each day an adventure in alaska: the things i don't say...

we all are learning more and more to keep our mouths shut. any conversation can turn nasty in short order. for some of us...that is a taller order than for others. i've always been outspoken and willing to say things that most wouldn't. thankfully, i have had a gift many times of being able to say things to peoples faces without them knowing they were just trashed.

one friend, who has now ghosted me, used to get frustrated that i could get away with saying the things i did say without getting in deep. she never could get away with anything. she evoked anger from others while i could call someone a jerk in my way without them knowing i had.

she used to get pissed that i'd write a semester long paper in hours and end up with a better grade than her, when she worked hours and hours the entire semester on the paper. she'd also get pissed that i would get out of ticket after ticket. maybe she ghosted me because in actuality she never really did like me all that much. not sure why she ghosted me. ghosting means never knowing. so annoying really. we all like the reasons for stuff. we rarely hear it though.

currently, i fear my tile guy has ghosted me. our text exchanges just disappeared one day. i had his number so i texted a note but nothing. bummer. he was a great tile guy. he had mentioned he really hated winter and wanted to move to Florida. after the hurricane it may have been too much temptation to get there. probably a lot of jobs for him. i hope that is what happened to him. i tend to take things personal first. the saying is always that it isn't personal usually. it's usually not about you at all. we are egotistical at baseline so we make things about us that just never were.

never made another trek anywhere. i think i gave it up. ready to cabin up early i guess. today we had our first snow. it started falling as we were almost back to the cars on the tank trail

a few examples of things i didn't say this weekend...

first, i was at the dog park yesterday. we usually lose tennis balls and honestly, who cares. the only time it bugs me is when a dog snags it and then the owner is all, "we'll never get it back" or something about their dogs stealing toys all the time. basically, i tend to feel like dogs should have some basic skills to be at a dog park and that owners should be able to get dogs to sit, drop, come. the lady was all just follow us and i'll eventually get the toy back. i didn't really want to follow her. Ivy was pretty sad though. i walked behind her then eventually i just passed her and gave up on the toy completely.

the lady was pretty pregnant...what i wanted to say is that if you can't teach a dog basic skills like drop, sit, come then how great of a parent will you be?

another time that i kept my mouth shut. my patient is very anxious about his impending medical bills. it's something that i suspect he ignored for ages. hoping to wait until he was eligible for medicare. the entire shift he was watching fox news. i wanted to make a comment that socialized medicine would probably be pretty great right now...not having to wait until you are over 65 to get care. so many of these fools vote against their best interest.

i was on call my first night last week. i put the time in correctly so i should get paid. i did get a message from management requesting that i come in so they can give me the official reprimand about too many sick days. i wrote back that i hoped one of these days i'd be coming in with something good that i did. with a smiley face. so i don't hold everything back.

the next night i worked ER and i ended up going home at 5:30 i think. always nice to get home a wee bit early. the last night i was in CICU. they are going to make that unit more post open hearts...i really would prefer to get out of that one i think. i have always hated open heart surgery...mostly i can't stand the cardiothoracic surgeons. they just seem to be universally jerks for some reason. special training i guess.

we also had computer downtime. it was supposed to be just for an hour but in the end it was down for over 3 hours, and went down early. always a bother.

it is amazing that we never had any of this computer stuff at one point in my career. one wonders how we did it all. at the time all the units had unit clerks though and they would do all the order entry/calls to get stuff done. we are a mess without the computers now though.

this stretch off i need to get photo's loaded to shutterfly and get those cards/calendars made.

always worry i won't have enough usable photo's. not big fun treks this year it felt like, though i always discover looking back i did a lot more than i realize.

it's probably just that social media gives you the false idea that your life is dull as you look at all the adventures of others.

i did get in a few treks to Homer. some of these are from those treks

well last years trek to Homer and to Kennicott

an old heater.

the dogs and i have enjoyed chilling together as usual today. Sunny still barks more than he should so he currently is wearing his bark spray collar. i haven't been consistent. i have been carrying treats on the trails and at the dog park i've done some sit/stays. tougher with all the other distractions out there.

i was trying to figure out a noise, but it's the snow melting outside. the mountains will be coated and probably stay that way until April or May.

last summer we had Tusker here in Homer and this summer it was Sunny Boy. i will occasionally just call him Tusker. you move forward but that doesn't mean you don't look back and miss all those sweet pups who have shared your life.

i have had some really great dogs in my life. i think of Tusker often and still feel horrible at how the ending all went down. he was just too young. i do cherish those last snuggles and that i was there for him in those last hours. that was and remains so painful when it comes to Blossom. missing that time with her. knowing she was alone and may have suffered in those last hours of life.

saw a post somewhere about a dog being in and out of hospital for months with multiple surgeries that was finally starting to appear to be on the mend....i honestly, just felt badly for that dog and was grateful that i didn't put Tusker though all of that. i can see where it would be easy to get in that long haul, surgery after surgery. i hated to lose him but i couldn't bear to put him through all that misery. we don't have to.

love these tail shots. need to cook up the bacon and give him another groom. probably should clip his tail down a bit. not sure i should trim his body too much. give him a little extra coat for winter.

these are from a trek this year down south.

he really enjoyed joining Ivy on the beaches. he's a fan.

he chases birds like Tusker did, unlike my previous dogs he shows an interest in the dead stuff.

each dog comes with their own personalities.

these cats do as well.

speaking of cat antics...i have closed out the missing shrew case. i had put out some humane traps after a shrew got away in the house. one was in the front entry way.

when i came home from work yesterday morning the mouse trap was some 8 feet from where i'd put it.

odd i thought and at first i didn't see that there was a little shrew in there.

there it was though. scared but alive. my friend mentioned it was probably not all that humane to be trapped in a trap and batted around all night by the cat and maybe the dogs. wish i had a camera for what happened with all that.

the shrew was successfully released back into the wild. i put him out the front. perhaps the neighbor cats will collect him as a gift for their human.

the traps are out in case there are more. no signs but you never know.

i thought of that baker killer. release the victims back out into the wild only to be hunted down again. i got yelled at soon after the above photo was taken. i had gone out on the ski only trails because they were a mess and i figured nobody would be out there in that slop skiing...they were. i pulled the dogs off trail but one lady let me have it.