i am a terrible person...

 

that is according to certain people who believe that whether you return your cart every time you shop or not is the only determination of this. haha. i tend to park near a depository for carts but there are times when i have not returned carts. often there is no depository. sometimes the parking lot is so pocked up with holes in the snow...perhaps the companies that own and don't maintain the parking lots have something to do with this and bear some responsibility.  sometimes it's a beautiful day and i think, man if i was working inside today i'd love an excuse to get outside...and sometimes yes, i'm just lazy. 

i doubt anyone does much 100% in life. we are all a little fallible. so i guess some days i am a terrible person and most days i am not. i can live with that. in general i am trying to be a good, kind and decent human and i believe that mostly i am.  

i guess i feel like in a world with so many bad and terrible things that people do to each other, not returning a cart on occasion is probably pretty low on the list and people would be wise to work on larger issues in our society.  you know, things like making folks who are gay/trans...feel so terrible about themselves that they kill themselves. 

love these old photo's of Tusker that pop up.  i like adding some more recent shots and some from last year.  i have many photo's to put in here, brings back many fun memories both recent and less recent. 

still painting those rocks.  they do improve and it's fun to see the skills improve. some rocks i do keep despite letting many go. 

i'm awake at a way too early hour so i opted to just write a blog.  i return to work tonight.  sleep would be wise but here i am.  it's pretty rare that i wake up so early.  when i do i generally will return to bed and try for a few more hours, especially when i will be working.  today, my alarm is set because the tile guy will be returning here. today is grout and hopefully getting the room back together.  

the tile looks great and the tile guy is skilled. i think he has enjoyed being given some space to create. tile is fun that way. you can do fun stuff with it. he's shown up when he said he would and works hard...so anyone want info for a great tile installer just message me. 

i was super embarrassed the other morning. i have given them the garage door opener with the promise to leave the door to the house inside the garage unlocked so they can work, even if i'm sleeping. of course, after working my first 12 hour night shift last week i automatically locked said door out of habit.  years of living in L.A., being a single female and having been woken up once with a man in my room feeling me up have made this a fact of life i guess. i turn off the sound on my phone at work and some days i forget to turn it back on....so they couldn't reach me when they were unable to get in.  putting us a behind on work.  his time is valuable so i felt terrible and apologized profusely. 

last week i was in the ER all week. the last day i did get to leave early, which is always a treat.  one night a co-worker begged to go home early...how could i resist.  she seemed very determined and it was just a few hours anyway. 

last night was Sunny's last day of puppy class.  he's doing well.  starting to improve on the stay command. i've confused him a bit with an up pretty command and attempting to teach him a paw command.  as with most stuff he does seem to be confused when i first introduce things but as soon as he gets it he gets it. 

walked with friends yesterday. out at North Bivouac.  there was apparently a body found somewhere out in the woods at one of those trailheads up Campbell Airstrip Road.  no signs of anything on yesterdays walk. hadn't been too keen on going on my own since that happened. my ongoing fear of having my dogs zip into woods only to return with an arm or leg of some deceased human.  it's always the dog walkers that find the bodies it seems. i'm not keen on becoming on of those statistics. 

the kitties scuffle at times, i suspect it's because of the new puppy and their frustration.  i also find this happens less when i get the toys out and play with them more.  overall, there is peace in the house. 

puppies are puppies though and can be annoying to cats.  they have many escape places, i've made sure of that. 

need to work on taxes for both myself and WARIS on my next stretch of days off.  slowly the to do list gets tackled and rebuilt. that is life right? the constant to do lists. 

growing on my to do list this week is laundry.  for one person i do have a lot of laundry.  well one person and 4 animals.  so once the tile is done and the washer and dryer are set back up i will have some catching up to do.  i don't do laundry unless i'm home for fear of fires or floods.  the fire part comes from my Mom and the flood part just from others experiences i guess. 

my Mom was always very cautious about fire.  the story i recall her telling me was that her father and his brothers were home and their sisters dress must have caught fire.  the mother was at church, which i guess was pretty usual....that sister died from this fire. my Mom would relate that she believed this caused resentment towards the church, which led to several of her uncles not going to church? not sure...looking back, with what i know, it could just be they did not believe in the Mormon church and stopped attending. 

people inside the church often want to find other reasons for people to stop going to church other than the church is not true. when i was growing up it seemed to be mostly because they wanted to party and sin and so they left. not why i left of course, but it's easier than dwelling on your belief system.  if others find it to be unbelievable you may have to questions things as well and most do not wish to do that. 

it is kind of amazing that generation after generation stay with religion, out of habit in a way.  even more odd is that these people from all these different religions believe often that their religion is the right one.  always seemed odd to me that i was somehow just so lucky or whatever to have been born into the right church.  the Mormons explain that away by letting you know that was no random thing. in their doctrine you were born "under the covenant" because of your good acts/choices in the pre-life.  you had already proven yourself more worthy than others born on the earth.  this as well, felt very strange to me and the older i get the more bizarre it seems.  

seems a good way to prove yourself more worthy than so many others on this earth..you were better than others before you took your first breath? 

these are from the fall. the ice was just starting to form.  now the snow is melting. 

hoping the car survives. lots of deep snow holes and pot holes on the roads.  the trailheads are a mess, the parking lots are a mess...it's all a mess.  the main roads are getting better and better. i feel adventures coming. 

will have to try and hit a few of these beaches again before the snow totally melts.  this trail only exists in the winter as it's generally a boggy mess

my work week was mostly the usual stuff.  the covid numbers are down.  not gone, of course, but life at work at least feels more normal.  

mask wearing has decreased around town.  i tend to still wear mine. in puppy class i didn't.  we are very spaced out in general in a large space so when they released the mandate i was fine removing my mask.  

Ukraine.  still getting bombed by the bastard, putin.  

the GOP is still insanely pushing conspiracy crack and it's followers are still eating it all up. 

the puppies are sleeping and the cats are already fed. 

our days are getting longer. the sun is already starting to come up.  

love this wild place.  love the grand views, the drama of it all. 

the changes happen weekly.  the ice and snow can be so vastly different. you would think winter is winter but each winter has it's own rhythm.  some years more snow or more ice or wind.  there is so many forms of ice and snow. 

this day i was able to use the crusted snow to make these fun hearts to leave out on the trail.  hopefully, enjoyed  by others who came through. 

i also made snow cairns.

other times the snow is far to dry and powdery.  

or super heavy and wet.  

it's a mess for a bit as winter starts and ends but in between there is such beauty and drama. 

i can't imagine living in any other state at this time.  i'm not sure i could really.  Alaska has ruined me for other places. 

i'm addicted to it's drama and beauty.

other days though i do tire of the mosquito's or the bears or of walking on ice and being concerned of falling.  no place is perfect i guess. 

but here, the imperfect stuff generally changes in the course of a few weeks. 

the politics can be annoying.  far too many not like minded.  less in the bigger city i guess though. you just can't allow yourself to dwell on the negative no matter where you live.  there is beauty in every part of this globe if you look for it.  there is also ugliness if you look for it.  sadly, Ukraine is having to deal with the ugliness in the form of this lunatic dictator who has decided to just invade them and cause death and havoc.  

so terrible that one person can cause such death and destruction.  that should never be allowed. no one person should ever have that sort of power over so many others.  

nearly time to head to bed again. my headache is gone though so that is good. 

they always come from the knots on my back and shoulders that cause tension elsewhere.  

will these disappear when i retire? will i retire or will the world as we know it end? really tough to know what the future will  bring.  i tend to hope for the best and ignore the rest to some degree. i put money into the future but don't count on it all working out one way or the other.  best to have some plans but enjoy the day.  i suspect being a nurse for years in critical care has just made me cognizant that life is fleeting.  you never know when this day will be your last.  

best to not spend your entire life planning for a future that may not happen.  

these guys keep me pretty happy in the day though. 

overall, despite being a terrible person from time to time...life is pretty dang good.  :-)  

thankful for A.  my new tile, it's looking great B. the furs i share my life with.  C. the humans who know me and love me despite my many flaws and imperfections. 

tile going in soon....

 

they just left to go get something they forgot. they have arrived on time both days and seem to be doing a great job so far. fingers crossed. above is one of my favorite photos of little Sunny Boy.  of course, those legs have quadrupled in size i think from when this was taken.

Ivy being the best big sister possible. 

we did an overnight with friends out at Beluga cabin on Sunday night.  we had perfect winter weather. it was beautiful. any trek away from home does exhaust me even if i slept great there so i did come home and take a nice long nap. is it the trip or being around humans. we just went for it, no tests, no masks. life is slowly evolving back to some semblance of normal. i am just adjusting to being around humans again. 

getting bills paid and blog done then i will head out for a walk again. 

not sure where to go today.  should be branching out now that we have longer days. i headed to Ruth Arcand Park yesterday and after doing the main loop met with TO for some more walking out there.  so the dogs got a nice long walk and the workers were free to do their noisy work without us.  the cats i'm sure hid out. i was happy to be out for the noisy bits. i had started to remove the old linoleum and they took it down to the base and prepped it all yesterday.  my job last night was to make sure no animals got on the new floor.  it was successful. 

so they are off to get the crack membrane..? not sure what that is exactly, sealant. more prep.  then they will start with the tile i think. they said it should be done by this weekend. so i should only have one or two between shift times with workers here. i gave them the garage door opener so they could come as needed. 

i made several snow hearts on this particular walk.  this trail is probably close to unwalkable at this point.  the thaw is happening and it tends to happen fairly quickly. 

i need to purchase tickets to the family reunion this summer.  not sure what will be happening in the world by then.  could get better, could get worse. 

we all are on the edge of our seats watching what is happening in Ukraine. putin won't give up and is instead making more threats of escalation. he is boxed in as his plan to just come in and "liberate" Ukraine have not gone as planned...since Ukrainian people had no idea they needed to be liberated and are not wanting to become part of the hell that putin has made russia into. 

of course there are those on the right who have had a hard time choosing the correct side of history to be on. it's pretty sad how many hoops must be jumped through in order to find yourself defending putin these days but they try. scary how people can't admit they are wrong about things that seem so obvious so instead they all dig in. not sure many will ever wake up...again i find myself seeing how the impossible of what happened in WWII became possible. 

there are so many excuses and false equivalencies. it seems fairly obvious that the level of fighting the Ukrainians are doing should be proof enough that they aren't welcoming this intrusion into their land. 

one fb friend posted something about how she can't believe anything in the media and she's heard that russia is liberating Ukraine. i'm sorry but if you look at multiple sources of information across the media spectrum you should be hard pressed to come up with that response, unless you get your information from russia state television or faux news.

i laugh to myself. i mean you can't believe any media sources but you can believe there was a flood that covered the entire earth and that a man built an ark and put 2 of every animal on that ark? you believe God came down and impregnated a teenager? 

there was a spoof on the noahs ark thing.  it was actually hilarious. people dressed as various animals leaving the ark. a polar bear was walking off asking if there would be any other stops? how was he to get to the arctic? how would he survive the heat? 

the further away i am from organized religion the more silly it all feels.  i know that is terrible and it is mocking those who believe.  God gave us intellect to be used to be rational as well as caring. 

it is clear that people are dying in Ukraine, civilians, children.  one poor old man who actually survived multiple nazi camps was blown up by russian bombs this past week. how is this okay? this ridiculous thing is that one of the bull conspiracies of russia is that they are liberating Ukraine from nazi's...since Zelenskyy is Jewish that seems a bit odd. 

it is presumed at this point that war crimes are being committed at an alarming rate. the US doesn't decide that and aren't even on the committee i believe.  putin has been told he has no right to be attacking Ukraine and that means nothing to him of course. he won't be held to account for any of this. he will abide by no international rules of war. he brutalized Syria and he is doing the same here. terrorizing the citizens by any means possible in hopes that they just give in.  so far they have not. those brave citizens come out on the streets and protest. 

it's clouding up out there. the dampness makes it feel colder. it warms up into the 30's during the day and then when the sun sets it does feel much colder.  i am wearing less layers though so i'm sure that doesn't help. 

the tile project will help me get some spring cleaning done. 

low tide isn't until after 6...could be a great late beach day/sunset walk

i'm currently gated in upstairs with the dogs. staying out of the way of the work crew.  may put the boots on and try to pick up some dog poop in a bit, while it's still frozen.

chance of flurries in the next hour.  just checked the weather

not sure what is happening at the hospital. love my days off. :-)  my friend got an on call last night. i'd be good with that this week.  

Sunny had class this week. doing well. only one more week to go. then i think i will wait until fall to start again.  want to be free to play and travel when the weather is good. do some basic training in the fall/winter. 

the two dogs really do not like being separated. 

i woke early and did some play time with Sunny and the kitties.  he loves to chase the feathers around as much as they do. i figure it's probably good for them all to play together.

i saw Covid Cat zip off the fence the other day.  he booked into the shed.  i then saw a young black cat on the fence approaching our yard. i'm thrilled Covid Cat is kind of a chicken. i sent the dogs out to scare off the beautiful black cat.  if it all keeps Covid Cat close to home i'm all for it. 

one of my rocks.  i was doing a bit of painting yesterday. i put 4 rocks out and collected only one yesterday. there was a walrus rock out there. it's super pretty. it was placed over the weekend so i figured it wouldn't be there anymore.  the regulars are hiding their rocks in new spots.  part of it the melting is opening up better hiding spots but also the regulars are getting tired of the folks that had been just coming in and taking every rock they could without ever leaving any.  they were especially fond of these fun Freddie rocks. i've never made any of them.  basically happy faces with adorable personalities.  they wanted these rocks to stay but they were disappearing. 

it led to some mini drama out there so i think i have kind of avoided the park a bit.  overall, i just place rocks when i'm in the mood.  right now i'm wanting to build up the number of rocks i have for the summer fun and photo ops.  i tend to leave them all over on my treks and less in town here. 

i don't write much if anything on the backs of mine so i am not someone who worries about the rocks being posted so i can see they've been found.  for me it's just put some happiness out there without really knowing what happens to the rocks after.  when i do write anything it's been just Tusk or Tusker on the memorial rocks. people were getting mad that the Freddie rocks got taken despite them writing leave rock in place on the back.  when i was new at the rocks i didn't even know to look at the back and even still i may like a rock and exchange it and not look a the back til i get home.  i mean some days it was well below zero out there. 

i also painted some hearts with the colors of the Ukrainian flag on them.  not sure yet if i will write anything on them. 

i tend to keep one of each type i make.  a reminder to do repeats of them later.  plus i enjoy my own rocks. i have been adding silhouettes of dogs/cats to the scenes i paint. 

this was an early snow for this year.  we have had a great snow year.  sadly i never went sledding this year.  odd for me.  i love to go sledding 

haven't watched much of the confirmation hearings. i'm too embarrassed for the idiocy of the GOP. i mean Kavenaugh was in tears and saying such idiotic things as "i like beer" in his as he tried to defend himself against allegations of sexual misconduct.  he'd gotten as far as he had but i can see that if a guy who had molested/raped me was being placed into the supreme court i may want to make sure that part of his character was made known.  generally us victims say nothing when we are raped.  we are demonized so much that it's better to just suck it up. i mean it tends to be worse for the victim than the perpetrator. some try though. 

they are asking her questions about what is a woman and on a scale of 1-10 how religious is she. what does she think of critical race theory...the same conspiracy crack as always.  so embarrassing that these idiots hold positions of power. love that she takes a pause before answering these most stupid questions. 

Madeleine Albright has passed. she was a refugee who eventually became the first female secretary of state. our rep young passed away and there has hardly been a report about it. 

these are late fall, leftover shrooms and fungi

summer will come and go quickly. i'm already excited about the next season of shrooms

i can now look at shrooms in Ruth Arcand as i expect i will find some good ones out there. all the old trails are new again. 

i think this one was at the conservation center.

the moose have been out in the usual late winter numbers...well i guess it's officially spring now. 

shout out to tastee-freez who brought this entire freezer full of ice cream to the ER break room for us to all enjoy. 

more shrooms.  

guess i better get these dogs walked. i'm currently blocked in. i'm sure he will move it so we can get out. where to walk, where to walk, where to walk. i need to get the tire on the Element filled. maybe they can get that cap off for me? 

alright.  enough time wasted. i better get the day moving along.

thankful for A. a fun project and the hope of more projects B. relative safety at the moment..that can change rapidly but you can't live waiting for the nuclear bomb to drop. C. adorable puppies and kitties.