off to Homer...

 thought i'd toss in some more photo's before i head out.

 i woke early and checked the weather at various places. had debated a little escape but considering how i've been spending too much time arguing on facebook it's time to escape i think. arguments are not worth it.  some just try to out word you...i suspect i just take my frustrations out from work out on facebook, which i suppose isn't the worst thing.  there are better ways to deal with the stress though. more positive ways...like taking off to Homer for a few days.

 KR retirement gathering.  Lucky girl!!  :-)  nice to see folks out side of work. 

 more shots of the remodeled cabinets.  hopefully, soon i will get the shelves up and the cabinet over the washer/dryer done.

 knobs are on and the liner in.  hate loading up....will need to go through all the crap that was in there and trash stuff.  it's sad how much crap we all collect in this life. most of it useless.  once it's all done though it will be nice to have it clean and neat again.  at least for awhile.

 many mushrooms are old and decaying. the lions mane seems to be thriving still.  a daddy long legs had taken up residence the last i checked on it

 this is how many are starting to look. we shall see if i see any down on the kenai. will stop for a few walks with the puppies. perhaps a stop in Girdwood since i did some walks yesterday in Portage.

 still need to work on this little backsplash

 trash to curb, hope no bears get into it.  my co cat owner has been told she will have access to this face while i'm away.  she loves this guy.  he was around last night, now he's out so i'll have to locate him and shut the outdoor run before i leave. it's supposed to rain here the next few days.  he's not big on the rain anyway. 

 always love finding these blue wood bits for photo ops.

 some mushrooms have different undersides.  these are always cool finds. 

 this log had loads of puffballs on it.

 yesterday we did about 3 miles on the trail of blue ice.  there were a lot of folks out there biking.

 after that i headed over to Byron Glacier trail.

 that glacier has receded so much since i arrived here years ago.  it looks different every time i go there. it's more of a hanging glacier whereas it used to be more easy to walk up to.  there is this old point to stand at to observe the glacier.....it's so far away from the glacier at this point.  looks odd amongst the rocks

 a certain kitten has come in looking for his breakfast as well.  time to cat wrestle

 then a quick pack. thankfully i'm a pretty fast packer.  you learn over the years what you need.  it's Homer though so i can always pick up the items i forget if i forget anything.  strange to not have had any real camping trips this year.  haven't been in a kayak at all. so sad...

 still we've managed some fun despite covid.

 this is the downstairs cabinets, the other above is the upstairs.  i'm just excited when i do any home projects.  i am not very skilled but i have learned a few things over the years.  good to give it a try. the floors will be next i think.  may buy enough tile to do both bathrooms the same but do the downstairs first followed by the main room, then stairs/hall and upstairs bedroom....

 there are always so many projects in a house. would like some new stair railing i think.  decisions, decisions.

 little signs of fall starting to show up.  i think the fireweed may  be done on the kenai, but we shall see.

 it's always a favorite

 these are also puffballs, but puffed out as i call them.  if you whack them a big puff of smoke will be released...so fun.

 as usual we will stop several times along the way. it's about a 5 hour drive to Homer.

 low tides will be close to 1-2 in the afternoon so not bad. 

 Tusker often plays keep a way with the tennis ball much to Ivy's dismay.  she will be thrilled to be headed to Homer. they know the word beach

 morning play time

 various mushrooms

 there were a few big clusters yesterday out in Portage. i was just a bit too late to hit their mushroom peak but it's been a great year for mushroom hunting out there

 not a great year for much else it seems.  lots of stress.

 am i a angry, hateful person.  i don't think so.  i get angry though.  i get frustrated. our world just feels like it's out of control right now.  there does seem to be a lot of hate. 

 thank you for reading...i suspect most just look a the pictures, which is fine.  mostly, i post just to get the pictures out there...many say the pictures make them happy.  the words are just to get stuff out of my head so that i'm not a total lunatic on social media.

 you are supposed to not react, especially if you are female.  you are supposed to be good girls and have no opinion.  if you become angry you are deemed hysterical. if you speak out and are independent that is called being pushy and angry.  men can be pushy and angry and it's just more acceptable.  girls are supposed to be sugar and spice and everything nice. i was never wife material. i'm too independent.  too opinionated.  too willing to speak up, fight back.  these are not good qualities in a good girl. i am not a good girl.

 unpredictability does have it's good points. 

 the capturing of the shrew.

 he is a hunter.

 i long ago gave up fitting in.  i don't. do i piss people off? do i occasionally look crazy and hysterical, no doubt.  i am a fighter though. i always have been.  i take the bait, i bite back.  sometimes that means i get slammed.  some can be downright nasty. that is the internet.  i have been nasty myself a few times...not to the level that some are...i mean i have been on the receiving end of that cruelty...i know there are others who are way more pissed off than me.  still my best action is to not engage. 

 it changes nothing and i know engaging probably doesn't add anything positive to my life.  that time would be better spent outside. 

 i take the bait....but i will just have to try harder to not take the bait...to find other ways to release my covid/work frustrations.

 you have to decide who you want to be in this world. 

 more puffballs

 i will still release that frustration here.  it's what i do. i have managed to not post anything political on my facebook page. it's really about taking back facebook and making it positive.  that has meant just  cutting out the negative on facebook. often i just unfriend over unfollow.  why? it makes it so if i do go check in on that page i only see the things that person tags others i know in...which is general family photo's.  a few siblings and friends just can't not post lots of political things...if i just unfollow i will see all the political things when i check in.  still work to do...not taking the bait.

 an ongoing battle with a few siblings who have chronically tossed me bait and my response has been to come out swinging.  is that from being the youngest of 7? don't know. i have mostly just walked away so that i don't have to deal with it.  it's no relationship if all you are doing is arguing, but i have suspected it was easy to argue with me. i took the bait and i was fodder. i'd left what we grew up being told was true so that made some uncomfortable and possibly angry. oddly, they were the ones complaining about the religion we grew up in which is what influenced me to question it all. they stayed though.  many stay...is it just comfortable and known? are they just scared of change or of what would happen if they did leave? i'll never know.  we all make our own choices.

 life isn't perfect but overall i am happy i made the choices i made.  that life would not have brought me what this life has. time is very limited on this earth so i'd rather have spent it doing what i'm doing over doing what was expected and always feeling like i may be missing something.

 sunrise from my patients room the other day. our days are getting shorter.  off to pack and prep

thankful for A. a blog so i can scream, cry, yell, ponder,escape or just get the crap out of my head B. freedom to explore in mind and soul  C. time on earth