the retraction.....i apparently screwed myself out of money. much of the rest of the rant stands....!

 

when you are wrong admit it. talking with a friend, thank you MT and looking over the form.  it had said my leave balance was exhausted. i'd put it in as unplanned instead of unplanned ana i guess? i was in the throws of a migraine so i guess that is some excuse. that is what i'm thinking at this time anyway. my pay check was smaller than usual.  that is stress inducing as it is.  i will survive.  we did just get our pfd checks so i have more cushion than usual. 

i was then just in the throws of a tired nurse sick of being under appreciated...i know i am not alone with that. 

walked the dogs today and trying to get some things done.  many thanks to those who commented and supported. i am sorry for ranting when it was all my own fault in the end. 

so i am perhaps more of a stupid employee who can't figure out the complicated krono's than a terrible one. i do miss when other people handled this stuff.  i see those commercials about having control over this stuff but i don't want it.  i want other people do deal with these complicated time card issues. 

i will still be getting a speaking to in regards to the sick call i suspect.  my immediate middle management team is generally very good.  it's really why i don't switch jobs.  float pool is really one of the rare times i've had good managers in my entire nursing career. i'm not sure why that is or if i had just been less than lucky. it just seems like nurses are not always the best to rise to managers.  the philosophy of the manager that originally hired me to float pool still has some residual influence there i think, though she passed away many years ago now.

the management above them...well, i fear even if some of them did ever work the bedside, they quickly forget that there are even sick people there.  it's always amazing to me how little they seem to involve themselves with what this place actually is...a hospital full of sick and dying people. i'd hate to be in management.  to deal with crap like krono's and jahco.  i'd have jumped off a cliff decades ago. 

need to sign up Sunny Boy for a second lesson in the pool. i think he's grown into his legs more, so may be a better swimmer.

most of the time i have just learned to avoid management as much as i can.  it does just feel like when i do run into them there is always some thing i'm missing in education or i've been sick too much or once a chart i'd probably left open in the ER was used by someone to look up patient info on a vip patient. of course, we were always told in nursing school that there are no vip patients....haha. yea, right. anyway.  on that one i just mentioned if i had no idea what vip was ever in the ER but i promised her that in the Er nobody has time to log off of their computers every time they walk away. i actually took photo's of Dr's computers wide open with no Dr anywhere near...figure if i go they go. i did tell them that as well.  i would lawyer up for sure in that situation. 

i think all of us are way past due to get some recognition of all we have done for our patients. we need to be thanked and recognized for staying here through the pandemic instead of booking like so many others have. we have taken the brunt of it all while working beside people often doing less work, less competently than us but for far greater pay 

i really do not begrudge the travel staff for the pay differences.  any one of us could have done the same.  quit and followed covid around getting big ass contracts.  we aren't all able or willing to do it.  so we were mostly happy to have the help.  some of that help was a bit scary at times. many who came were excellent though but every day the core staff work we are answering questions, directing people, helping people get on board. that extra work we did without compensation or gratefulness really.  it was just expected. 

i recall one travel nurse in the icu that i finally just went back to my patients as she seemed pretty clueless. i just found the charge nurse and told them my concerns...felt worse for charges because if these people are crap and screw up it could come back on them. 

blogging is how i clear the anger, frustration, confusion, demons out of my head. we all have to find ways to cope and release. i don't think i release this frustration often enough. none of us do. i walk, i take pictures, i become a hermit with my dogs.  we all have those things we do to try and cope with all the added stress we have had to have on our plates. we all deserve to be recognized for the added stresses we have endured.  

i think we've all battled extra anxiety, depression, frustration and out right anger at times. we have had to find ways to have mini explosions or we would have exploded in very unhealthy ways.  so some times i've been in hiding, silent, others times i have ranted and raved. 

we were going to go to abbott loop trailhead but there were a million bikes/kids/humans and dogs there. that was a no go for sure.  we just looped around the dog park instead. 

my friend SH took these action shots of Sunny Boy at the pool. can't believe how little he was.  grown up so fast really. 

they are bathed but dirty already after hitting the dog park. one layer is off though. 

when i get off here i'll go set up the skelly's. i think with the return of some normalcy many kids will be wanting to go trick or treating. i'll get the candy slide cleaned up. it is fun. i bought i a big spider, thought i may add that to the end....decorate the slide a bit.

Halloween is a favorite...low demands and all fun. 

eating my own crow....better get moving and get a few things checked off the to do list.  rant, done, rant retraction, done. :-)  

i hit the new AK Bark today as well.  shopping for the dogs can be therapy.  Sunny now has a winter coat and a rain coat.  we may try a leash walk in a bit...if it's raining we can test out new coat. 

so that is hopefully that. i have low expectations of those big thank you from the offices in the towers..of those who run the place but don't touch or even really look at the patients.  those who get bonuses that probably equal many of our annual salaries. 

i have heard many horror stories from the lower 48, especially the south where staffing numbers are super low and patient/nurse rations super high.  i do know we have it better than so many.  still their suffering doesn't mean i think all of us, everywhere do not deserve more recognition and gratefulness. 

we did go from heroes to demons in the public eyes many times and back over these past few years. 

thanks A. kind and supportive words B. friends who know krono's better than me.  C. shopping therapy