me just being me...

 like me, hate me, ignore me, embrace me. we can all only be who we are and then just hope that there are some out there who accept us for who we are, flaws and all.  thankfully, there are many out there who i do feel accepted around.  many are lucky to find even one person to accept them, to see them. it's easy to feel passed by or passed over in this world that is so filled with others. 

 comparing and contrasting is easy to do but generally a very flawed plan. we will probably mostly see our flaws and others attributes.  why can it be so difficult to look past our own flaws despite looking past the flaws of others.  we are generally just way to hard on ourselves.

 nobody can judge me like i can judge me.  I'm so grateful to live with a pair that are incapable of judging anyone really.  i mean to a dog you are good or bad, safe or dangerous.  it's simple.  overall, they accept and they do not judge.

 was listening to some podcasts on the drive....love listening to podcasts when I'm driving. some were talking about the stress in society.  how there is this drive to perfection.  how it is causing so much stress in so many of the citizens. 

 if your goal is perfection you are setting yourself up for failure.  we are not perfect beings.  we are flawed.  i can't imagine any God out there expects you to be perfect.  oddly, i thought that was the point of sending Jesus...was to help us atone for our sins...because sin we will and honestly, sin we must to some degree. 

 failure can be a means to success.  now clearly we should all try to avoid failures that take others down or harm others.  we will hurt people though.  we will harm others.  we will all fail, we will hurt others feelings.  not sure if i heard on the podcast or elsewhere, but the person was saying how they try to extend kindness when they can because they know that they will unknowingly, in the course of life,  hurt others.

 we all like to think that we only inspire others...but for every one your inspire there are no doubt others who you harmed because you were too busy or stressed about something else or just not focused on anyone else's needs but your own for a moment. we can all have moments where we are annoyed, irritated, outraged...

 i always found this goal of perfection to be too stressful. the culture around us and the religion i was raised in i found this as well, it just emphasizes this perfection stuff to the detriment of those who are really honest with our own failings.

 people tend to act out the part of already being perfect...its a ruse that i suppose in a way we all have to play to some degree.  you can't go through life forcing every person, plant and animal to endure whatever mood you are in at that moment...there has to be some degree of acting or society would implode...kind of like it is now. social media plays a large role in perpetrating this feeling that everyone else around you is already got it all together and figured out. they don't by the way

 i have come to believe the backlash about all the political correct stuff is that perhaps humans need to be nasty about each other from time to time.  we have to release some of that steam of how uncomfortable we are with each other in order to be comfortable with each other.  being politically correct often meant road blocks to that release.  i suspect some must need to release it more than others...the point of being politically correct though is based on goodness and kindness. 

 i still believe we should all strive to avoid outright causing pain in others out there. we should also be a bit forgiving when someone fails in a smaller way...we do need some limits...it seems that many out there have wanted to be cruel to others and felt restrained by the politically correct atmosphere. it's one thing to crack a joke from time to time to release steam by laughing at ourselves or others..it's a whole other issue to have that steam explode in a fire storm of hatred and venom.  sadly...this explosion of anger in our society has exhibited itself in screaming, in physical harm, in pushing for policies which are cruel and harmful. 

 it's caused some elements of our society to lash out at others who are unlike them in the external, because these folks can't seem to understand that we are alike in the interior.  we may come from different spiritual/religious back grounds, different cultural back grounds, different political thinking but at our core we mostly want to find acceptance and happiness.

 i think there is enough on this earth to share with each other..sadly there are those who are more selfish and do not want to share but they want the bulk of the money and power.

 there is a reason why when you really look at history, greed and power hunger tend to rise, destroy themselves and then falter and crash. 

 people get some success being bad and then they start to push the envelope in order to obtain more power and more money.  if you are going about it for the wrong reasons...for purely selfish reasons you will generally crash. 

 those in power in our nation right now will hopefully find that out.  they have put their faith in a mortal of poor character.  he cares not one bit of them and their loyalty really...for the most part he only cares about himself and they are only tools to make him feel better, to put him in a better position.  when they are no longer useful or "fail" in some way, he ditches them.

 sadly, at this moment in history he has a lot of followers who are willing to look the other way at the facts of who he really is at his core...which totally contradicts the kindness and decency that is inside of them.  he is not a good person.  the devil will give you what you want but in the end you will have to pay the devil with your soul.  the devil won't be happy with plain loyalty..he must have all of you.

 the top pics are from the drive to Homer, below is the drive across the Denali Highway.

 the right keeps trying to deflect away from the facts.  it's nothing new, this has been their tactic since the beginning. don't look at the bad we are doing, look over here.  they preach that the Democrats are evil...i mean it.  they are preaching from their political positions.  they do seem to have many out there convinced that the Republican party is some sort of religion.  if you do not vote for Republicans you are somehow going to anger God.  for some trump is even seen as having been sent by God to save our nation from the evil Democrats. 

 the GOP has done an amazing job in that i guess.  they are the ones who dismiss laws for the most part, they are the ones taking away from the poor to give to the rich, but so many are willing to vote against their own interests and the interests of their families because they have been made to believe the lies being pushed at them.  the right has conspiracy theories for everything, they have the deep state as a place where all bad goes...if you are a life long GOP member who speaks ill of the potus or questions the lies....you are tossed into the fire as being part of the deep state.

 they are again or still screaming about Hillary...while also screaming about how horrible it is that the left is investigating trump...i mean it's been a few years and the money...suddenly they care about money and length of time of an investigation...this is going on 20 years of investigating Hillary and the money they have spent on this and benghazi...and nothing.  they grilled hillary for 12 hours and still nothing. all they have gotten for all their years of conspiracy theory investigation is a semen stained blue dress and a lie about an affair.

 the whistle blower is being made out to be...surprise, surprise... a member of the so called deep state.  you know who came up with the term deep state...?  Putin...such fools.  the GOP have been playing into Puts hands this whole time by allowing this idiot to run our government at his bequest.  they are allowing trump to follow orders from the Kremlin...what did they speak of during that 1-2 hour meeting where the foolish GOP members around this iitoo did not force him to have a handler. 

 they have apparently been hiding reports of embarrassing conversations in places where they thought nobody would ever be able to look...now the whistle blower has given us an inkling to where the worst may be found.  our potus abused the power of his office to bully a leader of a nation under pressure from putin, to try to impact our nations election. to try to benefit himself.  the right doesn't care because they are stupid enough to think that clinton was a worse enemy than Putin or Russia. 

 they give these people far too much power. the truth is...the GOP investigated for decades and only found the blue dress.  a man of poor character when it comes to making life choices about his sexuality, but their guy trump has a long line of bad choices...some he got fixers to pay off and make sign privacy agreements...I'd bet that he hasn't just slept around on all his wives but that he has no doubt paid for a few abortions. he isn't called don the con for nothing. 

 sex and lying about it to the GOP is considered a high crime, but using your power to force other nations, who are dependent on us for help, to drum up lies to prove your conspiracy theories and help you win an election...that is a nothing burger.

 covering up your abuses of power is a nothing burger. 

 the truth is the whole conspiracy bull is the nothing burger.  the only options really are A. the GOP are the absolute worst investigators known to man B.  Hillary and Bill are incredibly brilliant and so well connected and loved that the GOP hasn't been able to find anyone to flip on them... or C...the shit they claim in these huge, protracted conspiracy theories, are bull.

 I'm going with C.  i just do not believe that, especially Hillary, ever had enough charisma to cause thousands to risk their own demise on her behalf. of course, i don't get it with trump either, but as is more normal, more rational...there are folks getting caught up and arrested and charged.  there are the leaks and there are his own words that speak the to what is really happening.  his crazy personal lawyer who is either a brilliant distractor or just plain bat shit crazy.

 the special envoy to Ukraine has resigned.  Volker will no doubt testify in these impeachment investigations..what will he say.  guiliani has over stepped in his role as the iitoo's personal lawyer and Barr had made himself a personal lawyer to this iitoo and seems to have forgotten his role to the nation as a whole. 

 quite simply, the whistle blowers notes, the notes of the call and the presidents own words are the semen stained blue dress here.  the cover up will be the down fall though i suspect.  thought this administration loves to call themselves the most transparent...they have apparently hidden several things, more than we currently are aware of, in super coded places.  a vote for trump, as it turns out, was a vote for Putin.  those who voted for trump were duped into allowing putins voice and influence into our house. when will they wake up and send trump packing.

 will one on the inside get so pissed they will spill or kill?  will trump steal away in the middle of the night for Russia in hopes of becoming one of Put's oligarch crew?  i don't see him resigning. not sure he likes pence much...no loyalty for pence nor do i see him wanting to yield his new found power over to pence, his court fool.  we will hear him scream every day they investigate..the only perk to that is the more he is distracted by the investigation the less he may be able to get done otherwise.

 3 nights of work completed.  dog park between shifts.  this week i worked ER, ER and then PCU.  survived. the first night the ER put me in the acute area.  it went fine.  lots of new folks getting started there.  the second night i ran fairly hard in the back for several hours. my patients were pretty spread out and emotions/pain issues kept me hopping. PCU night went pretty well. nice folks overall. 

 went a bit crazy with some Halloween shopping today.  excited to have a return of the Pumpkin Massacre.  it will be the evening of 10/20!  we just get together and carve pumpkins, casual...if there is anyone who wants to join us, let me know for details.

 ate dinner with my friend, in from Hawaii.  we ended up at this little burger joint. neither of us had ever been.  it was a hot spot and they do make good burgers.  Tommy's Burger Spot.

 raining pretty good when i hit the dog park today.  just us folks who are die hard walkers or have crazy dogs that must be worn out.  ran into my DR there...one of them anyway.  she has a few goldendoodles, the urologist i saw also had a pair of siblings, 10-12 weeks old goldendoodles...cool people have doodles, what can i say.

 we shall see what comes from all this.  these latest infractions and the information surrounding them are pretty glaring.  trump and his band of fools and thugs are not smart enough to not screw up in a cover up.  surely not as smart as the Clinton's, haha.  they are masters at obstruction of justice though and many have been willing to risk their own reputations to protect their cult leader.

 dogs enjoy a little swim.

 just love the reds out there

 so beautiful.  another Monday walk tomorrow.  then Tuesday I'm back to work for 3 more.

 yet another break on the tundra on our drive across the highway.  we were pretty lucky in that we seemed to stay just in a sweet spot of sun as we drove along.

 lots of stops to toss the tennis ball and let the dogs stretch.  i enjoy a good stretch as well.

 we were doing some games at home tonight and brushing them.  they seem to enjoy getting some grooming done.  especially Tusker.

 dogs in the bush.

 just love to watch them pounce about. pure joy really. 

 Ivy is a bit nuts but she is the sweetest pup.  she is all love and happiness.

 flinging herself over the brush.

 guess i should head to bed here in a bit.  do want to look through some of the pictures i took on the Homer trek.  was thinking of listening to Preet.  his podcast is always a favorite.

 my friend CR, who joined me on the trek north.

thankful for:  A.  a break and some movement on the process to impeach.  he is a menace and is a danger to this nation.  he has no doubt done some high crimes and misdemeanors at the very least.  so i am thankful to the whistle blower for being brave and for going down the paths set up to try to check this out of control potus.  B.  the furs in my life.  C.  the fall