got out on the boat...

 

the day started cloudy so i ended up just at the dog park.  in the evening i headed to Cheney Lake.  i did have to make some alterations. i had thought i could just take the boat blown up in the Element. this proved to be too risky...i couldn't see much of the road at all. it was not safe. so i returned home from the end of the block and took some of the air out. vision while driving seems pretty vital. it was easy to add the air back in once i was at the park

a guy passing by asked if i needed help getting the boat down to the water. now i can carry the boat myself, but i know at times i can be too independent for my own good. so i try to accept help when it is offered. partly because people like to help and feel needed and it's good for me to not be so stubborn and independent at times.  it's good to learn to accept help at times. 

i was able to get on and off the water without tipping it over.  it is for sure more prone to the wind than a regular kayak.  it is nice to be able to get out though without a second person.  ocean kayaks are large and there is no way for me to manage that alone. 

it was beautiful out there.  the sun had returned and there were loons, always a favorite. there were also ducklings, goslings and baby grebes. it wasn't difficult paddling but i do have a headache today which may be from the paddling i did. the old winging scapula injury. 

i did head up the trail to Rabbit Lake the other day.  in the end i turned back. i ran into a woman and then a family who had turned back due to a very irritated moose on the trail. it was nearly at the point where you would get to the open area.  the best part. however the report was that it was charging and following. they had turned back and so did i.  guess i could have waited the moose out.  it would have moved aside and it clearly did as eventually i ran into folks who had come through that area without seeing the moose. 

brave vs stupid at times.  i tend to avoid the stupid rather than stupidly be brave. i could have waited i suppose. it was hot out and we did nearly 4 miles. the dogs were happy. it was smoky out that day as well. 

the protests continue for the Roe take down. i admit it angers me.  it was under the privacy that this was allowed and this has been struck down. they will no doubt go after gay marriage and gays in general. Thomas said so in his writings. he also wants to go after birth control...oddly, haha, he didn't mention that interracial marriage is in that same path of destruction.  he's married to a trump conspiracy crack addict, who is a different race than he is.  he's refused to recuse himself from cases that could potentially involve her antics. 

our current supreme court is not supreme at all. they are a shadow of their former selves. this court has chosen to engage in pure politics over constitutional law. they protect guns more than children. 

they are not elected but they are taking away our rights. they are making moral decisions for a large portion of the population. 

i know there will be many in my family who are celebrating this ruling and will again celebrate when they take away gay marriage. they have no issues with imposing their religious beliefs with those who do not share them. they believe they are in the right and so therefore anything they do is justified by their belief system. 

they do not believe in religious freedom.  their beliefs on abortion are not shared by all religions, nor are they shared by those who do not abide by any religion.  they were always free to not have abortions. they pick and choose science and medicine when it suits them.  many demanded freedom from vaccines and mask mandates and yet they could care less about forcing a woman to carry a fetus to term. 

honestly, none of these forced delivers, if given up for adoption, should go to those who forced the births.  they should go to lgbqt couples/families. they should go to those who would raise them to be progressive in thought.  the right wants more babies out there for them to adopt.  mostly they want white babies to adopt. 

it is abundantly clear they only want these babies delivered. they only vote to protect lives unborn.  once they take a breath, the vote on the right wants to shame them for existing, shame their parents for having them.  shame is huge in Christianity.  if you accidently get pregnant, or get raped...it is for the woman to carry the shame of that by carrying and bearing a child.  they want that shame.  they want the woman to be reminded each day of her decision to have sex. 

then don't have sex...not surprising that those on the religious right purity culture do not want those who are free from that shame inducing culture to not have sex, to not enjoy sex.  one has to wonder if they have ever been allowed to enjoy sex.  i had a friend once, who had been married for nearly a year and asked me how women masturbated. how can they possibly enjoy sex if they have no idea how to even pleasure themselves?

are they just angry and jealous that there are people in society that have healthy, pleasurable sex lives?

i always figured sex was a gift given to help release stress. there is good sex but there is also bad sex...if you have never had any sex and only have sex with one partner in a group that rarely if ever discusses how to do things like masturbate or make sex more pleasurable...are you having good sex? are you just having functional sex? 

God doesn't intervene when woman have miscarriages or when these babies die in utero. God doesn't intervene when pregnant women die in war, as they are in Ukraine.  this whole notion that God somehow wants all these babies to be born is ridiculous. their precious bible speaks of times when God had zero issue taking out thousands and thousands of fetuses. the flood comes to mind.  there are several examples of Gods wrath coming down on the population in general.  many in any given population will be pregnant. 

religion, especially Christianity, push these ideas that God is somehow involved in our every moment. watching over us closely. it's a really arrogant view if you ask me.  that some God really gives a shit if i had sex last night or a glass of wine with dinner. that this would happen as God looks the other way to great atrocities...or even small atrocities. children being forced to have sex with family/friends/relatives. that a child could become pregnant from incest and rape seems to me to be proof that this God is not watching over anything. 

the idea of God and that there is some higher power that will save and protect us..it's a comfort.  sadly, it's not much more than that. do miracles happen. yes, but is it God or is it just luck, or that you had a great medical crew or pilot or whatever. you were either in the right place at the right time or the wrong place at the wrong time. 

to be moral and ethical because it's the right thing to do vs doing it because some God will smite you somehow...? i think the former is a much more noble reason. to act kindly out of fear vs acting kindly because you are human and therefore humane...

our nation in particular prefers to force shame on others.  i'd read about some cities across the globe that plant fruit trees in public spaces.  the fruit then can be used by anyone. it can feed.  why, when we can plant any tree on the streets do we do all we can to avoid planting trees that will feed?

we make excuses.  it could be messy when fruit falls uneaten.  it will encourage people to not work if we give them options for free food. it will compete with grocery stores and farmers ability to make money.  it could cause lawsuits if this fruit then makes others ill or they fall trying to climb trees to get to the fruit. 

this lacking in my mind shows our greater issues. we have abandoned community.  we have clung to individualism and capitalism. we are more concerned with the aesthetics of our community than feeding the poor. also, we simply do not want to make it easy for poor at any cost. we want them to feel shame. we want them to have to pull out food stamps in the grocery line as a reminder of what they did or didn't do to deserve the place they are in. we want to force them to have babies but we do not want to help them with those babies once they have them. we want them to be filled with ongoing shame for daring to have sex outside of marriage. 

of course, those with money will always be able to sneak their mistresses off for the abortion. 

it's always odd to me as well.  many who get abortions are educated, liberal thinking...so by forcing them to be parents they risk more children being raised to eventually think counter to them.  they also do this with gays in the military.  they do not want them in the military so they then protect them from serving in dangerous war zones. seems counter intuitive at some level. 

i have lost respect for many over these past years. i have come to see the sadness of their world views. the selfishness, the callousness. how many would force these births and yet refuse to support those born.  they do not want to fund healthcare or education.  they do not want these families to have support for addiction, abusive relationships. they damn the children because they damn the parents. 

it rained last night but i see the sun is emerging again. 

will head to Kincaid i think today. probably Jodphur.  it's still the weekend so the main trailheads will be insane. i do miss living in Ketchikan some days. the smaller town, simpler life. you can be protected from all the madness going on. 

i do believe this is a misstep for the right really.  reaching this goal...in many ways they need those fetuses to be aborted. it was their battle cry.  they have pushed too far with many saying those who are raped somehow deserved it or deserve to carry the baby or have less rights than the fetus within them. proving rape is no easy task, especially in this society that condemns the raped more than the rapist. 

if they gave a crap about the actual fetus they would have pushed for better maternity care. they would push for the woman to receive support from the father from the point of conception.  they would insist on life insurance payouts for miscarriages. they would refuse to allow any pregnant woman to be incarcerated as they are then forcing the unborn fetus to be unjustly held captive as well. they do not do these things.  the pregnant woman to them is simply a vector for the fetus, she has few rights.  she has no rights over her own body once she is carrying this fetus. this isn't at all about the fetus, it is all about control. 

God forbid woman have sex before they are married and enjoy it. God forbid women put their careers or education before the fetus. God forbid they have access to birth control to prevent these pregnancies. they go after this next.  birth control...a known prevention for abortion.  preventing pregnancy. they do not want to prevent the situation that leads to the abortion.  they want these women to get pregnant. they want them to feel shame. 

i have a blue poppy blooming right now.  most of my stuff is planted.  there are still some starts to get planted somewhere. 

Sunny reached on a counter to find another pair of reading glasses to destroy last night. not sure why he is so addicted to this. i thought i'd tucked this pair away safely but nope. so he's destroyed like 4 glasses in 4 days. frustrating. 

i do need to do more training and keep him entertained. smart dogs will get themselves into mischief if you do not keep them entertained. i do walk them miles though. 

it is funny, i wake up to the sound of him destroying the wrong thing often. 

off to pay bills then i will head out walking.  slow motion today due to the rain. i do love that it rained today. great to sleep in. 

the family. no more surprises today. he caught a big shrew and left it by the bed for me.  i just know i will wake up with one on my pillow one of these days. there is a lot of screeching as i collect these dead things and remove them...from me. it really creeps me out. 

walk dogs, mow lawn.  trash day tomorrow. 

got some clipping done yesterday on Sunny.  i need to do more to make that more smooth.  he was not happy to be going in to the bathroom and the tub.  he's on to this game. he was running away.  it was a small  battle getting him collected and put in the tub.  it was easier to clean up the mess in there though. he gets some small matts so i'm always on watch for those and doing a lot of brushing. 

he did get several compliments at the park yesterday. well, that meant i was getting compliments for the cut i did. 

i need to learn to be better at taking compliments, at believing them and i need to learn to be kinder to myself.  it's easy to be cruel to yourself in your head. hard to reprogram yourself to be kind to self. 

a few sunsets from work

or maybe sunset and sunrise. we get both during our shift.

we have beluga cabin again.  thinking tomorrow i do a day trek to Talkeetna. then cabin tuesday/wednesday then back to work. 

road on the Denali Highway i believe.

well, i guess i better wrap this up. 

stay strong.  be kind. find some way to have hope, even on weeks like this when it's easy to feel a bit hopeless. 

they are making the world worse for themselves with their vote...they have been made fools of. we can see it, they just haven't woken up to it yet. we lose rights but they lose them right along with us. stupid is as stupid does. 

grateful for A. being on this side of life as our nation falls to bits B. the privilege of the life i was lucky to have gotten.  C. each day i am safe in this world.