the art of walking in the rain...

 finally made it out there this afternoon.  slept/read.  I'm always sluggish when it is really coming down, but once i make it out the door i find that i really enjoy a walk in the rain.  seemed reasonable to walk Campbell Airstrip.  not too many out there, especially when i first started. 

 perhaps everyone is sluggish in the rain...also it was raining super hard earlier and it had calmed down by the afternoon.

 seemed time for a selfie with the pups. 

 finished up the work stretch.  worked CICU and then PCU.  my career in nursing started in a PCU like unit. my first night i ended up only having one patient and that patient was minimal care so i had a lot of free time. can make for a long night.  I'm really not someone who can think of endless things to look up on the internet and because I'm generally busy at work it's not like i bring in things to do during the down time.

 thankfully, work gives me loads of continued education so i got my online ACLS and PALS completed for the year.  so many scenarios.  this is advanced life support.  mostly it's like video games where you try to save dying people.  maybe the world would be better if they made actual video games like this..saving people against the clock instead of killing people. we could be rich...anyone want to take this on and just give me a percentage?  I'm far too lazy to bring it to life, but i am always full of good ideas.

 Ivy is never really lazy.  love when she flies and her ears fly up as well.

 i took the time between shifts to create this lovely Halloween wreath.  i do have fun with Halloween.  it's just that it's a stress free holiday, created just for fun and frivolity.  other holidays, the big ones coming up, are just much more filled with obligations and stress. they tend to also be filled with more moments of feeling lonely and inadequate for me.  reminders of what i don't have, where as Halloween...it's just candy and costumes and Skelly's!!

 the creek level was up pretty high today due to all that extra rain. i wasn't about to let the pups near it.  thankfully, they aren't as obsessed with water as Blossom was.  they are more tennis ball obsessed.

 family is what it is.  I've spent some time over the past year trying to learn how to let go of what it isn't.  it's hard though.  you have this vision of what a family would be.  supportive, constant, involved, but then you realize that not every person is up to the task. feel like this charade of having little to do with each others lives for months and even years and then just boom, lets have a family reunion and pretend that we have some picture perfect relationships, it's not really for me. 

 thankfully, i have an extended family and there are many who do seem to desire to be in my life.  for those i think, that is where i should focus my attention. the others, who have proven year after year that this relationship is more for show than an actual relationship...well i feel more and more that it's time to stop banging my head against the wall. trying to create relationships with people who really don't seem to want or understand what that means is pointless.

 for those who, over the years have made the flawed relationship of family one of animosity...well it seems even more pointless.  better to walk the other way. one sided is fine for periods of time but if that is all it ever is really, then eventually, you should step back and really evaluate the worth of it all.  i do feel over the years i have made those efforts with all, but in a few cases it's just been futile..or worse, negative. 

 family becomes the people who want to be around you, who see you for who you are, flaws and all, but still respect you, still love you. sometimes that is blood, but sometimes it's not blood.  it's friends.  thankfully i have some amazing friends in my life.  i have been really blessed to have met so many amazing people.  i also have some really great siblings and some nieces and nephews who also seem to understand what it means to be a part of an extended family is.

 most of us just want to be seen, to be accepted, to be loved.  it sounds simple but it's a tough world out there really.

 it does make me think of all those out there who don't have anyone.  i mean i have some lonely times, but i still have an army of people who are there for me, who would be there for me. 

 when it comes to a few family members...I'm trying to just be more okay with the walking away.  I'm the one who chose to walk away from what was expected.  it's been the right choice for sure, but it also meant that there were going to be a few in my family circle who couldn't accept that.  who wouldn't.  the truth is you can only pretend for so long. 

 while i was sleeping millions i think marched for science and the earth.  go team earth.  the times are changing.  it's slow but i think those deniers are going to find themselves more and more on the margins.  doing nothing but denying is starting to look more and more foolish. even the kids of the deniers seem to be acknowledging more and more that their parents are incorrect and science may be more right. 

 i keep trying to remind myself that change is harder for some than for others.  many just want everything to stay as it was and that just isn't how humans have ever worked.  that isn't conducive to society moving forward.  I'm sure many balked at planes and space travel, cars, TV and radio before that.  eventually most of them adapt to change, because, that is how it works. 

 the same people who today are climate change deniers were no doubt the ones who freaked about TV coming in and taking the radio market.  the same who probably feared how society would change once cars took over for horse and buggies. 

 change is good most of the time.  it can be good or bad really, you just have to learn to embrace the good in it.  our nation could and should be the inventors of change when it comes to green energy, but this last hold out has been harnessed by the greedy who desire to get all they can out of fossil fuels.  it's funny how those companies knew in the 1970's that the oil industry was going to do damage, they believed the science, but in the end...they opted to push a different narrative...while many still are silently working on green energy because they know the oil will not last. 

 our nation of many years ago was great, but it was great for just a certain segment of the population.  change to becoming more inclusive may seem terrible to some individuals but those individuals like to avoid looking at the truth of how difficult our nation was for the bulk of it's citizens...people of color, women, gays....

 walk a mile in anothers shoes before you exclaim how perfect our union was back in the day.  it was what it was, it was a different time.  progress means recognizing the failings of our past us and moving forward for a better us.  ( and i mean us not US.)

 sandhills in Fairbanks.

 the power of today is now given to only a few.  this recent scandal is just unfolding but already the right is making more excuses for their foolish leaders bad behavior...don't they ever get frustrated trying to make a decent human out of this corrupt idiot? at what point are they not all culpable for his horrible behavior because they stand there defending it all.

 scream louder, cry foul louder...that is their response.  deep state, more conspiracy theories.  it's simple but it seems to work.  facts are too easy, easy to manipulate.  crazy to me how so many prefer to believe these crazy conspiracies than facts, but there it is.

 he makes promises in order to get other nations to help him win an election and this is fine with them?  win at all costs....well the cost is our freedom, the cost is our way of life, the cost is our being made fools.

 waiting.....

 waiting for the honorable, moral and ethical out there to stand up and finally say enough is enough...but they aren't doing it. it seems they won't do it. there are no longer any honorable, ethical or moral voices in the GOP in DC.

 more from Fairbanks and then the drive south down the Richardson.

 plastic bag ban went into effect on Sunday in Anchorage.  we survived before without these bags.  it's just a matter of planning ahead a bit.  we, as individuals, won't save the earth.  we need laws and we need a global effort.  we need individuals to do their part though, we need people to be willing to not see these efforts as a religion working against their own religion, but some see this as a belief rather than a commitment to a better and more responsible call to action.  i remember a co-worker telling me she doesn't "believe in recycling"..my response was that recycling wasn't something you believe in or not...it's something you do or don't do

 taking steps to protect the beauty and delicate balance of this earth we live on is not something you believe in or not...it's something you do or don't do.  so if you are a denier, well you have chosen to do nothing.  you have chosen to continue to add to the problem rather than do what you can to help the situation. 

 making protecting the earth into some conspiracy theory that  leads you to think that you are somehow supporting a radical liberal agenda, is just you doing nothing.

 these are from the drive out to Chena Hot Springs.

 i finished a good read.  love to devour a good book . those are not easy to find.  i always feel a bit sad when i finish a really good book...you just want to read it forever.

 it's the season of reflections...

 Houston is flooding again.  saw pictures posted...crazy. they got loads of rain in short order. the folks of the Bahamas are still trying to recover from Dorian.  still not total on the death toll, of course, our anti immigrant, hateful government made sure to scream out that they will not take in any refugees from this hurricane.  assholes....that really is all i can say about them at this point. they are cruel, they lack empathy, they are assholes.

 they reversed to some degree their decree that medical immigrants will be dumped in 33 days....still not clear why the 33 days was written in.  it could be like many other things where they back off publicly and then try to push the nastiness through later in a different manner.  elephant ivory is a prime example.  even their own people don't like the stuff they do but they do their best to keep the worst of it out of the conservative media...and the conservatives just scream fake news when any of the truth comes out on the other media stations.  it's exhausting.

 the pipeline...that is it.  below it is underground

 scenes from the road

 it's getting late.  i took a little nap after i finished my book.  so now it's late. 

 looks like rain all over the place for a bit.  i had debated a drive to Homer this weekend, but the tides aren't great.  hopefully i will pull off a few day trips and see some fall colors before the snow really starts to fall.

 snow is starting to show up in the forecasts.

 this was a trail to a glacier, but i wasn't really sure the best route and the brush was fairly closed in...opted to not experiment.

 we actually got fairly lucky with the weather for the drive south. 

 i never bore of this landscape

 more of the pipeline.  my friend wasn't impressed, but it is quite the engineering feat.  also quite a win for environmentalists...it could have been worse. it's still pretty awful up at Prudhoe bay.  all the claims of returning it all to it's natural state when they are done...bull as far as i can tell.  i suspect our state will be stuck with the clean up or stuck paying for lawsuits attempting to get oil companies to pay for it. 

 a stop by the pipeline on the side of the road

 my friend waits with the dogs in the car

 the pipeline has to be capable of shifting when big quakes hit...dealing with freeze/thaws

 there it is.. i am off to bed i guess. 

thankful for: A.  those with integrity...may they bravely stand up soon.  thanks to the whistle blower...may there be more to come.  B.  getting that ACLS/PALS stuff done C.  to everyone who was out there on the streets across the globe in support of this beautiful earth.