is claiming to hold the moral high road has no cause to claim this.  they came forward because right now it seems a little bit safer and more supportive to come forward.

 most of us know that in the end, these guys will just move on and it will be forgotten.  the women may feel a bit vindicated if only because they finally spoke the words out loud.  that was why the #metoo happened.  because of the many women who are standing up and speaking, others feel they can as well.

 believe me though, many more didn't speak and will never speak.  many feel like the incidences were somehow their fault, that they are to blame or that they are somehow bad people for allowing this to happen or for not doing anything about it at the time.  guilt, shame, fear of reprisals.  those can last a lifetime. 

 honestly, the smaller stuff that just made you cringe...you roll your eyes and move on...but believe me it can have a cumulative effect. 

 for me, often the lack of reaction or the poor reaction from people you thought would be there and protect you, are often far more devastating than the actual incident.  the people, many are other females by the way, that encourage you to not speak, that this is just part of life.

 most of us try to take small actions to protect ourselves every day.  we have done it for so long that we do much of it without really being aware.  we are more acutely aware of those around us.  we are ever watchful.  we are looking around as we walk out to our cars, searching for shadows, places someone may be hiding.  we are carrying our keys or some other item we could use to protect us.  we check around our cars before we approach.  in a crowd we must be aware of our butts and our breasts and if they in a place to be easily groped. 

 are some of us just in places where we are at more risk? not sure why some females seem to have more of these incidences than others.  maybe we just are the ones who speak out more freely.

 these abuses of power can escalate though, causing job loss, relationship failures, self esteem issues.  yes these things happen to males as well. i am only focusing on females in this because i am one. 

 some are born with sexual organs of both males and females. i recall one male parent worrying this tiny baby may not be able to give birth..my thoughts were immediately of concern that sexual deviants would try to take advantage of this child as they got older.  females just have to view the world through a different lens in order to protect themselves.  we are often seen as the ones to blame even when we are harassed or molested.  what was she wearing? had she drank? 

 I'm one female.  i have had males flash their genitals at me on several occasions...really too many for me to recall details of each incident. i know there was one at college in the dorms, one at a McDonald's, a guy was jerking off, pulled over to ask directions.  i have been groped on many occasions.  it seems to be part of being a nurse, you learn dodging skills.  another time as i slept, i woke up being molested.  the rest...i don't feel the need to write it all down.  was there worse, sure, but even that i find myself dismissing it as i blame myself for not doing this or that. 

 still, in many ways as females here we have much greater power than many females across the globe.

 that in no way means though that we can be thrilled and need to just accept these attacks.

 sexual harassment will go on.  it remains something that is difficult to prove.  he said, she said.  it also remains something that by and large the female who speaks suffers more than the male she accuses.

 3 nights work down.  it's cold out there.  just hit the dog park again today.  slept in.  the pups are fine with that.

 there is a party going on next door.  not loud.  the dogs have watched the comings and goings with interest.

 this week was PICU, ICU, and ICU again. the second night i took hold patients.  transferred 2 out of 3 out close to shift change.

 got my steps in this week.  well picu i already had my steps in that day.  i was happy i got quite a bit of the silly mandatory lessons done on the computer.  i still need to do the little bls machine.  haven't really figured that out. need to take the time and just do it.  when i am there, i don't have any desire to linger to do that though.  should do it if i ever get sent home early from ER or something.  we are supposed to do it quarterly now i guess.  I'll not know if I'm annoyed until after i figure out the machine.  i guess i tend to be annoyed with most mandatory education things out of habit though. haha.

 still coughing but i think it's improving.  usually the cough gets worse through the night at work and last night it didn't seem to which i took as a good sign.  hopefully, this will be a shorter bronchitis bout. 

 last night i leaned over to empty a catheter and felt something drip down my face.  turns out i had a small bloody nose.  i don't get spontaneous bloody noses.  it wasn't bad and it stopped quick.  i was not picking my nose. i was all gowned and gloved and put in the catheter. i hadn't even blown my nose before that.  weird.  i never have high blood pressures with checks. 

 we all do pick on occasion. i think i did give myself a bloody nose as a kid sometimes by picking.  my wise brothers used to tell me if you want to know if a person is honest...ask them if they ever pick their nose.  we all do so if they say no, they would be proven to be a dishonest person. 

 Seinfeld had a full episode on this. haven't seen it for awhile.  haha.

 was having fun with mushrooms this day.

 anyway, that is me weighing in a bit on the whole sexual harassment state we are in.

 this is a large bolete. they get super big.  i guess they are good eating if you like that sort of thing. 

 i like to take pictures of them, but not eat them so much.

 these are such sweet pups. 

 it was two years ago today that i lost Rio Catalina.  good that she and Blossom are together.

thankful for:  A.  work, thankful i am healthy enough for it and that i was given a proper education that allowed me the opportunity to select a career that i can support myself with  B.  thankful for my time with sweet Rio Catalina.  C.  down and fleece. they make life easier and warmer and comfy.